The Weakness of the Akatsuki
by Eerie Enigma
Summary: During the Sasuke Retrieval Arc, the Leaf and Sound nins were prepared for anything...almost. What happens when S - Rank criminals make a surprise appearance? SasorixTayuya as well as other surprise pairings. My first story.
1. Prologue

**A/N: Alright, all. This is my first story. Took some time to finally start since the time I actually became a member, but all the same, I do hope you appreciate it. This is quite the twist. Let me give you the headlines: during the 'Sasuke Retrieval Arc' it is Sound vs. Leaf, but in midst struggle, the Akatsuki intervene. Think the story will end the same? Every criminal has a story to tell. And just what _is _the weakness of the Akatsuki? Is there only a single, primary threat to ninjas everywhere - or is there some _other _ organization wandering the world? Rated T for profanity. Watch for pairings!**

** My goal is to set my fanfic to be the best SasorixTayuya, and since I surmise that mine is the only one currently existing, it should not be too hard.**

** Please R&R to tell me how everything goes, and above everything: enjoy the story. If you think that it starts off lousy, just trust in me when I say that it _will _get a whole lot better.**

**Enjoy!  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

**Prologue**

A man sat alone at the edge of a cliff towering stories and stories high from any of the tall trees that stood below. He seemed to be up in the sky as a pose to everything beneath him. The sky was dark. Not as in nighttime dark, but _dark _dark. Almost an evil purple along with the black, starry sky that anyone was accustomed to seeing. There was no wind, even as high up as the rag-worn wanderer sat. It didn't even feel cold.

The whole world, the world that he now exists in, it was boring. Utterly. And it wasn't the world that you are thinking of.

The man's face was not clearly visible underneath the ceremonial, animal-like mask that he wore. Even without it, he wore a big, black, heavy hood over his head, just like some of the ANBU that he once knew would. He would wear it alot ever since his defeat over ten years back. Back then, right before his untimely demise, he wore such a heavy heart for what he would have to do.

And he did it.

Slowly, the figure reached up for that ceremonial mask that he wore to conceal his identity, and pulled it off. His now cold lips drew in and drew out what would be considered air where he was, now in this bleak, desolate wilderness. A cloud of his own breath left from where he exhaled, his upper face still hidden under his rags. It was nothing like home. Home was warm. Home was where he was surrounded by the proud people of his village, constantly getting smiles of respect or love wherever he went. Home was now dead.

Or maybe it just seems dead because he is now gone.

For anything that he knew, it could be doing alright without him, having been saved by the Demon, but that didn't stop him from missing it.

Not one little bit.

He missed home. And time goes by so much slower where he resides now, quite unwillingly, which made him miss it even more. He had also found a beautiful place afterward, and he did have a lover there. Alas, a cruel man had forced him from right out of her arms and practically dumped him here. In this wasteland, so devoid of life. Being here was worse than dying. Where were the people? The birds? The animals? The running water? The blue sky? The refreshing wind carrying that sweet spring fragrance as it brushed by? Gone. All gone. And it wasn't coming back.

Solitude this extreme would drive any normal person insane, and he thanked himself that he wasn't a normal person.

How long had it been? It felt like over a hundred years since he was happy. Since he had someone. And that was taken away...by a _voice_.

A voice. It was a treacherous one. The tone that it used sounded like more than enough to poison and kill someone, or perhaps stab them to death violently, but he was forced to follow it like a siren's call. And it led him here.

...And he didn't know why.

He had, however, gotten to know the person as he had gotten to know the voice, and even in that brief time that he heard it chanting for him and abandoned him out here, he had already learned its name.

The young man's teeth gritted in anger and grief at the remembrance of that voice, and that man. Slipping the decorative mask back across his face to look up to the starless void once more, he stood up tall, his tattered cape and remnants of his almost black scarf drifted behind him.

The voice he remembered belonged to a pale, evil man. The Snake Sannin.

...Orochimaru.

* * *

"Alright, is everybody ready?" Tsunade asked for finalization to the retrieval squad.

Everyone on the team stood in front of her: Shikamaru, Naruto, Neji, Kiba, and Chouji. Their expressions said everything, as this could be their very last mission for all that any of them knew. They were prepared indeed, and they would have to make it fast to catch up with the Sound that had infultrated their village like rats in a kitchen. By the time anyone had noticed, they had already taken Sasuke.

"We're all accounted for, Lady Hokage." Shikamaru answered her, his arms crossed, which he only did when he was very serious about something. "Please be sure and tell all of our sensei not to worry for us."

Tsunade closed her eyes in satisfaction. "Will do." She put her hand on her hip in her customary pose. "Odds are that they aren't worried anyways...seeing as how much all of you have grown up after leaving the academy."

Everyone cracked a small smile, gaining a slight boost of confidence from her words. Anyone would agree, since the academy, they had all been training like crazy. Some more than others, but everyone grew.

"Just you wait!" Naruto shouted from where he was at, throwing his fist forward in his nindo pose in show to hers. "We'll get Sasuke back! I have no doubt about it."

Any other time, the others would have found this obnoxious and frankly corny stunt to be irritating, but today was a whole new day, and if anything, it brightened their spirits even more.

"I won't swear for the others' lives...but I swear on behalf of my whole life, I'll do whatever it takes!" He finished zealously.

"Hm." She mumbled quietly out of a small grin as she stood with her eyes closed in pride.

_'That kid is dumb enough to try anything... Kinda reminds me of Jiraiya, really...'_

But she quickly pushed that thought to the back of her mind and cleared her throat, preparing to speak again.

"Alright then! Give it everything you got! All of that training has added up to this moment! Use everything that you learned..." She threw her fist into her other hand for emphasis, making a loud clap noise. "...and be sure and give the Sound a good thrashing!"

"Right!" Everyone shouted in response, turning their heels as they made a large sprint out the gate. She didn't even have enough time to finish before they dashed forward into the face of the forest, and disappeared to the dark interior, out of sight. The watchtower shinobi gawked at their speed. Guess they didn't mess around when it came to their missions.

But one particular genin slowed behind. Little by little, he came to a complete stop, the sound of his shinobi sandals trekking the pavement could lightly be heard as the beats steadily diminished farther and farther apart, until they came to a complete halt. He looked back to see a familiar pink-haired girl, standing aways, sadness and worry filled her light green eyes as she faced him.

"Naruto..." She called to him in a quiet, timid voice.

"Hm?" He reacted as he walked forward towards the melancholy girl. As he stepped forward more and evermore, her emotions became evermore realistic to both of them. To Naruto, it seemed like less of a dream, and to Sakura, every step he made in advancement toward her added to her guilt.

Very soon, tears began rolling down her cheeks, her eyes now shut tight in a futile effort to stop them from escaping.

"Please...Naruto..." She quivered under her grief. "This is just...a once in a life time request..."

Naruto gave her a very serious look. She had never _once _asked him for a favor. What could be so important that she would actually want his help?

"...Please...just please bring Sasuke back!" Her voice was on the verge of completely falling apart from her misery. "I..." She took half a step back in timidity. "...I tried, Naruto...I tried everything that crossed my mind...but..." She tried her absolute best to fight the urge to turn her head away in self-shame from her teammate. She hated this limit that she had - unable to do something herself. She hated it _so _much. "...but I wasn't strong enough! Please...stop him!"

If she was going to continue, then she broke off. She lowered her head down, letting silverish tears fall to the ground from her cheeks. A few spots formed on the ground in front of her feet where each drop was destined to land.

Naruto was silent for a moment; he stood there, staring her down with a look of sympathy for her. The mood that he was watching her in...it was terrible. Someone wanted Sasuke back every ounce as much as he did. And he knew exactly how that feeling felt. The feeling of losing one of the most important people of your life.

"Sakura." Naruto finally spoke to the pink-haired kunoichi.

"Huh…?" She raised her head to meet up with him, her eyes drenched with tears.

What greeted her vision was a thumbs-up that Naruto held out to her as he grinned with widely with a confident smile.

"You don't have to worry! ...I'll definitely bring Sasuke back!" He said to her without a hint of doubt. "It's the promise of a lifetime!"

For a while, Sakura's expression remained emotionless, trying her best to take in what was now happening around her depression. She took a few seconds to stare at him, amazed to find that despite everything, everything that has happened, he was just as determined as ever to bring back their teammate. He considered Sasuke a friend every bit as much as she did.

Through her tears, she finally cracked a small smile to him in response. She was satisfied.

"C'mon, Naruto, let's go! They aren't _waiting _for anyone to come looking for him, ya know!" They both heard Kiba's impatient voice echo out of the background of the forest entrance.

Naruto turned away again, running to catch up to the others, but he turned his head and smiled as he ran, raising his arm up to wave her a good-bye as he shank into the distance. Then, he too disappeared in the darkness of the forest.

"...Good luck to all of you." Tsunade crossed her arms, her grin now gone.

Something was amiss.

Suddenly, Shizune poofed in from a cloud of smoke right next to her, but she didn't even flinch away from her concentrated pose.

"Lady Tsunade!" She addressed frantically, as she often did in her many rushes. "I heard that they were heading out! Is it too late to wish them good luck?" She asked her superior.

Tsunade was silent for a moment, deep in thought. Was sending them _really_ a good idea? She sensed trouble stirring in the air. Without breaking from her crossed arms, she turned her head to her assistant, giving her a serious look.

"Lady Tsunade, wh-what's wrong?" Shizune asked, not really sure if she really wanted to know the answer.

"I...said that the odds were that nobody would be worried; that they would pull through fine..."

"What do you mean? What are you talking about?"

"Shizune..." Tsunade gave her a stern look. "...you know how bad I am with odds..."

The two of them turned their heads to look back into the deep mouth of the forest.

"...I think...for some reason...we should all worry...for some reason..." Tsunade was clearly lost deep in her thoughts. Her normally stern eyes seemed lack of reflection, glazed as she stared into the forest. The trees rustled softly; a couple of leaves would break off at separate times and swirl around in meager whirlwinds, dancing in a wood's grace, scattering one by one as a mysterious force shattered them apart from each other.

Tsunade turned her face to the graying clouds in the sky and muttered one last thing with shivering eyes, and eyebrows furrowed into a worried state. "...What have I done...?"

This, of course, in turn scared Shizune to an extent. Her normally hard-headed, top-of-the-world boss was now tripping over her words, and it was the first time that she had ever seen her do so. At least since...Orochimaru came to her doorstep.

Shizune's head flashed back to how terrifying that confrontation was. Even Orochimaru's second hand, Kabuto Yakushi had to be in the Rank-A league, and he didn't look much older than any of the genin. But compared to that, he was just one of Orochimaru's little errand boys. The pale shinobi himself handled both of his opposing Sannin at the same time, in the same instant, and that was with his arms both sealed!

And to top it off, Shizune was sure that that horrible reptile that he summoned was not the greatest of his jutsu. She could tell, because that gigantic serpent, which by itself could devour the entire town that they were in, only managed to exhaust his underling's chakra, since he was the one conjured it for his master. But Orochimaru's chakra was well above his, which meant that he was easily capable for a technique much more powerful, and much more terrible. Easily.

What could his other agents be capable of if one of them was able to summon a monster that would usually take their own jounin years time to learn?

Shizune felt and heard herself hyperventilating with stress as she spoke in a feeble attempt to calm her superior. "W-well you can't think like that." Shizune replied unsteadily, holding her hand nervously to the back of her head, eyes closed. "I'm sure that all will go over well!"

* * *

_Miles and miles away-_

A great cavern situated in the middle of the Land of Rivers, dark and quiet as a tomb.

Outside of the cave was no different, save for the seams of sunlight that seep through small gaps and openings in surrounding trees. The really eerie thing about the area around the cavern was that it was completely devoid of life. No birds were chirping – only the sound of blowing wind was present.

Inside of the cavern, no spider seemed courageous enough to spin their homes on the cold, damp, unforgiving walls. A lot bigger on the inside than on the outside, the ceiling reached stories high.

Suddenly, the floor began to shake. Soon after cracks formed on the ground, and from those cracks came great chasms. Slowly, a colossal statue emerged, consisting of a monstrous head with multiple eyes, and two hands, equally as big, bound in chains. A few minutes after it was completely formed, the fingertips began to glow; first faint, and then gradually got as bright as suns.

From faded space came figures, holographic looking entities soon lit up, as detail filled their uniforms, red clouds giving the look of a sickly green color, due to the translucency of the figures. One by one, the figures appeared, eventually coming to the number of nine. They stood on the fingertips of the statue, waiting. Suddenly, one of them spoke up.

"How long has it been since we all came together like this?"

"Seven years."

"Not since Orochimaru left our esteemed family…"

One of the figures stood upside down, unlike the others, seemingly standing on nothing. He had one eye visible, the other behind his lock of hair. He turned to the plump figure right next to his position.

" Family, hmm? Did you hear that, Master Sasori? I suppose that makes us brothers."

The other figure turned his head slightly and gave him a half-glare.

"How wonderful for me… Actually I see you more as…a little sister."

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" The figure retaliated, crossing his arms.

"How could I possibly make it any clearer?"

"Shut up, the both of you." Another figure, obviously the leader, had twisted eyes, almost hypnotizing to anyone who looked directly at them. "This always happens: have a nice little reunion planned, and you two are always the first ones to jump at the chance to ruin it! I especially expect better from you, Sasori…"

The two figures lowered their heads.

"Yes, mumzy." They said simultaneously.

"…What did you call me?"

Before either one could respond, another figure cut in, dropping the whole thing altogether.

"I know you brought us here for a reason, and it was for no 'family reunion.'" The new figure said. On his back, he carried a scythe that had three sickles. "I hope you have a good reason for bringing us all together – I was in the middle of a sacrifice to Jashin-sama."

"Usually when somebody interrupts Hidan's ritual, they don't function too well afterwards…"

"Say what you need to say. Go on, just say it. Spit it out. Get it out of your system. You'll feel _so _much better." The Leader dared with a deathly look in his eye. Of course anyone would obviously find that he meant the dead opposite of 'better', and 'dead' is not an exaggeration.

There was silence in the room for fifteen seconds.

"Sooooo…what's up?" A figure with a swirled mask asked.

"Huh? Oh, right… Zetsu came to me with some very interesting information that I think you all should hear. Zetsu…" The Leader motioned towards the figure behind him.

This figure had what appeared to be the jaws of a giant plant sticking up from his shoulders. His eyes glowed with a bright golden color. Half of his face was ghostly white, while the other was drenched in a pitch black. He straightened himself up and cleared his throat.

"We have news considering Konohagakure, the Hidden Leaf Village. We overheard this… Apparently, a genin named Sasuke Uchiha decided to leave the village behind, going to the traitor, Orochimaru, allegedly in an attempt to gain greater power."

"Eh? Another Uchiha? That must be your brother, Itachi."

A figure with crimson eyes kept quietly to himself from the others. "..."

"So I _was_ right."

"..."

"Ahem," the figures turned back to Zetsu. "May we continue?"

The figures nodded in response.

**"****So as we were saying,"** Zetsu's dark part took over, and the violent change in his voice caused all the others to jump, and Tobi to let out a small "yip!"

**"****We must find that boy, and kill him _very _painfully! ****MAKE HIM SUFFER! MAKE HIM BLEED! CUT HIM, **_**FOR**_** HIM!"**

"Zet, shut up and let me talk." Zetsu's light part tried to reason with him.

**"****Fine, Su, be your senile, over-caring self."**

"Thank you… As I was saying," he had his calm tone back, and the other members were relieved that his more temperamental side was gone. "We were informed that a group of highly trained sound nin are on their way to make sure that he arrives to the Sound Village safely, but there's no doubt in my-…our mind," Zetsu addresses his darker self, formally. "…that Orochimaru desires him as his new 'dream' vessel."

He looked around and saw that everyone was acknowledging what he was saying.

"But that's not the climax of my report…" He went on. "…Uzumaki Naruto, more commonly known here as the _Nine-Tailed Fox_, will be among the group of leaf genin assigned to bring him back, before he gets through the border, and out of their reach."

"So what are we waiting for? Let's have at it!" Another figure shouted.

"No, Hidan. It's more complicated than that…" Zetsu advised.

"What's the complication? We send a few members to intercept the small genin, kick his ass, and drag it back here – easy!"

"I have to agree with him," Another figure spoke out, who had a giant sword covered in gauze strapped to his back. "Nothing could be easier. Itachi-san and I have seen it before...the Fox is just a little runt. Right, Itachi-san?"

He turned to face the silent figure standing aways. Itachi closed his red eyes shut.

"That means yes!" Kisame concluded with amusement.

Zetsu ignored them, and continued.

"…If we were to go out there, into the forest, right smack between the two villages, and attack the two groups of shinobi, the villages would puzzle together that 'Akatsuki' was behind the attack. It doesn't matter if the squads assigned are little genin, or elite jounin; based on the description of your association's uniforms, if they get it through to the heads of the villages, then we would be on full alert. We would be fighting a full-scale war on both ends. And let's consider this simple fact…" He looked around to see if everyone was catching on.

"…We simply don't have enough members to fight two wars at the same time. Doesn't matter if they are as strong as Itachi, or as persistent as Hidan. Not to mention the other villages getting involved." The Leader finished for him.

"…Maybe it's time we began recruiting?" The swordsman suggested, grinning and showing a few rows of unnaturally sharp teeth.

"You're not seriously suggesting those annoying fangirls…" Deidara said, scowling.

"Oh, being one to talk, are we...?" Sasori mumbled from a position away.

"No, not them." Kisame answered Deidara. "I mean that we are not the only S – Ranks out there. Maybe we should consider adding names on the list…?"

"That Momochi Zabuza would have been a decent pick..."

Kisame grudged at the mention of one of his former colleagues' names.

"Subordinates, yes, but let's not forget the real purpose of this meeting…" The Leader reminded them. "…The Nine-Tailed Fox. We need groups into that forest, and remain undetected by the two villages, until at least we capture the Bijuu."

"Hey, no problem. Just let me rob a few banks here and there to avert their attention. You don't mind me keeping the money though, right?"

"You know that's out of the question."

"Oh, but come on! What's the point in being an S – Rank criminal if you never get to do anything fun?"

"Kakuzu, you're not normally this fritty." Hidan cracked with obvious amusement. "Don't tell me all that fuckin' money has gone to your head!"

If Kakuzu was able to inflict any damage to the reaper through the use of holographic projection jutsu, he would have found it. But since this wasn't the case, a glare that said 'I'll send you to Hell for that later' would suffice.

The Leader ignored him, and went on. "We originally planned to capture the most powerful demon last, but we could never turn down an opportunity like this, especially since Orochimaru is involved. The traitor...he still has the ring, doesn't he?"

The others nodded slightly.

"It's not only the fact that his so-called 'Village of the Sound' could spontaneously kill the most powerful and most efficient tailed beast, but we need that ring to better perform extraction rituals. If we capture the Nine-Tailed Fox now, then we need that ring to make the most of that beast's power. Everyone clear? If at all possible, find Orochimaru and seize the ring - and _kill_ him if you will, we can't have Akatsuki secrets running loose in the hands of a traitor!"

"None of you know that snake half as well as I." Sasori intruded, speaking to everyone, leader included. "Don't think for one minute that I haven't been studying him, his techniques, his moral beliefs, his abnormal behavior. If there's any person who gets to decapitate the serpent, _I_ will be that person. No. Complaints."

"Complaining." Deidara broke in, still hanging upside down.

"You mistake what I've been saying." The Leader broke in again. "I did not specify that a certain person should kill him - I just want him to die."

"Don't worry about that." Sasori's eyes gleamed from out of his dark, protruding figure. "As of now, it's game, set, and match for that one."

The Leader cracked a half-grin. Although he never really smiled, he allowed one to slip about...every hundred years. But he knew that there was nothing to worry about in regards to dealing with unniccesities. Everyone in Akatsuki was as carefully chosen as the Disciples of Christ, and that included the puppet master.

The Leader turned to certain members. "Itachi, Kisame, Sasori, Deidara, Zetsu, err…Tobi…" The figures lifted their heads. "You will organize into teams to intercept the Leaf and the Bijuu, and to make sure nobody else interferes. Kill all shinobi that travel with the vessel, and kill the ones who don't. Kill everyone else affiliated with the mission, but _don't kill the Jinchuuriki._ Nothing must go wrong."

The members nodded, understanding.

"Hidan, Kakuzu...I mean, Kakuzu, Hidan..." He corrected his speech, turned towards two more figures.

"NaaaaaaAAAAHHH? Did you just change it to announce my name arbitrarily?" Hidan blurted pointing at him with an accusing finger.

"...Seniors before juniors, Hidan." Kakuzu replied, glancing at him from the side.

"What? That's bull! I never once saw myself as the weaker of the two of us!"

"...And you were decapitated _how _many times...?"

"Hey, fuck you!"

Their leader cut in. "…You two are to go to the Hidden Leaf Village in disguise, make sure the Leaf doesn't send reinforcements to help their tailed beast."

The two looked at him as if he had lost his mind. Out of all of their years in Akatsuki, they never once encountered a village that would willingly help their Bijuu. Hell, they were _glad_ that Akatsuki took them off their hands!

"Regardless of what you two may think, we can't afford any surprises when it comes to the capture of the most powerful tailed beast. Remember that."

Hidan and Kakuzu turned their heads away slightly. Best to just go with what the leader says and argue later.

The darkened Leader looked around one last time. "You all know what to do, so DO IT! Do what you were all _born_ to do! Let loose, and do let the good times roll!"

The others stood silently to this slightly random outburst and would continue to stand for a few ten seconds.

"But then, what if…"

"DISMISSED!"

He swept his arm for emphasis, and a second later, the figures were gone, and the cavern was as quiet as it had been before they arrived…as if nothing had ever happened.

"Once in a while, just _once _in a while, I would like them to take their assignments seriously." The Leader mumbled irritably. "Now..." he pondered quietly to himself, holding his finger to his chin. "...where's a good place to start recruiting...?"

Look out, Konoha.

**A/N: 8/23/08, 10:00 pm: Right, so I went back and threw a few more parts in (apparently the first attempt at my first chapter ever was not at all good enough) to show that the Akatsuki are not the only characters in the story - and we have more characters coming. I strained not to get rejected by all of you just for the prologue. If you do not read on, I fear that you will never know what happens next.**

**I know what all of you are thinking. "That guy's just making the main characters do and say the same thing they did in the show and the manga! Hahaha...!" Well, yes. Twas my intention. This is what happens in the show _before_ Akatsuki comes after Naruto. Storyline is completely the same beforehand.**

**Oh, and if you were all hoping for romance on the first chapter of the story, sorry, but people do not necessarily grow a 'serious' relationship the first few minutes when they meet (if they did, then life would be more convenient). But do not fret - in time, you will all see…or rather…read. Good day. **


	2. Traveling

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

**Chapter 1: Traveling**

"Fuck this sucks! I'm so damn bored!" Hidan complained. "This...this _fucking sucks_ is what it does!!"

Team 'Akatsuki' was halfway to Konoha Forest, and considering the days it took and the time that they couldn't waste otherwise, they had not seen much action. It was merely constant jumping from cliff top, to tree, to tree, to cliff top. They had barely eaten anything or slept. Sleeping didn't seem to bother them, though, as most of them were insomniacs, but the fact that Hidan had been complaining since Day 1 didn't seem to lift their spirits too much.

"Quit bitching." Kakuzu responded. The others were glad that he had spoken up, so they wouldn't have to waste their breath that they were currently using to move so fast to tell him themselves. Also, it was Kakuzu's partner, not theirs, so why should they have to say anything at all?

"We've been moving for nearly one week straight! There's nothing to do, I'm pretty sure Jashin-sama is peeved at me for not having made sacrifices, which I should daily," everyone was rolling their eyes at this point. "And, to top it all off with a fat, fucking' cherry, I think I'm getting rashes from not having killed a person in so long!"

"Hey, you're immortal, aren't you? Suck it up, we're almost there." Kisame replied in annoyance at his constant jibbing.

"You said that three days ago." Sasori reminded him. "If there's one thing that pisses me off more than waiting (and keeping someone else waiting), it's someone who gives false timings for _how_ long we have to wait."

"Yes, yes…the usual complaint, huh, Master?" Deidara muttered, as he rode on his special, clay-formed bird.

Sasori scowled through his cowl, but kept moving. More than anything, he wished he had permission to extend that metallic tail he owned, and drill it through his teammate's head, but he didn't.

Itachi, who had not uttered a single word since their departure, did not even make eye contact with any of his companions. He stared straight ahead, almost as if he could see their destination from where they were at. He had one thing on his mind: get the mission done.

Kisame, his partner, looked back every now and then to make sure everyone was keeping up alright. He was almost reminded of the times that he had traveled alongside as one of the Seven Swordsmen of the Hidden Mist, but quickly pushed that thought way back. He had his reasons for leaving that team.

Zetsu was casually leaping, along with Hidan and Kakuzu, while Tobi seemed to skip along with it. Where does he withdraw his energy?

It was quiet for several minutes, as they continued to move. The space around them gave to whistling sound at the rate that they covered the land. Sure the waiting was boring, and the travel conditions were terrible, but they were actually getting by pretty fast in regards to where the gathering point _could _have been. They did not leave directly from the main base; they were communicating by seal projectors in the Chamber of Ten. They needed to meet up elsewhere before the mission could begin, and it was actually amazing at how close together the pairs were. Everything should proceed on time and as planned.

Suddenly, Tobi broke the long silence.

"Who here wants to play 'I-Spy'? Come on, show of hands! Who wants to play?"

It was going to be a long week.

* * *

That night, they stopped for the first time since they departed, and silently cursed their leader for not giving them the time to make decent preparations. They were no pushovers with the wilderness though, and in no time at all, they had created an entire campsite using the natural resources around them.

While Zetsu went to soak himself in the stream (yes, it is a plant thing), Tobi apparently following him, Itachi stood on the edge of the viewpoint, watching for bandits, or enemy shinobi that would seek to harm, or otherwise, report them. Most of the others stood behind and sat around the bonfire. Some of the members were chuckling slightly at Sasori, first looking at him, and then looking at the burning firewood.

"What the hell is so funny?"

They immediately cuffed their mouths, and looked away.

_'__They do this every damn time they see a bonfire and me in the same area…' _he thought to himself, glaring at his teammates, who were trying to hold themselves from laughing even more. _'...it's annoying.'_

"Sorry, master," Deidara answered, a wide grin spread across his face. "I fear that we just torched…your cousin, un!" The others, unable to hold it in any longer, burst out laughing at this. Ordinarily it would have been a pathetic thing to laugh at, but running at top speeds through forest and wasteland without stopping for days, you'll find yourself going a little crazy. And that is when _anything _seems funny.

"Ohhh, har-hardy-harr…" Sasori mocked them, getting up and ambling away inside of his puppet. "…bastards." He muttered.

Kisame saw him start to move away, and stopped laughing, but still bore his humored grin. "Aww, come on Sasori, don't be like that," he called out to the puppet master, as he shrunk in with the distance. "We were just kidding! We were just looking for something to laugh about!" Even with the face he wore, and that no one else would have guessed it, Kisame was being quite serious. He had always been the more understanding type when it came to his colleagues' unusual conditions. He didn't exactly look normal himself, after all; often referring to himself as 'strangely colored'.

Sasori turned his head back, and glared at him from out of the corner of his menacing eye as he continued to shuffle away. Apology unaccepted.

What did they know about sacrifices...of what it takes to get things done? In the very beginning, Sasori didn't choose to become the way that he was - it was the only way that Akatsuki would accept him. To get stronger. But over time, he grew to like the idea of never being able to feel pain...of never dying. What in Hell would it possibly take for them to understand?? Nothing. And Sasori could care less. He had already gotten used to being teased by his sense of immortality long ago; mostly from his effeminate partner, Deidara, and to some extent, that traitor Orochimaru while he worked alongside him. That's right... Sasori had agreed to himself at one point that he would never let anyone judge his characteristics again...or his pride in his work. He did, after all, feel nothing of it.

As he left the area, Zetsu came out past him. The cannibal slowly approached the camp to check in with the others.

He would have felt refreshed and all from his soaking in the stream, if not for the fact that Tobi followed behind…singing. While doing so, he had both of his index fingers pointed at Zetsu, and did a dance that would embarrass anyone who would witness it.

"_Oh, when he bangs, he bangs…oh baby, when he moves, he moves…I'm crazy cause he stings like a flytrap, but he looks like a tree…__"_

Zetsu closed his eyes wearily. _'Tobi... The travel conditions have reached the poor boy's head...'_

**_'We should eat him.'_**

_'How creative you are...'_

"Tobi, stop singing." Zetsu called from over his shoulder.

"_Like every plant in history…__"_

"Tobi, be quiet!" He spoke again, a little less patient than before.

"Hai, sensei!" Tobi responded, giving a soldier's salute.

It would take every ounce of energy reserved in Zetsu's chloroplasts not to eat this kid. He really didn't like the thought of killing people, but it's dangerous having dual personality.

Deidara walked up to them, still having a giggle fit from making fun of Sasori.

"Hey, Zetsu, did you see which direction our…little wooden friend headed off to?"

"I believe he blew right past us, just now." Zetsu pointed in the direction he came out of. "Let me guess…" he continued. He turned back to Deidara, and crossed his arms. "…you were making fun of him through means of a bonfire again, weren't you?"

"Maybe…yes!" Deidara responded, trying his best to hold back his laughter. "How did you know, hmm?"

"As I passed by him, I looked at his face, and saw his world famous 'I really feel like killing my partner right now' expression…you know, you really should keep it to a minimum…one of these days, he might just snap on you."

"Snap? It's a pun! Snap, or split, or break…" Deidara continued to jest, chuckling.

"Oh! Deidara-san! You arrived at just the right time!" Tobi cut in, and began a new song, this time, pointing at Deidara.

"_Dude, dude…dude looks like a lady. Dude, dude…dude looks like a lady…__"_

"Tobi, I'm going to kill you, h'n!" Deidara responded, his laughter gone and now had a rather unhappy look on his face.

"Oh, snap!"

He made an effort to reach and grapple Tobi, but he ducked under him, and raced behind Zetsu. He had his face, or otherwise, mask buried in Zetsu's cloak, and was gripping the fabric hard with both hands.

"Sempai, she frightens me!" He called out in a muffled voice, gripping the fabric even tighter. Zetsu winced in surprise at his companion's unexpectedly strong grip.

"_SHE?!" _Deidara responded with his face crinkled tightly with anger. He approached Tobi again, with the expression that he usually uses in the midst of obliterating someone with his C-4 clay.

"Make him stop, Zetsu-san, make him stop!!" Tobi cried out.

"**SHUT UP!! I'll kill both of you!"**

Tobi shot away from Zetsu like a rocket, knowing full well when his darker part had control. Unexpectedly, he darted behind Deidara, and followed the same procedure that he did earlier, trembling slightly more, now. Deidara was too freaked out now to even notice him. They both stared with eyes the size of dinner plates at Zetsu.

"I'm so sorry," Zetsu said at last. "…he gets a little worked up when we hear people yelling." He finished, obviously referring to his dark counterpart.

Deidara and Tobi slowly turned to look at each other, and then slowly turned to look back at Zetsu, their horrified expressions remaining the same at all times.

After staring for awhile, Zetsu just shrugged his shoulders (if that was at all possible) and continued off to the camp.

Deidara was the first to snap out of his expression, and turned to call back to the maneater.

"Where are you going? Leader-sama wants us to stay together as a big group."

"To sleep." Zetsu replied, not bothering to look back as he continued onward. "Leader-sama is just going to have to cope with the annoyingly disgusting fact that sleep deprivation comes with sprinting for an entire week, nonstop. And now..." He shifted his body halfway to peek his golden eyes through the fly trap jaws that now concealed his head. "...I am tired, and half of our squad is hysterical, if you haven't caught on. "

Deidara nodded, furrowing his lower lip into somewhat of a half-pout. He did indeed notice this. Hidan was taking his anger out on all the creatures of the forest, jogging through the path and waving his scythe around like a mental machine, and Kakuzu was counting over the group's stash of money fifteen times more than he usually does (he'll be at it for awhile), while muttering something both inaudible and unintelligent to anyone who came near him. With that said, he was still counting.

Kisame hadn't stopped smiling since they arrived, which was creepy aside from the fact that he didn't exactly have any way of giving a non-threatening smile, and every time someone would walk by, they couldn't help but look over their shoulder. He probably just did something that nobody would like to find out about.

Deidara turned his head to face the shivering being next to him.

And Tobi was just acting plain, freakin' weird. Singing like a crackhead while doing pelvis thrusts, and more disturbingly, pointing at people _while _doing pelvis thrusts. There is man, there is the primate, and then there is Tobi, who goes somewhere in between.

"Well can't you just go to sleep where you're at, hm?" Deidara asked.

Zetsu nodded. Being a mutated plant-being meant that you could do unrealistic feats like go to sleep while standing with jaws closed around your head for protection and to keep the light out. Zetsu had only done this on rare occasions around the other members, mostly because they hardly ever saw each other in person, and also because he didn't entirely trust sleeping around them. Even though they are his colleagues, they are still very unpredictable, and to some extent, unstable.

"I plan to, as soon as I check the briefings. I'm the only one who can really be trusted with documentations around here, namely _now _of all times. Then I'm going to find a dark place where no one could possibly find me."

Zetsu dominated at hide-and-seek. Obvious reasons. He wasn't appointed Akatsuki's main spy for nothing.

Deidara and Zetsu gave one simultaneous nod to each other, and Zetsu sank into the ground and formed a moving bulge in the earth, moving to his destination.

Deidara prepared to follow behind.

"Tobi." He spoke suddenly, causing the other figure behind him to finally jump from the paralyzed fear of what had happened with Zetsu. It was not ethical to be touching Zetsu while he was multi-persona shifting. He could have been eaten.

Tobi slowly turned his head to respond. "Hai...?" He creaked out sheepishly.

Deidara turned halfway to leer at the good boy with one crazy eye as he spoke through his uniform's neckband. "You had better keep an eye open, and it had better be the right one, through the socket in your mask."

* * *

Itachi was still at his viewpoint spot, looking straight ahead at their destined direction. Dawn was breaking. He had not slept, nor eaten, nor made any effort to socialize with his comrades. Sasori ambled up slowly next to him, and joined him to help him with the lookout. Neither one spoke to the other for the first fifteen minutes. Birds chirped to greet the morning sun that began to stretch over the horizon as they looked on overhead. Their destination lie before them; Konoha Forest was there. Tall trees stood proud beyond the canyon border that cut into Fire Country. The two just stared on ahead. If they were at all impressed by the brilliant colors of the sunrise radiating upon the land and sky, they certainly didn't show it.

Then Sasori, being the bored and impatient person that he was, decided to break the silence.

"So…" he began, struggling to find a subject that would interest him. "Your brother…he's going to Orochimaru on his own free will, huh?"

Itachi gave him a side glance, and then answered. "…Yeah…apparently…"

"Isn't he the one who…?"

"Yeah."

"…Do you want me to-"

"No."

"Hmph. Fine."

Guess that was a red wire.

Neither one spoke again for another fifteen minutes. Suddenly, Itachi muttered something illegible to anyone else's ears.

"Did you say something?" Sasori asked, turning his body to look at him.

"…sound shinobi…three of them…two leading…one taking up the rear…a boy with silver hair…with what appears to be a second head growing out of his back…a girl with red hair and a cap…and a man with six arms… They take turns carrying something…some kind of package…"

Sasori was astounded at his companion's perception. He continued to stare at him, at the eyes he was using.

"I heard that the Mangekyo Sharingan was actually supposed to impede sight, and promote blindness…how is it that your perception is so good?"

Itachi pointed down below the cliff. Sasori leaned forward for a better look. Sure enough, three shinobi ran along the cliffs below, and were holding some wooden device.

"Oh…" Sasori responded, eyes wide.

"Come on…" Itachi said, preparing to sprint. "…we've got to warn the others."

Sasori nodded in reluctant agreement, and the two shot off in the opposite direction.

* * *

"Keh!" Hidan scowled at the squirrel that he caught in the wilderness, and was now preparing to sacrifice with his dagger.

He had a triangle in circle symbol, the seal of Jashin, which he made with his own blood, on the ground, where he held the squirrel with one arm pinning it down. The squirrel was furiously making an attempt to escape, resorting to biting and scratching his hand, which caused him to grip the rodent even tighter.

"You little shit…" He grumbled. He closed his eyes tight, in prayer to his dark god, but the struggling and thrashing of the damn animal made things even more difficult. He prepared to make a precise incision on the squirrel.

"I can't believe that I have to resort to using a forest rodent as a sacrifice to Jashin-sama. There must be _some_ mortal meat around here…" He continued. "…a bandit…a traveler, a shinobi that wants to kill me!"

"If you're going to kill that thing, then do it already." Kakuzu said, cutting him off.

Kakuzu, who had been polishing his masks and checking the hearts inside for any damage or filth, looked over at the squirrel that now seemed to be crying that it's life was going to end so gruesomely.

"Put the poor thing out of its misery, before I start crying myself."

"Fiiiiiiine…" Hidan rolled his eyes, and raised the dagger higher. Then, he brought it down with devastating speed.

-chink-

"..."

"Aww, sick!!"

* * *

Deidara, and Tobi were both walking back to the campground, when two blotches darted right past them, leaving the two spinning to the ground, and dizzy. Zetsu calmly stared down at them, and then back up at the direction the two figures dashed through, blinking several times with bright, glowing, golden orbs for eyes.

"Wha…what the hell…?" Deidara stuttered, as he held his head in place to shake off the dizziness.

Itachi and Sasori were now leaping through the trees at full speed. Sasori turned his head and called back. "Turns out the action is closer than we thought - we've got targets! Come on! Quit screwing around! We have to gather the others and move, before they're out of our reach!"

The three nodded, and sprinted with equally fast speed in the same direction.

_'So much for a good day sleep...'_

**_'You are not a vampire. If you want to complain, complain about not having a feeding in so long...speaking of which, I'm hungry.'_**

_'I thought you just said that we weren't vampires.'_

They were nearing the camp now, and another blotch jumped in right next to the others, going in the same direction.

"Hey guys, you know, you missed out on our 'sacrifice' episode…" Kisame stated, grinning and revealing his sharp teeth.

"Oh! Oh! I love episodes!" Tobi exclaimed, clapping his hands together rapidly. The others wondered where the hell he had come from, but all the same, they decided to ignore him. Same old Tobi...having his..._episodes_.

"We gotta get moving! Those sound nins have showed up, and we don't want to lose them! Hidan and Kakuzu are still at the campsite, right?!"

Kisame nodded. "I went ahead to look for all of you, to warn you it was time to head out, but I guess we have even more of a reason now, eh?"

"Have we even been doing anything proactive this whole stay?!"

"There they are!"

They came to a clearing from the trees, and jumped down directly in front of the two. Hidan was licking his sacrificial dagger clean of blood, and Kakuzu was counting all of the ryo, to make sure none of the money got left behind.

"Hey guys – killed a squirrel." Hidan stated, holding up the remains.

The other members sweat-dropped at the sight, but quickly shook it off.

"We have to go! GO NOW!" Sasori repeated this for a third time, and everyone could see that it was starting to annoy him…a lot.

"B-But...it's still bleeding out!" Hidan complained.

"Quit. Screwing. Around." Sasori replied, deathly serious. "We found the enemy."

"Eh?"

"That's right…" Itachi explained. "…three of them, and they're carrying something that must have some value to them, or perhaps…to the traitor…it must be Sasuke…"

"So let's get to it! The fun is about to begin!" Hidan shouted as he held up his three-sickled scythe, waving it in the air.

They nodded to each other, and disappeared in a flash instant, leaving their camp behind. For the first time in what seemed like so many weeks, they were finally going to see some action.

* * *

The three sound nins were nearing the border now. Now out of the canyon, they were leaping through the trees at quick speeds. Sakon and Tayuya held the front, and Kidomaru held the wooden barrel with relative ease, using four of his six arms to support it. It was nearing dusk, and they knew that they had to arrive soon, before their lord lost any patience with them that he had before.

"Tch! What's taking that fat-ass so long?!" Tayuya asked with much impatience.

"Dunno," Sakon replied. "But all that matters is getting the kid to Orochimaru as soon as possible, or we're all going to have it, big time."

"But he seriously didn't get beaten by those snot-nosed Leafs, right?" Kidomaru asked, frantically worrying for his best friend. "He honestly had to pull through, right?!"

"Don't know, don't fucking care. We need to go on, without him if necessary." Tayuya replied, still bounding through the trees with the others.

"Both of you just relax." Sakon said with a calm tone. "We're near the border, and near a job well done. It's gonna take a lot more than a few measly genin to stop us now."

The others never shifted from their serious expressions. There was something in the wind…something in their minds that told them that the mission was not quite over yet.

* * *

A few minutes behind, was the Sasuke Retrieval Squad. Choji, one of the team members, had stayed behind to fight, with what the Sound Four considered their weakest member, Jiroubou. The others sprang through the trees, trying ever harder to reach the border before the enemy did.

"Come on guys," Kiba shouted with excitement. "Their scent is getting heavier! We're getting close!"

"You don't have to tell _me_ twice!" Naruto shouted with a fire in his eyes. "I'm not about to let them get away with Sasuke!!"

"Calm down," Shikamaru said in his usually relaxed voice. "Don't get too riled up, or it could mean the end for us…"

"What are you talkin' about?! We've gotta speed up, or we've lost them!" Naruto responded, outraged that their squad leader did not seem serious about catching up to Sound."

"Neji," Shikamaru turned his head to the Hyuuga clan member, completely disregarding Naruto's complaint. "How far are they?"

Neji responded by closing his eyes tightly. **"Byakugan!"**

In an instant, his eyes lit up, and eye veins covered his face.

"Approximately five hundred yards away, moving slightly slower than us, of course."

Shikamaru turned away from Neji, and looked straight on again. _'Something's not right…'_ Shikamaru thought to himself. _'Why do they seem so cocky…? They haven't set any traps for a while now, but I know that they're smart enough to expect interference since their previous comrade hasn't returned to them yet.' _Shikamaru closed his eyes. _'A drag. This whole thing is such a drag…'_ He opened them again.

"Well…we're gaining…that's a plus, I guess…" he stated, his expression not changing from the usual.

As they continued on, Naruto got more and more of an unnerving look on his face. He bared his teeth to reveal strong, sharp canine fangs - and his hair looked increasingly ruffled. He would do whatever it takes to get his longtime friend back from the coils of the snake, Orochimaru.

"There! I see them! They're right there, in front of us!!" Kiba shouted, an excited smile caused him to show his full set of sharp fangs.

"I see em' too…" Shikamaru's usually lazy face became a lot more serious one. "…get ready, guys!"

They nodded simultaneously, and drew their kunai. The enemy was, indeed, in view. The three sound nins continued to leap through, their purple, bow-tie belts, vibrantly visible, and so was the barrel that Kidomaru carried on his shoulders. Suddenly the three enemy shinobi stopped abruptly, and as the leaf genin continued to watch, Kidomaru threw the barrel out from over his shoulders, and it was then caught by Sakon. Then Kidomaru turned in his comrades' opposite direction, and sped towards the surprised leaf genin. In the timing of only a few seconds, he was already on a branch, right in front of them.

"So, the Leaf has come to play, eh?" He smirked at the group, who returned it with glares. "I guess the least I can do is play at least _one_ game with you little children." He crossed four of his six arms, and continued to smile.

Naruto, who was still baring his teeth, was now growling loud enough for everyone to hear. "Grrrr!! Out of my way!!" He shouted at the spider-like shinobi, who gave him a somewhat annoyed look. Naruto sprang at him with killing intent. What he did not expect was a mouth full of sticky spider webbing that sprang out of Kidomaru's mouth in retaliation, knocking Naruto to a tree, and pinning him to it.

"Naruto!" Kiba shouted. As he looked back, he saw that Neji had already activated his Byakugan, and was in the act of leaping up to the web that held Naruto captive. Then, with a swift motion strike from the tips of his fingers, cut the webbing, allowing Naruto to drop to the ground. Naruto then faced back up to Kidomaru, who had a look of surprise on his face.

"You…you bastard!" Naruto shouted up at him.

"Well…you're certainly welcome…" Neji muttered, hearing no 'thank you' from the teammate he just freed.

"How…?" Kidomaru asked, his face still full of shock at what just happened. "…how did you cut the webbing? That stuff is supposed to be near indestructible from the loads of chakra I've pumped into it…"

Neji smiled. "Well, to put it simply, my special blood limit, the Byakugan, gives me the ability to see chakra, and even moreover, the ability to neutralize any chakra-based attack. Your webbing is helpless against me." He continued to grin up at his thrown off opponent.

Suddenly, Kidomaru threw one of his hands up onto his head in realization. "I can't believe I didn't catch that before." He said, a grin spreading across his face. "The Hyuuga clan. Lord Orochimaru had us study all about you and your techniques. But it's still not enough to win the game with _me_. I'm one of Orochimaru's elites."

Neji grin turned to a frown at this remark. "Don't underestimate the Hyuuga clan's techniques. Shikamaru…" he gave his squad leader a side glance. "…take the others and go…I will teach this one…what happens when someone mocks the Hyuuga clan."

"Are you sure? The guy looks powerful." Shikamaru called up, having half a mind to stay behind and fight with him.

"Yes, I am sure! Now get a move on, before it's too late!"

"B-But Neji..." Naruto protested feebly.

"Naruto." Neji responded grinning over to him. "Sometimes your eyes are even better than mine."

Naruto gave him a surprised look, not knowing exactly what he meant.

"Sasuke is in the darkness... Only you can save him now."

Naruto nodded hesitantly.

The he jumped back with the others, and together with them, they bolted off.

"Oh, no you _don't!_" Kidomaru shouted from behind. He then proceeded to fill his mouth with his chakra-imbued webbing. Leaning back slightly, he shot a long rope in their direction, which quickly unfolded into a large net. Before it could reach its destined targets, however, Neji jumped in the way, and throwing his arms out in a vertical cut movement, he completely shredded the webbing.

"Not good enough!" Neji called down at the now scowling shinobi.

Then, Kidomaru's scowl slowly developed into a grin. "…Fine then…on second thought, maybe I will stick around and play a game with you…" Kidomaru said smugly. "…although, I'm pretty sure you're gonna be the one who does the _'sticking'_ once I'm through with you!!"

"Come!" Neji replied, his Byakugan now activated.

The two jumped at each other, and clashed.

* * *

"Okay, now this is getting pretty damn ridiculous!" Tayuya exclaimed. She and Sakon were still on the same route, through the trees. "Two members now off-course, because of some freakin' leaf genin!!"

Sakon looked at her from the side, his eyes narrowed in annoyance of her constant complaints. "Have a bit of heart, Tayuya. Those two love playing around with their enemies before they finish them."

"Well I wish the morons wouldn't!" She continued, her voice not even giving a hint of calming down from what it was before – much to Sakon's dismay. "Not now, not while we're on a mission!"

Sakon sighed, knowing full well that there was nothing he could do to calm the angry red-head down. They continued to leap through the trees, hoping that their luck would change for the better. This was completely disregarded, however, as they looked back and saw the leaf genin once again closing in on them.

"Tch! Wonderful! Super! Terrific! Fan-fucking-tastic!" Tayuya was hysterical as they darted forward, evermore.

"Settle down, Tayuya…" Sakon replied. "…I'll take care of this." Without further hesitation, he lifted the barrel off of his backside/Ukon, and threw it to her. She caught it, and shot onward. Sakon shot the opposite direction, activating his cursed seal while doing so. The squad barely saw this coming in time, and made a sharp stop, as he did.

"Guess it's up to me then, huh, you leaf trash?" Sakon taunted them.

Kiba wouldn't stand to be called trash any longer. He grind his teeth together, and then picked up his dog, Akamaru. While putting him on the ground, he reached inside his pouch, and pulled out two tiny food pills. He threw one to his dog.

"I've had enough of this…let's go, Akamaru!" He shouted to his dog.

"Arf!" The dog responded.

With that, it became an exact replica of Kiba, and jumped on to his back. Then, they both did hand symbols and jumped up.

"Take this! **Gatsuga: Dual Piercing Fang!!**"

"Huh?! What?!" Sakon responded with a wide-eyed expression.

Kiba and Akamaru soon shifted into a silver jet as they shot towards Sakon. With all of the haste that he had, Sakon jumped up from the branch, and just narrowly dodged the brunt of the attack. Even so, the force that sped past him was so great, that it knocked him backwards, and broke the branch that he had been standing on. Then the three of them tumbled into a ravine that under looked the border.

"Kiba! Akamaru!" Naruto shouted from the side, but was helpless to do anything as they fell through the endless chasm.

"Leave them, Naruto!" Shikamaru grabbed his arm. "We have to focus on getting Sasuke back, or all this will have been for nothing." Naruto closed his eyes tightly, but knew deep down that Shikamaru was right. "Chouji…Neji…Kiba…they all knew the risks before they started this mission, and so did we! All we have to do is keep at this, and hope for the best…for all of them."

Naruto, with his eyes still shut, just nodded, and the two leapt forward, after the last enemy…and after Sasuke.

* * *

Tayuya was on her own now.

As she leapt through the trees, holding the casket firmly on her back, something caught her eye.

Shinobi. Three of them, positioned side-by-side on the same branch, standing right smack in the middle of her path. She could instantly tell that these weren't ordinary ones either. Her eyes narrowed on the headbands that each of them wore; there were long scars going through each one, horizontally. These were rouge ninja. They each had cloaks as black as the void, and red clouds that detailed each one. They also wore their wicker hats, so she could not see faces clearly.

Although she was headed right in their direction at full speed, the three were completely still…calm…waiting for her to stop. Which she did. She quickly set the barrel down right next to her, on the same branch, and took a defensive stance. Sasori, Itachi, and Kakuzu all had emotionless looks on their faces. Then slowly, they lifted their heads to look at her, and then turned their heads to look at each other, as if to say: 'is she being serious?' Tayuya reached into her pouch and took out her demon flute, which caused them to slowly turn back to her.

"So what do you assholes want?" She sneered.

They paused for a moment, as if to reflect on what she was asking. Itachi then spoke up. "The Jinchuuriki…where is the Jinchuuriki…?"

She raised her eyebrows. "I have…no idea…what the hell you are trying to ask me right now."

"Not talking, eh?" Kakuzu responded, removing his hat. "Then I guess we'll just have to beat it out of ya!" The three of them, as if on cue, simultaneously leapt one branch towards Tayuya.

"Yeah, I-I'd like to see you try…" she threatened, holding her flute near her lips.

"I'd like to see you try…TO ESCAPE!!" Kakuzu shouted as he leapt toward her with murder in his eyes. Tayuya was shocked at how fast he was gaining on her. She didn't even have enough time to summon her Doki. It was all she could do to survive his attack.

-SMACK!-

He was sent flying backwards by an unknown force. He caught a branch nearby as he flew back, and flipped on to it. "Wh-who the hell…is cheap enough to attack from out of the clearing like that?!" Kakuzu complained, throwing his arms everywhere in frustration.

"Well…for starters…a ninja would." Kakuzu glared back at Sasori, whom he had heard say this.

A figure jumped down from one of the higher branches, and landed right next to Tayuya. He had silverish hair, and wore an outfit similar to hers. "You're too late, Tayuya." Kimimaro stated.

"H-How?? You were already…" Tayuya responded, her voice stuttering slightly. "...Kimimaro!"

He leaned over her. "I no longer move by physical means…" he explained. "I now move by sheer willpower." He picked up the barrel right next to them. "I'll watch over the vessel…you dispose of them." He pointed towards the Akatsuki. They reacted by slowly turning their heads again to stare at each other.

"…vessel…?" Itachi responded. He looked straight on, as Kimimaro darted away with his brother. He then prepared to sprint after him. This did not go unnoticed by the others.

"Hey, wh-where are you going?!" Kakuzu asked in disbelief. "Didn't you want to take part in the big bashing?" He asked, pointing towards Tayuya. She scowled in response.

"No thanks." Itachi looked back at him. "…there's another one waiting for me, elsewhere…" With that, he leapt off in Kimimaro's direction.

"Uh!" Tayuya grunted in surprise at his lightning-quick speed. Tightening her hand into a fist, she jumped up in an attempt to punch him back away. She was quite unsuccessful, however, as her knuckles seemed to phase right through him, as if he were a phantom. Her eyes widened in reaction. As she landed, Itachi sped right passed her, leaving her, along with the others. By the time she turned around to retaliate, he was out of her reach, and long gone.

She turned back to the other two. "Keh! Just what the hell are you bastards, anyway?!"

Unknown to anyone else, Sasori was grinning. His puppet's artificial jaws and teeth clicked noisily together as he continued to leer at the girl. Suddenly, he made a ninety degree turn to look at Kakuzu, making a loud, creaking sound as he did so.

"Hey, teammate…why don't you follow Itachi and that other bastard. I want this fight for myself. She's mine."

"Uhh…are you quite sure…?" Kakuzu asked, rubbing his head.

"Just shut up, and do as I say. There's nothing I would rather do more than to clear the conscience of a terribly confused girl of what she's up against." Sasori turned back to Tayuya, who flinched in reaction.

As Kakuzu shot towards Tayuya's general direction, she made another effort to dash towards him and stop his progress. As she threw her punch this time, however, Sasori, inside of his puppet, jumped right in between them, and absorbed her blow. As her knuckle made contact with his thick, hard torso, she let out a brief shout in pain, and leapt back onto her branch, clutching her hand, and swearing under her breath. That would be the second guy who slipped past her today.

"Why don't you do me a favor and let him go for now." She turned back to the huge figure a few meters away.

"Tch!" She responded through her teeth.

"But don't worry…" He continued, as he creaked his joints thoroughly. "…I promise to keep you entertained for as long as possible."

"You damn rat! No one screws around with me and lives!" She shouted back at him.

"No one screws around with you and lives - _so far._" He corrected her.

"We'll see…" she muttered under her breath, as she held the flute up to her lips again.

"Good…good…let's have some FUN!"

**A/N: And there you have it! Please review…I am just getting warmed up, so please let me know that you acknowledge my work. It would mean much to me. **


	3. To Each His Own Battle pt 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

**Chapter 2: To Each His Own Battle pt. 1**

The flutist and the puppeteer leered at each other from the two trees that seemed to oppose each other. Tayuya, with her flute ready, was watching Sasori…daring him to make a move. He thought little of this, however, as he saw her as almost zero threat. His vessel provides an exceptional arsenal of weaponry, giving him good attacks at long range, and good protection at short range. There was nothing that _he_ should be worried about.

The silence began to bore him, so he spoke up to further antagonize her to make the first move.

"You think that you have a chance…?" He looked her over. She continued to hold the flute to her lips. It was clear that she was trying her best to ignore him, so he made a low blow. "By the time the day is done, your teammates…all of your teammates will be dead." He clicked his head as he turned to her. She continued to glare at him, and he could vaguely see that while her fingertips were on the flute, she raised a certain finger to him. "…And the part that gets me the most is that there's nothing you can do for them now. All you can do, for a time, is to do your best to stay alive long enough to hope for the hopeless…" His body creaked loudly as he leaned his head in forward, keeping eye-contact with the increasingly flustered kunoichi. "…that your mission was a success."

"You're delusional, you stupid fucking bastard." She responded, cutting him off. "Me and my comrades are not to be screwed with. Can you even begin to imagine the number of people like you we killed? People that _I_ killed?! People like you, who thought they were something special." She cracked an evil grin at him, whose expression would remain the same. "Not special enough, I guess."

"I could actually _prove_ to you, the small fraction of the people that I had scuffled with. Two hundred and nineteen bodies, if you want an exact number. Two hundred and nineteen of thousands." He explained to her. Even though no one would guess, he had a sealing scroll with him containing the bodies of a hundred people, in the forms of the puppets that killed for him. "You on the other hand, have no proof."

She shook her head slowly, throwing off what he had been saying. "Why don't you show me now then, huh, hard-ass?" She smirked at him. "You either have dozens of corpses under there…or you just need to work out…a lot."

He returned the smirk. "Maybe if I think you're worth the time, I might." Tayuya raised an eyebrow at what he was telling her. "Maybe if I find you an opponent worthy enough, I'll allow this to be the last thing that graces your vision, but that's assuming that you can at least cause me to break a sweat...huh, as if…" He smiled at the irony that he would never be able to sweat, no matter what she did.

"Careful what you wish for, fatass." She said, still smirking. "This little Melody of Death that I'll play for you," she held up her flute in front of her. "…will be the last thing that ever graces your ears!"

"Play it for me."

With that, she began playing a strange assortment of notes on her demon flute. Strange sound waves emanated from the instrument as her fingers gently struck each key along the bar. Something appeared ever slowly out from the background. It was faint at first, but then started to get more and more real. Sasori counted three shapes. As they fully developed, he cocked his head to the side, making a clicking sound at what he saw.

Demons. Three troll-like monsters hunched over Tayuya. Their mouthpieces stitched up, and their eyes not visible under the bandages that each of them had draped around them. One demon had a huge club, and long hair that he had concealing his face. Another had bones strapped to his arms. And the last one did not have any arms visible, as he was completely wrapped in bandages. Over and all, a rather brute force stood in front of the puppet master.

_'__I see…'_ Sasori thought to himself. _'She uses her misguiding appearance as an advantage. She would look just like any other defenseless little girl otherwise, but those three monsters that she keeps sure do make up for what brawn this bitch lacks…' _Despite this, Sasori grinned all the more.

"That's a cute little tune, kid. But I don't really fancy myself a tenor." She scowled at him, but continued playing notes.

The demons that were once completely still, began twitching. And then, as if on cue with the notes, they jumped at Sasori. He closed his eyes and sighed. "Too direct."

His metal tail lashed out of his backside, and he impaled all three of the Doki at the same time, not moving otherwise. The way his one tail stuck through all three of them, they looked like some sort of necklace; the demons being the beads, and his tail being the lace.

"Uh!" Tayuya grunted at the sudden loss of her three game pieces. "H-How?!"

"Surprised?" He looked up at her. "Yes...yes I suppose you would be..." He let out a cruel, creeping, slow-paced chuckle.

She growled at him with severe frustration. Just who the hell did he think he was? She began to activate her cursed seal. Jagged markings stretched all over her body.

"Hey, what's happening to you? Are you getting sick or something…?" Sasori asked half-heartedly.

"You obviously have a problem with the word _'curtesy_'. Allow me to enlighten you...excruciatingly painfully!" She played a few notes from her flute, and as the sound waves passed over her fallen minions, they began to get up again. The wide gashes in their chests from the jabbing attack Sasori had greeted them with had slowly began to dissipate, becoming smaller and smaller, until they had disappeared altogether. Then, each of them got back into their attacking stance.

"More blood for me to spill? How thoughtful." He turned again to the Doki. "I hope you children have learned something from the last time I killed you."

They groaned in response.

"I have, actually... Heh! Lucky shot for your first try…" Tayuya responded. "I carry a little more than just one trick… Try this on for size, tubby!!"

She played her flute again, facing her Doki. They slowly began to tremble, as if responding to the tune. Then, their mouths began to peel open, their stitches unlaced, and three blue entities began to flow out of them. They had what appeared to be mouths with sharp teeth, hungry and drooling at the puppet master. His head cracked to the side.

"I'll enjoy this. You, well…not so much!!" She shouted. She laughed evilly as the three entities spread out towards him.

For finalization, Sasori stuck his tail through one of the spirits, and seeing as that he had was right that it passed right through, he quickly pulled it back. "Cute…" With this, he shot his tail to forward towards the Doki, but this time, right before he reached them, he made a sharp turn with it, and severed the branches that kept each of them up instead. But Tayuya saw right through this, and playing a few sudden changes in her melody, they each jumped back before they fell along too.

"Isn't it a little _too_ obvious that direct attacks won't work on me…?" Sasori seemed to complain.

"These aren't direct attacks…" Tayuya corrected him, snickering.

Sasori looked around, and sure enough, one of the strange blue entities was right there, waiting for him. It was sticking out of the base of a tree near him, and he quickly wondered why this was so. He quickly reminded himself of how his weapon had passed right through them before, giving them an apparent 'ethereal' state of being. It launched toward him, and took a big bite, but to Tayuya's surprise, it seemed to have no effect on the mysterious man. It was intended to take a bite out of his chakra pool…why wasn't it working?

Sasori quickly jumped from the branch he was on, to one further away from the two specters. He turned around to face her and sat there on his branch, patiently, perched like a bird.

"How was that possible?! That hungry soul should have left you dry of chakra! How is it that it didn't ingest any?" Tayuya questioned him.

"Was that what it was supposed to do…? Maybe it's because you're just not as good as you thought…?" He suggested smugly, which caused her to growl at him. "It's getting awfully stuffy down here." He continued. "I can't kill you in a creative way if we just keep exchanging blows in such a closed-in area… This is pointless. Let's take the ecstasy to new heights."

Before Tayuya could react, Sasori was already in the midst of jumping up the tree, branch by branch, and she was amazed at how agile he was in that big, bloated body of his. Jirobo couldn't pull that off, for damn certain. She scoffed up at him, and began jumping up to meet him at the top of the towering trees.

* * *

Two familiar figures stood meters away from each other, both of them were panting heavily. Chouji and Jirobo had been brawling with each other for an hour now, and neither was making any headway. However, neither one was willing to back down from the other, which was easy to believe in a life-death situation. Jirobo had his cursed seal activated, but had not yet advanced to Cursed Seal Level 2, and Chouji was on his last food pill, none other than the red one. Jirobo attempted to speak, but found he was unable to, needing to save all of his breath for breathing.

"Well, well…" A voice crept out of the dark woods behind them. "Look at what I found; meals big enough to feed all of my friends at the same time! I struck a buffet!"

They narrowed their eyes hard to see a figure with two beady, white eyes. This was all the time they had, however, as out of nowhere, a giant wave of water ripped through the trees and knocked both of them away with the tide. When it died down, the figure stepped out of the area where there had once been trees, before the small, rather sudden tsunami. The assailant walked towards the two big shinobi that were now kneeling and choking at the sudden intake of cold salt water. With his greatsword at hand, he threw it over his back, and stopped right in front of them. "How sad…" he stared down at the two, obviously exhausted campaigners. "I was hoping for more of a sporting meal. That's how they like to feed, you know, with the prey putting up a fight."

They both stared up at him, wincing in pain, but glaring none the less. "And just who the…hell…are you…?" Jirobo asked, gasping for air as he did.

The opposing figure, Kisame, did his famous grin, revealing all sharp teeth. "I'm not interested in introductions," he started. "Just getting my friends fed." He quickly slaps his palms together in a ninjutsu pose.

"**Suiton: Bakusui Shoha! (Water Release: Exploding Water Shockwave!)"**

Another tsunami stretched to the sky from the background, destroying another few columns of trees. As it chased after the two shinobi, they dashed away to escape it. While not succeeding to evade the attack altogether, they did manage to avoid taking the brunt of it, where the water hit the land hardest. They focused the remains of their chakra to stand on the water, and try their best to avoid debris coming in with the current. A few of the larger parts of trees met up with them at times, only to be punched into splinters before they could impact. As soon as they got the chance, the two looked around the area in horror at what the water nin had done: he had turned the whole area around them into an aquatic ruin. Water was everywhere.

When the current stopped, yet another wave shot up, much like a geyser, but this time, it did not charge them. Instead, Kisame launched himself to the top, and stood on it, getting a clear view of the area below. Where there was once forest, there was now a vast lake.

"Eh, heh, heh! Come on boys! Chow time!"

He once again slaps his palms together. This time, when he did, he immediately put one of his palms on the surface of the wave he was standing on. **"Suiton: Goshokuzame! (Water Release: Five Eating Sharks!)"**

The two opposing shinobi immediately looked to see a gigantic blue shark shoot down from Kisame's wave and into the larger body of water to meet them.

"First meal!" Kisame shouted, his voice echoing from high above.

The shark launched at them at terrifying speed, scraping the surface of the water as the huge creature approached them, mouth wide open. It came at Jiroubou, the bigger of the two opponents, which would obviously make a bigger meal. As it shot out of the water to take a bite, Jiroubou threw one furious punch, so fast that it was blurry, and punched the fish right on the nose. The shark flew several meters back, and smashed into a large tree, collapsing with it.

"Second meal!" Another shark came at them. This time it took a different approach; going after Chouji instead.

_'__I only have enough chakra for one blow. I don't want to resort to using…the last pill…not yet!'_ Chouji thought to himself, while concentrating on the giant predator coming his way.

"**Bubun Baika no Jutsu: Cho Harite! ****(Partial Multi-Size Technique: Mega Palm Thrust!)"**

Chouji's entire arm extended, and with chakra funneling through his hand, he brought his whole arm down, and smashed the shark down all the way through the water, making a gigantic splash as he did so. When his arm returned to normal, Chouji lost his footing on the water surface almost instantly. He had no chakra left to spare, and he made a big splash as he fell through the surface into the water. He used his remaining energy to struggle through the water to a large piece of wooden debris in the water to help him float. Kisame grinned at this. He knew that any backbone that they still had couldn't last forever.

"Third meal!"

Another shark made its way to the struggling leaf nin with killing (and eating) intent. The water splashed noisily as it shot through the water. As it opened its gigantic mouth, revealing multiple daggers of teeth inside, Chouji closed his eyes tight at what would be his last few seconds of living that he had left.

But then something peculiar happened.

The splashing…all that loud splashing had died out, and Chouji slowly opened one eye to see what had happened. His jaw dropped as he saw something quite unexpected.

Jiroubou was in between him and the shark - the shark that had apparently been only a few feet away from getting to him. Jiroubou had the shark by its jaws, and the mouth was hung wide open. Trying his absolute hardest, Jiroubou struggled to turn his head around to face Chouji, while battering with the gigantic fish at the same time. "Don't look at me like that, brat…" he began. "Don't think that I'm…doing this for you…I'm doing this…for me! It'll take both…of us to…take this guy out." He turned back to the animal that he was struggling to keep at bay. "Come on, kid! You can't be out of chakra yet! Get up and help!!" Despite the shock that his arch-enemy, whom he had been fighting for what seemed like a day, had saved his life, Chouji threw himself from the log he had clung to, and grabbed the shark's tail. This caused the angry creature to struggle even more, and it was all the two could do in their weakened states to keep it in one place.

Kisame saw this as excellent opportunity to release another water shark.

"Fourth meal!"

Another shark flew at them, but they saw this one coming, and thinking quick, they both waited for the right timing. They soon got it, as the shark approaching them opened its maw. Then, as if both of the shinobi were thinking the same thing, they slung the shark that they had into its brother, who took a gigantic, accidental bite. Both of them disappeared in a puff of bubbles.

"Fifth and final meal!" The last shark coming at them was as big as a whale.

"Oh shit!" Both of the shinobi exclaimed simultaneously. The shark opened its mouth so wide, that two trucks could fit inside. Both of the nins jumped to opposite sides to avoid the gaping hole that attempted to swallow them. As they both landed in the water, a gigantic crash was heard from behind them, even from underwater. When they reached the waters surface and took a deep breath, they looked behind them. The leviathan was no longer there; instead, there was a huge crater in the ground, where it evidently landed.

"Heh, heh, heh, heh!" Kisame laughed as he descended from his wave, and lowered the water level.

Now, they were right back where they started – in ankle-deep water, except now, the two were panting louder than ever, whiles Kisame wasn't at all.

"That was fun!" Kisame continued. "Looks like I underestimated…" His expression suddenly turned serious. "…but rest assured, you two, that won't happen again."

"You're ready to get serious…good…" Jiroubou commented.

"Because so are we…" Chouji added.

Kisame continued to grin, readying his greatsword. He pointed it at them. The two were unimpressed. It didn't even look sharp. But then their eyes widened at what they saw. The gauze over the seemingly harmless sword began to unravel by itself, revealing a very unusual looking surface – jagged instead of smooth.

"This is my greatsword, Samehada. Say hello, Sam."

Immediately after he said this, he threw one, extremely swift, vertical slice at the gigantic tree next to him right down the middle. Acting as a saw, except much quicker, and in one sweep, the sword bit through base, and seconds later, the great tree split in two. Wooden chips flew everywhere, and Chouji and Jiroubou shielded their faces to prevent damage.

"In case you haven't noticed, my sword doesn't cut…it shaves."

The two glared back at him. _'Damn it!'_

"Heh!" Kisame did a quick ninjutsu hand sign. **"Mizu Bunshin no Jutsu! (Water Clone Technique!)"**

Water gathered together from out of the limitless lake to form a duplicate of Kisame. There was now two of the enemy.

_'__This is insane! The guy has such a high chakra level…I have no choice. I can't afford to take a chance with that sword, so…time to go to Cursed Seal Level 2!'_

His cursed seal markings began to glow a bright orange. Jiroubou's skin became a dark red color, and his hair grew out. His pupils turned a golden color, his sclera becoming a shining black.

"Interesting." Kisame smirked.

_'__Who…what is he?!' _ Chouji thought, staring at him with a horrified expression. _'Well, if we're gonna get serious about getting serious, I guess I'll use my trump card too.'_ He reached into his weapons pouch._ 'No better time like the present! I can't let Shikamaru down!'_

Chouji takes out the red pill from the canister, and puts it in his mouth, biting down on it. The space around Chouji seemed to twist and turn, like an angry current. His chakra, now a raging blue flame, swirled around him ceaselessly. The other two gazed in amazement at how much weight he appeared to have lost because of it! He was almost a completely different person! His chakra gathered around his back and formed what appeared to be butterfly wings.

'_Damn,'_ Jiroubou thought, bewildered. _'Maybe it really is best that I posed that temporary alliance…'_ He quickly cast that thought aside, and turned back to face Kisame(s).

"TIME FOR YOU TO GO!!" Chouji and Jiroubou shouted simultaneously at the water nin, who had a very brief look of fear on his face.

Chouji disappeared and reappeared behind Kisame and his water clone, moving not by teleportation techniques, but by blinding speed. Chouji drove his fist into the torso of one of the two, instantly destroying the clone. It burst into thousands of tiny water droplets. He then threw a kick at the other one, who blocked the powerful blow with his weapon. The force of the kick, however, was so great, that Kisame stumbled backwards, leaving himself open to another shot. This time, Chouji kicked twice as hard. This blow knocked Kisame southwards at great distance and great speed. He smashed against the base of another great tree, and continued on through it, going through tree to tree to tree. He eventually stopped, and the two others walked over and looked to make sure that was it. Certain as it would appear, Kisame's corpse lay limp on the ground inside a gigantic crater. The two smiled at the sight, but the smiles did not last for long. The 'corpse' exploded into a million tiny water droplets, just like the last one.

"D-Don't tell me that was a clone too!" Jiroubou shouted in a state of panic. A figure rose out from the puddles directly behind him and grinned.

"That was a clone too."

Hearing the voice from behind him, and not thinking a second thought, Jiroubou threw a punch, spinning all the way around with it. Kisame easily caught his fist using his spare hand.

"No matter what things you two use to extend your strength, or speed up your prowess, you should realize altogether that I am an entirely different league than you."

Chouji charged forward in the hopes of striking him down again, but all hopes were crushed, when Kisame easily dodged the blow, and returned it with his sword. Chouji flew backwards from the force, and when he tried to get up, he winced in pain at the wide open gash marks layering his upper chest.

Kisame raised his sword in Chouji's direction, and when Jiroubou jumped away in caution, he spun around to face Jiroubou, without lowering the sword. "Alright, your turn."

Jiroubou grunted at this, and dug his fists into the earth. When he pulled back up, he had a boulder many times the size of his own body. He hurled it directly at Kisame, full speed. Kisame carelessly leapt over it. But Jiroubou had anticipated this. As Kisame landed, Jiroubou appeared right behind him, from out of nowhere.

"Eat _this_!" He shouted at the unsuspecting water ninja.

"Eh?" Kisame turned his head, just in time to meet up with Jiroubou's fist. Kisame was sent flying from the force, and smashed into the side of the boulder that Jiroubou threw. Once again: a water clone. It dissipated from the boulder, sliding off, and leaving the cracks in the stone from the force of the blow. Kisame again rose up from the water, this time, right in front of the boulder, where his clone sank in.

"You know…" Jiroubou spoke. "…you're starting to pass yourself off as a cheap-ass using the same technique over and over again…"

Kisame frowned at this. "Aww…come on, big man. Keep throwing those punches. I'm sure it will work eventually."

Chouji quickly intercepted him from behind, and threw a punch, this time, at the hand holding Kisame's sword. Kisame moved his hand in time to avoid any harm done directly to it, but while he saved his hand, his sword went flying out of it from the sudden force. It was sent flying for meters to go, spinning rapidly as it sailed through the air. It landed in a small group of trees, seemingly without harming any of them. However, all of those trees fell shortly after the sword landed, having been apparently struck on the way down.

"Oh _wow_." Kisame turned to Chouji. "Now see what you made me do!"

Chouji ignored his statement, and threw a punch, this time, not at Kisame, nor his hand, but at the ground that the three had been standing on. As a result, a great quake was felt and heard, and cracks in the ground turned into great chasms, straining and spreading apart, like a festering wound. They eventually got as wide as ravines, and just as deep. The water, which they all had stood ankle deep in, seeped through the chasms, much like miniature waterfalls. Kisame turned back to stare at Chouji with a look on his face that seemed to ask 'what the hell did you do?'

Chouji glared up at Kisame, still holding the position he was in when he punched the ground. "Bet you're not so tough without water around, huh? Bet you can't use half of your techniques without water, huh?!"

Kisame gave him a look of annoyance. "Are you stupid or something, kid? Were you not aware this whole time that I can summon water at _will?_"

"Are _you_ stupid or something?!" Chouji shot back at him. "Take a good look at the terrain. There's no way you can create a perfect body of water now. The water will simply seep away through all these big cracks that I made in the surface. Guess you hit a failsafe, and I _guess_ your 'friends' won't be feeding on _anyone_, anytime soon!"

Much to Chouji's dismay (and annoyance), Kisame laughed in spite of this. "…heh, heh, heh…good, kid…good…so you figured it out, huh? Maybe you're not the stupid fatass I mistook you for."

"SHUT UP!" Chouji threw a punch at Kisame, but he leapt back, and Chouji smashed the ground instead.

"…but that doesn't mean I can't scratch you both up a little with this fine specimen." He added, stroking the hilt of his weapon.

"Still two-on-one…" Jiroubou announced to Chouji, who was still glaring at Kisame. "We can still pull this off, kid."

Chouji didn't bother to respond. As much as he would have been grateful before that the guy had saved him from being eaten, he still had matters to settle with his old foe. He _did_ insult his best friend after all, as well as him. And he was still one of the enemies of his mission. Nothing would change that.

In a flash, Kisame disappeared from where he had been standing, and reappeared right in front of both of them.

"DIE!" Kisame shouted.

He threw his greatsword up high, and with astounding force, he slammed it down in front of him. He hit a small space right in between his two foes, and a big shockwave ran through the path that his sword was facing. Although both Chouji and Jiroubou had been lucky enough to side jump at the right time, the force of the impact caused them to fly opposite directions and they wound up falling through the great ravines that Chouji had made.

Kisame walked up to the edge and peered down. It was too dark to see, and judging by the width and size, it would take hours for him just to find one of them. Kisame's best case scenario was that the height and steepness of the ravine would finish them both off for him, though he wasn't too sure.

Kisame shrugged his shoulders and turned to walk away, only pausing to look back down from the corner of his eye and mutter one sentence. "You two don't know how lucky you are."

* * *

Chouji somehow managed to climb up the cliffside of the ravine that was quite some distance away from where their skirmishes took place. The wind was quiet and the birds were chirping as He ambled into the deeper woods.

_-THROB-_

"Gah!" He winced as he clutched his chest in pain. The side effects of the red pill were starting. The pain was almost unbearable. He got down on his knees, and started to crawl to the trunk of a great tree. He examined the markings that he found engraved on the tree. It had arrows carved into it, giving the initial direction that the others had headed, as well as a friendly message, telling him to please catch up. He gave a small smile as he read it, and tears started streaming down his face.

'_They believed in me…'_ He set himself in front of the tree and leaned against it.

"Thanks…Shikamaru…everyone…" He lowered his head, his consciousness slowly leaving him as his enhanced chakra did. After a minute of silence, a butterfly came out of the background, glowing a mystic color. It fluttered with soft graces down to greet him, and landed on his unmoving hand.

* * *

Jiroubou climbed out another side of the ravine. It was equally as silent and serene on his side of the ravine as it was on Chouji's. He was out of his cursed seal state, and was looking around to see if it was all clear. Once he realized that it was, he let out a sigh of relief.

"Man…what a workout…" He whispered to himself, lacking the breath and energy to speak in normal tone. He looked back one last time. It was time to regroup with his teammates at Otogakure. "Hope they had better luck than I did…" He mumbled.

* * *

_Miles away…_

Neji and Kidomaru continued to exchange blows, by which meant Kidomaru rapidly spitting webbing at Neji, and Neji repetitively shredding it. Kidomaru had his cursed seal activated; curved markings engulfed most of his body. He had not, however, moved on to level 2.

Neji stood, Byakugan activated, in the center of the forest floor, while Kidomaru kept himself hidden in the trees, waiting for an opening…there!

He shot hardened, arrowhead-like projectiles from his mouth, aimed at vital points in Neji's backside. However, the Byakugan's line of sight was impeccable.

"**Rotation!"** Neji spins rapidly in the same place, resulting in something like a great blue shield to form around his body, parrying the spear points headed directly at him.

Unfazed by Neji's perception, Kidomaru grins. The attack was merely a feint to throw Neji off, while he attacked elsewhere.

Immediately after Neji stops the Rotation, a small flurry of the same weapons attacked again from behind, but this time, at a different angle. Neji again deflected these, but not as luckily as the last time, as two blades lodged themselves into his backside, causing him to grunt in pain.

Kidomaru grinned once again in triumph, as Neji struggled to his feet. The Byakugan's blind spot…and he had located it. While it is clear that the Byakugan has a clear sight radius of 360 degrees, and somewhere around a 50 meter range, there was still one teeny, tiny opening in the back of Neji's head. This is going to require flawless timing and precision – nothing short of that.

Kidomaru readied another hardened weapon, but this time, it was not kunai. Ohhhh, no. He filled his mouth with more brown liquid material for something big. He used his six hands to mold a longbow, with the substance that continued to spew fourth from his mouth. Next was the easy part – he spat one last handful out and molded an arrow with the size to match the bow he was about to put it with. He lined it with the bowstring, and put the end of the arrow in between his teeth, pulling back on it as he did so. The soft creak of the silky string straining against the pressure could be heard, but only by Kidomaru.

_'__This is gonna be difficult without Level 2, but if I can pull this off, right here and now, I won't have to go through the unpleasant effects of using it later.'_

Going in for the winning shot. This should be over in no time at all; just one precise throw will do it…just one precise stab to the head through the blind spot. But it would be hard to time it, that's the thing, with Neji's head constantly turning to look for his enemy.

'_Come on, you bastard…'_ Kidomaru thought, anxious for the kill. _'Just hold still for a second or two…I can make this painless…ya won't even realize when you're dead…'_

He tugged tighter on the arrow. _'Right…about………GOTCHA-'_

-THUD!-

Kidomaru was knocked out of his tree before he could finish off the Hyuuga. He caught himself in mid-air using his webbing to form threats to support him. He clung to them using his six arms, turning to get a look at his assailant. Neji, who had seen (and heard) the action of Kidomaru get knocked out of his position, turned to see what was happening.

"I thought I picked up on some strangely shaped chakra signatures, hmm." Deidara jumped down and landed on a branch just below the one that Kidomaru had been aiming from. "But I didn't think that it would be just a forest spider with a cheap parlor imitation of _my_ art, and…who's this?" He turned to the figure on the forest floor, who was painfully pulling the hardened kunai out of his back side, wincing in pain.

Kidomaru frowned at Deidara from an upside-down position, still hanging his threads. In annoyance, he had one pair of his six arms crossing each other. "Who're you? No, wait, strike that, I don't care who you are. Now blow away, before I get mad."

"Ohhhhhhh, scary, scary…" Deidara raised his arms in pretended fear. "But hey…what's that above – or, from your perspective…below you, hm?" He pointed up.

Kidomaru traced his threads all the way to the sources. Though barely visible from where he was hanging, Kidomaru picked up on a few tiny, white spider creatures that he instantly knew where not his own summons. There was something different about them…something…oh shi-

"BANG!" Deidara shouted out, holding two fingers up to his face in the form of a ninjutsu hand sign.

The clay spiders exploded simultaneously, not only cutting off Kidomaru's supported branches, but knocking Kidomaru through the air through the impact of the explosions altogether. Kidomaru hit the base of a giant tree. Hard. He gagged; spit escaped his mouth as it shot wide open in shock. Having the wind knocked out of you…was not fun.

Kidomaru landed rather unbalanced, kneeling forward in an attempt to regain his breath.

Neji stared up at the figure who wore the black cloak with what appeared to be red clouds. _"Who on Earth…?"_ He continued to look, unsure of whether the man was hostile or not.

Several clay-formed dragonflies coming directly at Neji quickly gave him his answer.

BOOM! BOOM! They exploded as they impacted the ground that Neji had been standing on a second before. Despite his injury, Neji just moved quickly enough to avoid sustaining an attack that had a slight, _slight_ chance of obliterating his pieces altogether.

Deidara didn't care. He was having too much fun toying with them.

He danced around as he hurled more explosive animals at the two shinobi. They hid in cover from them, but it was painfully obvious that they were running out of places to hide. The trees were constantly being blown up and away, and at some point, their luck would run out completely, and Deidara would kill them.

"C'mon, Spiderman, can't you defend yourself any better?! Did you think that you were the only one that could mend materials with chakra?" Deidara shouted looking around; his face was twisted into a frenzied expression. "Did you think you were the only one who could create art?!"

Kidomaru had had enough of this.

'_Dammit. This guy is pushing it…well if he wants it…LEVEL 2!'_

Kidomaru's cursed seal spread across his body like wildfire. His skin turned an even tanner color, and he grew fangs. His eyes assumed the cursed colors, as a third eye opened in his forehead. He was an overall terrifying looking being, appearing more spider-like.

Neji saw this, in a look of horror. He didn't have enough time to process the information thoroughly, though. Explosions continued to ring out of the forest. World War III was happening right now, and nothing he could say was going to stop it.

However, he could say this…

"Hey!" He shouted to Kidomaru. "If you want to live a bit longer, say 'I'!"

"You son of a-...'I'…" He said reluctantly, trying his best to keep his attitude under control.

"Then _I_ propose…"

They both looked at Deidara.

"…a team up!"

"Why should I help _you?_" Kidomaru questioned, crossing a pair of his arms. "Weren't we just trying to kill each other a minute ago?"

"You just said you wanted to live," Neji reminded him. "…well, I would sort of like to live too! Don't think I'm more eager to have to do this than you are… How do you think we will defeat this…man…?" He looked back at Deidara to make sure that he was a man, like he said. He could hardly tell.

"…defeat…this enemy…" He concluded.

Kidomaru grumbled at the thought of having to fight alongside his previous enemy, but something inside of him told him that he was right. He couldn't handle him alone.

"…fine…I guess…but I'm not finished with you yet, kid." He ended on a threatening note.

"I expected no less."

They both turned to the blonde Akatsuki member, who sat carelessly on his branch above them, swinging his legs back and forth.

"Hmph." He smirked at them.

"If anything, it's easier on me than it is on you guys…" he stated. "If you two fight side-by-side, instead of in different corners, I'll snuff you out in one shot, instead of two!"

He laughed annoyingly at the two, who were leaping up the tree branches towards Deidara's location. He immediately stopped his laughing and smirked.

'_Closer…closer…'_ He reached into his pocket, and the mouth pieces on his palms began to chew and mend the clay inside of them. '…_got you!'_ He got into his ninjutsu stance, and as the two nins were about to reach him, the tree around him exploded, sending a shockwave that ripped through the ones nearby. So much for frontal assault.

As they tumbled back and landed on a safer branch, Neji closed his eyes.

"**Byakugan!"** His eyes once again lit up, and he scanned the area. Something was wrong. There were small chakra signatures all over the place. Deidara had the whole forest rigged.

'_He really thought this through…'_ Neji thought._ 'Even if not everything goes as it was supposed to for him, he would just blast the whole forest to the moon.'_ He caught sight of a one of the little chakra signatures start to leap towards them._ 'This is bad!'_

He turned to Kidomaru, who was right next to him. "Keep a wary eye out for anything out of the ordinary. The enemy attacks with chakra-infused clay."

"Oh, really, you think?" Kidomaru responded, as in saying to Neji that he was already aware.

Neji frowned at the sarcastic remark, and continued to look for the larger chakra signature – that being their target. "This whole place is lit with chakra – I'm guessing that the material was automatically strewn around from that last big explosion, when he was on the tree branch."

"So, you're saying he can throw out radial chakra attacks in one measly explosion…"

"That or we're in the middle of an enchanted chakra forest…" Neji returned the snide comment.

"I'm willing to go with the secondary…"

"Shut up, and listen to what I'm saying, if you care for your good will."

"What do you have in mind, _boss?_" Kidomaru hissed.

"First off, we need to find the source of all this chakra. My blood limit will disable any chakra-based attacks, as you well know. If we find the trap master, we can disable the traps."

They looked around, until they spotted something black, with red blotches in the distance. That had to be him.

"There!"

Neji sprinted through the tree branches, leaving Kidomaru behind. He closed in on his target, and by the time Deidara turned to face him, it was too late, and he was hit by a barrage of quick jabs.

"**Hakke Rokujuyon Sho (Eight Trigrams Sixty-Four Palms)!"** Neji commenced the beating.

"Two!" He struck Deidara's torso twice.

"Four!" He struck four more, at increased pace.

"Eight!" Eight more times, pace still increasing.

"Sixteen!" Another sixteen.

"Thirty-two!" What am I, a math teacher?

"Sixty-four!" Deidara was knocked back into a tree with a loud grunt.

As he slid down the base, however, a pasty, white substance seemed to trickle onto the tree, leaving a trail on the way down. Soon, Deidara was completely oozing with the stuff, and shortly after that, his body became an unrecognizable pile of white clay.

Neji crinkled his nose in disgust. Kidomaru ran up next to him to examine the remains.

"Well I'll be damned." A voice rang out above both of them, as high up in the trees, in an upside-down position, Deidara hung with his arms crossed. "You're a Hyuuga, aren't you?"

Neji answered him with a deadpanned glare.

"I'm surprised that you hadn't picked up on the fact that my chakra signature is a lot more detailed than that of a clay clones'."

Seeing that Neji wouldn't answer, he continued. "I'm also surprised that you are too busy paying attention to me to notice the hundreds of clay insects seeping out of the remains of the one you just killed!"

Kidomaru took one quick glance back at the mound. His eyes widened in panic.

"Oh-oh shit!" He shouted, waving his arms around in panic. "Run! Run away from it!"

Deidara assumed his ninjutsu hand pose. "Art is…"

"A bitch!" A voice shouted from the far distance.

The terrorist gave a confused look, but quickly turned back and finished.

"A BANG!"

The insects surrounding the disheveled mound exploded like firecrackers…very big, loud firecrackers. The tree that had supported the clone was blown into splinters, each flying for meters to go.

Neji and Kidomaru had taken cover, each behind their own tree. They slowly turned to each other, exchanged surprised glances, their hair stuck up in messes as smoke left them as they turned back.

"It's painfully obvious – this guy is a damn psychopath." Kidomaru concluded, after careful calibrations.

"He seems to have a small affinity for explosions, but I do doubt I would go so far as to call him a…" Neji dragged off as he looked back in time to see Deidara laughing like a lunatic, and doing the Caramelldansen around the rubble where the explosions took place. "…psychopath…" Neji finally finished, as he and Kidomaru sweat-dropped at the strange, strange sight.

"What now? Neither of us can go for help without being blown up, and we can't stay in one position for too long."

Neji closed his eyes in concentration. As soon as he opened them again, he turned to face Kidomaru.

"I noticed a…slight change in your appearance. Is there anything you can do that you couldn't before?"

Kidomaru nodded, his eyes closed in frustration. "As much as I enjoy telling freakin' leaf genin about my fighting strengths and strategies, I guess I don't have a choice…"

He opened his eyes again (all three of them), and stared at Neji, who was chilled slightly at having three hideously colored eyes peering directly at him.

"My custom _Sticky Spider Bow_ that I have right now goes perfectly well with my second form. Because of this third eye, I have improved accuracy, increasing the precision and deadliness of my arrow. On top of that, I have a perfectly flexible chakra thread that I attach to the arrow, and as I shoot, I can tilt it through use of the thread, and guide where it goes."

Neji nodded in response, his arms folded, and his eyes closed.

"I'll be more careful about reading the chakra signatures now, so, having memorized the pattern of the clone I just destroyed, I'll be checking this enemy for similar patterns. If I see that he's a fake, I'll tell you so." Neji explained.

He paused briefly and looked at Kidomaru to see if he was paying attention to what he was saying. He nodded, and motioned for him to start analyzing.

Neji nodded as response, and faced directly at the tree that they were hiding behind. He closed his eyes.

"**Byakugan!"** Repeating the same facial effects, Neji looked through the tree and out at Deidara…just in time to see him come straight at them…surfing along the backside of a gigantic clay centipede. It charged at them at surprising speed, knocking down fallen trees as it did so.

Neji's eyes widened in shock. "Shit! Run!"

"Run, what the…" Kidomaru looked out from behind the tree, and all three of his eyes grew to the size of dinner plates. "Ah! Shit!! Run!!"

They darted in opposite directions, and not a second later, the tree that they hid behind had been struck down.

Deidara continued surfing through the wilderness, bashing down trees with his big, long ride. He wasn't about to let them escape.

"Come out, come out!" Deidara shouted playfully. He had not had this much fun in a while.

"Right here!" A voice echoed out back in response.

"Wha-?" He turned around just in time to meet Neji's palm driving into his chest.

"Oomph!" He grunted at he was knocked clear off of his centipede.

From the top of the beasts back, Neji thrust his fingertips into the head area, and in an instant, the creature had tipped over with a loud thud. It lay there, a lifeless husk, completely devoid of chakra.

Neji left the fallen bug, and darted towards where he had seen Deidara fall, only to find that he was no longer there. There was, however, a gigantic imprint that he had left where he made contact with the ground.

"You-hoo!" A voice shouted from high up in the trees.

Neji turned up in time to see a small flock of clay birds swoop down upon him. Acting quickly, Neji rapidly jabbed at the oncoming animals, hitting each of them exactly one time. They fell to the ground, limp.

'_He's fast.'_ Neji thought, gripping his side and panting hard.

Deidara stared down at him in sheer amusement, but didn't notice Kidomaru plant himself into position several meters away, bow in hand. He took his aim, released the arrow, and let it fly. It shot towards Deidara with the silk infused thread hanging behind it. Deidara caught sight of it, and timing himself just right, he leaned back and narrowly dodged it. Kidomaru saw right through it, and adjusted the arrow a little. It was intended to pierce the enemy, but instead, it tore a small gash in his outfit.

"Whoa." Deidara reacted, fingering the tear in his clothing. "Not bad." He jumped off of his tree branch, and threw a small clay bird that suddenly became twenty times bigger. He landed gracefully on the owl, and took high to the air. "It was fun and all, sparring with a Hyuuga and with a mutant freak with abilities like mine…" He opened up his palms to them to show them the mouths that were now sticking their tongues out at them.

The two down below crinkled their faces in disgust.

"…Buuuuuuut, time to end this game of wits and dangerous explosions." He dug his hands into his pockets, and allowed his extra mouths to mold the clay inside to shape. When he finished, he pulled out a pod-shaped clay figure. "I don't think the ever-so expensive C-4 clay will be necessary, but I'll bet the Hyuuga has figured out by now that the whole area is rigged with explosives. Anyways, tah!" He released the figure and blew a big jet trail as he hauled out of there.

"For the last time, kids…" He shouted back at them as he flew away. "ART IS A BLAST!!"

Backing away from the falling object, Neji and Kidomaru stumbled upon a great ravine. What dumb luck. They felt like taking no chances today, and both of them jumped off the edge and made their escape, not looking back.

**-BOOM!-**

Multiple, loud explosions rang out from behind, as they flew through the dark rift. Boulders came crashing down as a result of the action from above, and in no time at all, the entire ravine was filled with rock. Neji crawled out of the debris, huffing loudly as he got up, and brushed the dirt and dust from himself. Many meters away, Kidomaru was doing the exact same thing. They both looked back at where the explosions came from. What a mess – great smoke rose from the land as the trees were stripped of their leaves, and not one tree was standing. The grass was also burnt clean off of the surface. In short, a wasteland. They had both survived…some how… Unaware that the other was alive, the injured and exhausted shinobi clutched their sides, and limped off towards their own villages.

"Everyone..." Neji grunted out in pain as he was on the verge of collapse. "The rest...I leave to you."

* * *

Hidan was walking alone along the trail. So far, no good. He had not caught sight of any sport. He knew that he and Kakuzu were supposed to be heading towards the Hidden Leaf Village together to prevent help from coming for the objective target, but what the Leader didn't know wouldn't hurt them. Besides, they would rather be part of the action, anyways, rather than standing in a boring lookout place, waiting for help that they all knew would never come. However, Hidan might as well be there waiting right now, with the luck he was having right now.

Suddenly, he heard something in the background, near the river. Panting? He rushed over behind a tree and carefully looked from behind it. What he saw caused him to crack a small grin, which eventually folded into a full smile. Jackpot. For what he saw, was a wounded leaf genin, all soggy and worn as he was limping towards a tree, holding something furry. A cat? A dog? Too far to tell. All that Hidan knew was that his dark god would get his long-waited sacrifice very soon.


	4. To Each His Own Battle pt 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

**Chapter 3: To Each His Own Battle pt. 2**

_Near a river-_

Kiba and Akamaru were battling Sakon and his brother, Ukon, both of whom were in Level 2 cursed seal form. They now had devil-red skin, horns sticking out of their foreheads, longer hair, razor-sharp fangs, and the same golden pupils in blackened eyes that the other members had in their Level 2 forms.

Kiba and his dog were fighting them non-stop for about an hour now, and quite frankly, they really didn't know how much more they could take. They had critical wounds from the fight, but thanks to Sakon and Ukon's regenerative ability, the two demons on the other hand looked like they hadn't been injured at all.

He had managed to escape with his dog from the two, for the time being. He had swum across the stream with a serious gash across his side, and had managed to stagger to a giant tree to hide behind. He had to admit, it wasn't the most logical hide away space, but it was the only one available to get a quick breather. He knew that it was only a matter of time before the enemy caught up.

"How are ya doing, boy?" Kiba asked Akamaru. He seemed more concerned for his dog's health than his own.

The dog whined in reply. Apparently, he wasn't holding up too well.

Kiba stroked his seriously wounded friend's fur. It was incredibly ruffled, and had little blotches of blood from some of the more minor wounds.

Suddenly, Kiba's eyes widened. Reluctantly, he sniffed the air for signs of his foe. The peculiar stench seemed to go in and out for the past half hour, and all the while, it had Kiba on edge.

Luck seemed to be on their side so far, and Kiba and Akamaru savored every draw of breath that they got. At least they caught a good second wind.

This particular time, however, the scent was much, much closer than all the others. In a short period of time, Kiba could swear that the source was just on the other side of the tree.

Then, it disappeared altogether.

Kiba heaved a sigh of great relief.

"That was close." He mumbled to himself.

"What was?"

Very suddenly, an entirely new scent filled the air – and the source was right next to him.

Kiba clutched his nose, wincing with pain. The sudden whiff of the scent had shocked his nose, since his sense of smell was many times more powerful than that of an ordinary human.

Kiba slowly turned his head back from looking around the tree, up at the towering, unfamiliar figure that was now leaning against the same tree trunk that he was.

The figure's head turned half-way, and with a side glance, he grinned evilly at the unsuspected genin.

"Who-" Kiba winced in pain, briefly interrupting himself. "…who are you…?"

"Hmm?" The figure leaned towards him, his icy eyes staring coldly into his.

A minute passed by, the two staring at each other, and eventually, the taller one got bored with it all.

"Ahh, screw it - just die." He pulled his three-sickle scythe out from behind his back, and licked the lean edges of the blades. "Brace yourself for the pain."

"Wha-what? Why are you doing this? What did I do?!" Kiba protested, trying to change the guy's mind.

"Nothing, really…" Hidan answered. For a play, he put his fingers to his chin, showing that he was thinking about what Kiba was saying, and that he might reconsider about finishing him.

But then, he lowered his hand away his face, which now grinned maniacally. "…meh, I'll kill you anyways." He finished.

He raised his scythe high in the air. The small rays of sunlight that beamed through the trees caught the curved, shining edges of Hidan's weapon. Bright, purple light reflected off of the scythe and practically blinded Kiba. He shut his eyes tight, not just because of the light, but because he knew this was it for him. Death was holding a purple, three-sickled scythe, and he was about to hand him the wrong end of it.

"You're crazy!"

Hidan had a menacing look upon his face; his eyes were wide, and he had a psychotic smile wrapped across. How long had it been since he had last killed someone? Six days…maybe even seven? Shit, he'd better hop to it.

"As I said before, TIME TO DI-"

-SMACK!-

Hidan was knocked aside by something before he could finish his sentence…and Kiba, for that matter.

"Oomph!" Hidan hit the ground. Out of nowhere, his scythe spun in, and lodged its blades right into his backside.

-chink-

"…OW!!"

He pried it out by the shaft, and gritting his teeth, he turned around to get a good look at the bastard who had disrupted him.

As his eyes narrowed, he saw…a puppet?

'_Is that…one of Sasori's puppets?!'_ He looked at the wooden, multi-armed form._ 'No…he's not stupid enough to turn on Akatsuki…but then who…?'_ Hidan's eyes narrowed at the figure that stood next to it, chakra strings barely visible at his fingertips.

The figure was in mostly black, with what had appeared to be purple, ceremonial markings covering his face.

"So it looks like you're on our side this time, huh?" Kiba smirked up at Kankurou.

Kankurou didn't answer him. He smirked at the figure that was getting up, using his scythe as a support.

"To be perfectly honest, I thought Halloween was months away." Hidan jeered, looking over Kankurou's outrageous outfit. "You'll get no candy here, little kid."

Kankurou's smirk dropped, and was replaced with a scowl in response.

"Why don't you kindly take your doll…" Hidan began with a seemingly friendly smile, which disappeared as quickly as it came. "…AND FUCK OFF BEFORE I GET PSYCHOPATH UPSET!!" He swept his arm to one side for emphasis.

Kankurou's scowl deepened even more, if that was at all possible.

'_Geez…what is it with people calling my puppets 'dolls'?! They're PUPPETS!! And as for this guy…'_

"That's far enough, pal! It's one thing to insult my ceremonial outfit, but insult my puppets – I'm gonna mess ya up!!" Kankurou's puppet clicked noisily for emphasis to his statement.

"Bring that sad statue over here, and I'll show you how to make a bonfire with it!"

As Kankurou prepared to do so, Hidan held his scythe in an attack stance.

Unknown to any of the three, however, someone was watching them from the trees - and he was wearing Kiba's coat.

"With dog boy wounded, there are still two punks down there that have some sport in them. Where do all these guys come from?" Sakon whispered to his brother, who was back in his body. Both of them were out of their Level 2 forms, and back to their normal looks.

"The day took a rather odd turn of events, didn't it?" Ukon whispered in response with his eyes still shut.

"Which one do you want?"

"Do you really need _me_ for this? They both look pretty weak…"

"Well, so much for 'all for one and one for all'…"

"Stop bitching."

"You stop bitching!"

"Keep your voice down, or you'll give us away!"

"Shut up! I know that!"

"Then keep quiet!"

"Why don't I just go down there and deal with the nuisance?!"

"You're so damn impatient, brother! You don't even know either one's abilities!"

"That one guy owns a scythe; that other guy controls a doll! Okay? Happy ending! Let me kill 'em!"

"You'll kill us both!"

"You don't know that!"

"I've been your brother since birth – I've shared this body with you since birth! I have been in/witnessed you get either yourself or both of us beaten up many times! Yes – I know that!!"

"Then _you_ deal with the problem!"

"How about we let the problem deal with itself, huh?!"

"See, this is why I was Mother's favorite. I've always been the activist. You, on the other hand, hardly push yourself to do anything!"

"Let's not bring Mother into this. Besides, I think she would have sided with me when I say you're always the one who does something that gets us killed!"

"Yeah, well I-"

The two abruptly paused, and as if on cue, they slowly turned their heads to look down at their three adversaries.

"Aw, hell." They uttered in unison, without looking away.

They were so busy arguing, they didn't notice the three faces that were turned and staring right up at them for Kami knows how long.

"What the hell is going on up there…?" Hidan mumbled, scratching the back of his neatly-combed head.

"I couldn't help but notice that one of them also addressed my puppet as 'doll'…" Kankurou complained.

Kiba had a look of shock on his face.

'_Why couldn't I sense him?'_ He thought. _'I should have been able to smell him from here! Wait…what's that?'_ His eyes narrowed on the coat that Sakon was wearing. _'Is that…mine?? So that's it… He knew that I was too familiar with my own scent to recognize it in the air.' _He cautiously leered at the oncoming sound nin. _'This guy is...extremely tricky.'_

As Sakon jumped down from the tree with his brother, Hidan charged Kankurou, who was charging with his puppet at Sakon for his most recent insult. In short, this was a free-for-all fight.

* * *

Shikamaru was leaping through the trees with Naruto close at hand. They were nearing the enemy, and both of them knew it.

Shikamaru looked at Naruto, who was jumping right next to him at equal pace. Since all the years that he had known him to be the happy-go-lucky kid that he was, Shikamaru was even more depressed than usual to see Naruto so troubled.

After a minute, Shikamaru opened his mouth to say something, but was cut short when a white figure dashed right past them…holding the barrel that Sasuke was in. It was heading the opposite direction, and it went at just the speed for Naruto and Shikamaru to recognize the purple bow around the person's waist.

Naruto and Shikamaru abruptly stopped and landed on a branch.

"Oh, no you DON'T!!" Naruto shouted.

He turned, and was just about to dash the same way, but his path was cut off, when another figure dashed right past him in the same direction. Naruto saw that the person's outfit was different from that of the common enemy, the Sound. It was black, and had…red clouds?

Naruto hesitated for a second before trying again – only to have yet another figure wearing similar clothing dash in the same direction. That same black cloak with red clouds…

Naruto was awe-struck. "H-Hey! Wait for me!!" He shouted.

"Naruto…wait!" Shikamaru responded.

But it was far too late. Naruto was already darting head-first after them.

"…What a drag…" Shikamaru closed his eyes and sighed before following quickly behind.

* * *

_Back to the action-_

Hidan quickly dashed to Kankurou before he could even reach Sakon, and took a quick swing with his scythe.

Kankurou had barely seen him coming on time, successfully deflected the attack with one of his puppets.

Hidan kicked the puppet to the side in response to the intervention. With the puppet away and unable to defend its master, Hidan saw an opening, and made a furious 360 degree spin with his blades.

Kankurou made a feeble attempt to protect himself by covering his head with his arms, but with his brute force, Hidan's scythe broke Kankurou's guard, and severed his head from his shoulders.

-chink-

Kiba winced at the sound that the sickles made in contact, and the head that flew away shortly after.

Much to Hidan's chagrin, no blood spurted out of the stump where the separation took place. No fun. He pouted as he approached the body to examine it. He repetitively poked the stub of its neck and then stroke two of his fingers along the surface of the inside of the throat.

Desert dry… Another puppet…?

Suddenly, the hand of the carcass reached up and grabbed Hidan by the wrist. Hidan's eyes widened in surprise at the oppressive grasp of the beheaded puppet. A loud, cranking sound emanated from the puppet, as it shifted its arm slightly, and…

-CRACK-

With effortlessness, the puppet snapped Hidan's wrist and his whole lower arm with it, in a bone-splitting, split second. Its tight fingers still wrapped around the now disfigured limb.

"…Well that wasn't very nice!" Hidan complained, not even wincing from the pain of his arm breaking.

The skin of the puppet began to crack and peel off, leaking to the ground in the form of sand. The ugly exoskeleton was standing in the place of 'Kankurou'.

"Say hello to my good friend…"

Hidan heard a voice, turning to face Kankurou, who was pulling the puppet's strings.

"…the _Black Ant_. Mind you, he loves to greet people with a furious bear hug."

Hidan glared at him before looking back at the puppet, which still tightly gripped his broken arm.

The ribs of the puppet unlatched, and seemed to…expand in length. Finally reaching the appearance of insect legs, they really did look like part of some giant ant. Tiny, saw-like blades emerged from the slots that etched the sides of each leg.

"Now die!"

The arms closed around Hidan.

-CHINK-

In an instant, he was encased in what was probably the most hated hug he would ever come to know. Blood spurted in blotches, big and small, all over Hidan's face on impact.

"Ouch…I'm…not really a very huggy person…man." Hidan squeezed through his breath.

Kankurou's eyes widened that someone was still talking after taking a number like that.

"Impossible…unless…I guess I didn't cut deep enough to do any real damage." He muttered to himself.

Yeah…that must be it…

Hidan struggled to break free of the extremely tight death-hug, but with only one usable arm and with rows of saw-like teeth rubbing hard against your back and sides, no surprise if he doesn't get out straight away.

Sakon saw an opportunity to attack the puppet master while he was working off that other enemy for him. He charged Kankurou, who saw him coming out of the corner of his eye.

Kankurou grinned as he closed in. Although he was currently using all ten of his fingers to restrain Hidan, really, he only needed five. He had the element of surprise on his side.

He quickly turned, releasing one arm and all of the chakra strings that went with it, and directed it at the area around Sakon. In a flash instant, a gigantic, crate-shaped puppet launched out of the ground directly below Sakon, and he stumbled right at its opened body. As he landed hard inside of it, the puppet quickly latched closed around him, trapping him inside. He had literally walked right into it.

"Let me out of here! Let me out right now!!" Sakon yelled while pounding the inside of his wooden captor. "Let me out of here, or I'll KILL YOU!!"

"…what…?" Hidan responded from the distance. You'd think that someone would learn when they were in the right position to make death threats, and when they weren't. But then again, he wasn't really one to talk. On occasion, he had been recalled to threaten and swear at his opponents, when it was just his own head rolling around.

Kankurou gave a triumphant face. Even though he needed more fingers to finish the puppet show, he had both enemies restrained, and at his fingertips…literally.

His face quickly dimmed, as he saw one of his captives, more specifically the one that he had with his right fingers, break all of the arms off of his puppet. Having wrested free, Hidan was cracking his wrist back into place, grunting as he did so. He actively moved his hand and fingers to make sure that there was no permanent damage.

'_Okay, so maybe I did need more than five fingers for the Ant…'_ Kankurou agreed nervously to himself.

Hidan very slowly turned towards his would-be captor. Kankurou's eyes widened even more at the big slices and gashes in Hidan's bear sides. Normally fatal wounds. Had he _really_ not just attacked hard enough, or was there something about this guy that he didn't know about?

Blood continued to ooze down Hidan's body. He readied his scythe again, this time with a _little_ bit of extra killing intent.

"…You know what?" Hidan suddenly asked calmly, and with a calm face to match. He twirled his scythe around by the shaft as he spoke. "I hope this next attack _really_ fucks you up…" His calm act instantly dropped, and Hidan revealed a face twisted with rage. "…YOU BASTARD!!"

He dashed towards the shocked puppeteer with unnatural and inhuman speed.

In an act of retaliation, Kankurou released his other hand, and in doing so, released the chakra strings supporting the other puppet. It crashed to the ground with Sakon still inside of it. A grunted sound could be heard as it hit the floor. Probably Sakon.

Without the proper use of Kankurou's chakra strings to support the trap, he was sure that Sakon would work his way out in no time. But there would be time to worry about that later. Right now was the crazed zealot charging at him to consider.

Thinking quickly, Kankurou pulled something off of his back – something wrapped in gauze. He quickly set it in front if him, and pulled the cloth covering it loose, but not before Hidan had reappeared in front of him and drove his three blades through it.

The object splintered into pieces and pieces from the force, but lucky enough for Kankurou, the blades got caught by the torso, which somehow kept together. The edges stuck all the way through the wood – one of the tips stopped an inch away from Kankurou's eye, which was now wide in surprise.

"Ahh, dammit…jammed again?!" Hidan complained. He then began actively jerking the shaft to pull his weapon free from the puppet.

As the remaining wrappings fell from the now scourged figure, the pieces lay around the floor around the two fighters, the most recognizable being the head – the head of the last puppet in Kankurou's arsenal.

Kankurou shut his eyes tight in frustration. The _Crow_, his last lifeline…and he just used it.

He started out with three puppets, and the only use that they served before being torn apart was keeping Kankurou alive up to this point. His opponent had only given him enough time to act on the defensive, and Kankurou never had a chance to do a _quarter_ of the attacks that he was normally able to.

While Hidan struggled to pry his blades out of the gears that they had caught in, Kiba struggled to get up from his position, and beheld no avail, as he collapsed right back into sitting position again. With that wound of his, he was a sitting duck.

_'__Come on, jerk…just hold on a bit longer…'_

Sakon kicked open the door of the collapsed puppet that held him captive, and quickly turned to see the two healthy foes temporarily diverting each other's attention. He took the chance to attack the wounded dog boy, whom he knew to be his old foe, and his real enemy.

"Die, leaf trash!!" Sakon shouted as he dashed towards Kiba with kunai at hand.

"No!" Kankurou turned around and with a rapid yank of his remaining chakra strings, he swung what was left of his puppet around a full 180 degree arc, while Hidan held on to his still-embedded weapon the whole way.

"WHOOOOAAAAA!!" Hidan shouted as he rode the shambles into Sakon.

On contact, Sakon, Hidan, and the puppet they were riding on were sent flying through the air and into a tree.

Hidan was the first to recover. He slowly rose from the wreckage, with his scythe pulled from what was left of Kankurou's battle puppet. He began his approach towards the puppet master, and the wounded leaf genin.

"You…son of a-" he came to an abrupt halt, as he was grabbed by his ankle. He then felt a sharp pain in the calf of his leg.

He turned his head to see Sakon, digging his kunai deeper into his leg, yanking and jerking it around to do more damage to the tissue. Hidan winced slightly as blood gushed down his ankle. Shortly after, he reached down, grabbed Sakon tight around the neck, and held him up a few feet above the ground.

Sakon struggled to get free, weakly punching Hidan's offending arm, which only caused him to grasp his neck tighter, and ultimately choke him more.

"I've got a few words of advice for you, kid." Hidan began, taking his sacrificial dagger out from his back. "Never piss off someone that you can't kill."

Hidan put the dagger to Sakon, and ever slowly, he began to apply pressure to it, pressing the dagger slowly into his side, right under the ribs, where it hurt the most.

"Guh…" Sakon cried weakly. He would scream even louder from the intense pain of a knife slowly puncturing his body, but the fact that Hidan had him suspended in the air tightly grasping his throat, circumstances could be better.

But then Hidan noticed something.

'_Hey…'_ He thought to himself. _'Didn't this bastard have two heads…?'_

"Hey, man."

Hidan turned to his shoulder, and widened his eyes in amazement, as he saw Ukon's head sticking out and smirking at him.

"Why don't you put that idiot down…I know he probably deserves it, but you have bigger problems to focus on." Ukon stated calmly. "For instance," he continued. "The fact that my unique ability enables me to destroy every living cell in your body from the inside out. I'd say you're in big trouble, sir."

Hidan grinned menacingly, revealing a row of straight, white teeth. "Well one of us is…"

"Huh…?" Ukon responded confused. He realized that if this guy exploited the techniques weakness like his other opponent had earlier, that would just plain suck.

This dark fear was realized instantly as Hidan threw his brother against the tree nearest him as hard as he could. Leaves shook from their branches as Sakon spiraled into the thick tree's trunk with a loud thud. He grunted loudly from the impact, and was out cold.

Hidan then pointed his dagger at his own body.

"Learn the price of sharing a body with the servant of Jashin-sama."

"Wha-what?! No! Wait!"

"Too late!" Hidan answered with a cheery, high-pitched tone in his voice.

-chink-

He drove the knife hard into his side. Blood began trickling out of the wound, which was rapidly increasing in size as Hidan drew it across his stomach. Within moments, red fluid drenched around his whole abdomen like an ugly belt.

"Ohhh, does that feel gooooood…" Hidan acted as if he was getting a massage. "Sweet, sweet pain. Can you feel that?"

Ukon, on the other hand, wasn't looking too healthy. He was clearly disoriented, and the sight only made Hidan more gleeful. It was hard to tell if Ukon's expression came from the extreme pain that he was feeling, or the fact that his host seemed to enjoy what he was doing to himself. Or both.

"You…uh- you're a…crazy bastard…" Ukon grunted out, blood dripping from his mouth.

"Oh, you give me too much credit."

Ukon began to crawl weakly out of Hidan's body, who kept his perfect poise, even as he continued to dig the blade into himself.

From the pain that Ukon had felt when Kiba had stabbed his body to get him out, the pole votes weren't all that close; there was no pain at _all_ compared to what he was feeling right now. Best to get to know a little more about the person who's body you try to take over.

Kankurou and Kiba, who still hadn't moved from that tree, had witnessed the whole thing, and had a similar thought process in common: best not to screw with this bastard.

Hidan turned his head to make sure that the others hadn't made a run for it. This gave Ukon just enough time to stagger over to Sakon's unconscious body, and fuse with it. This time, Ukon was the one in front, and was controlling the body that both of them were in.

"Don't worry, brother…" Ukon whispered. "I'm getting us out of here."

With that, he started to sprint away. He thanked Kami for their signature health regenerative ability. Without it, there was pretty much a guarantee that escaping would have been much harder.

Hidan quickly turned around in time to see him running away.

"Oh, no you fucking don't!!" He cursed. "I never said I was finished with you yet!"

He took his scythe in hand, and positioning his arm carefully, he sprang a long cord out of the shaft, through the air at their direction. The blades on the other end spiraled in a horizontal fashion, passing right through all of the trees it made contact with, which all fell to the ground in fine-cut pieces soon after.

Ukon, who was currently manning the body of the two, turned his head and looked back just in time to see the purple flurry fling towards him. Acting quickly, he leaned himself as low as possible while still running.

In slow motion, the blade spun slowly over, cutting a strand of silver hair off of Sakon's unconscious head before just narrowly passing over them. Close call.

Hidan gritted his teeth, and prepared to take after his target that he missed. He then stopped abruptly, remembering something. His dagger. He had a sample of the blood they shared. They share the same body, so they should share the same blood, right?

Hidan got the dagger out and ready. Sure enough, blood still clung to the edge.

But wait…shit. Even so, he would not have the time to make the 'necessary preparations' for the ritual. This would include tasting the blood, creating the seal of Jashin (with blood) on the floor he stood on, and praying on it. _Then_ he could kill them.

Needless to say, they would be long gone by the time all of this was accomplished.

"Dammit." Hidan said through clenched teeth. "…But this isn't over…we'll meet again. Did you catch that, boys?! _We'll meet again!!_"

Whether the message got through or not, he blew a strand of hair that hung over his forehead in annoyance before turning back to finish off the other two nins that were with him…

...who were also gone. Dammit again.

He shut his eyes tight, and hung his head in shame as he followed the cord of his weapon, swearing under his breath the whole way to his scythe, which was wedged in the seam of a great tree. He took one hard yank, and it was out.

As he walked away with it over his shoulder, his head still hung, he kept at an evenly slow pace without bothering to look back. He continued to illegibly swear under his breath, even as the tree behind him, where his scythe was lodged in, slowly split down the middle and crash loudly to the forest floor.

_'I knew I should have issued a prayer to Jashin before I fought... This is just bad karma catching up with me...'_ Hidan thought to himself. _'What in the hell am I gonna tell the others...? "'Hey guys, what have you been doing? Killed anyone? Me...? Well...'"_ He started to brainstorm with a list of excuses that he could use.

_'Nothing happened.'_

_'__The ANBU Black Ops came to their rescue - I was overpowered.'_

'_My scythe stopped working.'_

_'__There was an earthquake.'_

_'__A tidal wave?'_

_'__The squirrels came and attacked me to avenge their friend.'_

_'My shadow confronted me.'_

_'I hate my life.'_

* * *

_Back with Sasori and Tayuya-_

Clash after clash for over an hour in the treetops; treetops that must have been hundreds of feet above the ground. There was a perfectly good view of half the forest, if only that.

On one side, Tayuya still had her cursed seal activated, and was now struggling with her Doki to keep them balance on the thin top while delivering the offensive at the same time…or trying to at least. So far, every attack failed, not even making it past her opponent's metallic tail without so much as a simple deflection. It wasn't her own balance that she fretted about, it was her minions. They must weigh two tons each, and if Tayuya didn't finger her musical instrument carefully, they would either fall because the treetop would give way, or because of a careless mistake.

Sasori, on the other hand, held up extremely well, even in his gigantic puppet. Despite its immense frame, there it stood on the very tip-top of the tree, staring at Tayuya perfectly still, without even blinking.

Tayuya looked at how well-positioned he was in his spot. No matter what anyone said, no one, no matter how high ranking a shinobi they were, could balance so easily on a thin tip with a body that wide. Yet there he was, leering at her from meters away. She could not tell for sure, but she had a feeling that under that thick, black cowl that covered Sasori's lower face, he was grinning maniacally at her. And she wanted nothing more than to bash that pompous grin off of his face.

With a quick two-key combo, Tayuya played a couple of high notes to her demons. The trembled in reply, and then shot off at Sasori. Even as they closed in on the puppet master, he did not move his body. Not that he couldn't move, he simply didn't. Instead, he continued to face Tayuya, not giving any sign whatsoever that he had his attention on the attacking demons. All of Tayuya's Doki made one simultaneous attack on him from both sides.

-CLANG-

Tayuya's pupils shrunk slightly in surprise as she still held her flute to her lips. Sasori had sprung his tail into full arc over his body, parrying all attacks made towards him in the process. But to say that he made it look easy would be an understatement. He did not flinch. He did not move his body, or his head for that matter. He simply continued to stare at her, eyes non-blinking; as if to say that nothing had happened as he unfurled his tail into its normal position, and her Doki jumped back onto their assigned spots.

That's when she got close enough to _really_ notice them.

Those eyes. _His_ eyes. They gleamed in a deep evil white color as they focused intently on her. She didn't even know that white could be _described_ an evil color, but damn, he pulled it off perfectly.

But those eyes…so empty, yet so full of…malevolence. Carnage. Gore. Death. Everything that could possibly be described evil was rolled into two, glaring eyes. Eyes that were on her.

They…they rivaled Orochimaru's eyes! Not that she had been courageous more than twice enough to actually make eye contact with the Snake Sannin.

It was like staring into a void, and it scared her. Tayuya could feel her hairs stand up on end, an icy chill creeping up her spine. She swallowed hard. She could feel how hard that her heart was throbbing.

And for the first time in a _long_ time, there was fear in her eyes.

What he was saying before was true. He had _definitely_ killed before.

Tayuya quickly snapped herself from those eerie thoughts as a certain, shining tail lashed out towards her tree. Thinking quickly, she played an inversed tune to her demons. Half a second later, it jumped into the path of the stinger, and with the tough bones attached to its wrists, it grappled with the hilt of the tail, and ultimately stopped Sasori's progress.

_'__Get your fucking head out of the clouds, Tayuya,'_ she thought to herself. _'This is the battlefield. Fear will not save you. Lord Orochimaru taught you that.'_

She briefly remembered her lesson, and caught glimpse of another sweep attack made by the long tail. As it rounded toward her, the sun shone brightly off the metallic surface for a brief half second, but hit her just right in her eyes. She blinked rapidly in temporary blindness.

She quickly shook it off, and with not a second thought, she leapt high into the air, and the tail missed her by roughly an inch. As she looked down before she landed, she could see that the tip of the tree that she was once standing on was severed completely from its body. Knowing that it would no longer support her, she landed on the side of the tree, and kicked off of it to leap to another nearby one.

When she found one, she landed gracefully on the top, and brought her flute to her lips. Closing her eyes in concentration (and in trying to relax, for that matter), she played a quick nocturne, and her Doki rumbled for a moment to connect to the pattern. Then, they all instantly knew what to do.

As the bladed Doki set off towards Sasori, the one with the club leapt off of its own tree, and let itself freefall all the way to the ground.

Falling...

Falling...

-BOOM-

With its powerful legs, it landed without damaging itself from the hundred-foot fall. Other than the extremely loud noise that it had just made on impact and the birds fluttering away because of it, the underskirts of the forest were quiet and calm. It picked itself up from the titanic crater that it had made in the ground, and approached the trunk holding up a certain tree. As it stopped right in front of it, it held back its club, preparing to make a horizontal bludgeon to the wood.

As Sasori continued to fend off the attacks of the bladed Doki, the bound Doki sat patiently behind on its own tree.

Sasori knew that something was up, knowing from their ongoing fight that the girl wouldn't send just one demon to fight, unless she had a good reason to. Never the less, he thought it best to focus on the fight right in front of him that threatened to chop him to pieces if he didn't.

Suddenly, a loud rumble erupted from directly below him, and as Sasori looked down, his eyes widened a bit at the realization that his entire tree was preparing to collapse.

Tayuya grinned at the perfect chance to launch her third Doki to finish the job. Playing one last note to give it added effort, the flutist watched as her final demon leapt at her rival to finish him off.

While the Doki currently fighting Sasori jumped away, Sasori himself quickly snapped his head toward the last demon that was now diving head-first to meet up with him.

Too late to block, this time.

It slammed into him at full force, and Tayuya could swear (literally, she could swear) that she heard the sound of splintering wood as it made contact. She smirked without lowering her flute as she watched her opponent fly back hard into another tree. She had finally tricked him. That smart-ass that had been talking so tough for the first quarter of the fight, and look at him now.

Sasori was motionless as he let himself fall from the near-top, landing with a hard, cluttering sound as he hit one of the bigger, longer branches protruding from its owner.

Tayuya watched for a few minutes to see if he would get up again. He lay a total mess on the side of the tree, his cloak half clinging to him, half hanging down from his branch like a rag. Tayuya smiled down at his limp, quiet body that made no sign that it would move again. He didn't even show signs of breathing, just laying there. She had done it. She had won.

Or so she would think.

Tayuya's triumphant expression soon resumed dead-panned, with the extra feature of her pupils dialating to olive size as she watched him slowly rise back up from his fall. _How _he was doing it was creepy enough, cracking bones like he had been brought back to life as if he had been dead for a century - it was _that _he was doing it after taking bull's horns to the head.

The impact and the fall both meant nothing to him - he couldn't feel pain in his higher-evolutionary body. It just upset his pride that he had let an attack touch him, and from this_...girl! _The thought of it all was so...humiliating.

Sasori had finally managed to lift his puppet's heavy head to glare at the kunoichi once again. _'Okay, bitch... Okay.'_

Within the span of a quick, simple second, his black cowl dropped, revealing a long, ugly, disorganized section of teeth.

Tayuya's pupils didn't even have enough time to dilate into olives by the time he was spouting a mass of sharp, slender needles directly from that same mouth that he had cracked open with a singular click.

Acting purely on instinct, Tayuya leapt off from her treetop and caught one of the lower branches as the needles whistled past her.

_'__That's a new trick…'_ she agreed with herself nervously.

She looked back up at the continuing barrage of slender missiles in awe. They bit through the wood with the same effects as her former teammate, Kimimaro's Finger Bullet Drill technique, plus speed.

Suddenly, the firing ceased. Still clinging to her branch, she slowly turned her head and stared once at her opponent, wide-eyed. As he had his lower jaw hung down in withdrawal from his previous attack, her mouth was hung open from shock to match.

Hearing a cracking sound, she turned back to the top of the tree where she had last been. Ever slowly, the top began to peel off at the seams, and ten seconds later, it snapped off from the rest of the tree, and began to drift slowly towards the ground.

Tayuya slowly turned her head in a shivering fashion back towards her enemy with horror dabbed in her eyes.

Sasori quickly took note of this, snapping his jaw quickly back in place, and without his cowl, Tayuya could see for sure that he was grinning. Only that it wasn't the annoying grin that she had predicted – it was simply…scary. All of his teeth were exposed…and where the hell were his lips? He looked like something from a Lions Gate horror movie.

"Hate to say: you made me do it." Was Sasori's reply to Tayuya's silent timidity.

Immediately she reverted from being scared to angry, her face showing everything as it formed a scowl. Typical Tayuya.

"Fuckweed! You're nothing special!"

"Eh?" Sasori replied curiously, his mouthpieces clicking noisily as he spoke without his cowl.

Tayuya threw herself to her feet on the branch that she clung from and took her flute up again, this time, holding it directly in front of her to Sasori.

She continued. "I told you once before, shithead, I am not to be screwed with!" She proceeded to calm herself, closing her eyes with a sigh, and then slowly opening them again. "I don't care _how_ many people you kill." She went on after pausing. "People get killed by other people in war, but that doesn't make them stronger than anyone else." Her calmed expression slowly turned into an unfriendly smile. "Heh. I knew that you couldn't hold up forever. Now that I know that you're tangible, I know that you're screwed!"

"Well, if you suddenly want to go through all that again, about who kills who, I invite you to have the first laugh." Sasori replied. "After all, it wasn't like I could kill you anytime I wanted to, simply lashing and parrying all of your cronies' attacks simply to pass the time while my guys kill your guys whilst you frantically bound from tree to tree to avoid getting hit yourself while I sat in one place up until now having been hit successfully yet non-fatally one time pulled off luckily by you."

Tayuya was dumb-founded.

"…Or anything like that." Sasori quickly finished with a triumphant, yet still scary grin.

That did it.

Tayuya clenched her teeth tightly, and her knuckles were now white from squeezing so hard, even as she held her flute in one hand. It's a miracle that the metal didn't bend. At any rate, she was fed up.

'_Damn him, I haven't been this pissed off since…well yesterday, actually. Alright, dipshit. I'll show you the extent of my abilities. I'll show you what happens when someone screws around with me! Still, I can't believe how well he held up against the Cursed Seal...he's tough. Level 2.'_

She muttered curses silently under her breath that she had been forced to do this; her jagged markings turned a fire-lit color. Sasori watched, wagging his metal tail behind his back like a curious puppy as her skin enveloped into a dark tan color. Her hair grew long, and eventually, the cap that she wore was shredded into ruin as the pieces fell to the ground to make place for the horns growing in. Her hair drifted gracefully in the sky breeze as she breathed in the new yet familiar feeling of power. She slowly and elegantly opened her eyes to her opponent, her golden pupils shone brightly out of a black background as she leered at him, no longer swayed with fear at the shocking aura within his.

Sasori felt the urge to back away a bit, but fought it and stood his ground. The immense chakra coming from this girl…it… almost matched his! This was no longer the frail little girl that he had picked a fight with in the beginning. She was in a whole different league now. And Sasori could not grasp exactly how powerful that she was now - only that she was definitely different.

She grinned evilly at him with extra effect that her Second State form had to offer, and with flute in hand, she called her Doki back to her side.

"Not bad..." Sasori looked over Tayuya's new form; starting from her feet, and then gradually working his way up to her face. "Does this mean that you're ready to cut the childish games, and I can actually _begin _to fight?" Sasori was taken aback only slightly by the new level of power that now stood in front of him, but there was no way that he would bring himself to show that kind of weakness. Even if it were a little of it.

"I hope that you've enjoyed your delusions of invincibility…" Tayuya started. "...because from this point on, I'm going to teach you how vulnerable a person can really be!"

"Let's go."

Sasori threw off his baggy garments to reveal the rest of his figure: a man on all fours with a metal contraption on one of his arms to match the tail, an unusual piece of armor for his main body, with what appeared to be a giant face-like shell. As Tayuya narrowed her eyes, she could see where the tail, moving almost alive, contracted from the mouthpiece.

"Say," Sasori added, while holding the position. "I wonder how the rest of the family is doing right now."


	5. The TwoSided Skirmish

**A/N: Righto, lads and lasses. If you are upset at me for not showing you any fluff in the early chapters, then I understand. It will all come eventually, I promise you. For now, let us have a bit more fun with the Sasuke Retrieval Arc. Since I included it in my summary, I wanted to be sure and get at least four good, long chapters of action, which I am sure in the actual show, there were a lot more. Read on, viewers; I hope you are not ready to call it quits on my story just yet!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

**Chapter 4: The Two-Sided Skirmish**

Birds took to their branches, and started singing their signature tunes. The worst was over with; the birds reveled in the afternoon tranquility of their wide forestry home. It was nice and dark under the canopy, perfect for resting. It had an almost safe feeling. Water droplets dripped off of the tip of leaves in the background, signifying that it had probably rained just a day ago.

Then suddenly, something jet through the branches, causing them to all flutter away frantically. Someone was making their way through the canopy – someone fast. Several of the birds were almost forcefully knocked off of their perches, had they not cleared away a second sooner. It was clear that whoever this was is in a hurry, and nothing was going to get in the way between him and his destination.

Feathers of blue and white drifted ever slowly as two more jets of black shot after the previous one, causing great turbulence to them, and further more altered their destinations toward the ground because of the tremendous speed.

Kimimaro continued to leap through the high trees, branch after branch without making any sign of slowing down. In his arm, he held the cylindrical container of one of the last of the Uchiha clan, whom his master viewed as a new vessel, one group viewed as a friend, and another viewed as bait for a certain tailed beast. Kimimaro quickly looked back to see if the anonymous foes were still keeping up with him – which they were. He quickly turned his head back, and looked on, his emerald eyes shone brightly next to two small, red spots decorating the center of his forehead. Effortlessly picking up the pace, he shot through the dark under layer of the forest.

He was running out of time…

Behind him, the two missing nins were keeping close watch on the Sound shinobi, making sure he didn't try anything funny. They weren't actually _trying_ to catch him; not just yet. They both agreed that it was best to let the chase go on a bit longer, before they came to a large, open area, convenient for fighting, prior to their current area, closed in with suffocating branches. There was no real urgency, since the Sound village was still half a day away, assuming you chose to sprint rapidly the whole time.

As if to answer the circumstances, a greater light started to seep out through the trees in their destined direction, and as they sped forward, the darkened forest began to illuminate itself. Then, the two saw their target leap out through the bright clearing of trees, and into the open.

The two simultaneously nodded slowly to each other, and then resumed facing forward.

The light was blinding, and to some extent, overpowering. Having spent the entire day on a wild chase through dark passages over and under the tree branches, the sudden intake of light was not very keen on their eyes, mainly Itachi's, for that matter. His partner had constantly warned him not keep his Sharingan activated for such extensive periods of time, due to the ever so convenient blinding symptom of overuse that it comes with. He had once believed that he could use the limitless supply of power that the Mangekyo had to offer without consequence, but he supposed that was a lousy theory on his part. Lord knows, he was going blind. He had thought that it was only a rumor, but experienced quite differently as he started bumping into things more and more often. Ultimate weapon of the Uchiha clan? What a load of shit.

Delving onto the last branch before the clearing, Itachi and Kakuzu focused extra chakra under their feet, preparing to cover as much land as possible with one last jump.

Using their weight to their advantage, they timed the release of the jump just right, and with a final, hard push off of the last branch, they shot head-first through the opening…

…and found themselves in a lush, green, wide open field.

How many meters of distance that they covered, neither of them knew. But they went _far._ As they made their landing, they both squinted up to find that they were only a few good meters away from their opponent – and they would have it no other way. This place was perfect for a fight, no matter what jutsu you would use.

Kimimaro had suddenly stopped dashing, and gracefully set down Sasuke's barrel. He realized that he need go no further – if he wanted to clean up any _persistent_ trash, now was the time and place.

With only the elegance of a Kayuga clansman, he turned towards his two mystery opponents. He took a quick look over their apparel. Interesting…he had no idea what village or faction wore those dangerous colors. Their headbands bore long, ugly scars, so it was little wonder that two villages out there were missing some of their shinobi. One village he recognized instantly, on Itachi's forehead. The symbol of a leaf.

Kimimaro turned towards Itachi.

"Hmph." He scoffed slightly yet in an obviously mocking way. "So you're a missing ninja of the Village Hidden in the Leaves as well, are you? Well if you are no longer affiliated with Leaf activities, then what do you care for this boy so much?"

Itachi paused a while before answering.

"It's not that boy that we're after. Just the prize that follows him." Itachi stated simply.

"Prize?" Kimimaro responded. "This is Lord Orochimaru's prize. He will never allow such filth as you to achieve it. You may as well go home, right now."

Itachi said nothing. Nor did he need to. He usually let his rather intimidating eyes hold a conversation for him – mostly the arguments. Quite often, a person was quick to shut up after given a short glance from his crimson eyes…unless of course they were completely stupid. Believe it or not, the world had a few of those. May they rest in pieces.

Kakuzu, on the other hand, did not take being shooed away quite as well. He turned his concealed head slightly towards his temporary partner and impatiently peered over at him.

"Itachi…" He inquired.

"Yeah. I know." He heard his teammate respond out through his uniform's neckband.

Green met red as Kimimaro stared him in the eyes long and hard. He was amazed at how equally calm Itachi's expression was, yet still able to give off that same terrifying aura of hostility the same as he was. For several minutes, those eyes continued to pierce into each other, never once blinking; never once backing down from the other.

"You still don't understand…" Itachi finally said without breaking eye-contact. "…so I won't make you understand. You don't _need_ to understand. For misguided fools such as you, I just say that it's best to let them do all the talking for themselves. I find it difficult to argue with one who will not listen to reason."

He and Kakuzu both heard a sneer from across. "What bold words. So far, the only ones who have proven themselves fools have been the Leaf's genin…" he lightly shifted his eye from Itachi to Kakuzu. "…and yours truly." He finished with eyes on him earning a well-deserved glare from two opaque, lifeless eyes.

Itachi heard Kakuzu grumble under his mask from where he was at. As Itachi glanced at him from the corner of his eye, he watched as his teammate made a threatening step forward, towards Kimimaro. Itachi then proceeded to close his eyes calmly, as he often did to concentrate, or to remain patient with the other members.

"It's good to see you again…" he said suddenly, earning a confused look from his teammate.

"…_Naruto._" He finished as he opened his eyes again and looked straight on, not bothering even to turn his head. He sensed that there was another person with him, but paid him little heed.

Kakuzu knew that this was the time to look back. And sure enough, as he turned himself around, a bright-orange jumpsuit instantly caught his dead eye.

"Haaaaah? You know this brat, Itachi?"

Naruto growled loudly at the snide 'brat' comment. He tightened his hand into a fist, preparing to deck the person that would call him that.

Itachi closed his eyes in response to his teammate's question.

"That…" he started, pausing before he finished. "Would be our Nine-Tailed Fox."

Kakuzu shifted his hollowed eyes to his partner, and then back at the younger ninja. "What? This kid??"

He turned back to get a closer look at his objective target's appearance. He had golden blond hair, and…what the hell, were those whiskers on his face, or scars?

Kakuzu squinted to look more accurately. It didn't help the fact that his eyes were getting far too old to use anymore. Most of his body was now nothing better than a pile of lace, stitches, and used ragwear. Almost all of his vital processes have gone to shit, and save for the five hearts that kept him alive and the chakra flow that came with it that enabled his body to move, he would have no better promises for Akatsuki than as a practice dummy, or a scarecrow. He grudged at the remembrance of how frail and inferior his body was getting. Thank whoever runs the God business for his slow decomposition rate, but still, maybe its high-time that he learned how to transplant organs other than just hearts.

Kakuzu closed his eyes with anger and bitterness as he realized something…shadows of his memories. It was all because of _them._

_They _did this to him.

_They _made him become the thing that he was…

A walking corpse.

A half-life.

He would never forget what they had put him through. Back in that damned village...in that damned facility they called a _hospital._ Hospitals. Hospitals are meant to help their patients, fix people!

He...is not..._'fixed'._

Kakuzu's glare softened a little, but only a little.

There was also..._her._

She was so beautiful. How could she have...how could she have abandoned him? Was she not happy? Was there something he did wrong? How could it happen like it did?! Kakuzu asked himself these questions as he watched his plentiful amount of lifetimes fade away, and he still does not yet have an answer for any of them. It just didn't make sense. But no matter how much it hurt his body, no matter how much it scratched his mind, no matter how _much _it prolonged the here-after, he will find all of those answers before he dies!

But his work is _far _from finished. As long as at least one of his hearts still beat true, he would hunt down every single one of them. Yes, hunt them all down…and kill them. Destroy them. Make them struggle for their measly little lives. And he would _enjoy_ doing this, too, all the while, not letting them escape out of their lives that easy. All the way down to the bittersweet end, and he would revel in it. He would never forget what they had done to him.

Never.

Kakuzu clenched his fist so tight, that Itachi could hear the seams that kept his knuckles sewn together strain from where he was at. And what was laid in Kakuzu's eyes…was bitter hatred. His eyes glazed with it, and his forehead around them crinkled up from glaring so furiously. And the unfortunate person, who he was facing while he bore that look, was Uzumaki Naruto. Kakuzu wasn't upset with him in particular, but he sure was setting himself up for that perspective.

Naruto froze like a frightened deer as he stared at him with sheer terror written all over his face. That look was about enough to freak anybody out.

Shikamaru, who stood adjacent to Naruto, blinked a few times in surprise from the heated glare that his teammate was getting.

"Whoa. Man, Naruto. What did you say to this guy to get him so ticked?" He whispered to him.

Naruto snapped his head to face Shikamaru, and flailed his arms around in a comical fashion. "I-I dunno, Shikamaru!! I-I've never seen this guy before in my life!!" He shouted with a comical expression, waving his arms around frantically.

Shikamaru gave him a slightly surprised look, before turning back to face the complete strangers. He knew from past experiences that if a person greets a complete stranger with a face that evil, then their background life must be _very_ troublesome.

Itachi turned his head towards Kakuzu, who kept glaring on non-responsively. Then he closed his eyes and sighed. He really hated it when things like this would happen at such awkward times. And as if he could read his mind, Itachi knew what all the fuss was about. He patiently tried to think up something to say to get his teammate out of the mood he was in. No avail; go with Approach 1: call their name.

"Kakuzu." He said sternly to his far-off teammate.

As if a hex had been torn away, he jolted slightly in response, snapping his head towards Itachi.

"What? What happened?" He quickly asked, rubbing his eye as if he had just been interrupted from a slumber.

"Nothing." Itachi replied simply, turning away.

"Oh, okay." Kakuzu said with relief.

"…Apart from you having scared the hell out of our tailed beast." He calmly finished.

Kakuzu looked as if he had just been struck by a lightning jutsu.

"Did I seriously…?"

"Yep."

Just another day in Akatsuki: some member going off to randomly scare someone else. Tobi would blab on to the Leader about it, but all that Leader said about it was that if people didn't like how his subordinates acted, that they could just cram all of their complaints up their…

"Cracks the others up every time you do that to someone…a shame that it had to be _me_ with you this time…" Itachi added bitterly.

"Wh-what was THAT all about? What did I do?!" Naruto asked, still shaken up from the ever-fearsome death ray.

Itachi calmly turned his head to look at his objective again. Hellish red eyes met sky blue, as Itachi waited to give him his answer.

"Relax, child." He told him, trying to sound polite. "He wasn't angry at you…he was merely having a flashback."

"Ohhhhh." Naruto responded as if the situation was completely natural.

"So then…does he normally use that facial expression?" Shikamaru asked.

Itachi closed his eyes. "…Only during a flashback." He replied simply.

Suddenly, Itachi didn't feel like answering anymore questions. He was losing sight of the mission. What was he doing…? Before another conversation could form, Itachi decided to get to the real point.

"Naruto, I would like you to come with us…" Itachi said calmly, using the same approach he had last time they met, back at Konoha, with his partner, Kisame. They would have had him by now, if not for the legendary Toad Sannin interfering with their plan.

To Itachi's chagrin, the kid was not all that dense as he looked. Naruto firmly shook his head, with his arms crossed.

"No way! I don't know who that guy is…" He shouted as he pointed an obnoxious finger at Kakuzu, who glared at him for real reasons this time.

"…but I know who _you_ are! You beat the crap out of Sasuke and fought with Pervy Sage!!"

Itachi gave him a rarely used confused look. "…pervy…sage…?" He questioned quietly. Did he mean the Toad Sage, Jiraiya? Well whatever he meant, Itachi could care less. But refusing was a poor, _poor_ decision to make on the Fox's part. Time to exploit that.

"Well, if you're not going to come with us on your own…" Itachi slightly turned his head back to his teammate. "Kakuzu…"

"Yeah, I'm on it." He replied blatantly as he pulled out one of his masks. "Is that other bastard still watching us?"

Itachi turned around to find the source of the answer still standing next to his brother's hollow case.

"Yeah." Itachi replied, without turning away from Kimimaro. "It's amazing that he hasn't tailed off yet…" He muttered. "Remember," he added one last time, as he turned his head back to his tag team partner. "Leader wants the Bijuu _alive_."

"Hey, I know that better than my idiot partner does, okay?" Kakuzu responded irritably.

Itachi nodded slightly. It was true. There were worse people to be stuck fighting alongside with, and Hidan would count as one of them – more of a nuisance than an actual ally that you could count on.

"Cover me."

"Alright."

"…no more flashbacks."

"ALRIGHT!"

With that, Itachi did a quick cross finger as he conjured up a shadow replica of himself.

As it dashed up to Kimimaro, Naruto was using the exact same technique. He quickly mimicked the same cross fingers sign that Itachi did, preparing to activate his signature move.

"Naruto." Shikamaru interrupted him.

Naruto turned and looked at him with puzzle in his eye. "What, Shikamaru?!" He asked impatiently.

"Be careful." Shikamaru finished. "We have no idea what these guys are capable of, and we barely even made it past the Sound nins. Don't lose your head."

Naruto nodded hesitantly, before turning back to what he was doing.

"**Kage Bunshin no Jutsu! (Need I **_**really**_** translate what that means?)"**

In an instant, an entire mass of shadow clones were created in Naruto's image. Kakuzu barely had enough time to count fifteen of them as they charged up at him, yelling loudly and obnoxiously.

Thinking quickly, he held his mask up with both hands to the first wave of oncoming shadow clones. The eyes of the face started to glow with a bright red, as the mouth slowly cracked open, all on its own.

"Out of the frying pan…" he began. He waited until he was up with the first one to finish his cliché line. The mask finally clicked in reaction, almost as if it knew where the enemy was.

"…AND INTO THE FIRE!"

A titanic streak of fire blew out of the mouthpiece and into the clones. It was like Sasuke's Fireball Jutsu, but without the lame handsigns. As the jet stream tore through the gigantic group of unsuspecting shadow clones, Shikamaru tried to find a way close enough to the enemy without getting deep-fried himself.

But the old ninja was very much aware, as he had to pay little attention for an attack with such a large radius. Shrugging slightly, Kakuzu calmly reached into his body for his second mask. When he pulled it lose, he aimed it at Shikamaru, while his other arm supported the mask that was currently being used to obliterate pesky shadow clones in the other direction.

Shikamaru, who was down in his hand position to get ready for a shadow-user jutsu, looked up at the mask being held to him, and noticed that prior to the first one, this mask had blue ceremonial markings painted on its face. Before he could extend his shadow to his foe, the masks eyes began to glow with a steel blue, and the mouth shot open.

"Oh, this is bad!" Shikamaru thought out loud.

Seconds later, ice poured out of the mouth as a great, freezing blue beam spat out and rushed towards him. Knowing that this was a bad time to be lazy, Shikamaru jumped away from the beam as it ran across the perimeter of the area, freezing the trees in the background in a long, gigantic sweep.

To the genin and chunin, this was Hell.

To Kakuzu, this was good, clean, ass-kicking fun.

* * *

_A few meters away-_

Itachi, who had remained stationary since the fighting started, had been continuously flanking Kimimaro with single shadow duplicates, and upon impact, those duplicates would explode against him. Only so far, all that it has done was knock him back, and give him immense third degree burns, only to have the tissue heal immediately after. So much for Deidara's approach on things. It didn't take a genius out of Itachi to know when someone had some special blood limit.

As the fight started, Itachi had the happy privilege of watching his enemy pull a bone out of his shoulder and hold it up like a sword to threaten him. A fun fact to completely ignore and defy the laws of biology. Since his movements were not impeded from the instant loss of a bone, and a big one at that, it was obvious to Itachi that this foe had some apparent regenerative capability. _That's_ why explosions won't cut it.

Itachi and Kimimaro both snapped their heads in the same direction on time to catch glimpse of the gigantic blue beam that was coming towards them from off to the side. Thinking quickly, both of them ducked their heads to avoid getting frozen. Itachi shot a brief glare at his teammate for his crappy aim before turning his thoughts back to his opponent.

Itachi took a deep, exasperated sigh, knowing full well that he may have to go to some extent to damage his eyes further with the more powerful eye techniques. But those would have to be for last resort. This guy was unique, but since he serves under Orochimaru, then he's obviously weaker than Orochimaru, and Itachi recalled a rather amusing time when he kicked Orochimaru's ass.

No…eye techniques won't be necessary for this fight.

Kimimaro saw that Itachi's thinking was biding him time that he was anticipating, so he decided to let loose another bone, this time out from the palm of his hand. He now had two sharp, durable swords.

"Alright…let me warm up first with my most basic technique, the Camellia Dance."

Itachi was unclear as to what this meant, but he was quick to act on the defensive for a close-range attack as Kimimaro dashed at him with his bones in hand. When Kimimaro neared him in the distance of five meters, he swiftly lifted one of his swords, and proceeded to begin his combo. With a streak of lightning-quick speed, he made quick cuts and thrusts at Itachi, who swiftly dodged each one as if it were child's play.

Finally deciding to act on the offensive, Itachi drew a kunai, and made a quick, horizontal slice at Kimimaro, who in return, easily parried it with his second sword.

Still holding his knife pressed against the sword, Itachi automatically gathered that the bones were not normal. An average human bone would have been sliced in half from the force that Itachi used, even though he himself was more about the genjutsu than the taijutsu.

"Interesting." Itachi said, not losing his calm tone as he faced Kimimaro up close. "You seem to have increased the density of your own bones."

"You mean you haven't heard of the Kaguya clan? Of how we are able to manipulate the source of calcium concentration in our bones?" Kimimaro hinted. "These bones are stronger than steel. We can rapidly increase the density of each of our bones, and even multiply the number. For instance…"

He briefly cut off as he and Itachi both pushed each other away off of their weapons with great force, each fighter sliding back ten feet, and kicking up a sizeable mound of dirt as they stopped.

Kimimaro continued. "The amount of bones in an average human is two-hundred and six. But with my blood limit ability, that number easily means nothing. If I need a bone, I simply make one. This…" Sharp, curved bones shot out of Kimimaro's chest and all around his body as he spread his arms out wide. "…is Shikotsumyaku, my Kekkei Genkai."

Itachi looked dully at him. He had, in fact heard of the infamous Kaguya clan, which enjoyed killing and slaughter for their own entertainment. It was a clan that was thought to have met in with extinction. Yet here he was, standing right in front of a member.

"No wonder…" Itachi started, as Kimimaro's external bones sank back into his body from the display. "You're a member of the fabled Kaguya clan that was recently, up until now, believed to be gone."

"I am the last of my clan, and as such, this ability is mine alone." Kimimaro stated.

"Hmph." Itachi sneered softly. "A barbaric, shallow clan that chose its own demise before it could even come up for air. Your bloodline is nearly dead, and by the end of today, I will have seen to the end of the last member before anyone else has even realized that it still had somehow survived up to this point. Prepare to join those other fools."

Kimimaro scowled deeply at these remarks.

"You, who speak of such trifle things as barbarianism…I know who you are. The man who is said to have slaughtered his own kin and brethren." Kimimaro leaned forward to exercise his words. "Uchiha Itachi. Clanslayer."

Itachi leered at the bone shinobi…long and hard. He wanted to see in his eyes for certain that he was as bold as he was letting himself on to be. And indeed he was.

"Let me guess…your master told you about me. But did he also speak of the time when I so easily dispatched him?"

Kimimaro did indeed hear from Orochimaru about the man who conquered his entire clan single-handedly. But he brought up no such mention of losing to him in battle.

Despite this, Kimimaro grimaced. It did not look like this guy was attempting a lie.

"I see. Well then…if that's what you're asking for, then I'll show you the Larch Dance." He spoke harshly. Two more bones shot out of each of his shoulders, giving him a total of six blades to use to his advantage.

"Come…" Itachi motioned him forward with his hand. "Your destiny has arrived…"

Kimimaro, with his blades, proceeded to dash at Itachi, who calmly stood his ground.

* * *

_Meanwhile-_

The masks continued to wry their destruction upon the two struggling genin. Bright red and blue beamed two different directions as Kakuzu held them up to place. Occasionally, he would wave the masks' assigned directions around slightly to intensify the radius of his elementals and spread the butter.

While Naruto continued to batter alongside the brightly colored fires with his shadow clones, Shikamaru struggled to think straight while constantly moving around to avoid becoming a Snow nin, literally.

Kakuzu too had remained stationary since the battle began, not having to move much, since his masks did all the work for him from where he was at. They were loyal little toys, each created by him in different design to house their separate hearts and use their given element properly. He curiously wondered how long it would take these children to realize that he wasn't even trying. If he was _really_ trying, he'd have all five hearts out and ready to go. Watching them jump around frantically was funny and he had his fill.

But now he was getting bored. Bored. _Bored_.

If the village wanted their Uchiha runt back so badly, they should have sent their jounin to fetch him themselves. Has the Hokage's method of thinking been spoiled over the ages? That's exactly why he disapproves of monarchy – you never know when the bloodline will yield someone who can't run their village right.

His right mask instantly stopped spouting fire, and Kakuzu turned his head to see that there were no more shadow clones to char. There was only one very annoying tailed beast standing a good distance away. So he went ahead and ceased fire with his second mask, cutting Shikamaru loose. After re-attaching his masks to his torso, he let his arms drop to the side in that calm pose that only an Akatsuki member could pull off.

_'__Time to get this over with.'_ Kakuzu announced to himself impatiently.

"I'm done messing with you brats. First off, I don't even know what you two were thinking, challenging someone like me. I have experience that neither of you will ever gain."

Shikamaru was currently catching his breath on the far left side of the Akatsuki, but attempted to respond anyways.

"Please… Just…how old…could ya possibly be…?" He asked in between breaths.

Kakuzu turned his lifeless eyes over to him. "Older than you, kid…older than you."

A loud growl caught his attention. He turned his head to look back at Naruto.

Call his eyesight crappy, but he thought the Jinchuuriki looked…different. His hair looked more feral, and his scars were much more noticeable now. His canine teeth looked much sharper than they had been last, and his pupils were blood-red.

"Like we care…" He basically growled through his words. "This is your last chance – get out of our way!"

Kakuzu set a responsive glare in Naruto's direction.

"So you _are_ the Nine-Tailed Fox. I never thought that I would have the pleasure of seizing the most powerful tailed beast, but I guess today I was destined by the Hand of Fate to face you. A shame that the vessel had to be such a ranting runt." Kakuzu taunted.

Naruto clenched his new fangs together so tight, that his entire mouth was shaking at the effort.

"Had you been older and more experienced with Kyuubi's power, the battle would have in the very least been the more epic and exciting battle that I would have anticipated."

"Naruto, don't listen to him!" Shikamaru interrupted him. "Don't you see what he's doing? He's playing you like a card! Like a Shogi piece! _Don't listen to him!_"

"Well I never caught on to Shogi, but I'm one hell of a card dealer." Kakuzu added, completely twisting Shikamaru's words.

"We came for Sasuke," Naruto started, his voice coarse with hostility. "…and if you're gonna get in the way of that, I'll grind you into the dirt!!"

Naruto did his cross fingers ninjutsu pose again. **"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"** Five shadow clones formed around him.

'…_Shadow clones again?'_ Kakuzu complained to himself.

The clones shot at Kakuzu with such surprising speed prior to before, that Kakuzu didn't even have enough time to pull out his next mask by the time that the first one rounded him in the chest, kicking him high up into the air.

'_What?! This…this is different.'_ Kakuzu barely had the time to process this information as another clone slammed into him in mid air, followed by another, with each hit came a syllable.

"U!" "Zu!" "Ma!" "Ki!"

The real Naruto flipped into the air behind the unsuspected ninja. "Naruto Rendan!"

He threw a splitting final kick downward into Kakuzu's face, causing him to fall hard to the ground, and create a descent sized crater on impact.

-Boom!-

Naruto and Shikamaru stared side-by-side at the gigantic dust cloud that rose up as a result from the ungraceful landing. That had to hurt.

"Great job, Naruto." Shikamaru complemented his teammate.

Naruto grinned triumphantly at his achievement.

The dust cloud started to clear away…

Clearing…

…Yep…

…Still clearing…

…Any day now…

Their eyes widened in disbelief as a stitched arm reached out of the huge crater, trembling slightly from the trauma. Slowly, the rest of his body followed it out.

Naruto and Shikamaru both had their jaws dropped; no way could an ordinary rank take a licking like that and recover so fast. As they stared and watched, Kakuzu dusted off his uniform.

"Wow." Kakuzu held his hand up to one of his eyes, which the open still glazed with amusement at what just happened. "That really _was_ different."

'_How…how did he…'_ Even Shikamaru couldn't solve that puzzle.

Kakuzu instantly read their faces. "What? Did you really think that was it? I may be a little old, but my body doesn't break that easily."

Then it dawned on Shikamaru. Of course the old corpse couldn't keep stitched together by himself - he needed some passive-effective jutsu to keep up and going. "He must have some jutsu that involves hardening his body."

"Great, so now what?" Naruto asked, obviously annoyed that one of his signature moves didn't cut it.

"Oh, come on now, don't fuss." Kakuzu cut into their self-planning. "You were doing so well – did you think that I would get damaged from such a weak, insufficient, measly…"

Something made Kakuzu drag off his speech. He stuck his hand into his coat and began shuffling around inside of it, looking for something. He finally touched it – and the texture didn't make him too happy. He pulled it out to look at it, and his eyes widened with anger.

Thick, inky substance oozed out of the object as he held it to the Leaf genin.

"What is this? Can either of you tell me what this is?!" Kakuzu asked, his deep voice increasing in volume at them.

Shikamaru grinned seeing the item that he held up; cracks completely disfigured the surface, the face no longer recognizable. "Your mask…appears to be broken, huh?"

"Does the mask look happy? _Does it look happy??_" Kakuzu was outraged as he continued to hold his ruined possession up to them.

The two slowly shook their heads, smiling. _They_ certainly looked happy.

"It's not the _mask_," Kakuzu corrected, venom dripping from his words. "The masks are reconstructable – easy to replace! I want you to take a damn closer look!"

Naruto and Shikamaru squinted into the big, gushing gash that covered the center. The mask was far away and the fluid was dark, so they could just barely make out the vital organ on the inside that was now smashed beyond recognition.

Shikamaru, being the first to correctly identify it, looked a little disgusted at what the sight was telling him.

"It's…a heart?"

"A heart? Eeeeewwww, gross!" Naruto added immaturely, crossing his arms like a child and sticking his tongue out in repulse.

"A heart? Yes a heart… YOU LITTLE BASTARDS JUST DID IN ONE OF MY PRECIOUS HEARTS!! HOW DARE YOU!!" He shouted as hard as his decrepit voice would allow. Surprisingly loud.

Naruto shot up in surprise, while Shikamaru calmly closed his eyes and held a finger in one of his ears.

"Getting yelled at is soooooo troublesome…"

"I'm gonna mess you two up so bad, that they'll never even find all of your pieces! I'll strew your body parts all over this field!!" He finished zealously.

"Kakuzu, don't do anything that you'll regret later." He heard Itachi's voice in the distance.

He quickly turned in his direction. "Well can I eviscerate?"

"No." The voice called back.

"Amputate?"

"No."

"Concuss?"

"No."

"Not even do some slight, _slight_ permanent damage?"

"The vessel must remain perfectly intact. We don't want to do anything to disrupt the flow of the chakra when we extract the Bijuu."

"Fine," Kakuzu turned his body back towards the two Leaf nins. "...But I will hurt him a little." He finished quickly.

He heard an annoyed sigh in the background as he turned his head menacingly to his foes, giving them his undivided attention.

"I had no real reason to be angry with you before, Fox brat." He pointed out. "But now I'm really pissed off! And if you thought that I looked scary before, you ain't seen nothing yet!!"

Naruto gave him a defiant fox glare in response, bearing his sharp teeth, once again.

Kakuzu moved his hand in to detach another mask from his torso. This one had eye sockets that glowed with a silverish color. Its mouth latched open as it prepared to shoot, and Naruto and Shikamaru saw static build up all around it. It rumbled like a miniature powerhouse as Kakuzu connected it to his chest, using his main chakra source to fuel the energy.

When it was fully charged, Kakuzu held the mask up higher to them.

"NOW TAKE THIS!!"

On cue, a long streak of lightning crackled out and reached swiftly towards them.

As sudden as the bolt emerged, however, a green blotch shot out of nowhere before the lightning could even reach the two and the surge was cut off abruptly as the mask was kicked out of the attacker's hand. As it went spiraling through the air, Kakuzu closed one of his glassy eyes shut in a wince, anticipating the sound of another of his prize possessions shattering. But he heard nothing. As he looked back, he saw that his mask had landed on the plush grass without any damage.

Kakuzu jumped back a ways distance on instinct, dodging another spin kick, and all the while, glaring his eyes at the disrupter.

"And who might you be?" He snarled angrily at the green figure.

"It is I…" A voice familiar to Naruto and Shikamaru began. A voice that they were happy to hear.

"The Leaf Village's Handsome Devil…" The figure struck a taijutsu pose, but Kakuzu could just barely catch half of his face, underneath a patch of rounded, shining black hair. The most noticeable of his features alongside a bushy eyebrow, an eye brimming with confidence among it.

"…Rock Lee!"


	6. Another Jinchuuriki Appears!

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

**Chapter 5: Another Jinchuuriki Appears!**

It took quite a moment for Naruto and Shikamaru to finally soak in the fact that a kid who was seriously injured, thought to never become a shinobi again had just rushed in, swiftly saved their lives, and was now standing right in the middle of the battle field.

Kakuzu paused in the same way, but for the reason of trying to think of who the hell would come smack in with a Beatles haircut, thick eyebrows, completely circular eyes, wearing green pajamas with extremely tight pants…pants that are a little _too_ extremely tight. What kind of self-respecting ninjas would wear this kind of stuff? Not that the bright orange jumpsuit wasn't enough.

"Wha-what are YOU doing here?!" Naruto asked in shrill surprise at the green figure standing tall in between them and the enemy. "Hey! Bushy Brow! You're already…!"

Rock Lee didn't respond for a moment. He instead kept his attentiveness on the opponent that he was currently facing. He and Kakuzu were glaring each other down in deathly intent, both remaining silent as they let their facial expressions do all the talking for them.

Rock Lee held his taijutsu pose to make sure the Akatsuki wouldn't rush him, before turning his head slightly to face Naruto with one eye shining with confidence to answer his question.

"I am fine! You did not seriously think that a near fatal injury and a critical condition could slow down the spirit of youth!"

Shikamaru was down on his knee from exhaustion as he struggled to get up to reason with the high-strong ninja.

"You shouldn't be down here, Lee. The Hokage's orders were that you stay in the hospital. You don't know how long your body's gonna hold out after being bedridden."

He cut himself off briefly as he and his teammates snapped their heads to Kakuzu, their eyes wide at what he was doing.

Kakuzu had shot his hand like a grappling hook towards the mask that Rock Lee had kicked away from him earlier. The only think that kept his hand connected with his upper arm was a thick, black wiring, similar to the inky substance that was seeping out of his broken weapon when he showed it off to Naruto and Shikamaru in anger.

As the hand made contact with the mask on the ground, he slowly reeled it back in like a fish on a rod, all the while he continued to face the chunin and two genin even as his arm resumed normal length and he had his mask back.

"How interesting." Rock Lee stated.

"This is your only chance going gone. Go back to the village now, Lee! Me and Naruto will hold him off so that you can escape."

But even at the start, Shikamaru knew that it was a fool's choice to talk Rock Lee into running away from a challenge. And even so, he wouldn't put in so much energy into reasoning with anyone. He already knew how this argument was going to end. He briefly wondered to himself why he even bothered in the first place.

"No. I am staying to help you with this threat. You know that this foe is far too powerful for you, alone." Rock Lee insisted. "You also should already know that there is no way that I would run from such a worthy looking opponent!"

"Forget it, Bushy Brow! You have to go back to the hospital!" Naruto cut in, being far too dense to know as well as Shikamaru of Rock Lee's fiery dedication to the fight.

"Naruto!" Rock Lee interrupted him.

Naruto looked up with surprise at his friend in front of him.

Rock Lee raised his arm up to one side as he continued to face Kakuzu, who raised his arm higher with his mask at hand.

Before anyone could respond, Rock Lee extended his thumb to Naruto as he continued facing towards his opponent. Kakuzu looked relatively confused at where this might go.

Rock Lee continued to hold his arm out to the side without facing his friends.

"The thumbs-up! Remember, Naruto? You gave it to Sakura when you promised that you would bring Sasuke back!"

Naruto's eyes shone bright at the remembrance of that promise to Sakura when the mission began.

* * *

_Flashback-_

_

* * *

_

"_Sakura." Naruto's voice echoed to the pink-haired kunoichi._

"_Huh…?" She raised her head to the owner of the voice, her eyes drenched with tears._

_What greeted her vision was a thumbs-up that Naruto held out to her as he grinned with widely with a confident smile._

"_I'll definitely bring Sasuke back!" He said to her without a hint of doubt. "…It's the promise of a lifetime!"_

* * *

_-End flashback_

_

* * *

_

"I promise you…" Rock Lee started with sheer confidence and devoid of any doubt as well. "…with all the fire that burns in my soul…" Naruto's eyes gradually widened; his light blue pupils shone brightly. "…I will not lose this fight!"

Naruto was unable to answer. He was too astonished by his short speech to say anything. This guy…he was just as confident as he himself was about fulfilling his promise to Sakura. He hardly even knew Sasuke, except as a minor rival at the Chunin Exams, yet here he was, right now, laying his life on the line for that very same person.

Naruto cracked a grin. He had to respect that. This guy…was one of a kind. Even if there was another older shinobi back in the village that liked to dress in green spandex and keep his eyebrows unkept as well.

But the entire mood was cut clean off, as everyone; everyone in the field sensed something unusual. Naruto, Rock Lee, Shikamaru, Kakuzu, Itachi and Kimimaro who had been fighting all through the moment, all turned their heads one by one at the barrel that held Sasuke.

Something was happening to it. Dark steam seemed to course its way out of the creases. It started slowly, but everyone could barely see that the quantity and movements of the gas were both increasing.

And everyone could sense some new power twisted inside of it as well.

Soon a soft, rumbling noise started in the barrel, as if something was about to emerge. Kimimaro turned his head back to smile at Itachi.

"Now comes a new destiny…"

-BOOM!-

As if on cue, and as if explosives had been placed inside of it, the entire barrel exploded soundly, burning all of the grass within a ten-foot radius.

Naruto's eyes widened again, and he felt his mouth slowly drop open.

Rock Lee and a wincing Shikamaru glared on, as well as Kakuzu, who had his back turned to them. No one could see through the purplish smoke for a good moment, as it continued to leave the earth. But then they saw a strange figure that no one was even familiar with, not even Naruto or Itachi. They squinted to see that the shadowy image had abnormally long hair.

Everyone was silent for a moment to come. As the smoke cleared, the long-haired form seemed to burn away, and at that point, gave to a form that almost _everyone_ was familiar with. All Itachi had to do to recognize him was look at the symbol of his clan on the back of his shirt. Damn vision-impairing property.

The entire group of fighters continued to stare at the newly emerged Sasuke. It was so incredibly silent that everyone could hear the wind blow through the field…the grass rustling so peacefully…crickets chirping at a nearby pond…the birds chirping- yeah, okay this is getting boring.

"HEY, ITACHI-SAAAAAN!!" Kakuzu and Itachi were snapped from their thoughts as they heard a familiar, painfully obnoxious voice come out from across another side of the field, yelling as hard as it possibly could.

Itachi responded by quickly dunking his head lower in annoyance of his name being called so immaturely in front of everyone, including his current opponent, the Nine-Tailed Fox, and his little brother.

He and Kakuzu turned their heads to glare over at their irritating teammate in response, not wanting to raise their voices to answer across the massive plains in words. They watched as he waved obnoxiously over at them from where he was at. Then he cuffed his hands over his masked mouth and yelled again.

"HOW LONG DO YOU THINK IT'S GONNA TAKE YOUR BROTHER TO FIGURE OUT THAT HE'S FACING THE WRONG WAY??"

Itachi faced away, closing his eyes softly and zipping his neckband up over his mouth. He really wished he wasn't here right now.

"HEY, GUYS! DID YOU HEAR WHAT I SA-"

"Damn it, Tobi! All of the Fire Country heard you! Could you possibly be any louder?!" Kakuzu shouted back at him in response.

"HUH?! YOU SAID YOU WANT ME TO BE _**LOUDER??**_" Tobi replied, yet even 'louder' than he was before…which in turn annoyed the other two Akatsuki even more.

**"NO!!"** Kakuzu retorted in even more frustrated tone of voice. His echo rang out through the background, and the faint sound of birds flocking away could be heard.

He turned back to see Tobi scratching the top of his head as he stood planted atop the steep hill in the far-out distance.

Itachi grudgedly accepted a dare with himself to crack open one of his eyes to peer at everyone else's expressions. Kimimaro still held a calm face as he stood holding his two swords. His brother still faced the other way, which led Itachi to suggest that he was even blinder than himself.

He then slightly shifted his head and eyes to the tailed beast and the other non-important leaf genin. The browed one still held his taijutsu stance, put that he was as frozen as a statue. But his eyes _were_ even wider than before. Scary.

Itachi shifted his eyes slightly more. The pony tailed one stood facing slightly the other direction with his arms crossed, and his eyes closed. Itachi saw that he was sighing and mumbling something lazily to himself. Itachi could barely read his lips from where he was at. 'Drug?' 'Drank?' 'Drag?' Whatever.

His last target showed something similar to what he thought that he would. The Nine-Tailed Fox had a comical expression as his eyes were the size of dinner plates. But as Itachi continued to watch, he shook it off, realizing that Sasuke was more important than the awkward moment going on right now.

"…Sasuke…?" He whispered, even though he knew that his best friend couldn't hear him. He slowly cracked a grin, which became a full smile, his teeth shone out as he called again with cheer.

"Sasuke!!" He shouted across the field, as loud as _he_ could possibly be.

"I DON'T THINK HE CAN HEAR YOU, LEAF PERSON! _**TRY BEING LOUDER!!**_" Tobi suggested unnecessarily from the background.

"What is it with people and the…yelling…?" Shikamaru mumbled to himself quietly, with his finger in one of his ears to block out the obnoxiously loud rants. Rock Lee maintained his pose as he glared on across the field confidently.

"Hey, Sasuke!" Naruto continued, happy as ever. "What are ya doin' with these idiots, huh?!" He waved over to him across the field, only to catch a non-responsive shoulder.

"Come on, everyone's waiting for you back at the village!"

"Sasuke! You do not want to let Sakura down, do you?" Rock Lee added. "She has been worried to tears because of you!"

Kakuzu and Itachi turned back to back with each other (which probably would have made a decent photograph, if you think about it). Their brightly colored uniforms drifted in the breeze as they faced opposite directions to different people. Kakuzu faced towards Naruto (who stood with Shikamaru and Rock Lee), while Itachi faced towards his brother (who faced away with Kimimaro standing close by). Itachi wondered if this was really the same foolish little brother that he knew before, as he didn't charge at him with killing intend when Tobi half-wittedly called out his name in front of everybody.

They decided to let this go on a bit longer, as they wanted to see how this would turn out. They remained silent as they held their positions and stared on to the genin.

"So…come on! Let's go, Sasuke! Let's…" Naruto's voice faded out. What is wrong with Sasuke? He's hardly acknowledging his friend. Not that he ever did that much before, but this…

The other Leaf ninjas and Itachi watched as Sasuke spread his arms out into a full arc without turning around, and grunted something. Was it…a laugh?

Everyone soon found out as Sasuke's insane chuckling gradually got quicker…louder… And finally, he had lost it completely, as his arms were still out open, and his shoulders moved wildly to match the rate of his laughter.

Itachi winced. Nope. The old Sasuke is pretty much shot. If _this _was Sasuke at all.

As he and Kakuzu continued facing back to back, Kakuzu turned his head back to Itachi's briefly and whispered "This is better than the soap opera that Zetsu watches."

Itachi didn't respond. He didn't have time to anyways, as his brother suddenly lunged away from the rest of the group at shocking speed. Everyone who knew Sasuke also knew that the speed that he used to go at was nothing compared to this. Something was not right… If it wasn't just the psychotic laughter that gave it away…

"Sasuke!!" Naruto shouted helplessly from where he was at as his best friend darted away.

"Right. This has gone on long enough." Kakuzu decided.

"I agree." Itachi responded from right behind him.

In a flash instant, Kimimaro appeared right in front of the two with his weapon drawn and prepared to slash. Both of them jumped separate ways. Kimimaro would now have to choose which person to go after, and the choice wasn't hard.

As Kimimaro dashed one direction for Itachi, Kakuzu got out another mask. This mask was grey. He held it to the three unsuspecting genin preparing to use a greater technique.

Shikamaru tried to be absolutely quick on briefing Rock Lee, while at the same time remaining aware for the coming attack.

"Watch yourself, Lee. This guy attacks with elemental jutsu of all sorts."

"All sorts? What strange power." Lee commented.

"**Futon: Atsugai! (Wind Release: Pressure Damage!)"**

A tunneling whirlwind slowly burrowed its way towards the leaf genin and chunin, somehow keeping itself contained in one big pressure hold spot. It easily leveled the grass and slopes in its way as it continued to approach.

Naruto gritted his teeth angrily as he stepped up to face the attack, but was stopped by an arm. He turned to look at Rock Lee, silently questioning what he was doing, as Lee gave him a serious look.

"Naruto, go ahead after Sasuke. I will cover you."

Shikamaru got up to amble towards the two.

"…I guess that goes for me as well…" He replied wearily as he approached the two with his hands in his pockets.

"But...you guys..." Naruto slowly started, wanting to protest, but dragged off.

"Naruto." Shikamaru continued, seeing that he wouldn't finish for himself. "We all knew the risks. Chouji knew the risks when he sent us ahead. Neji knew the risks when he stopped that strange six-armed shinobi from delaying us. Kiba knew the risks when he fought off that Siamese freak shinobi that would have probably killed us." He struggled to keep his voice audible over the vacuum-like noise generating from the wind-style attack approaching them. "…And me and Rock Lee…we know what we're doing, right here and now. We are all doing this…because…everything, _everything_…all those risks, all those chances we took to get this far…it will all be for nothing. So go on, Naruto…get Sasuke back! I've been trying to do what is right for my comrades as a squad leader, now…_you_ have to do what's right for us."

Naruto was too busy to respond. He was debating his choices. Was getting Sasuke back really more important than the lives of two of his other friends? Even if he went after him, he didn't know if he would be strong enough by himself for it to mean something. He could, on the other hand, save his friends' lives if he stayed behind and helped him fight off the infidels, even though all of their chakra levels pretty much left Sasuke's in the dust.

Rock Lee must have known exactly what he was thinking.

He threw his thumb up again and smiled brightly as he spoke to Naruto with one of his eyes shut, presumably in a prolonged wink.

(Now here is what I want you to do. I want you to picture the actual episode where Naruto and Rock Lee were on the Moonlit Fields, except when Lee is giving the thumbs-up and speaking to Naruto, I want you to picture grey sky, and a great big ugly whirlwind slowly tearing towards them from the background, shredding through the land and trees on the way.)

"Do not worry about us!" Rock Lee stated enthusiastically. "I can assure you that Shikamaru and I have this covered! Remember your promise to Sakura!"

Naruto stared at him with an unsure face at first, but then it quickly shifted into an inspired smile.

"Right!" Naruto finished.

He dashed on towards the gigantic vortex that threatened to consume him, before turning back one last time to see Rock Lee stand up straight and give him a soldier's salute. Naruto smiled, and continued to dash towards the artificial storm jutsu. When he realized that he had gotten close enough, he drew out a shadow clone out from behind him. As he held his arm out, the shadow clone proceeded to shape a perfectly formed sphere in his palm as he held his hand out for it. When his clone disappeared, he took the light blue orb forward as he continued his dash to face the attack head-on.

With a jump start, he took towards it, his own attack held out before him, preparing to collide.

"What…the hell?" Kakuzu wondered as he continued to hold the mask up to the strange attack.

"**Rasengan!"**

It rammed into and through the head of Kakuzu's jutsu, and Naruto launched it out of his hand and forward through the vortex, tunneling all the way to Kakuzu.

Thinking quickly, Kakuzu dropped the jutsu, and ducked the lightly colored projectile. He looked behind himself to see it carry on through the air, and finally tunnel into the canyon beyond. A split rock sound was heard from everyone, and the entire rock formation came crumpling to the ground, as a colossal cloud of dust rose up below a great crater, the attack's evidential landing point.

Kakuzu snapped his head back to see Naruto dash at him with the others close by. He jumped back a ways on instinct.

"Now you'll _really_ get it!!" Naruto shouted at him.

"Ohhh, you cheeky…" Kakuzu held his hand forward, and shot it out, directing it at the tailed beast that rushed him. It flew through the air on its inky ropes, only to be caught in mid air by Rock Lee, who dashed in front of Naruto at great speed to stop the attack.

Kakuzu didn't have time to recoil again before Naruto was up in his face, and then over it. Kakuzu's opaque eyes widened as Naruto landed on his feet behind him.

"Get it?" Naruto teased, as he saluted Kakuzu. "Mission accomplished!"

"Not _yet_ it's not!" Kakuzu prepared to fire with his other arm, despite the other currently being pinned down by Lee. He swiftly aimed it at an unsuspecting Naruto and fired it off.

But something really bizarre happened. It wasn't working! Why wasn't it working?! In fact, his whole _body_ wasn't working! He couldn't move! He was frozen in place!

…But by _what_…?

Kakuzu glared at the Bijuu that was now getting away, before straining his head at the effort to slowly turn it back to the other Leafs. What greeted his sight was Shikamaru, smirking up at him as he crouched down into shadow-user position.

"Shadow Imitation Technique: success." Shikamaru stated smugly.

Kakuzu's eyes followed the trace of Shikamaru's unnaturally black shadow, all the way up to the source: himself. Stitches of joy.

"No good! Itachi! Help!"

But it was futile, as Itachi was square in a battle of his own, remaining stationary, as he effortlessly dodged Kimimaro's Larch Dance sweeps.

"DON'T YOU WORRY, KAKUZU-SAN!! TOBI IS HERE!!" Tobi shouted to him from the top of the slope. "TOBI WILL HELP!! TOBI IS A GOOD- WHAAAAA!!" Tobi cut himself off as he tripped over his own feet and tumbled down the hill, away from the fight.

Kakuzu sweat-dropped as he had his head turned towards the clumsy ninja that continued to roll down the steep slope and make a big splash head-first into the pond below.

He struggled to turn his head back towards the other two shinobi just in time to see Shikamaru explain to Rock Lee about his masks while he held his jutsu stance.

"So you are saying that the masks are the sources of this man's powers?"

"Yeah. Why not go up there and smash em' up while I hold this guy down."

That was the second worst thing that Kakuzu wanted to hear. He struggled hard to break free from the bond, but abruptly stopped to slowly glare up as Rock Lee approached him with a sport look on his face.

"Now then…" Rock Lee started to him. "Let us have a look at those masks!"

"Oh like _hell_ you will!!"

* * *

_Meanwhile-_

Sasori and Tayuya where still high at the peaks of the trees, stared each other down in their new forms, exploring them for possible new strengths and weaknesses.

This had almost seemed to turn into a game for the two, and though Tayuya was dead-serious about winning, Sasori had to admit that he was having…a _small_ amount of fun dealing with her. After all, the goading to her entertained him all the more. But it seemed that after a while, this became just a bit more than a _friendly contest_, if friendly sounded cute and cuddly in the least. It seemed…that it was time to put child's play aside and get serious. If she was willing to do it, then hell, Sasori was all arms to entertain her, as well.

Unknown to Tayuya, Sasori was a lot faster without his garments on…so he could easily do THIS!

He disappeared from his place with a titanic burst of speed, and slid all the way over.

Tayuya grunted and proceeded to look around the area frantically, eyes wandering all through the treetops. _'Scurrying around the forest like a little rat…! I'll find you…'_

Her eyes abruptly shot wide open as a gigantic shadow eclipsed her body. Not so little. Someone was right behind her; someone big. Two guesses as to who that would be, and Jiroubou doesn't apply. Her entire backside dropped ten degrees as a sick, cracking sound was heard, like rotting wood splitting. And the sound felt…hostile. Like it wanted her dead.

"So…" A coarse, creeping voice whispered from right over her shoulder. "…do you spot him yet?"

She could feel a cold shiver up her spine, as if that was right about where a knife was about to slip. Beads of sweat formed over her darkened forehead under her horns as she breathed heavier. She had to rely on precise timing.

Trying to seem as sudden as possible to him, she shot her whole body around as fast as she could, only to have been met by this:

"BOO!!" Sasori shouted right into her face as loud as possible, even going so far as to lunge forward a little for good effect. If it wasn't his scary, mangled lower face, or the fact that his whole body was standing upward on the tip of his tail to make him look much taller and more threatening that did the work for him, just pick from the list.

"Whoa!!" Tayuya shouted in sheer surprise and alarm. Even her Second State hadn't prepared her for that.

As anyone would expect, Tayuya lost her footing on her tree branch, struggling to keep back on. "Ah-" She was loosing her edge, and as she tipped back, she made the mistake of looking down. They were so high up, that the ground wasn't even visible! As her balance leaned her back and forth, the view that she was looking down from seemed to zoom in and out.

Finally, she lost her balance, completely. "Ahh!" She felt her feet slipped off the edge.

"AAAHHHHH!!" She screamed as she fell through the canopy. None of the branches reached out far enough to catch her, and her legs couldn't reach a surface to kick off on, and catch one. She was helpless as she plummeted down to the forest floor, rapidly picking up the speed. The fall was as forever while she continued her screaming all the way down.

The ground was closing in fast on her. It was all she could do to quickly close her eyes and have a second's brace for the inevitable.

Then, her vision went dark, and everything went silent.

"Am I…" She whispered timidly to herself, not wanting to finish the sentence. The dark continued to seep over, and it was even silent enough to hear herself echo. "…dead…?" She finally finished for herself.

"It's not the fall that kills you…" An eerily familiar voice corrected her, the deep, monotone sounds in his voice echoing just as much as her soft, quivering one.

She realized that she still had her eyes closed. She slowly opened one of them to see that the surface of the ground was nothing more than an inch away from her face. As her eyes both shot open, she felt around her body without looking away from her limited view to make sure that she hadn't really passed.

First, she worked her hands to feel her unnaturally tan neck, which was still smooth, yet wet from beads of sweat that had slide down from her face. Slowly, she moved her trembling hands down her chest, skimming the outer trimmings of her clothes.

But when she got to her waists, something didn't…_feel_ right. Surely her outfit's purple-knot belt didn't feel that hard before, or let alone…_cold_. Or did she just never notice? But then she knew for absolute certainty that it wasn't her normal attire. Because she felt it slither its way around her waist and up around her torso to support her in more comfortable…or _un_comfortable position, as it slightly slipped over her breasts, working its way all over her chest - mending over her, like living armor. Just _what_ was she hanging from?

Afraid of what she might see, her eyes slowly worked their way down her body to meet up with her hands.

And, oh, what she saw confused her a great deal. For what was wrapped around her light frame, was the continuing mechanism that seemed to belong to a great, metallic…tail.

"Uh!" Her pupils shrank in sheer surprise as she soon after turned her head to slowly trace the steel vertebrae of the tail up to its source.

And sure enough, a familiar, armored man with a gauntlet on his left hand was crouched on all fours facing onward even as she hung right next to him, as he held the tail supporting her to the side of himself.

"It's the sudden stop." He finished, his jawbone and teeth clicked actively as he did so without his black cowl to cover them. Even as he spoke to her, his glare stretched onward in his own direction, as if…trying not to even look at her.

Her mouth opened slightly as her mind tried to compute with what her vision was telling her. How could this be happening? Her bastard enemy had..._saved _her?

She attempted to respond to him…but could not quite find the words. Since she was so close to him, she stared at his face for a brief moment, as this might very well be the last chance that she would ever have again. Since he was so statue still, the bastard didn't really look all that scary if she let her eyes take him in. Or maybe it was just because she felt safer in her Second State form?

"You…saved me…?" She questioned, her demon eyes wide.

Sasori's head instantly snapped to face her, making a sickly cracking sound as it did so.

As scary as his eyes were to look at from a distance, they're even scarier when your eyes were only a few inches away from his. She swallowed hard as his eyes narrowed in on her; the pupils seemed to shrink in like a camera lens, while she noticed thin, bloodshot veins surround it.

His mouth parts clicked softly as he spoke again.

"I'm not through…_with you_." As he emphasized on the last part, his tail gave off a few warning clicks, before catapulting her through the air as hard as it could. She flew _far_. At the speed that she was going at, if she hit had hit a tree the wrong way, the force of the impact would definitely finish her.

However, in mid air, she threw her upper body forward, flipping through the air to feet first position, and as she neared a tree trunk, she kicked off of it and backflipped gracefully onto her feet.

"What the fuck is your _problem?_" She spat, more of a terribly confused tone than an angry one. "You fight me for hours on end, when I'm about to die you save me, and then you go back into attack mode?!" She spread her arms out far to the sides to emphasize her point. "Make up your damn mind – do you want me dead, or don't you?" She finished, putting her hands on her hips to wait for an answer.

Sasori glanced her over silently, yet effectively while maintaining still position before answering her question cryptically.

"When I'm yet to have had my fun, I suppose you will not know."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" She asked in alarmed response. "Does that even fucking answer my question??"

"Look, can't we just get on with this…?" Sasori asked wearily. He was tired of answering the redhead's annoying questions. Or do _all_ women ask so many questions when someone that they were fighting to the death with just saved their life?

Tayuya leered at him sternly. As much as she would like to figure out who he actually is, she instead figured that she should resume teaching this guy a lesson. But...still..._why?_

"You think this is a _game?_" She asked, bewilderment in her voice. "Well, I'm gonna make you feel sorry for ever saving me in the first place. _That_ was a pretty dumb thing to do." She pointed her flute towards him, as if lecturing him with it.

"I'm sorry; I didn't know we were still talking."

Right on cue after she heard this, the tail lunged out to her directly, intent on spearing her on end. It crashed through other tree trunks in the way, before meeting up with her.

She reacted quickly by jumping up the tree, and away onto the next one as she peered down at him from the enormous height difference, while he retracted his tail.

-T-tt-tt-tt-tt-tt-tt-

It clanked with a solid rhythm, as it slowly reeled in to its original length.

-ttt-ttt-**CLANG**-

A distinctively different sound signified that it had pulled in all the way. Sasori slowly turned his head up to look give the girl his signature glare, even though his puppet's lower face would be forever cracked into an endless, menacing grin.

Tayuya finally just shrugged her shoulders and raised her flute to her lips, and Sasori crouched low to the ground, anticipating a powerful attack. She played some entirely new tune from before. The notes screeched in play, and the sound waves generating from the instrument were so loud that Sasori could feel the notes pulsate through his structural body on the beat.

**"****Mateki: Mugen'onsa! (Demonic Flute: Dream Sound Chain!)"**

As the bright purple waves passed over Sasori, he found that he wore slightly disoriented. The area all around seemed to ripple and melt down, and his rival's form seemed to spin and fade in and out, but Sasori could still see that she cracked an evil grin though her flute still pressed to her lips, before she too was washed away with everything else in vision.

Sasori, inside of his puppet body, with his scornful eyes shifting back and forth, scanned the area that he was now trapped in. It was a wasteland, but nothing like the Desert of Suna. Bones of humans and prehistoric creatures alike were strewn all over the sanded sea. Nice red sky, too. Where did the bitch send him?

As waves and waves of sand continued to brush in, the sharp grains of the storm were probably powerful enough to peel the skin back of a normal human. But to Sasori's chagrin, the storm's power was still strong enough, even for the density of his woodworks, to peel the wood back, making his body texture all coarse and splintery. Maintenance work for later. Yipee.

But there would be another time to fuss about that, because now, white, shining wires were coming in on him, and as some of them made contact with his thick shell, thin scratches were being made along the surface. Before Sasori could resort to using his tail, numerous wires came in from behind and seized it. Many held it in place, and many more were coming in through the flexibility creases of the metalwork, so now, it would be useless to him anyways.

Sasori aimed the gauntlet on his left hand out behind him in an attempt to release his backside, but that plan was wasted as soon as yet _more_ wires came to the front end and seized his left arm and his right, shortly after. He was now tied up at all ends like a rodeo clown. Could the day get any better? Sasori grunted with the effort to release himself from his stringy imprisonment, but found that utterly useless, because combined with the power of the genjutsu he was in, and his lacking strength of a mid range fighter, he would have had better luck releasing himself from an entanglement of ramen noodles.

His body tipped, wood creaking as Sasori slowly and helplessly fell to the ground, landing face-first in a mound of sand.

"Well isn't this just…awkward." He mumbled irritably to himself as he struggled even more, but the position of the fall caused his right arm to interlope with the opposite side, as his left did the exact same thing, so now, he was strung up with his arms tangled in with his backside.

He was pretty sure that wherever that girl was, she was having herself a fucking ball watching him now.

Then he reminded himself. _'A genjutsu. That's all it is, is a genjutsu. She can't do any real damage to me, this way. She doesn't know my weak point, so she'll just aimlessly exercise excuses for pain around my dead body.'_ He smiled in the form of a horrific, extended mouth at what an ultimately useless attempt this was for her. _'Guess she's playing frisky. She doesn't seem to want to dirty her hands for herself.'_ He reckoned.

Then, the bones around the wasteland area began to melt right out of their spots, and it was getting so hot, that the sand even started to melt. As Sasori did his best to cover his heart from the rapidly rising heat, he watched as his body slowly peeled and melted like wax, and his metal tail corroding over in a thick brown rust.

_'__Right. This is a tad bit uncomfortable, but still – won't kill me.'_ He reasoned with himself as he tried his best to ignore the subtle notice of his body disintegrating completely.

He waited, and he waited, and he waited, and DAMN did he hate to wait. Nothing happened for several minutes as his body slowly dissolved more as it was all he could do to keep his face from planting right back into the rusty mound of sand he was facing. What could he do to pass the time? Dance? No, guess he couldn't do that, could he? So…what was she waiting for? Wouldn't any normal person be pretty much screwed, by now? He tried his best under given conditions to come up with a decent plan to release himself from this annoying genjutsu. After a few seconds of active brainstorming, he came up with the most logical one that he could think of. Since he couldn't use pain of his own to release himself from the genjutsu…

_'__I suppose I'll go with the indignant way and play dead...'_

Sasori grudged. He hated playing possum, but annoying times call for annoying measures. As long as none of the other members see him doing the ridiculous stunt, he should be fine as far as self-decent moral goes.

He didn't bother holding his breath, because that'd be pretty much pointless and stupid, and let his face plop to the sand.

-plop-

Mmmmmm…salty.

He let his body dangle limp on the wires, and gave himself to the desert. For a while, nothing happened. The sand rustled on through as the black sun in the run sky continued to cast down harmful rays of heat to light up the boiling desert-Hell.

But then, the temperature seemed to decrease slightly, as his disintegration rate decreased itself. He couldn't tell by feeling, of course. The sky seemed to dim and fade as the bones and sand of the wasteland seemed to tear away from the ground and dissipate in the air. The whole room was spinning again, which made the Akatsuki pirate motion sick again, before the familiar floral green of trees spun back into view. But even as the illusion ceased, Sasori decided to be sneaky.

He continued to lay limp on the floor of the forest, his eyes remaining open, as he could never close them. The tail lay strewn long across the forest floor, reaching about twenty feet in length, since it was limp and not flexed.

It was silent as he lay there, a bird or two chirped from high in the canopy every once in a while, but nothing more. It sure was tranquil in the forest. How come he had never noticed that before? Guess it was all the loud smashing and bashing and loud noises from the fight that had averted his attention so. This might have actually been a decent place to continue his work on his human puppets, if it were darker and more solitary.

Suddenly, Sasori heard a tiny noise, like feet hitting the pavement from meters away, and felt something light in the earth, but distant, knowing that it was Tayuya landing on ground level. Since the side of his head was right along the ground, the vibrations in the earth could carry through his wooden vessel and to the only living part of his body, enabling him to feel if anything was approaching on the same ground that he stood on.

But he didn't feel anything else. Seemed that she was being a bit cautious, still. As long as he didn't show any sign of movements, she should fall for it…eventually. Then that would be it. He wasn't the close combat type, but _she_ wasn't, either. He figures that he can handle one bratty little girl.

But minutes passed by, and Sasori was rapidly getting impatient with her. Not only did he hate waiting for someone in general, but on this loose-soiled ground, he was sure to be getting dirtier by the second. He _hated_ getting dirty.

_'__Come on…you know you want to check and make sure that I'm really dead.'_

His eyes glared, as that was the expression that his puppet was stuck with, but he was also fairly certain that he would be glaring, anyway. Did she really learn that quickly? She should be confident that her genjutsu finished him.

Then he felt _extremely_ light vibrations in the earth, but could not hear a thing. She was sneaking up to him. Based on her hesitation from before, and the lengthy periods of time in between the small vibrations, it was easy to tell. She was still being careful about her approach on him; despite the fact that she would have guaranteed that her jutsu would have finished him, anyway.

What a smart little girl. She is, indeed, a shinobi.

The vibrations gradually became heavier, telling Sasori that she was getting closer to him. He waited anxiously for a perfect chance to lunge her. And he would have to continue waiting a bit longer.

His eyes shifted wildly around; it was safe to do that, since he was sure that he was facing the opposite way from his opponent. Really there was no need to do this, as he could easily kill her no matter what, but he figured to keep her alive and active as long as possible until he received news from the others that they had captured the Nine Tails.

He found that it was always fun toying with kunoichi before he resorted to kill them.

Finally, she was only yards away, as indicated by the heft of the vibrations. By this time, Sasori was so anxious, he felt like jumping right out of Hiruko to grab her, himself.

'_Come on…closer…closer…'_ He spoke with his thoughts in extreme impatience.

He heard her stop abruptly.

'…_NOW!'_

Sasori's body shot up at Tayuya as swift as possible. This was a big mistake.

"NOW I have yo-"

"Cha!" Tayuya shouted vigorously.

Before he could respond with a 'what the hell?' or even a 'huh?', Tayuya clenched her hand into a fist, threw it back, and…

-CRUNCH!-

Next thing that he knew, Sasori was flying back at a hundred miles per hour into the base of a tree, feeling every artificial organ in his body rattle with the force, as well as the one that wasn't.

He struggled slowly to snap his head out of the gigantic imprint that he made in the wood to stare at her with his extremely rarely used surprise expression. Though his mouth could never shift, everything showed in Sasori's wide eyes, as he stared back at the demonic looking girl, who glared as she hadn't yet withdrawn from her fierce punch.

It was then that Sasori realized that he felt a bit lighter. As his head slowly hung over to examine his torso, he found the source of the dysfunction.

A gaping hole, about the width of Tayuya's slender fist, was incrested in the hollow of his chest. Deep cracks formed all around due to the terrifying amount of force exercised upon it. In a way, he found that he was looking into his own innards. Holy shit.

His eyes widened even more at the scary fact.

_'__That was almost it for me.'_ He thought, astounded that he had brushed with Death. _'If that blow was directed slightly to the right, she would have smashed in my main organ, and I would have been killed on the spot. Tough girl.'_

Time for a mental note: she's stronger than she was before.

He tilted his head back up to look at her as she still held her fist position from the punch. He scowled as he stared at her from his strewn position.

_'She was anticipating this...'_ He realized. He had let his guard down.

In response to the look, she didn't move, but smirked evilly, revealing teeth.

"Is that all you got?"

* * *

_To the field-_

"Don't touch the masks! Don't you even _think_ about touching those masks!" Kakuzu struggled as it were to break from the shadow hold, but all he was good for was making empty threats. He guessed that he could say that he now knew how Hidan always feels.

Shikamaru was struggling with the shadow hold; beads of sweat shone on his forehead. This guy was hard to keep in place, and the effort was constantly draining his chakra.

"Do it already, Lee! I'm almost at my limit!" Shikamaru strained through gritting teeth. "Take him out quickly!"

"Please do not strain!" Rock Lee said, trying to get Kakuzu to hold still. "It will make it a lot more difficult!"

"Why do you think I'm doing it?!" He retorted.

He struggled to turn his head back just to see Itachi knock Kimimaro back with another Super Explosion, and disappear from plain view. Guess he used the attack to bide time.

And so it was, Itachi reappeared, kunai at hand, right behind Shikamaru, who was too distracted with his own technique to notice, until too late.

His eyes widened at the realization that there was another shadow cast over him, not the one he was currently using. Itachi peered menacingly down to him with blood red eyes as he held the kunai up over him. Well, all Shikamaru had time to say was:

"Ohhhhhhh troublesome-!"

-Thunk-

Without even batting an eye, Itachi effortlessly knocked him out using the back of the knife, letting Shikamaru's unconscious body drop to the ground as his shadow shrank to normal proportion.

Rock Lee was in the wrong place, at the wrong time when Kakuzu got his movement back: directly in front of him.

Kakuzu threw a strong kick at Rock Lee, who had barely seen it coming in time, barely blocking the full access force as it slammed into his arms. Lee was pushed meters back from the effort, and there was now one less friend to fight alongside.

Rock Lee winced in pain as he caught himself from slamming onto his backside. _"Uh...how could anyone be so strong?"_

"Thanks, Itachi." Kakuzu said to the silent shinobi as he cracked his neck into place. It upset him greatly, in a way. He was the one who was always telling his thick-headed partner to be careful, which he ultimately does not do, and then he was the one to laugh down at the head rolling across the floor while it cursed unintelligently up at him _for _laughing. Was karma just not him friend anymore?

Itachi nodded slightly, before teleporting back out to continue the fray with Kimimaro.

Kakuzu turned back to scowl down at Shikamaru, who lay limp on the ground. He readied his mask, preparing to destroy his body, before he could ever come back to the land of the conscious again. His only regret: it won't be painful.

He readied his Wind Mask to grind him up like a blender, the blank mask glowing notoriously down at the unconscious Leaf. As it swallowed wind like a vent, it homed in on Shikamaru's body, preparing to make a smoothie out of him.

"Good bye, hound of the Leaf." Kakuzu sneered with animosity.

**"****Futon…"**

"No!" Rock Lee shouted as he ran up to help his friend. "I am not done with you yet!"

Kakuzu instinctively took out his Water Mask and quickly aimed it at him with his other hand. Ice spewed out of the mouth, crawling for Lee.

He used his speed to outrun the blast, dashing around the field; there was nothing he could do to help his friend without getting frozen on interference.

The other mask whistled loudly as it prepared to unleash all of its power on Shikamaru.

**"...****Atsugai!"**

The mouth clicked open, and it fired.

It drilled deep into everything underneath it; Shikamaru, the ground that he was on, everything. Kakuzu shot high into the air from the pressure of the blast, as he continued to hold the mask downward, like an ethereal mining drill.

The wind screamed as it dug into the surface, with the power of three tornadoes, each taking turns carving up a section of land.

Kakuzu squinted through his eyes from the powerful breezes that came along with the attack; wanting to be sure that was it.

Itachi and Kimimaro hesitated with the fight to cover their faces from the strong winds, and gravel that rode in as debris. As if the fight wasn't trouble enough on its own. The sound was annoying, too.

As soon as Kakuzu realized that he was seriously overkilling, and that no one could have possibly survived this, his mask slowly ceased all of the air around the perimeter, and he gradually lowered to the land as the pressure faded away.

As he landed on his feet, he scanned the area. There was absolutely nothing standing. Shikamaru's body was gone, and so was all of the grass and soil around it. Nothing was left remaining was a whole bunch of brownish…

…sand.

Wait…_sand?_ This is a floral forest, not a desert. In fact, the desert isn't supposed to be anywhere _near_ here! This is not natural!

But then he saw something even stranger. This sand must have been there the whole time, right underneath his attack. Yet Kakuzu hardly saw a flicker of sand brush off of the surface, even though he had his eyes on what he was doing the whole time. He knew that it couldn't have been his old eyesight, this time.

_'__Is this field haunted, or something?'_ He wondered.

He turned his head gradually to look around for a probable source of the strange sand, and found one.

Standing there, arms crossed, with a stern expression on his face, was a red-haired ninja with a gourd on his back to match the color of the sand around him. Obviously, he was a Sand ninja…and it wasn't just the sand gourd pouring out sand on his back that gave it away.

Kakuzu turned his vision slightly to see Shikamaru, still unconscious, lying right next to him in a heap of sand. But there were bigger matters to focus on than that. Kakuzu turned his concealed face back to the new nin, his face deadpanned with concentration.

'_That gourd…'_ Kakuzu scowled through his mask at the new ninja. _'…could it honestly be…him?'_

What was he doing way out here, in the middle of Leaf territory, so far away from his own village? Surely he hasn't gotten so lonely from being a Jinchuuriki that he resorted to moving way out _here_. Or did he just enjoy travel?

Whatever the reason for him being here was, Kakuzu cracked a twisted, laced smile from underneath his mask.

This was perfect.

The Akatsuki had originally come for one tailed beast…and yet stumble upon another! Life is a funny thing.

"Gaara of the Desert." Kakuzu whispered under his breath (or lack of breath.) "Home of the One-Tailed Raccoon demon…"

His eyes met Gaara's own as the two confronted each other with their own signature expression.

"…Christmas bonus, here I come."


	7. You Can't Beat Me

**A/N: Maybe I had overdone it and let the battles carry a little too far, I do not know, but all things considered, this will be the final part of the battles. **_**Then**_**, people, you will see what one twist can do to an entire storyline. I had hoped that half of you would persevere through the prologue, yet that is where over 2/3 of the viewers have stopped! (sigh…) Whatever – I do not care anymore. Just enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

**Chapter 6: "You Can't Beat Me."**

Sasori creaked slowly to upright position…very slowly. Every normal second was a minute gone by for him.

The trunk behind him slowly collapsed into a crumpled bend with his imprint still wedged into the center, the same imprint where he was only a second ago. Dark leaves silently drifted all around Sasori from high in the air, from their now invisible spots where they once sat on the now-deceased tree. It was as if they didn't even reflect in Sasori's eyes; whether he realized that they were there or not, Tayuya couldn't say.

In regards to the big, healthy tree, she could have sworn that she had crippled him along with it, but she knew better. She would have killed him while he was down and taking so slow to get up, but it was all just a play to him. If she came close, she'd surely get lashed a second time for her mistake.

But in her Cursed Seal Second State, she had both muscle and muscle memory. She had warned him from the start, about not fucking around with her, but to no regard did he listen. Now he would just have to die.

But as fate would have it, under no circumstances was Sasori the killable type. Kill_ing_ type, yeah, but that was a kill-not-be-killed matter to be taken up with absolutely everyone, even his superior, to whom there was only one.

Tayuya rolled her unnaturally-colored eyes, and tilted her head way back to appear facing upward to the sky. She was getting pretty damn impatient with this whole zombie-rise-from-the-dead act that this guy was pulling every time he was pushed to the ground.

"Come _on_…" She moaned out from her breath. "Get the fuck _up_, already. I didn't hit you that hard."

Sasori scowled with more hell towards her than ever before, but if she even had a feeling of the look that she was now getting, she had no such means of showing it.

"Hn." He scoffed silently at her, feeling disrespected that he was not being taken seriously. His eyes sank into such a narrow glare, that his pupils were barely visible from the very top of them. In retrospect, this girl was on her knees, begging to let herself killed in the most painful way that man has yet to compromise.

"Cut this crap." She broke back quickly and nonchalantly. "I'm getting really fed up with your bullshit. I hate all this waiting you're putting me through, and-"

"_Waiting?_" Sasori inquired, wagging his tail behind him so wildly, that it produced enough rapid clicking to wake up the entire village nearest them.

Tayuya shot a taken-back look as she took a half-jump backwards. "Whoa, what the fuck! Did I just turn you on or something?"

"Waiting." He repeated. "Do you know…_how_ much I abhor making people wait? Do you know how much inconvenience it fills me with to see bored people – roll their eyes at me with the look that just happens to say 'I could die at any moment'? I hate getting that look." His eyes dilated wildly, blood-shot veins revealing themselves. "…Makes me MAD!"

He made a great sudden outburst of energy to launch himself a foot forward in less than a second, which rattled Tayuya into a brief defensive stance. She could have sworn that her heart could have shot out of her back towards the other direction from all of this excitement and adrenaline. She hated that constricting feeling. But the exhilaration – oh, she _loved_ that. But this wasn't a lovey feeling moment. This was sheer. Fucking. Panic. This guy is so unpredictable in speech _and_ action, and it was more of an annoying thing than an oh-so-mysterious-and-cool thing, really.

"But you know," he continued calmly, maintaining his form as if he had done absolutely nothing. His speech retained the same tone and pace. "You're just like me. I hate waiting. Those feelings of standing completely stationary like a tree for hours on end; it drives me insane."

Sasori creased his forehead for a moment, knowing full well that if his younger teammate was here, another wood-based pun would come up, and he had quite enough of those for one day.

Tayuya crossed her arms nonchalantly, and raised an eyebrow. "Don't let this face fool you – I really do sympathize." She said in such a harsh way, that put the dumbest person in the whole country there, and they could see that she really hadn't meant anything close to it.

"…Just rambling, I suppose." Sasori replied casually. "But you miss the point." He crouched down on all four limbs, and even though he was doing it to recline, to Tayuya, she thought that the pose meant he was about to throw his whole body out on top of her. Her sudden increase of caution on her face saying it all, Sasori easily noticed this and smiled deviously, but quickly let the moment go and resumed speaking.

"Give the person that you've known longest in your life, and you in turn come to know the traits and characteristics that they probably wouldn't care to let anyone else know about…probably."

He shifted his tail to one side, and coiled it up, the sharp head of it facing the girl, but would move back and forth only slightly. Even though she once again took this as a threatening gesture, really all that he was doing was playfully twirling the chakra strings attached to his fingertips controlling the tail in a circular fashion from the inside. He always had a habit of moving his hands with the strings still attached while he was half out-of-mind, and he never really thought for how threatening he looked to anyone on the outside.

Tayuya tried her best not to break visual contact with her foe; it could cost her a limb or two if she did. It didn't look like he would shut up anytime soon, but at the same time, he was reeling on all fours in a threatening pounce stance with his long-ass tail standing in a pattern that looked like a snake about to strike. She kept on guard, placing one foot directly behind her incase she would have to take a lengthy jump back if he launched it again. But he was making this into more of a casual lecture, like a debate class, rather than a fight to the death. Was he not afraid of her at _all?_ If recalling correctly, she tore him up pretty damn good.

"But I'm not the kind of person who gets all touchy-feely with anyone, even my partner doesn't understand my way of thinking, but I could just as well classify him as a woman – his opinion just doesn't count."

Tayuya spat two words to this sexist statement. "Fuck you."

Sasori turned his head up a little, but let it slide harmlessly and continued. "So I have developed what you might call…a unique observational skill. You see, while I have this tail at my disposal, it's easier to fight than you know. You could say that I have eyes at the back of my head." He realized that he was telling a little more about his fighting style to her, but honestly what did it matter? She was going to die just as soon as he was finished. "So I use just this two-way system to scan over my opponent, and based on physical and verbal communication, I can see exactly what kind of person they are. But then again, you wouldn't necessarily pose as a trivial challenge with _anyone_, would you? You're an easy book to read. In fact, I worry myself that I've read in a little too much, what with all of your swearing and vulgar vocabulary."

Tayuya sneered at him. He wasn't the first dickhead to chide her about her bad swearing habits. Fat-ass Jiroubou and bookworm Kabuto both get on her for her choice of words. But she had two words to say to them, too.

"But that's not all." He dropped a whole level in tone, if that was even possible. "I see you've been trying to read into my eyes a little bit, too. Like what you see? How do you compare Death to a midsummer's day?" He gave a faint venomous tip to the end of the question.

"It's like being forced to read a boring poetry book." Tayuya replied half-heartedly, recognizing the Shakespeare reference, even if he did twist it a little.

"You had your bets at first, didn't you?" He added sternly. "Back when you made those obesity remarks, and then I threw off my garments. You thought you had me all figured out, didn't you?"

When she didn't answer, he continued. "In all regards, you haven't picked up on anything constructive at all about your current opponent. Don't get me wrong – you're a good strategist, but a true strategist takes the time in any difficult looking situation and analyzes his opponent thoroughly. Well I gave you plenty of chances, and you screwed them all."

Tayuya glared deeply at him, and tried to come up with a comeback, but quickly turned her glare to the side and tried to burn a hole into the rock next to him with it. As much as it sucked to admit, the son of a bitch was right. She had wasted too much time assuming the offensive instead of the innovative. But that didn't mean that she couldn't change the subject around a little on him.

"So your mission was to come all the way out here in the middle of the forest and fight off a fourteen-year-old girl – won't your superior be so happy with you. If you're as hard-ass as you say you are, then how is it you ended up fucking the whole day away against an opponent who's probably, hmm, sixty years younger than you?"

"Nineteen…" Sasori grudgedly corrected her.

_-FWOOOOOSH!-_

Before she could openly insult him once more, a gigantic wind suddenly burst through the whole area, knocking leaves and debris into the air and Tayuya along with them. The typhoon swept her into the treetops and she grabbed on to the nearest branch to keep from flying into space. As the wind lost velocity, she flew meters towards the ground. Barely saving herself from landing on her back, she instinctively flipped backwards unto her feet once again. She snapped her head back to face Sasori and her face was at a comical state when she dropped her jaw at him.

"Did you just-"

"Wasn't me." Was his quick, simple answer.

As if on cue, both of their heads slowly and simultaneously turned to look to the side at a blond-haired kunoichi holding a gigantic fan with big purple spots outstretched to one side as she withdrew from dealing the huge wind-based attack.

Neither could see her headband from the distance that covered between the three, so her village I.D. was lost to them for a moment. Letting their eyes adjust, they quickly scanned over her outfit for clues. It was hard at first, because the clothes looked modified. There were fishnet bindings stretching to cover various parts of the feminine figure's body. But with a good look, both of them had enough evidence from the texture of the cloth to come up with one simplistic answer. This girl was a ninja of Sunagakure, the Village Hidden in the Sand.

Sasori had childhood reasons for recognizing this. And they weren't happy reasons. But why was the Sand meddling here?

Tayuya, on the other hand, knew for a different reason. Orochimaru proposed an 'alliance' with the Sand way back when to get close to the Kazekage and take him out. This was, of course, announced to the entire Sound Village and her included. During the days that the dumbass had actually believed him and let Sound nins strut through his village without warrants, Orochimaru had forced everyone in his village to become more accustomed with Suna by interacting with its shinobi, and it did not please Tayuya, to say the least. She didn't care to make a friend with _anyone_ in _any_ other damn village in the world. Six years ago would have been fine, but alas, six years too late.

Way too late.

When she became a ninja, she learned the extremely hard way that you had to set yourself ready to make cope with the fact that the people closest to you will die. In optimistic view, it was only a matter of time. Orochimaru didn't care, but she wanted to keep those events as minimal as possible. Her devised solution: make as little friends as possible. She could never, of course, simply wipe the people that she already knew from her mind; Kabuto, Kimimaro, Sakon, Kidomaru, Jiroubou, Dosu, Zaki, Kin – even if she could hardly give a shit for what happened to any of them, that never stopped her from worrying that she would find someone more…important. Someone that she couldn't bear to lose. After what had happened……six years ago.

She continued to hold her scowl, her light brown eyes reflected coldly at the other assailing kunoichi, who folded the fan back into its hilt, subsequently placing the now sheathed paper upright next to her and resting her hand on top of it. She kicked one leg back into a relaxed position and cracked a foxy grin.

"Well isn't this special." She said, making it obvious that she was directing all of her smug speech to the scowling girl.

Her grin quickly faded as she turned to figure 2. "Who are you? What are you doing out in the middle of the woods with this girl? Do you even know who she is?" She bombarded Sasori with questions. "Look I'm sorry, but you'll have to leave here right now. I'll handle this girl myself."

Sasori turned his curious glare into a glare-glare at this statement. In a cold tone, he said, "My prey. Go find your own." With this, he proceeded to face Tayuya again, obviously assuming that the other girl would see light in wisdom and disappear from plain view.

Tayuya dropped into comical expression again, her jaw dropped and eyes like dinner plates. _Prey?_ Since when did she become some bimbo's hunting game?

The Sand kunoichi, none other than Gaara and Kankurou's older sister, Temari, wouldn't sit too well with this. And being the proud and equally stubborn girl that she was, she wasn't about to just do what this guy said.

"Excuse me? Sorry, but if you're not prepared to leave, then I guess I'm prepared to _make_ you leave."

Sasori snapped his lean head back to her.

"You're a shinobi from Suna, yes?"

"Yeah, I am. And as of late, the Sand is now an ally of the Leaf Village, so according to the Hokage's part of the treaty, we're authorized to travel on Konoha's forestry grounds. Now please do as you're told and clear out – I don't really feel like asking nicely again."

Sasori stared at her for a few seconds, and then asked a question that Temari never saw coming.

"So how's Chiyo, huh?"

While Tayuya's eyes blinked a few times in response to this, Temari's pupils shrank. "You…know about Elder Chiyo-"

Sasori's tail launched into forward rotation, and even though Temari never saw what was coming, she instinctively re-opened her fan in a split half-second, but failed to completely defend herself, as the head of the tail made a powerful lunge attack which easily chopped it in two, and grazed a cut into Temari's side, as she just barely shifted her torso to avoid sustaining full damage through the chest. Sasori's relentless attack didn't just stop there; he flexed the extended tail around her side and for a last joint effort with his tail and her sudden loss of footing, he knocked her straight off the tree in a clean sweep. Temari let out one incredibly short but loud response to the sudden, yet brutal attack, and she was unconscious before she hit the ground.

All in one, brief second.

"I hate Chiyo." Sasori blatantly informed her, even though she was probably completely out of it now.

Tayuya's brain simply couldn't process what all was happening now. Her anonymous rival had just done in the kunoichi from the Sand in literally the blink of an eye. But that's all that she did, was bat an eyelid, before the girl was incapacitated under half the effort of that long tail.

Her jaw was left hanging with a few more single-digit blinks from her dark, clearly disturbed eyes. The bright golden pupils shook in their bleak spires.

Sasori turned his head back to her yet again, and this time, there was no Sand girl to stop that.

"One female is quite enough to deal with. Where did I leave off…?" He asked wearily, but Tayuya couldn't place it clear whether he was talking to her, or himself. To escape persecution of the question, she tried her best to give him her silent, chivalrous face, even though deep inside, she felt she would explode.

"Ah. I remember." Sasori said, pointing up at the sky with his tail in the same fashion that a person would point up his index finger in realization. "Tell me, did you think that it was skill…or even _luck_ that got you this far – or do you think that you survived up to this point because I let you?"

Her act instantly fell apart, and her face shot into shock with a soft grunt, a bead of sweat shone off of her cheek. _'Is this ugly mole really serious? Or is he just bluffing? It's likely bluffing, but…'_ She briefly flashed back to where her Doki were attacking him from all sides, while he deflected them with impossible ease. _'He could have assumed the offensive easily, but chose not to. Could he be waiting for me to be caught off guard? Waiting for me to make a slip?'_ Something else flashed in her memory, causing her glare to soften slightly. _'But then why would he bother to have…?'_

"That's right, girl." Sasori concluded for her, pulling her away from her thoughts. "Even if you were to miraculously kill me – right here and now – it wouldn't matter; your mission will have failed utterly anyways. My colleagues are light years above and beyond yours, and without that Uchiha runt ever successfully having been delivered, I'm not sure if your pedophilic master would even keep you alive, let alone welcome you home."

Tayuya crinkled her eyebrows into a furious glare, and even through her dark complexion, a bright red blend flushed her face. Her teeth bit down hard on her jaw, and her hands were clenched so tightly together, that despite her altered dark skin color, her knuckles were paler than her normal color had ever been. And the flute that she was holding in her hand didn't bend – it snapped in two.

Sasori uncaringly noticed this without breaking eye-contact with the positively pissed redheaded female. "I know. He'll keep waiting for the Uchiha to come to his village for such a long time, that he won't even realize when his own body dies out! And with his death will be the collapse of his artificial village. His…_and yours."_

She in turn didn't bother to look down at the strewn scrap metal. She knew what happened to her instrument, and she didn't care. She didn't know before that this guy knew Orochimaru, but that wasn't the main idea, either. There were times where her teammates might have pissed her off a little, but nothing ever felt like this. He had _no fucking right_ to go out and assume that her village, which she had been raised from since she was eight, would fall because of such a small cause. To her, that was blasphemy! What people considered from her foul mouth was blasphemous to them, but this…this…this was what _she_ looked at as blasphemous. There was just no turning back now. No forgiveness. No mercy. No redemption for this bastard. She was simply not going to let him get away with this. Never. Never. _Never_. _Never_. _Never_.

"This whole thing has been a game of Cat and Mouse between you and me. But I suppose…" He let out a half-chuckle as he looked back down at the crumpled hole layering his chest before finishing his sentence. "Even _cats_ let their guard down, sometimes." His tail clicked forward, anxious to lunge out at her to finish her off. "But look to the logic of it all, Sound girl. You _know_ it makes sense. Your colleagues should all be finished by now, just as I'd predicted they'd be in the near-beginning, and without your dear _Otokage's_ vessel, he will fade like a memory, and so will the so-called 'village' that he holds in his stead." Pause. "In a way, it will all be on your head. You've failed. Any final words, perhaps a will or testament that you would like to speak before you become part of my collection?"

They stood facing each other for several minutes, and even though they seemed like hours to Sasori, this time, he didn't care. The waiting would be worth it, and he could hardly 'wait' to see the expression on the normally scowling kunoichi's face when she falls to her knees and tears streaming down her face as she starts crying in severe desperation. As far as he could see, this was the only reason he had kept her life preserved through the long hours of the day, and it was the only reason that he was waiting now.

But he frowned slightly, because he could no longer see her demonic eyes in the midst of all that long, ruffled, red fur that she called hair. With this said, he couldn't see any tears streaming down, which completely destroyed the magic of the moment that he threw away an entire afternoon to see. Well it was dusk now, and the crickets were chiming their nightly nocturnal tunes. She had better give him a good show to beg for her life, or _he would take it slowly._

Tayuya stood completely statue still in her spot, the remains of a flute lay at her right foot. It shone brightly for awhile when the sun hit it just right, but faded out now as darkness enveloped the forest ground, along with the two. A long strand of hair covered nearly all of her face, but she made no effort to brush it out of the way. Her arms did not move from her sides, but her hands had not broken from their tight fists, which were trembling in what Sasori took for as fear.

Or _mistook._

Then, something barely audible to anything near Tayuya came out from her voice, and since Sasori wasn't actively clicking, he could have sworn that he had heard it.

It sounded almost like…a _whimper._

He grinned with ecstasy. He was finally getting to her. Whether it was what he had been saying, how he had been saying it, or a combination of the two, he was getting to her. Was it ever mentioned _why_ he liked messing around with kunoichi before he killed them? It was when it came to moments like this in time. He easily bore into each one's mind; found out what got to them the most. He knew that there was something, some sore subject that brought any girl down. One just has to know where to push. He realized how cold it was… He realized that it hurt… He realized that he could be a bastard. But only _he_ himself would choose when to stop. And now…it was her turn.

Then, something completely unusual happened. Tayuya's Cursed Seal mark began glowing a third time; only this time, it was a blood-lit color prior to the ember coloration from the previous two. A painful throb broke her away from her infuriated thoughts, and caused her to let out a startled grunt, as one of her eyes tightly shut while her face winced in agony. Her teeth clenched together even tighter than before as she fought the urge to make this burning pain noticeable.

Without a second thought, she threw her hand up to the back of her neck where the seal was. It was pulsating at a rapid pace. And it felt hot. Each and every moment, a new rush of pain would swoop in and layer over the old one, giving her body no time to recuperate.

'_Ah! What's…happening?!'_ She struggled to think under the constant hell that her own seal held her under. _'…my…seal…'_ Reverting back to her normal body wasn't anywhere near this painful! It was exhausting to be sure, but she preferred that feeling high above the one she was now experiencing. _Anything_ but this!

Blood-red jagged markings crept out from under the hand that she held to the seal. The pain spread like fire across her backside, causing her face to tighten even more. Now she was doing everything in her power not to scream out.

'_I…can hardly take it anymore! What…is…this…fuck??'_ Veins began to reveal themselves on her temples, and the horns on her head grew longer as they slowly proceeded to jut out forward. It felt like someone was literally ripping her hair out, but in truth, her hair itself was actively growing longer at an unnatural rate. Her body shivered uncontrollably as she attempted to regain composure.

But there was no avail, and her legs gave way from right underneath her. She fell forward, but barely caught herself with her arms to keep from plummeting face-first. Soon after, she both heard and felt her bones and muscles crackle, like they were shifting and reforming. And it felt like her clothes were shrinking. Every movement she made to respond uncontrollably to the pain of her light frame reforming itself caused her clothes to strain with effort. She could hear the slow tearing of the Sound garments along with the constant crackling of her bones. _'I need to find away to STOP this crazy shit!! I need to…!'_ She cut herself off from her thoughts as her golden eyes shot wide open when she spotted her hand. The demon-colored markings where slowly crawling their way through her light-brown upper arm and onto her lower arm. She felt the unbearably sharp, scorching pain that it carried with it as it advanced.

When the trims of the markings reached her fingertips, that's when everything got _really_ freaky. She could hardly see it without spending all of awareness shutting out the pain, but noticed it, nonetheless. Her fingernails were literally growing out into what looked like…_claws?!_

"Ngh…!" Tayuya grunted. She could feel the same thing happening to her toes; a similar pain stretched down her legs, and shot through her feet.

Then she felt something else. In her mouth. She actively began running her tongue along her teeth to feel if everything was alright, and when it reached her canine teeth, they felt abnormally…sharp. Almost like fangs growing in.

'_What the hell is happening to me?! Orochimaru…Lord Orochimaru…it…it hurts! What's HAPPENING TO ME??'_

She couldn't endure the bizarre transformation of her body any longer. Tears went streaming down her cheeks from this twisted feeling. It felt like…like she wanted to kill the first living thing closest to her, just to watch it suffer and die. It was a scary feeling. An _evil_ feeling. Apart from her body's continued shivering, she threw her head up to the heavens, and screamed as loud as she could.

"AAAAHHHHHHHH!!"

The tortured scream echoed through the forest and passed Sasori as he watched her writhe in pain on the ground.

"You see?" He asked in a perfectly casual tone, as if he was just teaching a child how to ride a bike. "You feel so much better when you just express yourself."

For a moment, Tayuya didn't answer. Her knees touched the ground while she struggled to keep the rest of herself up with her arms, which were trembling wildly with what could be pain, rage, or a delicate combination of the two.

Another silent minute went by, and then she slowly picked herself up, her arms dangled forward loosely as her head was still facing the ground.

"…_**Y-You…"**_ A voice whispered death from her quivering mouth.

"Me." Sasori responded nonchalantly as he cocked his head. Something was wrong with her voice. Even though it wasn't so gentle in the first place, Sasori knew it to be true. It wasn't the same girl's voice. It was a much lower, harsher – unnatural, demonic. It was almost actually frightening on Sasori's account. He took a closer look, narrowing his eyes to zoom in on her. His deadpan glare deepened at what he saw.

Ominous, violent, dark purple chakra, like something out of a nightmare, crawled out from underneath her now torn garments and slowly slid over her body. It looked like some giant, oozing life form devouring her, but it had a static-building texture generating from the very outer layer of the blackening aura. Parts were breaking away off the edges of the figure, similar traits to what Naruto has on his Demon's Cloak aura.

'_A…jinchuuriki?'_ He questioned silently as he looked on at the dark chakra covered entity now set it sights in front of him.

"You're a jinchuuriki too, huh?"

Tayuya answered him with a low growl, bearing her new set of fangs at him in what was a little more than just her signature unfriendly scowl.

"I knew I left you alive for a reason. Plans have changed. Won't you come to the Akatsuki Extraction Chamber with me?"

Tayuya snarled only got louder while she got on all fours in an aggressive stance, eyeing him wickedly with new slit, bright-golden pupils. Pupils that looked almost like the ones that Orochimaru has – but with a black background, a much brighter glow, and dare it be said, much more malevolent.

Sasori let out a long exasperated sigh. "No… I suppose you wouldn't." He clicked his head up to look back at his new-and-improved opponent. "I don't suppose an apology will cut it. Please excuse my rudeness, but now I must get to work on capturing you."

* * *

"Hey, Itachi. Look what I caught." Kakuzu called to his almost mute colleague, who was squaring off just a few yards away; practically they were back-to-back with each other. One was dodging, while the other remained stationary; practically mirroring what the other was doing only a moment ago.

In midst combat, Itachi peered back for a brief moment to look at Shukaku's container and then turned to face back at the paler shinobi. "Congratulations." He said calmly while ducking another bone-blade sweep. "You have the honor-" Dodge. "-and privilege to secure the Bijuu of the Desert." Itachi made another couple dodges and several leaps upward to bide himself time to finish. "Just save the Nine-Tailed Fox for my partner and I – we can trust that he hasn't strayed too far."

Kakuzu never broke away with his silently suggested staring contest with Gaara. "This wouldn't be a bad time to drop these bodies."

"Let's hold off – you know that there's no way that we would be able to continue the pursuit without wasting our chakra reserves. And at the off-chance that we do break away, the others will be disrupted as well. If they're in mid battle, the enemy will elude us."

"Of course."

Rock Lee was too flabbergasted to pay attention to the other two speaking. He gazed up at the solitary form directly in front of him facing away – the same form that had just saved his unconscious friend.

"Gaara of the Desert?! Why are you here?" Rock Lee asked the nearby Sand shinobi.

Gaara didn't budge his stance at all, his arms held crossed as his head ever-slightly turned to the side to acknowledge his Leaf ally. His right, empty eye followed up to him as he took two seconds time to stare at him, and then turned his gaze back as calmly as before to answer his question.

"I owe the Leaf Village…" He spoke to him in a coarse, quiet voice.

His opponent held his glare as well, his pale eyes now shone with a hint of sickly green. The first few minutes went by as a staring contest for the two. A battle of wits. First one to break off dies.

And by all of Kakuzu's accounts, Gaara was the one to break first.

The old ninja instantly disappeared from his spot many meters away, and reappeared directly behind Gaara, who didn't even bat an eye, let alone flinch from his bored stance.

Kakuzu, now where he needed to be, had an unnaturally hardened fist ready, and threw a punch. It made contact.

Gaara cracked a half-grin. Without bothering to turn around, he asked "What do you think you're doing back there…?" In his low, monotone voice.

Kakuzu leered in at where his fist hit.

Tan-colored sand poured out from the big gap that he had made through Gaara's gourd, and now had his hand stuck in. He smirked slightly at the concept of 'hand caught in the cookie jar' related humor, but quickly brushed it off.

"So this is your power – no. Not _yours._ Shukaku's." Kakuzu corrected himself with his limb still forcibly linked to the jinchuuriki's backside.

Gaara turned his face ninety degrees and his uncaring eye deadpanned on Kakuzu's. "Since when did I care for which one was which…?" He asked rhetorically with a hint of harshness in his voice this time.

"Hm." Kakuzu timed his strength right, and all in the same instant, he tore his hand away, and made a horizontal hook swing with his other arm. Sand speckled with small dots of blood flew to one side, and Gaara retaliated with an attack of his own. A concentrated burst of sand shot forward to seize the older ninja, but he jumped it, and clasping both of his hands together in mid air, Kakuzu brought down a terrible deadweight at him intending on obliterating the sand shield, and the container underneath it.

"Let's find out what four thousand units of excess power will do to the likes of you!"

Gaara tilted his head to look up slightly, and folded a spherical shield overhead like a gigantic mineral umbrella.

Both of his enemy's hands burred into it, and stopped only an inch from Gaara's red hair. He was impressed a little. That shield was built over a foot thick. Not many people were willing to go the distance with that much damage using their bare hands.

"Tough sand." A seemingly distant voice called from outside, but Gaara knew that his foe was speaking from just the other side of his defense.

"You gave it a good effort, but you still disappoint me." Gaara responded from his shaded area, getting down to his knee in jutsu position. "If you had studied about half of my abilities, you would have come better prepared." He did a quick ninjutsu handsign. The sand all around him began to swirl around.

If Kakuzu had a chance to let go, it was only too late.

All sides of the shield immediately and simultaneously jutted outward like spikes, impaling the enemy, as well as doing some nice, internal damage.

Kakuzu fell meters away and landed flat on his back, not moving a second time. Gaara didn't give this time to happen, anyhow. Breaking down the rest of his sand shield, he raised his arm forward and motioned towards the limp body. The sand did as its master told it, and shot forth to cover up the body. Everything but Kakuzu's head was completely covered by the time the body was off the ground and clear in the air.

"Too bad for you. **Sabaku Soso (Sand Waterfall Funeral)!"** He wrenched his outstretched hand into a fist.

The sand all around of his opponent's body imploded and crushed tight, and Kakuzu was no more.

The sand released all around the body, which was surprisingly flawless. It fell to the grass with a dead, heavy _THUD._

The sand returned to Gaara's gourd on his back, and he turned away, crossing his arms once more.

Rock Lee ambled cautiously up to inspect his teammate's work. Each step was a slow one, shuffling with the grounds newly mixed texture of lush grass and grainy sand. He wasn't about to take the chance of a surprise attack from this one, no sir.

Finally he made it up to the body. He carefully dropped to his knees and leaned in for a closer look. Amazing. The sand made no flaws to the exterior frame at all. How can he be so sure that this man is dead? He made a mistake that he soon regretted by examine the eyes – two, ugly eyes which were forever left open, and never to blink again. It was hard to believe that he could actually see through these eyes to begin with; they looked so…unhealthy. A shiver ran down Lee's spine. He really wouldn't like to have been this close to look at them when this man was alive.

Rock Lee found that his hand was approaching his deceased foe's face, obviously intent on removing the white mask which eclipsed the rest of his face.

But at half an inch away, his hand stopped itself and declined. There was no honor in removing a shinobi's mask without their consent – even if they were an enemy. It was all a matter of courtesy and respect, something that Guy-sensei had taught him. It just went without saying.

His unnaturally wide eyes, now wider with the curiosity, searched for signs of the death marks which finished this man off. His thoroughly searching eyes stopped suddenly at the chest area of the man's uniform. The bright color of blood was constantly welling up into a blotch over where the zipper was. In time, it could even almost blend in to look like one of those strange red cloud designs on parts of the rest of his cloak. Did Rock Lee dare? Yes, he dared.

Taking a huge breath to brace for anything that a normal person wouldn't stomach, he reached for the latch to the zipper, and put his thumb and index finger around it. His brows fluttered slightly when he felt the chilling smear of oily fluid. He knew that blood was nasty, but at this point, he was kind of _hoping_ it was blood.

Taking another deep and nervous breath, Rock Lee kept a tight grip on the drenching uniform's latch to keep his hand from slipping, and slightly forced his arm downwards with it.

_Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…_

The sound of the zipper slowly becoming undone could lightly be heard.

* * *

Kimimaro was forced backwards by an unknown force. He planted his feet firmly on the ground in an attempt to stop his backward progress. As soon as his efforts paid, he looked back up forward at the nemesis standing patiently parallel to him.

"Give up." Itachi gripped the handle of his kunai and stretched his arm forward. The knife ticked.

Kimimaro's eyes narrowed slightly indifferently, when a quick, but painful pulsation went through his cursed seal. Kimimaro grunted in surprise and looked down at the burning marking.

'_My Cursed Seal of Earth is acting up? That means…'_ Kimimaro's eyes widened. _'Oh no. Tayuya's seal is interfering with mine! It's happening all over again! I must kill this man and stop her before it's too late!'_

"You're a strong one," He stated. "But I have some business to attend to, and I can no longer have you in my way. If I die…everyone dies."

"What do you mean?" Itachi replied, curious, but his voice was regular all the same.

"If I cared to tell you, I wouldn't have the time. If you won't get out of my way, I'll finish it right here."

Without hesitation, the Cursed Seal began to activate, slowly covering over Kimimaro in an aura of thick, fiery light. When it ceased, Kimimaro was in his Cursed Seal Level 2 form. His eyes shined with a familiar golden hue, and a long tail beat the ground hard behind him. On his back, jagged bones stuck out of all areas around his shoulders, giving him the overall appearance of some prehistoric creature.

Then he held his arm back, and drew his hand into a fist, looking as if he would punch Itachi from where he was at.

"**Tessenka no Mai: Hana (Dance of the Clematis: Flower)!"** In grotesque fashion, his bones seemed to expand over his hand, wrist, and lower arm into a gigantic drill. He made a gigantic lunge forth towards Itachi with it brandished forward, intent on running him through.

Itachi stared on, giving no signs that he would move out of the way, or even attempt to parry the heavy attack.

Success.

Kimimaro ran his bone drill into Itachi's chest, and the sickening sound of bones cracking, tissue tearing, and organs collapsing could be heard as dark blood spurted out of the openings around the collision point.

Then, to add on to the fatality of the technique, Kimimaro jerked the heavy blade upward, opening the wound further and instantly took to the air, with his foe still very forcefully attached to his arm.

But his victory was short lived when he let out a very loud and sudden grunt, this time much more in pain than in surprise. Losing all balance that he had in the air, he fell back to Earth, and landed painfully on his knees. Blood shot out of his chest from the forced impact with the ground.

"What…happened…?" Kimimaro struggled out of his breath, coughing loudly in between words, blood began its descended spill out from between his clenched teeth. "I- _(cough)_ had you…!"

Itachi stood a distance away, and the creepy thing that Kimimaro had picked up was that he was the precise distance away from him as he was before he started the attack. It was as if nothing had happened to close the gap, but now Kimimaro had a mortal wound. A gigantic hole was in the middle of his chest, and turned to the shade, light could shoot out of the other side like a lantern. He wrapped both of his arms around his torso in an attempt to stop the continuous bloodslide going down his abdomen.

"What…did…you…"

"I didn't. _You_ did." Itachi responded darkly before Kimimaro could even if vaguely finish his cryptic question.

"…How…"

"You drilled yourself. These eyes aren't just for show. You are no match for these eyes." Itachi widened his eyes slightly to give Kimimaro the honor of looking at the two red catalysts that slew him.

"And neither was your master. In truth, this battle was decided before it even began." Itachi's eyes suddenly flashed a vermillion fire, but felt contrary to the color, like ice to throw in Itachi's wicked demeanor. _"…The moment you looked into these eyes and sealed your own fate…"_ He finished in almost a whisper.

Kimimaro's face shot to life. He had been played. He was in a genjutsu the entire time, and he just didn't realize.

"It…doesn't matter- _(cough)_ anyways…" Kimimaro's ill voice staggered out again. He slowly hung his head with his enchanting eyes now gradually closing. "I was one…of the only ones…who could detain her…" His voice faded into a raspy creak, as he panted faster and faster, now at the point of hyperventilation. "And you killed me…now…hopefully Lord Orochimaru will…stop her before…"

"…Before what?" Itachi inquired, slightly curious at what the dying words of the last Kaguya clansman would be.

Kimimaro's bleeding mouth cracked into a light grin. "…before…she destroys everything around her…including…the villages…the forest…everything…"

Itachi scowled lightly at him from out of his neckband.

Kimimaro continued in spite of this. "I have faith…that Orochimaru will succeed you…despite all that you have said I know he will find a way. No matter how dim the light is that you see him in, I have never felt more honors alongside any other person. Lord Orochimaru will keep me in his heart forever…"

He opened his eyes once more and slightly tilted his head up to look his killer straight through the eyes one last time, penetrating them as much as possible with his own. He wanted him to remember this:

"But in truth…the one that I hope Tayuya doesn't spare…is you-" He gagged on a few droplets of blood in his final words. The drops planted themselves on blades of grass in front of Kimimaro's knees from their forever fall.

Kimimaro's vision blurred out around a black figure standing completely still in the far distance. Everything else around it was going dark. It felt cold, and he felt tired. His head fell again to look to the ground in front of him, and saw from a different view for the first time how comfortable that the lush, green grass looked. Almost like a pillow to lay his weary head upon. He had never felt this tired in…a very long time.

'_Lord Orochimaru. Forgive me. It's time…to say my farewell…'_

Kimimaro's eyes softly closed shut again, and let his body fall forward onto the soft patches of red and green grass in front of him. For the first and last time in his life, he would finally find rest. What a strange irony. Not in killing, or bedridden in a dark, lonely room, but for a new reason.

'_I love you…Father…'_

The last thought echoed out of his head in the last moment of his life. His body was limp now. A ghost white statue to stand out from all of the shades of green around him. Silence.

From no heard sound or seen movement, Itachi was now standing a few feet away, staring down at the back of Kimimaro's head, at his silver, braided hair.

"I don't know if you can hear me now," He softly spoke through his neckband. "But if you can, I want you to listen closely." He turned his head to look up towards the sky. Dark. There was hardly enough light in the atmosphere to identify it as twilight. He closed his eyes.

"It was true that I did not bother to get to know Orochimaru half as well as you did. But whether it matters or not, he still comes from the same place." He kneeled down on one knee and held his hand out to show Kimimaro his ring, even though he knew that he couldn't see it. "This ring was given to me by the leader of the organization known to all as the 'Akatsuki.' Madara Uchiha was the man's name."

After taking a few seconds for emphasis to reflect upon himself, Itachi stood up straight again. "That's correct. The leader of Akatsuki himself derived all the way from the Hidden Leaf Village as well, and from my own family no less. This ring signifies my association with 'Akatsuki.' But the 'acting' leader also gave your master a similar ring. Now what can that tell you about the Otokage?"

Itachi waited in silence for long enough to be sure to be provided a well-rounded answer.

"Orochimaru came from that very same organization as I, and was in at a much earlier time than myself, looking for something, and not finding it." Itachi turned to look away. "Then I came along. It was a few weeks into the business when Orochimaru came to me during a gathering…and asked me to accommodate him on a mission. With the leader's approval, we were off. He had led me into the ruins of an ancient temple claiming that his spies had encountered unique chakra signatures in the area that befitted our objectives, the Tailed Beasts. But in reality, he had a quite ulterior reason for bringing me along."

The faint clash of thunder could be heard in the background.

"The Snake Sannin tried to take my body for his own using his Forbidden Jutsu that he had spent months – perhaps years perfecting before he, himself joined Akatsuki. For reasons I don't feel that I need to explain, I simply couldn't allow this to happen. For his insubordination, I deemed it only fair that I sever his left hand – a slight personal lesson directly from myself about what happens when you try to take what doesn't belong to you."

Itachi flashed a brief eye out at the two genin and the corpse wearing his identical uniform out in the background, and noticed that he was getting a similar leer from the figure further away from the other two, with his arms folded calmly, and a tan-colored gourd on his back.

Itachi turned his head back and with closed his eyes, he cracked an amused grin. _'Oh dear, Kakuzu. He seems to have bested you.'_ Itachi continued.

"Shortly after the incident, your master left in search of a new body, but truth be told, I think he was a little afraid of me. But do you want to know something very bizarre?" Pause. "…Orochimaru has never parted with that very same ring that the leader had given him to acknowledge him as a member. So there you have it. In a way that none of my other colleagues will accept, I see it perfectly… Orochimaru is still a member of Akatsuki – the same organization that I'm from – the same organization that killed you. Coincidence, huh? Or cruel irony."

Itachi turned his heels and began to walk away. Each step he took was a slow one.

But then he turned his head slightly and shot one last bloody gaze to Kimimaro's battered remains.

"I can't say that I see through your eyes when you look at the pale shinobi, and I probably never will. I'm just telling you how that is. But I can say…you did him proud. If he is truly the man you say that he is, then I know this will be true."

Itachi turned away and continued walking, not stopping as he muttered one last thing while he ambled away with his arms hung down at his sides.

"…If not…then he's just flaunting his good company. He doesn't deserve loyal subjects like you."

* * *

'_He's…walking away…'_ Gaara thought nonchalantly.

The other member wasn't even interested in his ally? Was the expression of 'an eye for an eye' changed over the last week? Sasuke Uchiha had not seemed too gracious towards his allies; turning his back on the village that raised him. And now this one holds a similar chivalry. On the other hand, he did seem to have some strong faith that I would be captured at some point, or he wouldn't disappear just like that.

Whatever the reason was, Gaara wasn't about to stand statue still while the only person that he met who understood him was about to be attacked as well.

As he took a light step forward to pursue Itachi, Rock Lee's exclamation was heard from the background.

"Exquisite form! You destroyed all five masks from the inside of his body!!"

Gaara's eyes widened in shock for the first time that day. _'It can't be…'_ A shadow was cast over him – the source being the familiar figure right in front of him. A green hue of eyes permeated down into his in a malicious stare. Not once had anyone successfully evaded that attack, and he just watched it happen to him firsthand!

Rock Lee's voice echoed again as he came running down the hill, unaware of the second figure.

"Gaara of the Desert! That was ama-!"

A low growl from the other figure quickly caught his attention. Rock Lee froze in disbelief.

"It cannot be! I- we-…_he_ just dispatched you!"

"He dispatched a clone created by my superior that used _one fifth_ of my accumulative chakra."

Rock Lee's jaw dropped. "One fifth!"

Silence was his adversary's answer. The fear-inducing eyes turned back to their objective target.

"If I had known I would see so much action in one day, I would have given it more. But if you don't believe that I am the real deal this time, go over to the corpse of that copy over there and see for yourself."

Rock Lee gave him a stern look with his elevated eyes before backing slowly to where he had left the autopsy. Gaara kept both eyes planted on the rogue ninja to make sure he didn't try anything, and Kakuzu easily countered his cold glare with one of his own. He was just as capable of holding a staring contest as the sand jinchuuriki was, if not better.

Having Gaara's full attention, Kakuzu cleared the boy's conscience with one, brief sentence: _"You simply can't beat me. You never even had a chance to begin with."_

Gaara's scowl silently deepened in response, although he had to admit the effect of his tone made him a bit uneasy. And to do that to a demon container, namely this one, you have to have _practice._ 'Practice makes perfect', as his treacherous uncle used to say. By all regards, this guy was something to be taken seriously.

On his way up, Rock Lee was shot full of questions, one particular one stressed himself. _'Could the other strange shinobi this man was traveling with have the same trick…?_' He continued his way up to the enormous pool of blood that poured out of the corpse's chest all at the same time (much to Lee's chagrin; parts of his proud, green outfit were still splotched with the stuff) as well as even thicker black oil that he was pretty sure they didn't make medicine for.

This time, Rock Lee made no hesitation to remove the lightly pigmented mask, having had permission from the owner. He pulled the piece of cloth straight off, and whose face he saw underneath it left him completely frozen for several minutes.

**A/N: Long chapter? Answer: hell yes. This chapter took me quite a long time to muster, but hey – it is up. Let me know how everything went. The battles are pretty much over now… Fun while they lasted. But hopefully now you know why the Akatsuki members seemed so particularly weak.**


	8. Shock

**A/N: Aaaaaaaaaannnnnnddd…the aftermath…AND BEYOND! But first…**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

**Chapter 7: Shock**

Sasori grinned with cruel ecstasy at the opposing demonic figure, who was still actively and painfully transforming. Leader will be pleased; two jinchuuriki in just one day.

Every member in his organization was assigned a particular Tailed Beast, and to start off with, Sasori, to put quite bluntly, didn't know which Beast his assignment was. Deidara arrogantly claims that he's rubbing off on his own job. Tobi assured it would be okay, but now he no longer had to worry about the inevitability that his shorter colleague was, and still is, wrong. Everyone in the organization had their own perspectives, theories, thoughts, and opinions about how things would look for the puppet master if he didn't figure out his objective quickly and hop to it. But the girl is here now, and he can disregard all of them. It should give the feeling (mentally of course) that some gigantic weight is lifted off his shoulders, but he could savor that feeling for later.

Tayuya kept on all fours as her hair turned lighter and lighter in color, now coming to a hue of ever light pink. With her razor sharp claws, teeth, and her brightly refined slit pupils, she really did look like some sort of savage animal now, rather than the human that Sasori crossed in his scopes earlier.

As her dark aura became more radial and larger in size, the velocity around her began to twist and turn, as if she were controlling the wind. A dust cloud rose in a perfect circular ring around her reformed position and gradually got bigger. A buzzing sound somewhere in the space was gradually getting louder, and was now at the point of sounding like the great vacuum noise of a hurricane.

Her claws scraped the soil that she had her hands on as she tried to fend off the enormous pain of the non-stopping transformation. But she still kept her eyes on the person she wanted to see dead the most. Her face scrunched up into an enraged expression.

Sasori caught a glimpse of something emerging from her backside from out of the corner of his eye. It was bleak-coloured, but it was increasing in length, growing out long and slender while Tayuya tightened her face even more, obviously realizing the pain. Its texture appeared alien; violet static currents seemed to carry throughout the trimmings like some strange electric eel figure. It flicked ever slightly in this direction and that, using flexibility and movement patterns that were surreal.

Was this…a tail? Sasori had never before seen one off of a jinchuuriki, and he had never fought one either, so keep to his guard, he shall.

Then she spoke. **"...You…"** Her new raspy, hostile voice caused a ripple of disturbance in both the visual and sound of the aura that blanketed her new form. **"G-give them back…"**

Sasori regarded her with a silent scowl.

"…**Give them back…"** She repeated herself, her voice increasing in volume and anger.

Sasori raised his tail out in front of him, preparing to swat her with it.

She remained silent for a few more seconds. Then suddenly:

"**Give them back, NOW!!"** Tayuya disappeared from plain view as well as the entire aura that covered her, and Sasori had not even seen the precise second of when that had happened. But he had barely skimmed with his eyes a trail up to him that was stirring from something unknown until it slammed directly into him in one twenty-fifth of a second.

The two of them collided through the air from the great impact, before the bestial girl kicked off of him with both feet, sending herself one direction, and him in another one, crashing directly through a tree and into another one.

Sasori shook with the strained effort to get back up from that attack. _'This girl…'_ But the trail shot for him again, and before he knew it, he was back up into the air once more. He was left to plummet back down, but a dark flash shot back and forth from all directions in a zigzag fashion, slamming and swiping him all the way down.

'…_she's fast!'_

He landed head-first into the open soil from his twenty-foot fall. Dust went everywhere, and once more the sound splintering wood was heard.

Tayuya reappeared into a random spot ahead from out of nothing, and faced him, preparing to launch herself again.

Sasori helped himself up from the ground, and out of pure luck, he still kept in Hiruko, although the old human puppet wasn't looking too healthy at all. His head was hanging down to one side, as the eyes still kept opened to glare right back at her from a side-up awkward perspective.

Sasori also realized another thing. His entire left arm was completely off and gone. She must have torn it off when she continuously pelted him with herself. It will now be harder to hold himself up directly, much less fight.

Needless to say, there was no way he would win with these conditions, not just for the way he was, _especially_ the way she was now.

Tayuya launched herself again, and at the speed that she was going, Sasori was unable to track her with his eyes, so if dodging depended entirely on if you could see the attack coming or not, then he would _still_ get it.

She slammed him from the side, although it could not be seen how she came from this direction. How can she even steer herself?! The two flew a few hundred meters and slid unstopping along the forest floor at a speed of at least ninety miles per hour, Tayuya landing more comfortably, being right on top of Hiruko and riding him along the ground like a dirt sled.

'_One punch directly from her in this close of range and I'm screwed!'_ He barely had enough time to collect even this minor thought with all of the action going on just outside his exterior self.

"**I want them back! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH THEM??!!"** She tightened her clawed hand into a fist and drew it back, preparing to use it.

'_I'm screwed.'_

_-CRUNCH-_

* * *

"Sakon, you down there?!" Jiroubou shouted through cuffed hands over his mouth towards a figure limping west through a dark passage.

The figure stepped out.

"Naw, it's me," Ukon replied through worn breath, heaving his brother fused with his backside. "Get over here, Jiroubou."

As the giant complied, a rattling sound caught both's attention, and they looked up to see Kidomaru fall from above in the trees, crashing through branches on the way down. With his chakra completely extinguished and no silk to spin to support himself (or his fall), travel for the spider shinobi was inconvenient.

"Oomph!" He shouted on impact with the dirt trail.

"Welcome back." Ukon stated as his misfortunate colleague attempted and failed to get up.

"Aw man! You too?" Jiroubou asked, bending over to help his comrade up. He obviously held a bit more sympathy for him than the others did.

"…Extremely…powerful…" Kidomaru struggled over his need for breath.

Ukon took a few small steps in a specific direction, the soil softly patted with each one. "Sakon and I confronted someone tough, too. Woulda' had him if we had taken him together." He scoffed, hinting with the tone of his voice towards his more aggressive brother's foolishness.

"Yeah, don't bet on it." Jiroubou protested. "No offense, but I think the guys who came after us are a little more than even you can handle."

Ukon sneered violently; his nose crinkled up, and turned around to amble towards the unfaithful giant. Jiroubou, fearing for his life, took half a step back in response. There were times where he was thankful for his mouth, and then the others where he just felt like tearing it off.

With much suddenness, a great pulse shot forth and waved over all three of them, grabbing their attention instantaneously. It wasn't a painful feeling, but it was weird, like something was so loud that you would feel your insides rumble. Everyone was silent while they looked around, their heads wandering different directions.

"…Did you feel that?" Ukon asked in a soft tone, his eyes still searching.

"Yeah," Jiroubou answered, being the first one to respond in another half minute. "Feels like a really powerful seal-user was just done in."

"Tayuya? …Surely, you couldn't really be thinking it was Kimimaro."

"Well it wouldn't surprise me; he didn't exactly look in tip-top condition when we left him back at the village."

Everyone stopped again to hear a great rumble, like somewhat of an explosion, further up ahead, about five hundred meters further west. But it sounded much closer than that.

"…What was that?"

"Maybe it was your stomach." Kidomaru teased, dusting his cloth off.

Jiroubou turned to glare at his smart-ass teammate, but Ukon cut them both off.

"By the sound of that impact, I'd speak for all of us when I say we don't want to bump into the person who caused it in our current conditions."

"But it's in the right in the middle of our route to the village. Do we have a choice?"

Ukon frowned and got into his semi-rested position, bending over slightly into a half-crouch. Something that either he or his brother (mostly his brother) did when they were in extreme exhaustion. The times didn't come that often. He pondered hard with his head leaned forward towards the path, glaring it down.

After a few minutes, he gave in and let out a soft sigh with closed eyes.

"Fine then, forward," he issued the command finally. He gave them a stern look as he went along. "But I really hope I'm wrong about what's causing all this."

To keep from re-opening their wounds, and to savor their energy, the three sprinted down the path instead of taking the faster way through the trees, which required even more excess movement.

Ukon clenched his teeth in a troubled thought, his eyes glared with the potency of sharp darts.

'_Don't let it be what I think it is… Don't let it happen now…"_

* * *

Tayuya made no further prolonging to go for the head – pieces of flesh and wood, the occasional tooth and eye, flew everywhere from the demolition point. The impact was devastating and loud.

Tayuya prepared another punch, but unknown even to her, a fair-sized black streak of cloth shot out of one side of the body and into the open, swiftly taking through the air from an invisible lift and landing gracefully a few meters away from the upset demon. As slow as a zombie, the new figure, a humanoid shape with a black, tattered cloak completely covering it from head to toe, rotated its frontal side to get a good look at the creature with his 'own' eyes.

Tayuya faced completely the other way, making no such acknowledgement to the person behind her, and whether she knew that his old shell was no longer operative, she threw punch after punch at the now irreparable puppet that she was still on top of. Every impacting blow made with her phenomenal strength, more dust and pieces flew and extremely loud blasts could be heard for miles, echoing through the canopy.

The shrouded shadow stood stationary and still for a few minutes while it watched silently as she destroyed his once favorite puppet. If he had stuck around in there another minute, things would have looked bad for his precious centre. An expression unrecognizable, he stared through a blank, torn-black rag that covered the head and body. How he was able to see, no one would figure out.

The person blinked underneath it. _'What is she doing to my puppet…?'_

Blasts continued to implode from the now unrecognizable wooden pile where the girl's wailing arms mercilessly continued to pulverize. Powerful winds swept back along with the flying dust and debris from the wreckage, failing to move the cloaked shape, but made the rags sway a great deal amongst it.

The collisions' power showed no signs of letting up, but over the deafening sounds, Sasori could still hear the girl screaming violently. **"Give them back to me! Give them back, give them back, **_**give them back!!**_**"** She repeated again and again with each punch at the increasingly crumpling form below her.

With the last word came the most powerful of the punches; a blinding amount of purple chakra gathered to her lower arm shooting dark rays out of all sides, and she lifted it so high that all of the smaller rocks and twigs around her jumped up into the air with it, and she brought down a terrifying smash to whatever remains of her foe there might have been.

_**-CRUNCH-**_

The remains were crushed into nothingness, a crater with a diameter of sixty feet where it once was. The rocks all around her crumbled as well and great cracks continued their spread through the hard ground even after the initial attack. A great wave of energy gave outburst in the form of wind, this time, Sasori held on tight to his shroud with both hands to keep it from flying off. The dark, worn clothing moved in crazy motion in response to the violent cause. After fifteen seconds, his grip on the garbs began to relax, the velocity of the terrifying wind died away.

Dust filled the crater like a cloud so thick. He would have to wait even more to see the outcome. Sasori began his progress towards that exact spot, ambling slowly to avoid causing another commotion. His sandals softly patted the ground with his light steps.

Another minute and the smoke finally cleared out, revealing the faded first impression of a girl, perched on all four in the heart of the pit that she had made. Her growls were weak and cracked while she attempted to hold a threatening composure, her gritted teeth together, but ultimately she closed her mouth and shut her eyes with such a miserable face, even for a monster, that Sasori complied to stop his approach at five feet away from her, the black top of his form tilted downwards to show he was looking at her directly through the ugly sheet.

What he saw afterwards confused him even more. Wrapping her arms around herself, she fell to her knees; tears streamed down her darkened cheeks. Her sharper fangs stuck out of her mouth as her face twitched up every now and then to let out a small sob.

Sasori had realized that he had gotten what he had wanted, but he now considered the fact that this was a bit much. It was pitiful watching this creature, the first person to pose such a great threat to him for years, beat one of his former favorite puppets to a pulp, break down in front of him, and only _then_ cry. But he had a hunch that this cry was not for mercy.

"G-give them…" She persisted to call on to him, her voice to his surprise, became her normal one, although it was much more desperate and soft – without a hint of cruelty. It was somewhat soothing to Sasori's ears. Though she wasn't speaking to him directly, facing another way, it gave him the supposing thought that she may think she was still facing Hiruko. There was something about that particular form she just didn't like. "I loved them so much…and you took them away…f-from me…" It was as if she had two sides. Bold and Timid. Anger and Sadness.

…_Good and Evil._

Sasori stared down to her, just as unreadable as he had ever been before through his still concealed face.

"Poor girl. The stress of the fight must have made you delusional. I'm not who you think I am." The voice spoke underneath the severed rag. It was a young man's voice, much lighter on anyone's ears than Hiruko's.

Her slit eyes shot wide open at hearing this tone, gasping at just the time. She snapped her head towards him in shock, causing him to break out of his boldness and shoot backwards. Upon landing, he threw his arm back to reach for a scroll strapped to his back, but this movement was cut short by a panicked voice ringing out from right behind him.

"**Where did he go?! **_**Answer me!!"**_ It shouted in demand.

His head twisted itself unnaturally all the way around with a crick to catch a glimpse of Tayuya about to throw a punch just for him.

Sasori felt his whole figure jump. _'I got careless! She's too fast even for me to draw puppets from this distance and angle!'_

As he was at the mercy of one of her one-hit wonder blows, a powerful pulsation rang through Tayuya's body once more.

"_**Nnggh…"**_ She grunted with discomfort. She could feel blood pounding through her ears in response to the violent of the pulsations rapidly increasing in rate.

A sharp pain, like a knife slowly being driven into her spine, caused her to groan in agony. Finding her forced to all four once again, Sasori had a close up view of watching another strange tail force its way out. A gruesome sound went along with it as it peeled itself.

"Another tail." He took this time to swiftly draw a scroll out like he was in a gunslinger showdown movie. But he was interrupted this time by a kunai flying through the air and nailing him in the shoulder joint, dislocating it. He effortlessly pulled it from his torn cloth and turned his head in annoyance.

His scanners caught Ukon straightening himself from throwing position and glared suspiciously at him. Two other figures showed up closely from behind.

Ukon's eyes dilated into olives in panic at what was on the other side, behind the cloaked stranger. Silver lightening was lashing out in all directions with a black fire as its base at a figure that he recognized very well, despite the demonic modifications to her appearance.

He turned back to Sasori, but didn't drop from his terrified look. "You- do you have any idea what you've _done?_"

Sasori answered to only this with neatly folded arms. "I know what I am _going_ to do. I am fully prepared to end all of you to do it. Is that really what you want?" He spoke with calm, cooled voice.

"Ukon, we better finish this guy quickly before…" Jiroubou cut himself off from his own warning, not wanting to think about what would happen if that _thing_ got loose.

"Y-you don't understand," Kidomaru spoke out in protest against the mystery shinobi's actions. "What's happening to her is a mistake! We're the few only ones left who can fix it, but you have to let us! Get out of the way, NOW!"

Sasori turned his head to face him directly. "You'll…'fix' it? You'll…_'take care'_ of it?" He asked jeeringly, bringing out references from earlier on.

A bead of sweat shone on Kidomaru's face as he gave him an uneasy look. Sasori turned his attention down to an unconscious blond girl lying face-down on the ground next to him. "…That's just what _this_ one said." He nudged the body playfully with his foot.

Jiroubou was the next one to speak up. "Look buddy, your chances of getting away with doing something like this are puny as they are…"

Sasori turned his head back to stare him down silently for half a minute as the girl behind him helplessly continued to transform, engulfed in unnaturally-colored fires. Then he gave his answer.

"You want her," Sasori stated smugly with his arms still folded. "Why don't you make me move?"

All of the opposing glared him down. Being in their weakened states as they are, the last thing they wanted for the day was another fight, so they tried reasoning. This failed horribly. Bluffs probably wouldn't make the situation much better, but Kidomaru gave talking the man out of it one last time.

"Just _what_ do you plan to do with her?" Kidomaru continued, angry at his answer. "You think you can _control_ her? All that power? And what would you do with it anyways?"

A pause.

"You'll see."

"Forget it, Kido. This guy's beyond words. Let's finish it quick, then." Ukon proceeded to rush Sasori, but felt himself fly backwards, being pulled by something invisible. Jiroubou saw him coming, and barely readied himself in time to catch his friend.

Sasori stood still, watching them recoil for their next approach. Grinning from underneath, he knew that if they survived long enough, it was only a matter of time before they found that racing to be the first ones up to him would do little to no good.

Ukon slid off of his bigger ally and unto his feet.

"Did you see _that?_ How are we expected to beat anyone in our previous conditions capable of doing something like _that?_"

Ukon was getting tired of Jiroubou's pessimism, and he showed it through tone.

"The idea was not up for _attack_, you ass. I was rushing in for a better look so I could count Tayuya's tendrils." He hissed.

"Okay, okay, fine!" Jiroubou spoke out of both frustration and trying to keep the silver-haired boy calm.

Ukon turned his glare back to his hidden opponent. "Take my word for it," He spoke again to Jiroubou. "I'm not as thick-headed in fights as my brother. Remember, I'm the strategic one. It's all in who has what – brawn or brains."

"Gotcha, I think."

"Never mind that for now. We're in luck – she only has two. But we need to act fast, or Lord Otokage'll be furious."

"Uhh, guys…" They turned their heads to see their six-armed friend suspended fifteen feet above ground; Sasori was holding his wrists outwardly up towards him, using his fingertips. "…HELP!"

Light blue, extremely thin threads of chakra wrapped around the six-armed shinobi, restraining each arm and leg. Strings connected to the strong portions of tree branches around, keeping him supported from all sides so he wouldn't find a way free. Chakra strings were still extremely delicate. So thin in fact that it wasn't visible in Kidomaru, or anyone else's eyes, the strings linked all the way back down to the shrouded enemy's fingertips.

The two sprinted in to aid their comrade. Since he was the lighter, Ukon was the one to pull in faster, running headlong of Jiroubou.

"Hold on, Kidomaru!"

"To _what?!_" The distressed voice shouted back.

Sasori turned his head glance at the two on-comers, cracking a grin underneath his rags that only he knew of.

"Slow."

Twisting his whole body to his right, Sasori threw his arms towards that direction, and short afterwards, Kidomaru unwillingly followed that direction, airborne.

The other two immediately scraped their heels to a stop, but were too out of shape this time to catch their plummeting colleague. Kidomaru landed, half of his side into Ukon, half into Jiroubou.

"Oh you bastard…" Kidomaru squeezed anger out of his mouth as he lay sprawled out on his back after receiving the impact. Nothing he could hate more than the irony: someone had just bounded him to immobility, like one of his own attacks, but he lacked the chakra to use his own and show the other guy how it felt. But even over this, Kidomaru was far too weak to be as angry as he would usually. Deciding in favor of the greater good, he put all of his leftover energy into sustaining his breath.

Panting, the other two slowly rose up as well, dirt and scratches all over their clothes and bodies. They each closed an eye shut in weariness and pain, but barely held the other one open to their approaching assailant. They were unable to even see what was coming next.

Sasori stepped closer and closer towards the exhausted and overexerted trio with a striking calm pose, taking his time with each step. He never bothered to remove the large black piece of cloth from over his face, giving him a scary appearance. They still didn't know how he managed to see so well through the thick sheet. Wrinkles and bits of dust stained the surface in some areas small and large, but it did nothing to take off of Sasori's cool complexity.

Getting into just the right slab of distance, Sasori halted in front of them, and threw both hands forward towards them. This time, dark blue strings lashed out of the tips of the fingers, and these were thick enough to be seen easily from even that distance. They sprawled out for the remaining Sound Four like hungry serpents, buzzing with power.

They failed completely to evade the attack, and as a result, the strings wrapped themselves around their selected prey, restraining and constricting all movements that they might use to force themselves loose.

Scrunching up his fingers simultaneously and then pulling back hard, Sasori rounded the three up together back-to-back with each other in the ideal captured position. When the straining of the thread ceased, Sasori had them tight in his very own mobile, A – Rank trap. A trap born of his own ingenuity.

The three glared wearily out at Sasori, knowing that it was all they could do now. If they had the strength that they did when they woke the morning before, who knows? But it was too late to dream, now.

Sasori looked them over from the reigns of his sprang trap, his face deadpanned both under and over.

"Did you honestly?" He asked them, scoffing with his breath while doing so.

The three moved their heads up a bit more to glare with more effect at him briefly before hanging them down again. Ukon's silver hair draped over his face apart from the others, who had their eyes closed in weariness and the feeling of surrender.

Sasori jerked his head back to peer at Tayuya, still transforming – right where she should be. And if he wanted it kept that way, it was time to clean up.

Sasori put both of his hands, chakra strings attached to the fingertips, together in a sound clap. **"Chakra Seichuu no Jutsu (Chakra Restriction Technique)!"**

The dark blue chakra burst into flames, emanating to twice the thickness it was before, and buzzing with ten times the anger. All three of the captives screamed in pain with the threads that they were entangled in burn and constrict them to give them absolutely zero mobility. The technique wrapped itself in, and their heads tangled downward and limp. They were completely unconscious.

Sasori gave the success of the attack a silent stare through a face blackened over by the sheet that clouded it. It was one of the smaller techniques that he used when he did not feel like showing someone the true sources of his art and power. The purpose it serves is constructed mostly for the art of interrogation in mind. Using a specified concentration level of his own chakra, he can create physically irremovable barriers over the subject and give them a designated level of pain of his choosing: burn, shock, a freezing touch. Pins and needles, acid, advantage of claustrophobia through use of constriction, Sasori possesses a vast collection of thoughts.

He slowly dropped his arms back to his sides and prepared to uncover his head, gripping the cloth with his hand. Wrinkles formed on the cloth where his tightening fingers gripped it while he took a step forward towards his new detainees.

"Now how shall I-"

A short blade shot in and stuck into Sasori's backside, causing him to grunt with startle. Without bothering to pull out yet another kunai, he hoisted his whole body into a full spin to face the aggressor, fearing it was Tayuya who had done it.

His face softened from contortion and his hand eased its grip from his guise and fell limp at his side again as he saw someone identical to one of the three he had just dispatched instead.

"Hn." Sasori scoffed lightly. His pose straightened.

The double of Ukon glared at him from one barely opened eye slouched figure, breathing heavily in his stead. He was also dirtied and bloody, some of his wounds had not completely healed from his closer-than-need-be skirmish with Hidan.

"Ahhh. Heh, heh, heh, heh." Sasori couldn't help but chuckle slightly. The scene was positively adorable. This bloodied and beaten boy was taking a turn now in standing against him…a big risk at that.

A grin with blood down the side slowly merged in Sakon's face. "…Aheh…what's so…funny…?" For a reason completely unfounded, he found amusement in the situation. He had been out, woken by a cold sweat, and was now facing something that he sensed was stronger than the last man he had fought.

He continued to look over his foe's black, curtained form. Holding his smirk, he turned his wounded face with closed eyes; sweat trickled at the side of his cheek.

…_Much_ stronger.

Sasori didn't answer to him; his guise kept still and silent while he continued to stare. No weapons at hand, he finally started to approach his aggravator. His sandals lightly patted the soil at a slow erythematic taking to the damaged trail on a now scarred land leading up to his secondary focus.

He drew closer, but Sakon held his ground, a hand followed by a wristband clutched his aching side. Blatantly it had been by some horrible mistake to come out alone in the condition he was in, and he just had to laugh at the overly bold decision.

Step after soft step, the living puppet gained ground. Turning his blanketed head without stopping, it was pretty obvious to the Sound nin that he was checking on Tayuya. Sakon had gone half mad with the thought that that…thing had awakened in the younger girl that had become his love interest…the madness probably having something to do with the fact that he was smiling Death in the shroud-hidden face. But put aside, Tayuya's current changings kind of made her look more attractive in a way.

His warmed thoughts quickly pulled back underground as he jumped at the sight of his advocate's head suddenly snapping back in his direction at ten feet away and gaining.

Sasori continued to trek the path, and Sakon hadn't the slightest clue at what he might try to pull. He just knew that whatever it was, he wasn't good enough to stop it, not in comparison to body conditions between the two.

…-scuff-…

…-scuff-…

…-scuff-…

Sasori's jonin sandals brushed with the ground, each step coming in a period between five seconds. He probably wouldn't make record time.

Sakon knew the game very well. He played it quite a few times when he was taking assassination missions. It was his death coming, and he was prolonging it just for him.

-…scuff-

The final step he heard came to a halt, and Sakon looked up from his crouched figure to see the cloaked Death standing no more than five feet away from him, looking down at his much shorter figure.

Sakon looked wildly around the statue-still man, searching his hands and body for any weapon he would pull. No weapon. He would likely finish him with his bear hands, or use some big-shot jutsu on him.

Wanting, yet not wanting to see how he would pass on, Sakon closed his eyes, his hand still on his side while the other one dangled loosely. His heart began to beat faster, resulting in his panting almost reaching the brink of hyperventilation. Sasori easily caught glimpse of this, as would anyone, but did not show response in anyway.

He stood close and parallel, eying the boy hard. At arms reach, he could just as soon kill him right here. He held his index finger to the spot of the sheet over where his mouth would be in self-reflection to the thought.

The longest minute of pondering went by, and Sasori lowered his finger from his covered face. Another thought had crossed his mind.

"You all amuse me so…" He spoke in a muffled, but noticeably ecstatic voice to the panting boy right in front of him.

Sakon slowly opened his eyes. "_What?_" He asked in his own snide tone.

Sasori blinked and spoke again. "I won't bother with finishing you off. If you're not going to put up a decent fight, then I see no point in adding you to my collection. However," He turned his head away from him, and towards Tayuya, who was sprouting a third tail, bristling with a combination of the darkest fire and lightening. "I won't bother saving any of you from _her_, either!"

He burst out laughing cruelly, and before Sakon could even open his mouth in surprise, Sasori was already on his way to a far away tree branch, pulling his body swiftly and effortlessly through the air with the invisible use of chakra strings. Easier than hookshooting.

His raggedy black form landed with success on the destined branch followed by the crash of wood, and Sasori stood straight facing the other way. Leaning his arm against the trunk, he turned his concealed head to face back to the area. There was a good view of Tayuya, the one he had been squaring off with since the early afternoon, the furious aura around her was actively changing from gruesome colors, as she continued to let out a now silent scream from under the almost deafening sound of the immense chakra swirling around her. Three unconscious shinobi were still folded unneatly and rather uncomfortably under the still influence of his special chakra, and a lone figure a few meters away from them barely able to hold himself up with his wounds, glaring weakly at him back.

"Hahaha! If you're still alive by then, perhaps we'll meet again!!" Sasori shouted at him, laughing menacingly as he jumped the branch to the next one over.

And he was gone.

If Sakon had any desire to follow him, he would be far too weak. It was difficult enough maintaining consciousness with a hemorrhage to the head. Not to mention other matters.

Not wasting a second to gawk at the now empty shadowed area high in the trees where Death had taken to, he staggered over as fast as his worn legs could carry him towards the rapidly evolving form that was Tayuya. Drawing near, he attempted to reach for her through her radial cloak, but winced and backed away when the surface sizzled against him. He briefly snapped his head to look at his hand; it was now red and blistered where it was pale only a moment before.

He snapped his head again up to her and called out. "Tayuya! Stop!! It's me, Sakon, don't you remember?!" He struggled at the top of his lungs over the urge to gasp for his breath to make his voice audible over the swooshing and buzzing mixture of her raw power.

She struggled hard with eyes shut tight, her face contorted with veins. She clenched her fangs together so tight that she could completely crumple a kunai if she was holding one with her mouth. Crumple _metal_.

"Tell that other side to disappear! That's not who you are!! Remember who controls the flute!! _Fight it, Tayuya!!_"

She let out a loud, painful scream and the aura around her burst outwards like an ultraviolet bomb, kicking up an enormous fog of dust, and blowing Sakon off his feet and away from his position. He flew helplessly through the air and ultimately into the pile of his unconscious teammates. The jutsu that Sasori had placed on them reacted violently, and the dark blue chakra lashed out to seize him as well. Sakon struggled violently to break lose, noticing the horrible pain of the strings coming even before they latched onto him. But he had no chance against the technique of an S – Rank, healthy or not. The chakra swallowed him in, and before his body could recognize what the pain felt like, he had become part of the decrepit pile. Then he analyzed: it felt like lightening constantly chalking him full through his body. Lightning was his anonymous opponent's choosing. It wasn't a personal Sakon favorite.

Barely maintaining consciousness, whether he had been drawn out of it by the jutsu, or by the force of Tayuya's sudden blast of energy, the only thing he could do was watch helplessly from afar while Tayuya finished her transformation. Never before, however, did he see what she would look like when _all_ of the tendrils would emerge. In a way, he found that he was looking forward to that. One last minute's grace before he dies. In fact, he wondered to himself why he tried to convince her to come out of it. Orochimaru would just kill him in some gruesome manner later.

The trees around the girl bent towards her, stretching their gnarled arms towards her as if trying to touch her light. The straining crackle of trunks being halfway uprooted shook alongside her blending, evolving chakra.

The area began to succumb to a great rumble – the greatest there had ever been in the forest of Konoha since the terrible Third Ninja War.

Sakon felt his eyelids grow incredibly heavy. He felt sleepy…sleepy……so…sleepy……so- No! He had to stay awake! He had to witness the birth of the beautiful demon. There was no other option but that one!

To his chagrin, Sakon frowned upon himself as his consciousness dragged away. His eyes grew darker, and his blinks became slow and weary.

One blink…the breaking forest began to blur and fade. His vision grew dark.

Another blink…his eye was unable to open as wide as the last time; the forest cleared for a moment and became blurred again. The loud sounds were drowning out from him…

One final blink……the last thing his eyes vaguely caught as they slowly opened again and pushed the darkness out briefly was another feminine figure standing a ways from him and Tayuya. He only caught two features to help him out: it was slim, about Tayuya's size before Tayuya had her little…alteration, and a blotch of red hair, about Tayuya's exact color, _also_ before she had started to turn, it now having lost almost its entire pink tint.

'_Two…Tayuyas?'_ Sakon smiled grimly, although wincing uncontrollable from the high-level shocks he received through Sasori's damned attack. _'The last thing I'll ever see before dying…are two…Tayuyas…'_ His vision faded into blackness in this last, humorous moment for Sakon, and he let his head drop down. His silverish hair sprawled out around his face in about the same way (although a different position) as his usually conjoined brother.

Drops of dark blood trickled to the ground in front of him from his face.

The second girl there, whom he had spotted just before passing out, had a hand on her hip. Looking over to the pile of fallen Sound nin, she turned up her nose in a scoff. She then snapped her head over, her eyes shook in fear through a pair of glasses at Tayuya, on both hands and feet, struggling with all her willpower to bare the pain. Bright fires shot up into a great crown off high, and static discharges occurred in this area and that. Three black and violet, whiplash tails wove high in the air, and the other girl estimated about that two of them reached a height of about thirty feet, the third one being the shorter, about half that. Moving with such fluency and flexibility, she didn't even know for sure – maybe they were longer.

But what had taken her aback, more than even the tendrils, was the absolutely, positively, _blinding_ array of chakra coming off of such a tiny source. Chakra that was near half-way to her master's reserves, she was certain. It would explain how she picked it up from so far away, from the North Base in Oto.

She swiftly turned back to the dark backgrounds and cuffed her hand over her mouth. "Orochimaru-sama! Come quickly! I've found it – the source of the disturbance!" She beckoned.

Apart from the aura raging on and the continuous transformation, nothing happened for a minute. A strange wind blew through the hollows of the darker interior of the pass. Then, slow-sounding footsteps treaded through out of the shadows. A pale figure with long, dark hair emerged with his arms neatly folded across his chest. A snake-like grin was wrapped around his face.

He wore an ever-familiar outfit, a long, purple bow was wrapped around his waste, and a weak yellow-colored cloth draped down to his knees.

Looking at what was ahead of him, his grin widened slightly more.

"Kukuku…well done, Karin. I knew you could do it." His voice was as serpentine as his appearance was. Coming out in a quiet, hissing sound, it was clear that he made a point not to raise it often.

Uncrossing his arms, he held an arm up, motioning from behind him. Two Sound jonin immediately heeded the silent call, appearing beside their leader in a flash.

Standing in between the two, Orochimaru cracked his mouth open, and his lower jawbone opened up to five times the length that any human could. Thick, black lines spurted their way out of his mouth like enormous parasites, and took to the ground. Slithering ahead into the area, they immediately followed protocol and spread the search for Tayuya. Moving as swift as black mambas, they gathered around her burning aura, and passed through the surface surprisingly unfazed. Burrowing their own way through the hostile chakra, they slide a few meters into it before brushing with Tayuya's feet. Knowing what they were, they instantly shot upward; scaling her legs, and began to brand themselves into them, following a concrete, singular pattern as they advanced up each one.

In turn, Tayuya felt the pain of the living seal sear into her body, and she yelled in agony, her tails rippling like liquid. The line of Japanese insignias crawled up the surface both her belly and back, shooting into two different directions as soon as they reached her neck. Then they spread lines over her arms and ending at her clawed nails. Tayuya shivered under their ice-cold feel immediately after burning onto her; her Cursed Seal reacting violently and with resistance to them with fire-colored pulsations.

In a moments notice, the two jonin instantly took to their assigned positions adjacent to Tayuya, each standing on the edge of one of the seal designs following up, performing their personal, lightning-fast hand signs in blurred movements too difficult to read. It was clear that this is something they rehearsed.

After some thirty to forty handsigns, they simultaneously slapped both of their palms to the ground, and their light blue chakra signatures rushed up the black trails of seals, each insignia lighting in advance up, leading directly to the girl's body.

Orochimaru folded his arms once more, and smiled on at Tayuya, noticing her pained reaction.

From far away behind a tree, a curtained head peered out only slightly from behind the thick trunk, inspecting what was going on. Someone who was thought to have left _hadn't necessarily left._

Gazing silently for a few minutes more at the corrupt Sannin, he stood completely still behind his hiding place, so is not to make his presence known through inadvertent clicking of his puppet body.

'_Why did he have to show up _here_?'_ He thought, angrily cursing his luck. Arching his hands over his forehead, he used his Zooming Scope feature with his eyes to get a better look. A reeling, whining sound gave way as his pupils dilated widely from under his guise to adjust the vision. _'He's ruining a perfectly good show… Well if he insists on staying, there's no way I can take a jinchuuriki and a former member of Akatsuki with just my power.'_ He turned his head to get a look at the anguished girl. _'…But most of all…'_

Sasori gave an invisible, hated glare from under his cloth at the new group looming over his prize before dispersing instantly from his position, disappearing from the area.

"Hm…?" Orochimaru peeked curiously out of the corner of his eye at the tree that Sasori had just left.

"Lord Orochimaru, is there something wrong?" Karin asked.

He turned back to her to give her his signature (creepy) smile. "…No." He replied simply. "Just a trick of the eyes. Everything in this forest looks so very different at night."

Karin nodded nervously and faced back to the ritual that the other jonin were working on; both of them she could sense were on the brink of chakra exhaustion.

"O…Orochi...maru-sama…c-can't…" One of them squeezed out of their breath, doing their best to keep both hands on sealing position. He was tired and scared for his life; if he let go, he would surely be killed – either by the newly emerging Tayuya, or a really pissed off master.

Both of them trembled uncontrollably in both weariness and fear (mostly fear) when Orochimaru walked closer, his face displeased.

"Oh, come now. It isn't really that bad? Look – you're almost there." He calmly chided them while pointing to their objective.

It was true: Tayuya's demonic aura was diminishing at a steady pace, the colors fading out. She also appeared to be loosing some of her monstrous features; her hair assuming its normal length and color, and her muscles and veins were shrinking back to normal size.

The two jonin gave out pitiful grunts of effort in an attempt to throw in the last small specks of their chakra to the jutsu.

Orochimaru finally just rolled his eyes. "Haaaaah…" He let out a weary, exasperated sigh. Couldn't anyone in his village actually pull their own weight?

"Very well, then. Let me show you how it's done." He walked up in between them and bent over. The two instinctively shut their eyes tight, expecting him to kill them in a wink. Orochimaru set a single finger onto a separate seal leading the same way as theirs. His chakra brimmed a much darker color than theirs, approaching Tayuya at a fairer pace.

Suddenly, Tayuya's eyes shot open in an evil, heated glare, sensing his chakra coming for her. Her pupils completely matched Orochimaru's, and he gave her a fanged grin recognizing this as he dug the tip of his finger deeper into the runes on the ground, sending more chakra into her form.

Her entire form lit up in his chakra color, and she growled fanatically trying to keep it away.

"You will disappear until I need your power." Orochimaru hissed in a commanding tone.

His fingernail dug deeper into the line, and the demoness shrieked one brief, final time before every single trace of chakra around her dispersed and blew away a second later.

Unconscious while she was still standing, she fell to the ground; a huge dust cloud covered her appearance from everyone. Three long tentacles stuck up top from the enormous body of dust, flailing wildly, and they had just an empty, extremely black color now that the brilliant, ultraviolet light that supported them with life had left. The three slim shadows gave out one last ripple of movement, and then collapsed to the ground, knocking more dust into the air with their surprising weight and force. Then, they burnt away in black flames and disintegrated into the air.

Orochimaru nonchalantly stood up straight and crossed his arms. Turning his head calmly to the other two jonin, he asked, "See? Now was that really so hard?"

The two didn't answer him – they were lying on the ground, out cold.

Orochimaru shrugged and began a steady descent into the heart of the area. His feet came to a stop, and he looked down at the unconscious redhead, who was lying on her front. She was completely bare. The transformation had been so powerful, that her ascending form must have burnt all her clothes away. Her cap no longer on her head, her hair was back to her normal color and length, although it was sprawled out over the ground in a messy fashion from the trauma. Her darker, altered tone was gone from sight now, replaced by her naturally beautiful, flawless skin.

Unlike most of her body that had gone back to the way it was, she still retained some of her more feral features. She still had her sharp claws, for one.

Orochimaru's eyes moved in to check her Cursed Seal. A dim flame was just finishing its shrivel back into normal size, whistling quietly before fading completely into the black, three way jagged marks that made up her seal.

Not affected by the sight of her nude condition, he maintained a perfectly calm demeanor turning to Karin. "Throw a blanket over her and let's get her back to the village."

"H-hai…" Karin replied, nodding her head in compliance. She did hesitate for a moment, though. He really wanted that…_thing_ back at Oto? Not that she cared much for the girl before she began this hideous metamorphosis, but she really did fear for future if it involved Tayuya.

Taking a white medical cloth in hands, she walked up to Orochimaru's side and threw the sheet into the air, catching Tayuya's limp body on the way down. They both heard a soft groan come out weakly from under, but ignored it.

Knowing how awkward Karin would feel about picking up the naked girl, Orochimaru bent down and carefully picked up the covered, girl-sized lump rolled up in the cloth. Turning around, he left Karin standing behind as he made his way back to his village.

Karin's mouth opened to speak, but she hesitated nervously before actually speaking. "Orochimaru-sama, wh-what about the others – your elite squadron?" She asked, motioning towards the three members, tied up in the dark blue chakra.

Orochimaru didn't stop, or even turn his head to acknowledge her – only kept his grin. "Leave them." He responded. "They have served their purpose to its full potential. I sense that Sasuke-kun has found his own way back to our village."

Her face lit up. Sasuke Uchiha? She had heard of him. The rumors that Orochimaru had selected him for his next body had been true.

She blinked. Turning her head to look back and forth rapidly and in comical fashion, her sight fell on the two fainted jonin.

"…What about them?" She asked again, her voice quieter than before.

He continued walking. "Leave them also. If they make it back to the village, that's their own reward. If they are weak and get eaten by wild animals…I see no perpetual loss." He stopped and turned his head to reveal his golden pupils glowing in the dark. "…Do _you?_"

Karin flinched and rapidly shook her head. Turning back to give the area one last look, she backed up slowly, and started to follow behind her master, leaving behind six well-bodied shinobi cut from the world, and helpless to follow him themselves.

Darkness and silence.

* * *

The caped figure walked through the leaf-dirt road. He didn't know where he'd go, but he just needed to move.

The faint sound of leaves blowing from their given branches on the trees overhead fell to the sound of wind blowing. His cape drifted slightly in response to it as well, the quiet sound of cloth brushing itself added its own enchanting effect.

To say he didn't know where he was going would be understating reality. The brown and green nightmare he was in must run for tens of thousands of acres, and he hadn't the slightest clue where any of the other members were inside of it.

'_I can't believe this.'_ He thought silently to himself, striding up the trail and passing in between two large trees. _'I had her! That's what kills me, I _had_ her!!'_ He continued walking, getting the exercise that he never saw inside Hiruko. Not that it would do his inalterable body much good anyways.

He put his hand to the left side of his chest, stroking his central core smoothly in an attempt to appease himself with the only part of his body that could feel. It wasn't working. At this rate, someone else will get to the prize before he does – both prizes!

…One he wanted to apprehend as part of his life's goal.

…The other he wanted to kill for himself.

He stopped near a tree with his arms hung down. Then in his own self-frustration, he pounded the trunk with the side of his fist, causing the sound of wood against wood.

"I will kill _you_, Orochimaru." His voice seeped through clenched teeth. His fist grinded up and down the tree trunk, wood shavings peeled from the bark with his sharp knuckles. "…If I have to go through your subordinates, slaughter an entire village, _even kill off my own colleagues of Akatsuki_ to eliminate the competition, I _swear_ I'll destroy you."

He lowered his head, the curtain draped forward. "Oh yes…and I haven't forgotten about _you_…my feisty little jinchuuriki." He added in almost a whisper, his words dripped with extra venom.

His shrouded head turned to the stars in the nighttime sky.

A smirk spread invisibly across his face at the sound of gigantic wings flapping. His cloak drifting in the wind, he continued to gaze up at the wide shadow in the sky, a shape he knew all too well, circling over the stars like a living constellation. It appeared bigger as it took lower towards the land.

Sasori nodded silently.

It was time for him to meet up with the others.


	9. The Bond

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

**Chapter 8: The Bond**

"Out for a nightly hike, Danna, hmm?"

Though the slow, steady flapping of humongous wings nearly drowns out the question, the voice from the top of its shadowed ride is recognizable. A moment to adjust and you would see the long, draped sleeves hanging down at either side of a familiar uniform, drifting against the wind given off from the powerful arms of a great white bird.

The covered figure down below scowled silently. He wasn't in the mood from any Deidaric humor tonight.

One visible eye penetrated from the smaller figure amidst the larger, shimmering coldly down at him for a moment. One stare at his senior got a small chuckle of amusement from himself.

"What are you doing with that blanket covering your body? You look like you got up and marched yourself right out of the morgue, yeah."

The other figure raised a bare arm out of his coverings; a silverish ring around the thumb of his hand shimmered in the moonlight, a crimson seal with an emblem etched itself right in center.

A deep black Japanese insignia in the center of the emblem.

_Sphere._

He grabbed the surface of the cloth right around his face, and tugged at it.

The gentle and subtle sound of the black fabric drifting followed it all the way as it floated to the ground near his feet. A small dust cloud rose around the sides, swept up from the light object.

A heavier set of clothing had lingered under the entire time. A black coat, layered with clouds of red, eventually working its way up to a neckband.

Red hair swept up overhead where the sheet had once covered. The innocent face of a child, looking no more than sixteen of age, graced out of its old, haggard hiding place. By all accounts he was handsome. Flawless, slightly pale skin made up his face, and it looked as if he hadn't suffered a single slight inconvenience with it over all the years.

_A body that never decays, unbound by mortality._

A secret that few are aware of.

It was _his_ secret. He won't share it with others.

His eyes opened up in an elegant shape. No reflection in the eyes. This is _Akasuna no Sasori._

"How did you find me?"

The other man gave a toothy grin. Lightly kicking down with his heel on the head of his owl, he landed it down with enough space, stretching it across the dirt-patted floor, and it automatically folded its wings back in a perched state. He flipped off the top, and stuck the landing with two legs.

"Not hard at all."

"Where're the others?"

Deidara gave a quick look around. Something was…missing from his partner.

Shifting his eye back into fixation on his partner, he asked, "Where's Hiruko, un?"

Sasori narrowed his eyes. "Don't switch subjects with me. Hiruko was decimated."

Deidara's pupil shrank. His host body was…destroyed? Almost unbelievable. That hadn't happened since…

"You encountered someone very powerful, hm?"

"Don't be ridiculous." Sasori scoffed. "I let my guard down and reinforcements came. I could've won against her easy if not for-"

"_Her?"_ Deidara inquired, practically purring out the emphasized word slow and gravely. Quickly switching from a devious grin to a cooing, goo-goo eyed expression, he pressed the tip of his index finger to the bottom of his lips, and stared at Sasori with a single puppy-dog eye that any fan-girl would giggle over.

"Was…she…_pretty_?" He asked in an incredibly shrunken voice.

Sasori countered the question with one of his own.

"Would you like your mugshot to go into the obituaries?"

Deidara shot both arms up towards the sky in the same way a robber would surrender to a police officer, but smiled nonetheless. "Easy goes it, Sasori no Danna. I was only joking. But seriously, you did win, didn't you? No escaping?" He was perfectly aware that he was teasing, but his partner was behaving unusually strange.

Sasori turned himself away, his back to his fellow artist. Choosing to stare at rock over his increasingly irritating partner, he folded his arms neatly over the uniform identical to the other. Hanging his head down to look at the ground, he half-heartedly punted a mound of dirt up, creating a meager dust cloud and the light sound of gravel to roll with it. After a while of silence, he lightly lifted his hand up without breaking from the cross, and fingered the latch of the zipper, half out of mind.

Finally devising the most well-rounded answer, he turned back to face him directly.

"I'll share my stories with the _real_ you, along with the _real_ everybody else. But you tell me, have you apprehended the Fox?"

Deidara shrugged his shoulders, causing Sasori to close his eyes, furrow his eyebrows, and sigh in annoyance. He remembered that Sasori was the only one coming here who hadn't used Pein's jutsu.

"Beats me. But I did my part and blew out two of the targets. There is no way they could have survived a blast with that amount of C-1 clay."

He gave a somewhat surprised look as Sasori again turned around and walked on, his arms neatly folded, and his grayed eyes leering ahead. He was pacing. He was coming up with a brand-new plan, and he was doing it with much anxiety.

Deidara groaned and rolled his eyes before walking up to close in on his pacing pattern.

Either Sasori was not aware, or he didn't acknowledge the fact that he was being followed closely from directly behind everywhere he steered himself.

"I don't understand, so please explain. How could your host body be _destroyed_, hn? I know that a _genin_ couldn't pull that off. Are you slipping, Master, hn?"

A short, semi-second groan immediately followed the question, but Sasori kept power-walking.

"_Did you feign death…?"_

Sasori stepped on the breaks, shot himself up into a straight position letting off a loud click before snapping his whole body around, springing forth to his partner, and quickly throwing his face within inches from his, locked on him with a horrendously psychotic wide-eyed stare that Deidara rarely ever saw, but definitely knew what it meant.

He called it 'Sasori's Happy Face'. He used it in the event that he kills people in ways that weren't invented yet.

Before things could get out of hand, Deidara closed his eyes and smiled nervously, raising his hands in front of him.

"Kidding, un! Just kidding. I know that you wouldn't do something that shameful and pathetic."

Sasori ran both of his hands through his red hair without dropping his severely distressed face, and turned around with it to continue his laps.

Deidara sighed in annoyance again.

"Well if you're going to be so melodramatic about this, can we at _least_ join with the others now?"

Sasori's trail stopped. He deadpanned the ground he was standing on. Both of his sleeves draped lazily at his sides while he remained silent.

He was brainstorming the day. What had he learned? Well, for one, _don't_ procrastinate. For Kami's sake – _don't_ procrastinate! Sasori should have been well aware of that rule above everybody else, so why couldn't he follow it?

It should have been easy.

It should have been swift.

It shouldn't have taken that long, but it did. No sense of dwelling on mistakes past would really cover it up. But he really could have gotten it over with earlier in the afternoon before she transformed. But then on the other hand, he had not really known that she was a jinchuuriki now, did he? He could have killed her and never have realized what she was.

But he still had time. He had _all the time in the world_ to set things the way they should go. _His_ way.

He put his thumb to his mouth and bit down on the nail.

'_Next time.'_ He decided. A devious grin worked its way to both ends, his teeth still slightly pressed down against his thumb.

'…_Next time.'_

He turned back and stared at his partner with the calm demeanor, lacking of any emotion, like he knew he was used to.

"The Moonlit Plains, is it?"

"We discussed we would meet up there. It's a wide stretch of land, so it'll be easy to distinguish hundreds of feet in the air from all of the crowding trees. It's the ideal gathering point, un."

"…It's rather late."

"So now we'll know why they call it the 'Moonlit Plains', right?"

Sasori unzipped his coat only a small ways and slipped a hand into it, intent on reaching his inner pocket. Shuffling around for a few seconds, he turned his head back to see Deidara waiting patiently, regarding him with a smug grin.

Finally Sasori found what he had been looking for, and he slipped his hand back of the gap to pull out a silver pocket watch, a mechanism that fit in the palm of his hand. A thin chain linked the watch to the insides of his clothing, hanging out of the gap where he left his uniform unzipped.

Deidara took note of the tiny trinket and cackled.

"I didn't know ya had a _pocket watch_, govna'!" He blurted hysterically.

Sasori averted his gentle gaze from the tiny decoration to look to his partner. After a moment, he let his eyes lazily wander back to where they were, looking over the surface for scratches or tarnishes.

The watch protector shone with the slightest hue of blue at the moonlight reflecting off of its smooth surface. There were no such flaws visible to mar the essential beauty of his possession. Sasori squinted to recognize beautifully decorated patterns of thin vines evenly stretched and wrapped around the frame. It looked like some Greek design, with the ever so tiny leaves sprouted all over each limb of the vines. He loved to stop and stare at his precious keepsake every time there was a place with beautiful sources of light and _only_ the right amount, so that there wasn't so much light that he couldn't identify it, nor so little that it just didn't make it worth the look.

An extremely tiny, almost unrecognizable grin departed from Sasori to his family achievement. It was truly beautiful. Parts of light danced in shapes of broken fragments of glass when he ever so lightly tilts it with a careful hand, thus altering the positions of the reflections of light. The chain attached let loose long series of chimes, each with equally tiny frequency in sound as the links tapped each other. A silver metal, a silver moon. Silver upon silver. The vines etched on the trimmings of the sides of the cover were illuminated from the outer lines like neo.

He will trade in every single one of the puppets in his collection before he lets Suna get _this_ back. For this was the ideal example displaying everything that Akasuna no Sasori stands for. This charm was his guardian angel, and he was its.

It was a bond.

"My great, great grandfather brought this back from jolly old England, during the time of the First Kazekage. It's an antique. As you can see, the silverwork is still just as flawless and well-kept as it had been when I first took it with me in secret." Then he decided to add more clash to what he was saying. "The beauty of this watch preserved through these long years is just another example of how my art overshadows yours."

Deidara slipped out from behind him and peered at it from over his shoulder. Having analyzed it, he thought it best to get one point out of the way before starting on the other. Closing his eyes in a formal way, he raised his index finger and pointed up, the same way a teacher would lecture during a class.

"The thing that makes my art different from yours is that I limit the exposure, the way it should be when people see it. Think of it as fireworks, but not too literally. When a firework goes off, it is bound to get a more pleasing effect out of people than when they just look at a firework in, say, a picture. Once you show somebody a new puppet, they may stand around for an hour at best going, 'Ohhh wow, it's pretty' before getting tired of staring at the same old thing. With my art, people are limited to only seeing a minute of the beautiful combustions I make before begging for more – which naturally I give them. Every explosion - art..." Sasori lazily set his gaze on him without bothering to turn his head, knowing what was come next. …is a real blast! Haha!"

Sasori ignored him. There were plenty of opportunities to argue his point later on, but between the mission and looking at a once-in-a-decade magnificence, there were more important things. Eying the watch once more, Deidara got to his secondary point.

"As for your watch, it's not perfect. But Master, you've been keeping it safe and well for so many years. You care for it deeply. Not a care in the world for other people, but you would throw everything aside for such a tiny little thing."

"…You don't understand it."

With the elegance of the gentleman, he used the thumb of the hand holding the watch, and flipped the latch of the covering open to check the time.

Deidara saw what he was doing, and decided to break it to him.

"Now you honestly can't tell me that something so old works just as well as it did back then. If you didn't spend so much time gawking at the exterior and not the interior, you would probably find that something so beautiful turns out that it doesn't work anymore. It's for the same reason that the Gilded Age in America got its name, un. Something that looks good on the surface turns out to be total rubbish. Like trusts in corporations."

Sasori scowled without looking back at his egotistical comrade, and let his eyes befall upon the tiny arms representing the minute and hour hand of the small, portable clock.

Nonchalantly, he held the clock up to his face, following Deidara's statistics with one word.

"Works."

"Eeeaaaahhhh?!"

Watching the second hand tumble by at perfect pace, Sasori closed his eyes and smiled as he imagined a metronome ticking in harmony every time the second hand hit a dash mark. Soon after, he was unknowingly rocking his head slightly back and forth in the rhythm. He was so charmed by the imaginary sound of gears clicking and tumblers ticking, that he had lost himself in his thoughts and was now floating on a cloud that separated him from reality. Time is such a precious thing…

…Oh…that's right…

Realizing this, he blinked his eyes open. Snapping back to what he was doing, he slowly blinked again.

'_11:47…'_ He certainly didn't make record time, that last battle.

"Everyone agreed to meet at midnight."

"We did. There would just be no style in high-ranked ninjas gathering in the middle of broad daylight. Nighttime, and the especially late hours, are when all of the shinobi of each village see to the safety of their own cozy little cottage homes in the event of enemy ninja, bandits, or raiders possibly making an after-dark attack. Is that not hilarious?"

Sasori used the pointed tip of his finger to gently close the lid of the clock. It made a small clap to confirm that it had closed completely. Then he slipped his antique back where he got it, along with its equally beautiful chain it linked to. Where the other end of the chain met is unknown, but by the length of the link, it is certainly somewhere to the _high left_ of his torso.

He raised his hand out in a semi-wave. "Well, I'll meet you there."

Deidara's jaw could have quite literally dropped to the floor. There were clearly better options open than just walking. Did he not realize this quite right? He was about to offer…

"D-Danna, y-you can't seriously be…"

"Serious?" Sasori turned back to face him and grinned in a way that was just asking for trouble. "Of course. Do you honestly think that I'll sit around with you on the back of that miserable mound of sod you call 'art'?"

Deidara's expression was thrown into full comical. Off guard, the sudden attacks had clearly swept him unbalanced. Is there going to be an artistic debate _right_ now?? Hardly the time.

"Why, I'd rather perform surgery on myself right here in the middle of the wilderness in a clueless, particularly aimless attempt to change my heart to go with the rest of my body than to throw myself to shame riding a piece of my rival artist's 'showmanship'. Art that lasts forever will always take the win. Understand my meaning? Good. Never forget that."

Deidara's eye gleamed coldly at his bastard of a superior. He had never made his insults towards his art quite that direct.

"You're very bold…even if it is _you_…" Deidara was furious, and he showed it through vocals. It was a tone that no one – even the ones associated with him were accustomed to hearing, but he just used it. "I'm sure that even your fine puppetry won't keep the wood from rotting thanks to the humidity of a high-temp forest. Decompose the whole way for all I care, hmph!"

Sasori pretended to be startled and taken aback.

Deidara didn't bother reading his face in response to the snappy comeback before leaping high over his perched statue and lightly kicking the head of it with his heel again, making it come alive once more. Rolling his eyes, he blew the long bang of blond hair from his face in annoyance.

Two gigantic wings swept over, knocking up huge clouds of dust, flapping faster and faster to gain an early lift off the ground.

Before he knew it, he was back in the air, leaving Sasori far behind below the trees around the launch point. Deidara felt the gentle breeze sweep over his face and through his lengthy hair. But he had hard time thinking about anything else when he just had an argument with his danna. The asshole can find his own way to the Moonlit Plains; plains that by the way happened to be tens of miles away from his current point. He's got a long road ahead of himself, but it serves him right every step of the way. He overlooked his own position.

Deidara grinned to himself. The others will probably be asking about him. It'll be up to him to come up with an excuse for why he doesn't show in time.

"Poor, simple, simply-stupid Sasori…you should have rethought your words before they emerged. And frankly, I'm surprised that thing that you have with you didn't bust on your first day with it…"

"_Deidara…?"_

Deidara immediately sweat-dropped.

"Aw shit he followed me."

He fought the urge to dive off of his bird while suspended hundreds of feet in the air to escape a quite possibly pissed-off master. He shut his eyes tight, as if instinctively anticipating a long row of poisonous blades to lodge into his backside.

But then, putting his best act together, he forced himself to turn his head around and gave a wide, toothy smile.

"Hiya, Master."

"Save your 'hiyas' for karate class, Deidara."

"For the record, a little over ten percent of what I just said was false."

The black figure behind him sat at the tail end of his bird, one leg was hanging down and swinging lazily from it while the other was firmly planted. Arms folded neatly, he answered back.

"Then I believe it."

"Is it time for a major 'I-told-you-so'? Is my art really that useless?"

Sasori's head twisted all the way around to face him, making the sound typically generated from a wind-up toy.

Shudders instantly entered Deidara. It gave him chills when his danna used his unusual conditions for things like that. The undeniably scary wide-eyed leer that he was using right now just added sprinkles to the topping.

"Ah, well, wouldn't you know it I changed my mind at the last minute and decided to ride it just this once. …Just this once."

Deidara gave him a worn look. _Obviously_ that wasn't the case.

"Well, make-believe time was fun…now that it's over, gimme a real reason, un."

"How can I put this…? Hmmmm…" Sasori purred out as he pretended to actively think with his head still unnaturally twisted all the way around. Staring at him that way a few moments longer to let the feeling sink in, he finally twisted it slowly back to the way God would have intended it to be. After a long, played-out pause, he turned himself around properly and put on his best impression of the goo-goo eyed face that he recalled Deidara making earlier.

"…I was kidding, _un_." He was sure to grunt out the end with extra effect.

Deidara's jaw dropped for the second time that night, possibly lower than it was before, which would have made Orochimaru jealous.

"D-did you just use my speech impediment, un??!!"

Sasori's face instantly turned serious.

"Remember, Deidara: you're not the only one who knows how to be facetious."

Sasori spoon-fed him the hint that his idea of jokes was a lot less decent and more messed-up than his. And yes – it was something to brag about. In spite of this, it was for everyone else's own good that he keep from joking. That's why he hardly ever jokes. Practical jokes, he might actually wind up accidentally killing someone he's not supposed to.

Deidara snapped his head back in a huff to continue looking ahead. What. A. Dick.

"…Say, this thing looked a lot faster when I watched it from the grou-"

"Oh don't make me throw you off the bird, hm."

Kakashi continued swiftly following Pakkun through the trees in the forest; a forest that almost seemed haunted now that it was dark, and not many of the shinobi, even the advanced ranks, took through them like this. In some missions, yes, but it wasn't a routine basis. It was even more difficult to find your way around a forest when it was dark. But the Copy-nin was more than capable. He had faced incredible odds before. And all he needed to do was follow that big implosion of energy…

"The scent's getting stronger, Kakashi. This way!"

He leapt through another branch, nearing the wide open fields of the Moonlit Plains. Out into the open, he dashed along the grassy surface, far to preoccupied to save his students to pay attention to the pail corpse lying face-down on the ground a ways back, and even to the tall, black figure standing up to watch him go, hauling something the size of a child over his back…

'_No worries. Itachi will take care of him…'_

Then the head of the figure turned upward towards the dark sky. The air has thickened and moistened. Tonight, it will rain.

Three figures simultaneously leapt in around Kakashi, sprinting in his same direction, with their arms thrown back to balance their maneuverability. Asuma, Kurenai, and Anko. Following up, two additional shinobi with darker clothing also leapt in. Both of them wore a mask that seemed to represent a kind of animal, though one's had single red stripes going down the cheeks, and the other's had multiple, thin stripes design of the same color. The single-striped ninja had long purple hair flowing smoothly, while her friend had exotic ornaments in her hair holding up two long, blond bangs that dropped down on each side of her head.

"Kakashi." Asuma alerted him, still dashing along.

Also dashing, the Copy-nin didn't look back at him to answer.

"You all followed me. Why?"

"This concerns our students too, Kakashi. And you don't really think we'll let you hog all the fun, heh? Even though you intended to go it alone, this mission was given by Tsunade to _all_ of us."

"Asuma is right, Kakashi. And after what Rock Lee told us, you really need to let us in on this as well." Kurenai added.

* * *

_Earlier-_

_

* * *

_

Rock Lee was panting profusely and down on one knee, while the other figure took a step towards him, seemingly unfazed by the fight – if it could even be called a 'fight'. One blow through the use of one of the man's weapons was easily ten times the strength of any of the other ones from that previous form. He had already struck Gaara down, and he made it look like it was nothing.

And now, ten seconds of fighting toe-to-toe with this man had left Rock Lee on the brink of collapse. His taijutsu was almost as respectable as his ninjutsu. He knew that he was outmatched by every way.

The opposing figure took another step. The Power of Youth won't be saving him this time.

The man with the evil eyes raised his arm up and outstretched it towards the helpless boy. There won't be escaping the attack, this time.

Kakuzu launched his hand out to finish him off, and Rock Lee tightened his closed eyes.

The sound of stitches snapping and wires whistling passed him, and wanting to know what had happened, Rock Lee dared himself to open his eyes again. Pleasance greeted him.

"G-Gai-sensei!!" He smiled, tearing up in the eyes.

His teacher firmly stood his ground in front of him, struggling in a death-grip with the detached hand which had attempted to end his student's life. His arm locked over the dead-looking hand, but especially for how detached hands go, this one was really strong. The wire holding it up throbbed furiously like some big organ.

"Rock Lee…" His voice shook, and it was hard to tell if it was because of his current dilemma, or that he was overtaken with joy that his precious student is still alive.

"…wh-what were you thinking…going out in your current condition…?" As much as this should have sounded demanding, it was much more of a friendly question.

"Interrupting my attack…" Gai snapped his head back to follow the low voice to its source. "…Both of your lives are now forfeit."

He sprung forth his second hand. It whistled on the wires as it went for Gai with the intent of strangulation.

The older version of Rock Lee threw a high kick and knocked it off course, sending it whistling skyward. Dark gray wires littered the field around them, entanglements here and there, pulsating grotesquely like veins of a heart. And the sound was the throbbing of a heart as well.

Gai was far too concerned for the safety and well-being of his student to pay it that much heed.

"C'mon Lee. The Spirit of Youth will burn to fight another day!"

Before Kakuzu could use his area attack, the strange pair disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

The old ninja relaxed himself, glaring at the spot where they had once been.

"Hm."

-------

"Hokage, we'd like to report."

The scene had changed and they were back at Tsunade's office in Konoha. Tsunade sat looking at them from a desk covered with towers and towers of yesterday's paperwork. She clasped her hands together. She wasn't much brightened up from the moment that she sent out the squad for Sasuke. But seeing that Rock Lee had returned safely, some of her stress was uplifted. But it looked like he had been roughened up quite a bit, due to the bruises on his face and dirt around some parts and on his outfit.

Nevertheless, she acknowledged him with a smile.

"Well done, getting Rock Lee back to the village, Gai."

Gai struck a pose. "Ahh, well, you know, saving my young-spirited comrade is its own reward and all…"

"Rock Lee, step forward."

Remembering why they had come, and self-admittedly getting a little too full of himself, Gai grimly lowered the pose.

"It's all terrible, Hokage-sama! Gaara of the Desert is dead!!" He grunted in pain and gripped his side with his arm. It would be better not to speak up after maintaining such injury.

Tsunade's mouth gaped open. That couldn't have been possible! Not by normal shinobi – any shinobi able to take on the Sand's jinchuuriki would have to be as strong as…

"What?! What happened?"

Rock Lee shared his knowledge of the mission status with her.

"I went out to offer my friends assistance with their mission. Coming up to a clearing in the forest, I encountered a strange man whose name I do not recall, but he wore this white covering on his head, and wore an outfit like none the which I have ever seen!"

"Describe it to me."

Rock Lee cleared his throat and continued. "I do not know the material of the apparel, but he appeared to have a black coat stretching from his ankles up to a large neckband covering the lower half of his face."

Tsunade put her finger to her chin. It didn't sound so familiar…

"…And it had what appeared to be red clouds on it."

Her eyes shot wide open. Not wasting another moment to breath, she immediately broke for Shizune.

"Shizune!! Go fetch all of the jounin in charge of the retrieval squad members, Anko, and two of our finest agents of ANBU! Have them gather here!"

Poor frantic Shizune was trying to build herself back up faster than she was falling. This was happening way too fast.

"A-at once!"

"And get Izumo in here!!"

While her nerve-struck assistant stormed out of the room, Tsunade steered her chair to face the window of glass that made up the entire wall behind her. Staring down at the civilized village below, she puzzled over what her next move should be against Akatsuki. Winning was out of the question. The village would have enough difficulty fighting off two of them, as proven through past experience. She could only hope to slow them enough to allow her to think on it some more…

"Rock Lee, I need you to tell me everything you've learned from battling the shinobi you were describing to me. More possible detail of appearance, attacks, strengths, weaknesses, everything!"

Rock Lee saluted. "Yes ma'am!" His grin slowly depleted. "There…was something else."

"Let me hear it."

"It's about…Hayate. You know how he went missing a few weeks ago…"

Tsunade's eyes adjusted on him carefully. She didn't know Hayate personally, as he had gone missing before she returned to her village and became Hokage. After researching the records of all the shinobi it, she remembered his name, face, and background. Hayate Gekko, age 23. He had a long-term poor health condition and had an apparent romantic involvement with Black Op Agent, Yugao Uzuki.

"Did you find something out about him?"

Rock Lee struggled to maintain eye contact with her.

"I did… It was not the Sand, or even the Sound that had caused his mysterious disappearance…" He took a deep breath and continued. "…It was that strange man that I had battled. _He_ is responsible."

* * *

Rethinking back on Lee's grim warning only made the group of jounin realize that there was little that even they could do.

"There's no doubt about it," Kurenai urgently pressed, "'Akatsuki'! It's much too dangerous, even for you."

Anko gave a wide, foxy grin and added on. "You know I always wanted to fight one of those 'Akatsuki's. All I've heard were stories on how great of fighters they are. Frankly the same thing gets boring after awhile, so this oughtta be fun!"

"You already fought one, don't you remember, Anko?" Kakashi hinted.

Anko's face instantly switched from cheerful to one of puzzlement.

"…Orochimaru." He concluded darkly.

Her face instantly crinkled slightly with a touch of anger at the mention of her former master's name. But what surprised her even more…

"_He_ was part of the group?"

"Hokage never told you?"

Asuma decided to cut in. "Now is not the time to be pissing her off, Kakashi! We've got a real crisis on our hands right now!"

His colleague didn't respond. His single visible eye stared blankly in the direction they were bound. He didn't have time for this.

The two ANBU Black Ops going with them kept to themselves, as natural for the elite ninjas to be perfectly silent.

Choosing not to break the silence, they all continued tirelessly through the field, moonlight reflecting off of them from one side, towards the Valley of End; the border between the Land of Fire and Sound.

The roaring sound of water rushing down was distinctly visible from the crickets chirping around the field. A feeling seemed to whisper all around to everybody that that was where they had stopped, Sasuke and Naruto. And they had hoped as much.

Focusing the rest of his chakra to the bottom of his feet, Kakashi accelerated ahead at a blinding rate, leaving the others behind in the dust. All of them shielded their faces from the particle debris for a moment, and then regarded Kakashi's hasty move with surprised faces.

"K-Kakashi, wait up! Don't go too far on your own! You don't know what's out there!"

But in that short instant, Kakashi would probably be a half-mile ahead, by now.

Asuma proceeded to do his own handsign to speed up after him, but an arm reached out and disrupted him.

"Don't, Asuma. Conserve every bit of chakra you have. If this is indeed 'Akatsuki', then we'll need it, fully."

Her colleague closed his eyes and nodded, and everyone continued on.

Kakashi's heels struck water before he knew it.

Gradually he began to feel the sprinkle of water upon his head. It had begun to rain.

With Pakkun by his side, he worked his way through the flooded, ankle-deep water towards someone lying on the ground meters away. Nearing it with each step, Kakashi's fear grew to another level, recognizing the bright-orange color of an ever so familiar jumpsuit.

Picking up on the pace, Kakashi rushed up to the fallen genin's side. Blond, ruffled hair stuck in sight from a face with eyes shut and whisker-like scars. Naruto. He lay there, still, unconscious.

Kakashi got to his knees to recognize a headband lying at his side. A long scar was drawn across the center horizontally, splitting the leaf emblem in half.

Pakkun sniffed it.

"It's Sasuke's."

Looking back, Kakashi saw that Naruto still wore his; a proud, dedicated shinobi of his village.

He closed his eyes in self-shame. If he had been there just a bit earlier…

"I'm sorry, Naruto… I was too late."

"_Too late, Kakashi."_

Kakashi snapped his head towards a voice echoing out from the shadows, right in the centerpoint of the wide gap between the statues of the First Hokage and of Madara Uchiha, the two great founders of the Leaf Village. Between the darkness of night and the even darker shadows provided by the towering statues, it was pitch-dark, and clearly impossible to see through it. The waterfall roared soundly from behind, like ongoing thunder. Rain poured all around.

And then…a faint splash; distinctive even from the water impacting at different frequencies from everywhere else. Someone had taken a step forward, out towards him, Pakkun, and Naruto, who was helpless.

"…_Once more, too late…"_ The voice echoed faintly again, and Kakashi struggled to understand it from the loud waterfall directly behind it.

Another splash; another step towards them.

The outline of a heavy uniform with a neckband gleamed off of the moonlight, almost giving the figure a mystic aura. Kakashi's first guess just by staring at it would have been that it was a ghost, if he didn't know better. His efforts to hear the voice paid off, and he recognized the monotone.

"Long time no see." He said in a surprisingly calm demeanor, despite the grim recognition of the voice belonging to the last person he would like to see at the given moment.

There was a long pause.

"…_Kakashi Hatake."_ The echo answered.

"You bounce back quickly. But coming here by yourself was a mistake. And don't think that I haven't learned from my mistake the last time we fought."

"…_Oh?"_

"You're after Naruto again, aren't you?"

Another pause came between the two. Several more faint splashes in the water as invisible footsteps drew farther and farther out of the shadows. Two familiar, blood-red dots glowed with evil intent at the Copy-nin from the abyss, and they didn't belong to Sasuke.

"Ever the pessimist, Kakashi. You insult me to think that I would claim what 'Akatsuki' are after…"

A flare of white gleamed over the two red dots peering out at him without blinking.

"…without enjoying a few moments with my favorite Leaf jounin."

Kakashi held his glare. "You regard me as your favorite… Isn't that sweet of you." He added a bit of mocking tone at the end.

The opposing eyes gleamed evilly again, and the figure continued out all the way. Slowly as the moon loomed over, the figure's face became more noticeable. The customary scowl marred his lips; his neckband now zipped wide open to reveal the rest of his face.

"…I will _kill_ you."

Five shinobi instantly jumped in and surrounded the ominous man. Each had their weapons drawn; Asuma had his brass knuckles, Kurenai held a kunai patiently, while the two Black Ops behind her had their hands on the hilts of their katanas, preparing to draw them.

Anko stood away from the others, holding her own kunai, grinning at the figure with anxiety.

"Hey Kakashi, aren't you gonna introduce me to your new friend?"

Kakashi never removed his glare.

"The others and I fought him a few weeks ago before Sasuke went missing from the village. He and his partner are both very powerful shinobi. Even back when we outnumbered him, they both escaped after he rendered me unconscious. Maybe if you were there, things would've gone a little differently."

Anko closed her eyes with her smile. "Well I'm here now!"

The surrounded figure leered silently at him.

Anko licked the sharp point of her knife, which brought some slight amusement to Itachi.

He turned his head to face her eye-to-eye. "I was partnered with someone who had a habit like that…"

Anko's smirk never left her face. "Is that so?"

"…Have you ever heard of Orochimaru?"

_Now_ her smirk left. Why was that name being said so many times today?! She was sick of hearing that name. If it came from an academy student, another jounin, the Hokage, or an S – Rank enemy, it frustrated her all the same.

Kakashi finished. "He's Itachi Uchiha – _get back!_"

"…I would love to stand around here and watch the shinobi of the Leaf crowd around my jinchuuriki like cowards, but I have other things to attend to."

Itachi raised his hand up and held a finger to bring symmetry to his face while he gazed at Kakashi.

"Remember he uses eye techniques. Don't look!"

But though he managed to look away in time, it was too late for the others.

Snapping his eyes open, Itachi instantly pinpointed Asuma with a bloodshot eye. Red waves left from his Sharingan, which now looked completely different. The tomoe had conjoined together to form one odd shape. Mangekyou. Kaleidoscope Form.

A great burst of pain swept over the unsuspecting jounin, and before the others could react, Itachi turned his eyes and pinpointed the ANBU agent with the multiple markings. A small beam, like laser sighting, moved rapidly along the surface of the animal-like mask until it found itself in one of the peephole sockets of the eyes.

Nailing a second target, the Black Op also fell to the ground, under the influence of his powerful genjutsu. Her friend grunted in surprise at the sudden fall of her comrade.

Kakashi, Kurenai, Anko, and the red-striped ANBU agent all dashed for Itachi with their weapons drawn.

Kakashi arrived first, but Itachi ducked out of his way, and locked kunai with Anko. Struggling to keep the power over her, he pulled four shuriken out of his other sleeve, and without looking, threw them for Kurenai.

Thinking quickly, Kurenai used her own genjutsu in the form of a handsign and transformed all of the oncoming blades into beautiful pink flower pedals.

The ANBU agent charged the Akatsuki with a long, slender katana drawn, intent on finishing him while he still strove with Anko.

In a flash-instant, Itachi broke away from Anko, leaving her off-guard, and dashed around to the approaching assailant.

He wrapped his arm in a headlock around the ANBU officer, using his other arm to wrench the agent's weapon out of her hand. But he underestimated her agility, and the Black Op threw an upward kick for Itachi's face. He blocked it, and backflipped away.

Kakashi, Anko, and Kurenai all caught up behind the agent.

"It looks like you're out of chakra." Kakashi stated to the missing-nin.

Itachi frowned at his rival.

"You're just as perceptive as ever, Hatake. True, the Sharingan's hidden abilities can be truly overburdening – even the smaller eye techniques can wear away a large amount of chakra…"

The remaining Leaf ninjas once again surrounded him, all serious expressions.

"…But all the same, you forget your place in the cycle. You were smart to bring help with you, and I can admire your thoroughness…but you had never really won against me."

Kakashi's glare deepened. He did understand what he had meant. 'Itachi' wasn't nearly as powerful as last they fought. His chakra would never wear out so quickly in the real fight.

"So…what happens now?"

Itachi grinned. "Now? Now, it happens as it happened the last time we met. I attempt to capture Naruto. You all attempt to capture me. I escape. You escape with your lives." His grin faded into his normal despondence. "…Does that sound reasonable enough, Kakashi?"

The Copy-nin looked around him. Asuma and Komachi were still out cold, facing the ground. He could only re-imagine what the two were going through, right now. He had been hit by that jutsu before. The circumstances for the fight didn't look suitable for himself or the others against the rouge.

He closed his eyes, smiling grimly through his mask. "Yeah… But next time…"

Itachi looked at him nonchalantly.

"Next time, you'll do what?"

"Next time…I swear the Village Hidden in the Leaves will be ready for you. You can't run from what you've done forever. You do remember, don't you?" He questioned assertively. There was only silence on his younger rival's side. "ANBU will find you, and that will be the end of Itachi the Clanslayer."

Itachi glared at him.

He gave a sporty look back. He had struck a nerve.

…Or at least he _hoped_ he did.

"…But I'm sure you already know about all that."

Anko threw both of her arms up high in the air at how the argument was going.

"Woo-hoo! Go Kakashi!!"

Itachi ignored the high-strung woman and continued to leer at his rival.

"If anyone is going to defeat me…" His tone was low and dark. "…It's going to be someone who shares my same blood. Anyone short of that is unacceptable. …I'm leaving…but remember my words, Hatake."

He turned his head to look at the kunoichi facing him on the other side. "...See you three in your nightmares."

Everyone's attention shot alive as Itachi again raised two fingers in front of his face to provide the symmetry effect again.

He murmured one last word.

"**Release."**

With that, Itachi's entire figure burst into black and dark gray flames, leaving nothing behind but a whirlwind of ashes.

Everyone was aghast.

"Kurenai. Anko. Itachi's genjutsu will lift if you touch the people it has afflicted. Go wake Asuma and Komachi before their mentality reaches their limits."

Both of the kunoichi rushed towards their selected targets and shook them. It was no good.

"Kakashi, they aren't waking…" Anko said, giving him a childish pout after trying it on the agent.

Kurenai was using handsigns on Asuma to try and pull it out with her own genjutsu.

"They don't respond with my Release Techniques either."

Kakashi grimaced. Even though it may have only been a few minutes since they were hit, Itachi could trick their minds into thinking that weeks had gone by. Weeks inside his own customized world.

"It's possible that he could have used _Tsukuyomi._"

The kunoichi all looked at him.

"Tsukuyomi? What's that?"

"Moon Reader. Itachi invented it after he obtained the Uchiha's special technique. Why would he really go to so much hype to use it on these two?"

Something dawned on Anko. "Oh, yeah, Kakashi. Itachi's jutsu was radial, wasn't it?"

"…Yeah."

"Then how come you, Kurenai, Yugao over there, and I weren't affected?"

Kakashi looked at her. "Well for starters, I can just about guarantee that his original target was me. But since I looked away from his eyes, it thwarted his attempt to catch me in it. So he must have elected Asuma and Komachi, who hadn't broken away in time. But since he only used it on just those two, I'm guessing that that's all the chakra he had in reserve at the time."

Kakashi looked over the two limp bodies.

"…But they're very lucky. If they don't respond to your touch, then they probably didn't even get hit with Tsukuyomi. When he got me with it, I was told after I awoke from my coma that I was screaming endlessly until they had the chance to release me from it. Clearly Itachi is one of the most formidable members of the organization, and he's only in his teen years! He's…dangerous."

"Then we have something to look forward to." Anko cheerfully concluded.

Kakashi looked at her again in a funny way. Was she really enjoying this _that_ much? She certainly had a very 'Orochimaru' sense of humor. But best to keep that to himself.

"Don't be so sure that he'll come for you, Anko. If you're lucky, you'll become a rival with another Akatsuki. Itachi seems to only be interested in Naruto…and me if I get in the way again – which I _will_." He hissed in a vow for his student, glaring at the smoldering area where Itachi once stood.

Kakashi walked towards Naruto and scooped him up onto his back. Pakkun followed by his side. The poor little dog was shaking after witnessing the episode between the Leaf jounin and that Akatsuki fellow. He had a chance to get in there and bite his ankle, but declined for fear that he would practically get eaten.

"Both of you pick up one of them and come with me." Kakashi ordered. "We'll be taking the long route back to the village."

The two nodded and proceeded to do so. The ANBU agent stood around silently and waited for a few moments. The other two kunoichi were on the verge of following Kakashi, but she just stood there.

Kakashi noticed her absence from the rest of the group and looked back at her.

"Uzuki, are you coming with us?" He hinted at her being distracted.

The young masked woman jumped up slightly with surprise before standing back up straight and speaking.

"Permission to stay behind." Her voice was a soft one.

Kakashi looked at her with a stern eye. He really didn't have time to argue. If an ANBU Black Op felt the need to stay behind, then it must be for extremely good reason. He used to be captain, so he knew.

"Granted. But be careful out there. And don't do anything rash. I'm counting on you, Uzuki."

There was no way to read her face from under that white decorated mask.

"…Hai." The feminine voice stated clearly.

Bowing to the jounin, she disappeared from sight. There was something pulling her back towards that field.


	10. Extra 1: The Handbook

**A/N: Hello, all. This is my first chapter extra, The Handbook. How many of you like comedy? Sort of a chapter that I did out of sheer pleasure and enjoyment, so it may not contribute as much to the storyline. But while I went up and thought ahead, I might as well have thought of a creative way for the Akatsuki to regroup. Think of it as a filler. Have fun reading! Soon Sasori will be on his way to Otogakure to find a certain red-haired kunoichi.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

**Extra 1: The Handbook**

Wind carried through the Moonlit Plains. The grass all around lit up in the moon's luminous beams. It was quiet for all the time spent battling over battling the small scrap of land right smack in the middle of Konoha Forest. Blotches of blood now clung to the tips of grass blades, some where still fresh enough to drip and run off.

In the middle of the field, two figures in black and red stood absolutely still, side by side, staring opposite directions. Every now and then they would briefly shift their eyes to look at each other, exchanging bored, despondent glances from under their custom wicker hats. One figure's eyes glowed with crimson red, the other, sickly green. Each was only to guess what the other was thinking, and their guesses served them well. Although they were hardly guesses at all. They had been waiting for over an hour for everyone to show.

The crimson-eyed man looking to the stars, the sickly green-eyed corpse looked to the ground to find a long, conjoined pair of jaws, as if belonging to some cannibalistic plant, begin to jut out of the ground. Crackling emulated everywhere. For a spy of their faction, old golden eyes there had a pretty noisy way of making an appearance.

The milky sick eyes held their everlasting glare as the jaws slowly split open, now reaching their full length off the ground. The head of the missing-nin appeared, the eye on the white side of his face glowed with its familiar yellow color, the black side, a large, blooded red dot. The moon clearly had strange effects on him.

"Zetsu."

The strange creature turned his head to peak out of his shell at Takigakure's former most powerful. A silent blink from his two differently colored eyes responded to his own name. Two eyes, two different states of mind. This was the reason that Zetsu needed no partner.

"Standing by for further orders directed from Leader-sama. …Kakuzu."

The Kakuzu's glare deepened. Further orders? That better not have been what he doing for the whole day through. Waiting for the goddamn orders. "Well as long as you felt the freedom that you did in fact have this entire time to step in and ensure that the Nine-Tailed Fox not escape, I'll just go ahead and assume that you were actually doing something _proactive._"

The plant-like shinobi tilted his head to the side, much like a dog trying to understand what was being said to them. A stern frown worked its way to both sides of his face. Taking a moment deciding (after arguing with himself) that it was best to just ignore him, he went ahead and made himself comfortable. His darker half already integrated into the ground, he closed his gigantic jaws almost completely, leaving only a small crack to look through as a peep-hole between the teeth. He had come to think of his condition as a mobile home for anywhere and everywhere he may go. It also kept very good at hiding from both plain sight and genjutsu.

A raspy voice called out from the interior of the shell.

"**Watch yourself. We're not that good at handling the particularly funny jokes."**

"Hm?"

"**We'll have you know that we were in fact surveying all of the different battles around the forest for the leader's viewing pleasure. We will only fight if we are called to fight."**

"We _were_ called to fight."

"_**You**_** were called to fight. As much as I myself miss the action…and the blood…and the **_**screaming**_**…we had our own role to fulfill. Say that half of it was announcing that you, your partner Hidan, Deidara, and Sasori all failed in your tasks to kill the objective targets miserably."**

Kakuzu's eyes shot alive. "What…did you just say?"

Zetsu's trap opened to once again reveal the bed of green hair, the two-sided face, and a row of evil sharp teeth gritted together in a horrendous ear-to-ear grin, seeming to only exist with the purpose of taunting his less fortunate colleagues.

"…**I don't believe I need repeat myself."**

"Well what are you smiling for? When Leader-sama finds out, he'll take it out on all of us."

Zetsu switched expressions.

"Well actually, it will only be the ones who actually didn't fully apply their own orders correctly. See, we handled our jobs with the utmost care, with a steady combination of precision and accuracy. Nobody detected us, and we caught all of the feed that we could ever need for blackmailing you four. We are in no such trouble."

"What did you see Itachi doing?"

"Chasing away a party of ANBU and jonin of the Hidden Leaf. It appears as though they were quite powerful. You know about Kakashi of the Sharingan, the two ANBU Black Ops, and various other two, but there was also a woman that goes by the name…Anko Mitarashi."

"Who's that?"

"A kunoichi that served formerly under Orochimaru. Most of her past time with him remains a mystery, but it was always believed that he kept the history of all the shinobi that served and still do serve under him locked away somewhere in Otogakure. But get this. I used _Keiretsu Etsudoku_ to peer into the chakra streams of all oncoming shinobi, and _hers_ was the only one that we couldn't decipher."

Kakuzu stared at him for a good long moment.

"Hmm…it could mean that her chakra is stunted. Ergo, she is actually less powerful than a normally capable shinobi."

Zetsu shook his head without a second thought.

"Absolutely not. She was jumping at the same height and rate as the other shinobi using chakra control at the bottom of her feet. She does indeed use chakra." The red eye lit up to dominate the golden eye. **"She could possibly have power that isn't tapped yet. She could also not be aware that she has it."** The golden eye lit up, and the red eye waned. "That's ridiculous. There should be a definite alternate explanation. If she knew that she was capable of such tremendous ability, don't you think she would have used it on Itachi?" **"…I stand by what I said. You never listen."**

While Kakuzu continued to do his best to understand Zetsu's ranting and raving with himself, Itachi remained silent, not even acknowledge the new presence of another colleague come out. Staring out from beyond the horizon, he spotted Hidan ambling towards them, dragging his scythe along the ground instead of keeping it attached to his back like he usually does. That was a surefire symptom of trouble when reading into Hidan. His head hung down like it was about to fall off? Not as bad as the primary sign, but still…a bad one.

"…From my half-wit partner, I'm sure failure comes to him like the sun comes out every morning. But Deidara? _Sasori?_ Are you for certain?"

Zetsu nodded grimly. He had indeed been the one, who had used _Kagerō_ to move throughout the bottom of the Earth to witness each battle, two of which were going on at the exact same time. But feats like this came easy for the organization's most accomplished spy. He had watched as a spectator watches his favorite sport, even going so far as to add his own commentary, as he often does with himself. But he had seen each member win, just as he predicted they would, and only then to witness the genin crawl right out from under their noses like cockroaches from out of the bottom of someone's boot. Irritating as it was, he finally decided (after _incredibly_ bothersome debating with himself, who didn't much like the idea of leaving survivors) that he should let them go for now as a slight personal reward for surviving an Akatsuki member's attack, even if at only 20%. Was it a foolish move?

Maybe. But he didn't necessarily make the title 'Screw-up of the Day' just for that.

"Kisame also encountered two; he eventually threw them off the edge of a dark ravine. We switched to night vision, but could see nothing. The impact of the fall would likely have killed them – we estimate the size of the ravine at about seventy feet. A jonin _maybe_, but not a genin."

Kakuzu replied with a silent, understanding nod in agreement. Dead. Glad that's settled.

"You'll have to show me the recording of Sasori's fight later."

Zetsu gave a polite, courteous smile. "Alright." His cute smile soon cracked and evolved into a long row of carnivorous fangs as he smiled sadistically once more. **"…BECAUSE IF I DON'T I SURELY WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO FORGIVE OURSELVES! AAAAHHHHAHAHAHAHAAA!!"**

He kept the aftereffects of his psycho face as the awkward silence carried on between him and Kakuzu.

"…Well that's all you needed to say…Zetsu…"

Zetsu tilted his head softly again, using none other than that same confused expression as before.

Kakuzu turned to see Itachi facing the direction that his partner was ascending out of. Switching back into dominant, bossy senior mode, Kakuzu waited for Hidan to amble closer before letting the words out. But he had a feeling that the ass already knew what was coming for him.

"There's fucking sand all over the place..." Hidan complained.

"Ho. Hidan. Perfect timing, you are _just_ the person I wanted to see." He narrowed his eyes over at his silver-haired partner, a shadowy affect looming and covering the two spots where his eyes should be. _"I want to hear…absolutely everything about your day."_

Hidan's bobbed head instantly shot up to glare wildly eye-to-eye with his partner in crime for a minute before jerking it away and murmuring the response, "Fuck you, Mr. Stitches."

Kakuzu kept his glare up a few minutes more, folded his arms, and responded, "It went _that_ bad, huh?"

"Hey, I would really want to hear about what _you_ did when _you_ were away. So what'd ya do, huh? Assassinate all of the world's Kages? Molest all the kunoichi? Maybe you robbed yourself a fucking bank!!"

Kakuzu's eyes flashed coldly at his partner.

"You really want to know how my day went." Everyone watched as Kakuzu grabbed a hold of something with both hands from behind him where no one else could see. Itachi held his calm demeanor even as Kakuzu held the limp body of a Sand shinobi over his shoulders. Cracks ran through his cheeks, crumpling softly into grains of sand dripping to the ground. "Well here it is…" He announced, holding the body over his head like a human trophy. "It weighs about forty kilograms, it's about five foot-four, and thought it could stand up to Akatsuki force!"

Everyone stared silently as the old nin plopped the body down in front of him.

Kakuzu wrapped in an invisible grin under his mask held together by laces. _"Gaara of the Desert."_

Hidan's icy pupils shook at the sight. "Sh-…Shukaku…"

While the others confirmed Gaara's identity, Tobi stood atop a hill over the horizon, staring down at Itachi with arms crossed. Something particularly curious had happened.

'_Out of character. Itachi showed signs of compassion to that Sound shinobi that he had killed…'_ A red eye peered out of the hollow of his orange, swirled mask, gazing down at his former student. _'It's highly unusual for Itachi…because the only times he ever shows compassion like that…'_ The red eye widened from inside his mask, the black tomoe of his Sharingan clearly visible. _'…is when the person that confronts him reminds him of Sasuke.'_

From below, Itachi's eyes opened, and as the older Uchiha patriarch watched with amusement, he turned his head and gave him a crimson glare, knowing full well that he was being watched by him.

'_Uh oh…caught in the act.'_ The young elder concluded with significant amusement. _'Looks like it's time to play stupid, dense, clueless good boy again.'_

He chuckled slightly to himself, and instantly disappeared into nothing in the blink of the eye.

Itachi's glare deepened, but he looked away.

While the others examined the body, Tobi reappeared out of nowhere at nobody knows when and walked up. "I'm wet, cold, and tired now…" He complained. "The world _suuuuuure_ looks different underwater!"

The others ignored him.

"Hey, who's _that?_" The swirl-masked child asked.

"Go away Tobi, we're busy." He heard Kakuzu's deep voice carry. He turned in time to see the old ninja make a shoeing gesture with his hand, waving him away.

"Hey, is that…?" As fast as a bolt, Tobi sprung from his position over to where the others were looking down at the red-haired boy. On his way over, he nearly bumped heads with Hidan, who too was trying to get a good look at the face.

"Hey! WATCH it you little prick…"

Tobi sheepishly rubbed the back of his head at his near-fatal mistake. "Heh heh…sorry about that, Hidan-san…" Then his eye lit up in the socket of his mask when he realized a fact that he apparently found interesting. "HEY! Hidan-san! That rhymes! Hidan-san. Hidan-_san_. Hidan-_san_. Hidaaaaaaan-saaaaaaaaan…"

Hidan wearily glanced back at him from over his shoulder. What a pain in the ass. Where did they even pick this kid up? Later there would be time for some in-depth complaint filing to the leader. Turning back to what he was doing, Hidan knelt over to inspect the tattoo on the jinchuuriki's forehead. It looked like the red character said…_Love??_" What a joke.

While he continued looking with the others, an orange mask slowly crept up to the side of his face. It drew closer and closer to the side, until it was only an inch away from his ear. A few seconds of waiting, and then with precise timing, quickly got one word out to him.

"…_Hidan-san."_

"I'LL SLAUGHTER YOU!!" Hidan spat in reaction, waving his scythe wildly in the air, almost lunging for him.

"Waaaaaaaahhhhh!! Sorry! Sorry! I'll stop, I'll stop!" Tobi screamed hysterically while he sped away from him at top speed. A big dust cloud trailed in his wake, as he again appeared, this time behind Zetsu.

"Well, yello' there, Zetsu-san!" He shouted, holding up a black gloved hand in greeting.

The plant creature stared ahead quietly. Tobi decided that if he wasn't going to speak, then he might as well add on to the conversation himself. "Is…is Hidan-san angry at me?"

Zetsu's eyes shifted to look at him from the side.

"Hey, Zetsu, do you have the Akatsuki Handbook with you, by any chance?"

His colleague stared at him as if he just fell from the stars.

"…Handbook?"

"Ah, wait. Maybe…let me check here…" Tobi began shuffling around in his own pockets, and then moved onto his jacket. Finally, he announced, "Aha! Here! It was with me this whole time! I must've taken it from you by accident! Sorry, Zetsu-san."

He pulled out a small black book with a red cloud on the cover and the name 'Akatsuki' in bold red japanese characters. It wasn't quite atlas sized; you could easily hold it with one hand.

"…Tobi, we were never given any handbook…"

"I just hope I didn't get it all wet when I fell into that pond!" Cracking it open to inspect the pages inside, he snapped his head to look back up to the taller, rather confused shinobi staring down at him with two different eyes.

"Sweet. Looks like it didn't get that wet after all. That's some quality parchment. Of course the paper I got was produced by Konan-chan, so I guess I would expect…" His eye again lit up in a sparkle. "AAHH! I found another one! Konan-_chan!!_ I am on a ROLL today!!" He shouted in self pride as he threw his leg up into the air to exercise his happiness.

"Clever. Now what's this about a handbook of the organization…?" He asked. He had to admit, he found it curious. Since he was so very dedicated to Akatsuki for taking him in decades ago, he wanted to know absolutely everything that he could about what was going on in it. Charities, special meetings, funding plans, directories, any helpful information in general, those sorts of things. Zetsu could never get enough to learn.

"Here! Look!" Tobi held the open book up to Zetsu's face, closer than he would ever prefer. Zetsu instinctively snapped his head back and reverted back his defensive mode, crunching his jaws closer together to get the right amount of protection from the suddenness of a possible attack. His natural reflex.

A red eye glowed like laser sighting out from the small gap that he made to peek through, showing that he was not happy.

"**Tobi,"** A low tone spoke out harshly and made the shorter shinobi holding the book take a nervous step back. **"You never **_**ever**_** come directly at my head like that again, you hear?"**

The poor shinobi felt his legs shake wildly. How scary he was. He was one of the types of people that you don't walk behind, or make any sudden movements directly in his face. He hated that.

Struggling to breathe under sheer anxiety, he could only respond, "Y-yes…Zet…sem-pai…" He instantly dropped to the ground in crouching position, throwing both of his hands over his head to protect himself. Shivering profusely, he waited for a moment, fearing for his own well-being. Soon, he felt the book that he was holding tightly close to himself to protect his head gently being pulled away. He dared himself to peek up to see Zetsu calmly flipping through the pages of the handbook that he was trying to introduce him to.

"Information is displayed here…" He gazed disapprovingly down at Tobi from his huddled position. "…Information that we already know."

Tobi felt his heart sink. Zetsu was clearly disappointed.

"I…um…sorry…Zetsu…" He squeezed out before walking away with his tail between his legs.

Zetsu turned back to the book and looked through the index.

'_Let's see…Part One: Members – both active and deceased, organized in the order in which they joined…_' He surveyed the portraits and descriptions, bios and details of each active member. First, he looked over the black and white pictures, flipping a page occasionally as every member would take up about half a page. He saw Pein at the top, of course, followed by Kakuzu, Konan, himself, Orochimaru…

The plant-nin squinted in on the traitor's portrait to find that a mustache, a pointed beard, and oversized glasses had been scratched on his face with black marker. Not even bothering to deduce who would do that, he continued to read on.

…Sasori inside of Hiruko, glaring at whoever looks at his portrait, Kisame, Itachi (never did learn to smile), Deidara, sticking his tongue out while holding up two open palms crossing over each other, sticking _their_ tongues out in his signature pose, and finally Hidan, pulling one of his eyes down with a single finger and sticking his tongue out in a corny facial taunt.

The descriptions and backgrounds of each member were perfect. The book was practically a portable Akatsuki Wiki. They had previous villages, affiliations, blood types, ring positions, abilities and jutsu listed at the side, most everything possible. The only person who wasn't inside the book was Tobi. Probably because he wasn't a member.

It also had brief summaries and the occasional picture of past members and subordinates, most of which were killed out of anger by Kakuzu.

'_Part Two: Akatsuki Dreams and Goals.'_

Basically it was a few pages long synopsis of why Akatsuki exists, what its purpose in existence is to serve, and describing vividly how not everyone else will see eye-to-eye with its methods. It explains how the world is always engulfed in total war, the reasons being, and the solution that Pein already has planned to correct everything. Funding, harnessing the Tailed Demons, working to use them to benefit the last line of powerful shinobi, and ultimately exist as the world's primary power.

Never again would there be another war.

'_Part Three: Requirements.'_

You had to be entirely unique and creative in the way that you fight and kill. You had to be independent, never to have any close connections with anyone else from your village. You would have to become a rouge-nin, to leave your village. You would become a criminal of the country, so expect a hard life, etc. etc…

'_Part Four: The Tailed Beasts.'_

As the caption suggests, the names of all Tailed Demons were listed from least number of tails to greatest number of tails; 1 – 9. A picture in color of each monster sat at the side of the descriptions, as well as the name and cited source of the photographer that took the picture of the specific monster listed in smaller font.

The descriptions included the names of the demon container, pictures, and abilities. How Tobi managed to acquire details documented like this was far beyond what Zetsu could see.

'_Part Five: Miscellaneous Targets and Bounties.'_

All of the people that Kakuzu and Hidan had ever captured, and all of the oppressing towns that the organization had laid waste to. There was an incredible number of bounties, so there were only small pictures of each bounty listed in the bingo book. Some of them were marked out in X's with red marker, indicating that they had already been neutralized. Some of the pictures were still untouched. Among them, Asuma Sarutobi and Chiriku, two of the Twelve Guardian Ninja. They carry hefty bounties for the black market, some underground organization. Thirty million ryo for Chiriku's head, Asuma, a striking thirty-five million.

'_Part Six: Credits and Sources Cited. Tobi is and always will be a good boy.'_

…Well all right then.

Zetsu closed the book shut with a single hand.

'_Well we didn't necessarily learn anything of particular interest, but Tobi is quite the creative child, isn't he?'_

'_**The consequences of what would happen if the enemy found this book would be immeasurable.'**_

'_That isn't what I asked you. Nevertheless, we'll be keeping this book close to us.'_ As if to emphasize his point to his other half, Zetsu slipped to travel-sized booklet into his inner coat pocket. _'Still, maybe Tobi isn't the philistine that everyone thinks he is…'_

Turning away from his thoughts, everyone looked up to the starry sky to watch a titanic black shadow sail towards their standing position. Everyone kept silent as a white clay bird descended near the land. It kept flapping only a few meters from the ground, before abruptly landing and getting into perched position.

Deidara and Sasori both poked their heads out from over the great head of the bird, staring down at the others. Deidara jumped a bit higher up and landed on a single foot atop his creation's head, crossing his arms, and smirking down.

"Heh heh. Is that really the One-Tailed Raccoon?"

Kakuzu, Itachi, and Hidan stared silently up at the terrorist.

"…See for yourself." Zetsu said, taking the booklet out and tossing it up to him. Deidara effortlessly caught it and began actively flipping. His indigo eye sparked with interest down at the pages.

"AAAAHHHH DEIDARA-SAAAAAAAN!!"

Before Deidara could even raise his eyes from the booklet, Tobi jumped in on him to give him a big, smothering hug. For a second, he succeeded. Alas, his short victory quickly ensued in agonizing pain as his feminine male colleague delivered a powerful kick to his concealed face, sending him plummeting straight back to the exact spot that he had jumped from, ten feet below, immersing him in a gigantic dust cloud on impact.

While Tobi struggled to pull his face out of the imprint that it made in the ground, Deidara resumed his exploration of the booklet.

"Well what do you know, hm?" He turned his head to smirk over at Sasori. "I was unaware that Akatsuki had a handbook."

"It's probably unofficial." Sasori replied, sitting on the outspread wing of the bird, with his arms and legs crossed. "Check the copyright."

His partner actively searched the booklet, but he had found nothing. With closed eyes and a silent shake from his head, Deidara continued his business with the book, looking up Part Four, Section One: _Shukaku._

"…Sure enough. Gaara of the Desert." Deidara instantly pouted. "That was _my_ Tailed Beast! Who captured it?"

"That would be _me_." Kakuzu proclaimed, stepping up to them.

While Deidara was busy grimacing at the older ninja, someone else took the time to ask, "Hey, Deidara, toss me the booklet, I want to see it."

The book flew in and smacked the red-haired half-human right in the head. Without bothering to recoil, Sasori caught where the book was headed after bouncing off, and creaked his head back into normal position. "…Toss me the booklet _gently._" He clarified with annoyance before he flipped open the black book.

After a moment of browsing the Tailed Beast Sections, he looked up from the book with an unreadable face, though he did seem like he had a question.

"The book is quite accurate, but I think you're missing a Tailed Beast." He said, tossing the book back to Tobi. The boy struggled with catching the book, making it jump out of his hands a few times before maintaining a solid grasp.

"Whaddaya mean, Sasori-senpai? There're only nine!" Tobi declared, holding up nine digits.

Sasori stared down at him with calm eyes. "Well isn't one of the demon containers an annoying red-haired girl, you know, about your height?" He asked through the neckband of his uniform.

Everyone stared at Sasori with different expressions. Some impassive, some not.

Sasori's face slightly tightened into a stern glare. Why was everyone looking at him like he didn't know what he was talking about? He had _seen_ it. One of the Tailed Beasts is a girl serving Orochimaru as a ninja of the Sound.

He was about to speak out again, but Zetsu beat him to it.

"Let's discuss it when we contact Leader."

Everyone else looked at him.

"You're contacting him? _Now?_ While we're on the brink of failure? Not so smart for us, Zetsu."

The double-sided man gave him an indifferent look. "I'll tell you what I told everyone else." **"I don't **_**care**_** what happens to any of you. As long as our lives aren't on the line…it's not like Akatsuki has any use for failures."** "You place your pride and your own affections above your duty as Akatsuki Jisou. It's not like it's something we can help. We are not here to stick our neck out for anyone else. I used to, so I know what consequences are involved with the act of doing so."

"You have the wrong idea." Sasori plainly spoke, not budging from his demeanor.

"**ENOUGH!! We saw you! We saw everything. As was said before**,** wait. For. Leader."**

While Zetsu turned around, Sasori did a 360 flip off from the bird and landed gracefully on his feet, leaving a relatively confused partner scratching his long blond hair, still atop the head of the vessel.

"Haaaah, Sasori no Danna, what's he talking about?" He asked calmly, more out of humiliation than concern.

"Nothing, Deidara. Zetsu's just mad because he doesn't have a neck to stick out."

You could comically hear the faint sound of glass shattering.

Before anyone else could react to the statement, Zetsu spun around, _both _of his eyes now red with murder. The trap around his shoulders snapped wide open into a completely horizontal, outspread line.

"**Mokuton: Jubaku Eisō (Wood Release: Binding Nest)!"**

Both sides of the jaw instantly snapped shut over his head, and gigantic roots traced underground from his concealed body up to the puppet master. Sasori didn't bother moving, just grinned and bore it. A gigantic tree sprouted out of the ground; crunching loudly as different sections of it came all around him, and the wood closed around his body, placing him in a restrained position.

Deidara stared down at his partner's current predicament. "Sasori no Danna, are you crazy? Pissing off a higher rank than you?"

The puppet master calmly turned his head from the tree twisted with gnarled roots around his body to regard him with an impassive stare.

"Woo-hoo! Get him Zetsu!" Hidan screamed fanatically, throwing his fist into the air. He was absolutely bloodthirsty for a good fight. What better fight than between two of Akatsuki's most powerful?

Zetsu sprang open again and used another passive technique. _Nan no Kaizō._ Orochimaru isn't the only one who can dislocate his joints and control outstretched parts of the body using chakra.

Zetsu's head sprang forward at Sasori with his neck stretching to an unnatural proportion, coming out from his fly-trap body. To most, it would look like the long tongue of some carnivorous plant shooting out from between the jaws to seek out its prey. For Zetsu, this point of view actually wasn't far from the truth.

His head stopped inches away from Sasori's face, gritting its sharp teeth furiously. He looked absolutely monstrous with that factor combined with his almost blinding red lights as eyes.

"**Does this really look like a neck that won't stretch??!! YOU BASTAAARD!!"** Zetsu's voice was hysterical with rage.

Sasori didn't show any hint of emotion in his face at all, just looked his colleague straight in the eyes. That, he knew, was how a gentleman would handle a situation like this.

They gazed at each other for another half minute.

"…You can't kill me…" Sasori said. "…You can't kill me…because I'm not edible to you. I'm not made of meat, you remember."

"**You don't have to be edible to break beyond all repairs."** Zetsu replied in a low growl.

"That's enough, you two." They both turned their heads to look at Itachi, standing away from a row made up of Kisame, Hidan, and Kakuzu.

Tobi was frantically turning his head, caught right in between the beginning of a fight and the others.

"Don't be acting like a couple of children, now." Kisame added on. "This organization is 'adults reserved only'."

Deidara's eyes lit up at that statement, and he turned to face down at Tobi, taking out a mold of clay and instantly turning it into a small bird. "You hear that, _kid?_ Looks like you're out of luck." The bird took flight from his hand and kept itself suspended above it on a pair of wings.

Tobi, with his hands behind his back, instinctively stepped behind Kisame.

"Aww why did you have to bust up the fight? I really wanted to see who'd end up killing who." Hidan complained.

"Shut up, Hidan." His partner replied, indifferently.

Zetsu's head kept glaring at Sasori from an outstretched neck.

Sasori kept up his stare as well and finally answered, "If you hate it when people comment on your unusual state, please don't make comments that are highly untrue."

"**Well if that's the case, then how come you didn't finish the girl as was expected of you?"**

"Why didn't _you?_" Sasori asked softly in response.

Zetsu's glare softened slightly. That was a surprising question.

"…Because you believe that she is…a jinchuuriki?" Zetsu asked sternly, changing voice tones.

Sasori only nodded. It was about time that he had fully grasped the concept. All it took were a few…persuasive words.

"That is what I believe. I'm going after her…_and_ Orochimaru, but before I do, I _need_ Leader's approval."

The plant-like man looked away while dangling on his neck for a brief moment, and then turned back to give Sasori one last stern glance. His neck began reverted back to normal length, taking his head further away.

The restraining barrier of wood around Sasori began to crumble. He smirked.

Soon, Zetsu had slipped back into his body and turned to the other silent on-lookers.

"The seal positions." **"Now."** He was still clearly peeved about the episode between Sasori and himself.

Itachi closed his eyes. Well finally, the annoyance was over. This was what happened when too many members gathered together. The others were probably thinking the exact same thing.

Everyone walked over, following the spy.

Zetsu stepped into an area over the grass with plenty of space, recognizing his part in preparing the seals for the projection jutsu. Pein _did_ say not to wait too long to contact him.

He performed a quick round of handsigns in the center, where the leader was supposed to appear from.

Everyone got into their assigned positions, according to their own ring positions. When everything was in order, everyone did their following handsigns.

"Gyoku." Sasori spoke, using the 'orb' handsign.

"San." Hidan spoke, using the 'three' handsign.

"Hoku." Kakuzu spoke, using the 'north' handsign.

"Nan." Kisame spoke, using the 'south' handsign.

"**Gai."** Zetsu spoke in his darker state of mind, using the 'boar' handsign.

"Shu." Itachi spoke, using the 'vermillion' handsign.

"Sei, Shō." Deidara spoke using the 'blue' and 'green' handsigns.

"Ummmm…I think I'll just go stand over there!" Tobi decided before whistling away.

"Leader is gonna be _pissed!_" Exclaimed a whisper.

"Shut up and concentrate, Hidan, or you really will end up dead." A whisper responded.

Everyone kept their hands clasped together and their eyes tightly closed. One by one, all of the stars in the sky went out, creating the perfect void. Then, out of faded space, a man enveloped in darkness appeared in the center of the seal. He was holding two fingers close to his face in the form of his own handsign. Soon, two evil eyes slowly opened, each eye had multiple rings around the pupil. His expression was unreadable in the darkness as he peered out at all of the seal users.

"Report. Have you obtained the Nine-Tails as instructed?"

Everyone instantly started looking around at each other, trying to figure out which person should tell the leader that they had failed to capture the most powerful Tailed Beast, kill the genin, and had overall screwed the mission like mammals do on the Discovery Channel.

They had a silent talk with each other, while Pein waited patiently with his arms neatly folded. Finally, they 'silently' elected Hidan, who knew from heart that it was he himself they had chosen because of his immortality.

"I _knew_ it!! Just pick on the Jashinist you shitload of racist bastards!"

"Just grow some balls and tell the superior exactly what happened."

Hidan turned his outraged glare at Kakuzu. "Should I try stealing them and sewing them on my body, hah?"

"One more smart comment out of you, Hidan, and I _will_ kill you."

"OOOOH like you could pull it _off_, Kakuzu! Nevermind, since no one else here is man enough to tell the leader how it went, I guess I will. Ahem!"

"_Well_, Hidan?" Pein inquired. "I'm waiting."

The Jashinist straightened himself up and ran a hand through his silverish combed hair.

"I confess." He started raising his arms higher. Everyone turned their heads to look at the handsome cultivist, eager to see how this would play out with Pein. "There was absolutely, positively no way in any way, shape, or form that Akatsuki did indeed become responsible for casting blame for the annoyingly disgusting fact that we might have possibly not have been absolutely a hundred percent certain that the Hidden Leaf Village's Bijuu may indeed be returning if not for the fact that certain protocol got in the way and helped us not impossibly succeed in obtaining the Nine-Tailed Fox."

Pein put his finger to his chin, nodding his head to Hidan.

"But that's not the critical part." Hidan explained, holding his index finger to the Leader of Akatsuki. "See, the really, really critical point is in whether or not we somehow possibly, indubitably may have succeeded in obtaining the Fox based on the undisputed fact that his village kinda', sorta', more or less didn't particularly feel that letting the demon container leave by himself would not-so-possibly be in fact the best available idea for the need of bringing Sasuke Uchiha back."

Kisame tried to speak out. "Um, Hidan, I really think you should…"

"See, basic protocol calls for sacrifice, but the trouble this time is that the sacrifices didn't necessarily want to be sacrificed, therefore, they could possibly not have been willing to not be alive…if that makes sense."

The leader calmly gave another silent nod.

"Therefore, I think everyone here, _right _here, _right_ now in this very field…especially _that _guy right over there…"

Itachi motioned questionably to himself.

"Yes, you, Itachi, believe that according to certain guidelines passed down from generation to generation be deemed unfair to be accused in the act of only attempting to fulfill their role in duty, should only be punished even more harshly for quite possibly having necessarily not completed every single task handed to them." Hidan took a deep, exasperated breath.

"And _that_…is exactly what happened."

He finished his explanation with a white, flashy smile.

If there had been a more lively audience, there would have been guaranteed applause.

Pein stood still staring at him for a good long time; his finger still pressed against his chin, and would sometimes gradually move from his chin to his lip. He blinked once at him, and then once to everyone else with a turned head. They all blinked back.

"Hmmm…so you're saying that you all failed to capture the Nine-Tailed Fox…and not only that, but all of the objective targets that you have been assigned to dispatch have escaped, as well."

Hidan's eyes comically shot into dinner plates. This could _not_ be happening.

'_He saw through…'_

"This is most unfortunate for all of you."

Everyone was about to take a simultaneous step out of their seal markers, but a gigantic red wave swept out of thin air, and cut right through Hidan in a flash, generating the sound of a blade. Everyone froze, and then they watched as Hidan's head slid off of his shoulders.

"Aw give me a _fucking_ break!" The head shouted as it rolled across the ground.

"What have all of you done? Not only was this operation supposed to be carried out in absolute secrecy, but now all of the people assigned to this one mission will report what they have seen to the higher-ups, and in turn, the higher-ups will figure us out. When that happens, the response to our intervention will be met with even more retribution than the first time Akatsuki came to Konoha!"

"Sir, calm down."

"Why? What in this dismal, damning point of time lets you get _close_ to even _suggesting_ the _idea_ that now is the time to relax??"

Kakuzu's glare deepened. "Because I have an alternate prize for Akatsuki." Pein watched Kakuzu grab Gaara, still unconscious, by the scruff of his shirt and hold him toward the leader. "The One-Tailed Raccoon." Gaara's head bobbed under Kakuzu's hold.

Pein's eyes narrowed. "I suppose…you're not total disappointments after all…" He concluded with folded arms. "Keep him restrained under Level 4 genjutsu."

"Hey, no problem. I gave him a thorough thrashing – he'll be out until spring."

"There will be no more risk-taking. You do what is required of you."

"Yessir."

"Hey, Leader-sama, where's Konan, un?" Deidara asked. He hadn't seen her in he didn't even know how long.

"She's busy shopping for towels. …Does it matter to you?"

"Well depending on how many rings are active during the extraction of the One-Tailed Beast's chakra, we could obtain only a little bit of its power or the amount of power put into terms with its entire _body mass_, right?"

"I know. Konan is safe with me. We are ready for whenever Akatsuki gathers for an extraction ritual."

"I was hoping to speak with you about something." Sasori spoke up.

Pein looked him over.

"…Where's Hiruko?"

Sasori winced at the question. He struggled under his breath not to explode at the constant reminders he was getting that he no longer has a body to shield himself. _"LET me_ answer that by asking you this…"

Pein's eyes narrowed slightly.

"Have you ever thought about the possibility that Orochimaru might have kept a jinchuuriki for himself?"

His superior's expression did not change visibly in the dark.

"Alright, Sasori, you have my undivided attention."

A lengthy grin slowly wrapped around the human puppet's face.

"…I had a feeling…you would say that."

"All the Tailed Beasts are listed here, Leader-samaaaaaa!" Tobi squealed unnecessarily, rushing in between the two to show him his Akatsuki Handbook.

Pein stared at the young-looking masked boy.

"…We have a handbook…?"


	11. Compromises

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

**Chapter 9: Compromises**

"Let me see this." The leader's swirling eyes set themselves on the booklet that Tobi held up.

Tobi seemed overly anxious to answer his request. Scampering wildly and trailing dust along the short distance between Sasori and Pein, Tobi's timing was very much off, and in an attempt to hit the breaks at the speed he was going, he flew forward, right through the superior's holographic figure.

Pein slowly turned his position to stare at the wrong end of the masked kid sticking halfway out of the ground behind him.

"Over here. Not over there." The dark projection stated indifferently through a coarse voice guided by static sounds.

"J-j-j-ju-just a second!" He squealed in response, desperately trying not to keep everyone else waiting. Flipping up from the ground as if gravity meant nothing to him, he sped again over to where Pein stood waiting with his arms crossed.

Tobi stopped directly in front of him, and bobbed his head down holding the booklet out towards him in a goofy fashion, like he was presenting a gift to God first-hand, even though, of course, this is what Pein viewed himself as. He was one of those self-absorbed types.

Before the leader could respond, Tobi attempted to drop the tiny black book into his hands. It fell right through them, buzzing violently as it left his tall form and hit the ground.

"Tobi, I can't hold it myself, you need to hold it up to me." He explained wearily. He wove both of his arms back and forth over his head, making the buzzing noise of static desperately trying to follow them, to exercise his point further.

"Ah! I! Um! Uh! …My bad!" He squealed again, dropping down for the book that he half-wittedly dropped.

He scrambled back up, holding up open pages to Pein's unique eyes, peering at the characters.

"Did I really…?"

"But-but Leader-sama, don't you remember??" Tobi quickly and frantically cut him off before he could finish. Instantly, he leaned his face in close enough for Pein to see the red Sharingan of his eye through the socket of his mask. _"You put it together while Akatsuki was still being developed."_ An incredibly different voice took over, making it seem as if the entire world had darkened around them. It was not Tobi's voice.

Pein instantly stiffened his stance. He recognized that voice. He knew that voice. Why in the _hell_ was he using that voice?

"Umm…that is correct." He concluded quickly, earning a closed eye from his shorter colleague. While everyone else wearing a black coat with red clouds over it tilted their heads, the holographic projection of their superior slid up beside 'Tobi' and leaned his head in close to his.

"No need to kill me over it…"

"Ahh, well, a little improvisation is a remedy for everything!" He responded in the goofy voice that he became accustomed to using before.

Pein growled. To him, that was as good as teasing him. Who would get so riled up over keeping 'Tobi' in good graces? Surely not a god. But that voice, that commanding voice that he used to carry out orders to his clan's underlings eighty years ago was terrifying. Clinging to that fact, taking orders from him now was just as simple as it would have been back then.

Turning back to Sasori, waiting most impatiently for things to get back on topic, he quickly and easily recited the different Tailed Beasts without the use of the manual that Tobi was holding. Recognizing that he was preparing to do so, Tobi closed the book with one hand, and slipped it into his pocket.

"Obviously it couldn't be Shukaku…or Kyuubi. The Two-Tailed Cat is a demon housed in a woman named Yugito Nii, who resides in Kumogakure, safe inside the Hidden Village's walls along with the Eight-Tailed Beast and his vessel, Kirābī. Obviously, neither could be who you are looking for, because if they had made movements out of the Village Hidden in the Clouds, Zetsu would have been the first to let us know it. They have no relation to Orochimaru or his Hidden Sound Village."

"The jinchuuriki that I'm going after is a red-haired girl that uses powerful genjutsu…through a flute." Sasori explained to him, holding his hands up next to his head as if he were playing the instrument that he was speaking of. "I'd place her as a…high chunin. She isn't quite jounin capable, but that…_whatever_ that thing was inside of her makes everything different."

"Did you see her transform?"

Sasori lowered his arms and placed them back to his sides before bowing his head. Recalling that point almost made him smile. It was _almost_ terrifying. "Yes." He answered.

"Is that the reason you haven't captured her now?"

Sasori stared at the ground to the side of himself before turning back and answering. "The reason I haven't captured her now is because a certain pale man intervened. I don't think I need to go into any riddles."

His superior looked him straight in the eyes. Neither of them would blink.

"Orochimaru."

"Yeah. And two of his lackeys. Both jounin. I could tell."

Pein uncrossed his arms and took steps forward, the sickly colors of faint light around his body rippled continuously. Holding his hand up, he asked, "So what was the problem? Most of us here should think that you would be well above Orochimaru given all of the time you had away from him to perfect your own techniques. He spends his days locked behind a metal door sitting in the dark; you spend your days observing the world."

Deidara snorted back from his seal position from somewhere in the background. "…Sitting in a corpse." He muttered, as if finishing the leader's statement, being absolutely sure for his life to keep his voice just quite enough from his senior.

Still, one should appreciate the irony. Between the two, Sasori and Orochimaru, there didn't seem to be a whole lot of difference. Deidara had never personally met the Snake Sannin – only heard stories. Some of them seemed so unreal to the young artist that it was often difficult to distinguish fact from fantasy. Or stupid rumors. Point was Orochimaru didn't seem like the kind of guy who skips out into a wide-open field and picks flowers. At least not during the day.

Sasori hung his head slightly down and grinned at the leader's statement. It was humbling, but Orochimaru was _his_ senior. His selfish goal to master all of the jutsu in the world as he self-righteously claimed during their time together hadn't yet been accomplished, but he was still very powerful. Not easy to kill. Not quite at Itachi's league, but still a threat on his own.

"…As much as I wouldn't mind believing that for myself…"

He lifted his head back up to stare him right in the eyes.

"…No. …I'm not."

Deidara grinned silently to himself in amusement while he held his handsign and had his eyes closed in concentration. They had stumbled a slight step back in their career goals, and yet he smiled. Only something as great as Sasori admitting something shameful like that would give the result.

His leader gazed at the red-haired artificial youth for several seconds more before turning around and walking back towards the center of the seals again.

"Good call. Here in this organization, being too proud and too confident in your own ability means that you'll die the soonest. Maybe others here should heed this advice as well." His eyes instantly shot to the side, setting the spotlight on someone else.

Everyone else stood facing towards the two with their handsigns held up, but turned their heads to look at Hidan's decapitated body still lying on the ground outside of his seal marker except for his feet, giving the impression that he had fallen forward out of it. A puddle of red was spilt out from where his head would be. It was probably somewhere near, like in the shrubs.

"Hey!! Has anyone here forgotten that I CAN'T DIE??!!" An irritated voice shouted from a ways away.

It was then that everybody knew. His head was in the shrubs.

The whole area around them had already turned into the outpost of some desert of which anyone would mistake was nearby. Where there had been tall grass sticking out of the ground now covered by light brown grains of sand, they looked like shrubberies. Might as well call them shrubberies. Kakuzu can't simply 'negotiate' with anyone without giving an unnatural alteration to the landscape.

"There's still a flaw."

The silhouette moving by itself looked back over at Sasori.

"I still need to find out what kind of Bijuu we're looking at here." He finished.

Pein looked at him. Studying his face for emotion, he responded, "We have an idea of what the others are. Based on your description, the girl couldn't be one of the jinchuuriki."

A wave of discouragement swept over the human puppet. He really thought that he was onto something. Since he didn't even remember if he was _assigned_ a jinchuuriki, if he had the luck to find one, he may as well have it assigned firsthand. If hand-gagging a little foul-mouthed brat was all that it took for him to reach enlightenment in this organization, then it was well worth it. But that dream appeared to now be diminishing. That cuts the pleasure of infiltrating Otogakure in half.

"…Unless…"

Sasori's head shot up. For the first time since he had fought that girl, he was excited. That was two times this week, and within a period of just a few hours. A new record for him. Delighted by the thought that there was an 'unless' in the matter that he swayed over, he leaned in a bit closer.

"Unless what? Tell me."

His superior took quick note of his obvious interest in fulfilling his goal. In a business, an employer looks for something like that in all of his employees. If nobody was interested in taking on tasks, then nothing would get done. And that didn't fly very well with Pein.

Deciding that he had held Sasori under anxiety for long enough, he continued with an amused smirk invisible thanks to the jutsu.

"…Unless…perhaps you haven't noticed any…_specific_ features on her while she transformed…did any tails grow on her?"

Sasori answered him with a singular nod.

"How many?"

"Before Orochimaru appeared and suppressed her chakra," Sasori held up three digits, "I saw three tails. But it looked to me like she might have sprouted more. …And there was this ominous chakra surrounding her, like something out of a nightmare."

They both turned their heads to see the other listeners hidden in the night leaning in to the side to pass whispers to each other while holding their positions. The two-group pairs that were assigned as partners hardly interacted with the others, although the gossip and controversy occasionally left the pairs and spread to the others.

Pein turned back for a moment and continued.

"Then it wasn't the Three-Tailed Turtle."

"Well?"

"What do you want me to say? The only other kunoichi that has a Bijuu besides Yugito Nii had seven tails, and she's dead."

Sasori turned away to gaze to the side, putting his index finger and thumb on his chin in a thinking pose. If the only two kunoichi are out of the question, then what in the hell did he just fight? In total there were of course nine demons, but maybe one may have been hiding in such secret that even their organization hadn't pinned it. If that were the case…

"Excuse me for thinking this, but…" Sasori raised his head. "What would happen…if there were actual _ten_ Bijuu? _Ten_ vessels?"

Most everyone else chuckled silently in the background at the sudden, preposterous notion. Since ancient times, the belief that there were nine great demons roaming the earth had been embraced by humanity, and here this puppeteer places something as impractical as a tenth?

His superior looked at him with a fierce eye. "…_What?_" He sneered from under his breath.

"I realize that what I propose sounds silly and unreasonable, but in my years of hunting ninja, I haven't seen anything quite like her. If anything, especially a demon, were to hide in the world since time immemorial, then it would be something stronger and smarter than the Nine-Tailed Fox – more careful not to be found, and spending more of its time observing the mistakes that the other Tailed Beasts have made. Look, Zetsu would show you. You recorded it, right Zetsu?" He asked, finding himself getting increasingly desperate with trying to prove to Pein that the girl was in fact a jinchuuriki.

Pein cut him off from getting his answer from the taller Grass nin.

"Even if you believe yourself, you still find that it's just another dead end. One of those loopholes. After the hundredth passing through, you get tired."

"Actually, Leader-sama," Someone started from behind the two. They quickly turned to face a smirking Deidara. "I rather enjoy the theory that my partner is proposing. If I capture this 'demon girl' that even Sasori no Danna could not, then that shall prove for certain that my artistic capabilities are the only true answer. Beauty will, after all, outdo a stale eternity."

Sasori hung his head in complete annoyance. For a second there, he actually thought that his younger partner was vouching for him. What a mistake.

"Deidara, don't get too ahead of yourself just for me…" He muttered.

"No, _we_ will take her." Kakuzu insisted. "Time is money, and money is not something that should be wasted."

Deidara's jaw dropped. "You already took _mine_, you prick, un!"

"I am the designated Treasurer of Akatsuki. I have been turning criminals and bounties in for funding to this organization before you were growing inside of your mother. I really think you should leave this to my partner and me."

"No, leave this to _my_ partner and me – the _real_ professionals. Profession extends to greater heights than simple mathematics in counting and collecting yen." Kisame protested.

"Ahahahaha!! You got screwed on that one, Kakuzu!" The shrubs shouted up to the older nin. He angrily snapped his head down at it and his eyes gleamed with intense heat.

"Would you like to spend the rest of your immortal life with a gigantic tree growing out of your skull, Hidan?" He sneered, threatening to leave his partner's head were it laid.

There was a loud growl coming up from the sandy bush that used to be ferns. Nevertheless, the silver-haired cultivist was quick to hush up. As much as they hated each other, Kakuzu hated him even more.

Recognizing the appeasing absence of shit coming out of his partner's mouth, he turned back to rejoin the discussion.

"All of you stay out of this. Orochimaru was _my_ partner!" Sasori clarified sternly.

Pein could feel his patience dwindle. Holding a hand to his face, he actively rubbed both of his eyes wearily. They were fighting. They were fighting over a _girl._ They have a real taste for gold. Whatever happened to the Nine-Tailed Fox that they were just discussing the weeks before?

"Maybe I could tell her jokes!" Tobi volunteered, prancing up and down like a deer that didn't know how to move forward. It slowly screeched to a halt at the enter field staring at him. "To, um…distract her, of course…while Deidara-sempai captures her!"

"This is ridiculous!" Pein shouted in fumes. "We'll have no more of this petty dribble on the unfounded possibility of a tenth Bijuu! Now before we continue, is there any other _mythical_ creature that our chakra-weaving friend here would like to recommend? How about it, Sasori?" He nearly hissed.

The human-puppet looked at him with rough eyes. Difficulty-being time. "No sir, nothing."

"What? Come now. …How about the Sixty-Tailed Beaver?"

Sasori clenched his teeth together. "…No sir, but if I may be so bold, when you said 'mythical' creatures, I would just like to point out that Nine-Tailed Foxes don't necessarily ravage the countryside with their exuberant population."

"Nor do the Sixty-Tailed Beavers."

Sasori hung his head and held his hand up to it. "Ohhh…Christ." He mumbled.

"Jashin!" Hidan shouted up at him from his floral resting spot, intending on correcting him.

"Is a Canaanite religion, Hidan!!" Sasori slammed back at him in response.

"NoOoOoOoOo…!" His voice responded in almost a muffle.

"I've had enough of this." Sasori proclaimed to Pein. "Obviously I can't convince you to see things in my direction. Perhaps the recording that Zetsu has will change your mind. But for now, I'm gone."

He turned away from his superior and began walking his own bath towards Otogakure with the full intent of meeting that strange girl again. Pein cringed through the projection jutsu at the sight of him leaving without permission.

"Sasori!!" He shouted with violence in his tone, demanding his attention.

Sasori stopped. Without turning around or speaking, he just stood there, waiting. Pein spent the next half minute glaring at the redhead's backside, seeing for sure that he wouldn't do anything else.

Between the tense positions in the middle of the entire organization, Pein didn't feel like getting any cold shoulders today.

"You will stay until I dismiss you from a meeting. Is that well understood?" He asked, his voice cold and reeking of bitterness.

Sasori's lazy gaze followed onward towards the north, where he knew a fresh prize was waiting in his former partner's village of Oto. He did not feel like waiting any longer, but he really didn't want to risk becoming a hated enemy of Akatsuki. Nobody really comes back after becoming something like that. In all likelihood, don't piss off someone who is renowned as a god.

Sasori turning slowly back to stare at him with unmoved eyes. "Well it looks like you've finally realized…" He said with marks of amusement.

Pein crossed his arms and lifted an eyebrow. "Care to elaborate?"

"You've realized…that Akasuna no Sasori _is_ in fact the epitome of pride."

The others looked at him with expressions that seemed to question what he was saying about himself. And he confirmed them all with a blank expression.

"But it's not, as you say, a bad thing. Sometimes the only way to get anything done around here is by _being_ proud. You should be thankful that I care so much."

"To some extent you may be correct, but not if it leads down a false path, or your own destruction."

"Destruction? I've kept this young for over twenty years. What worries you about me so?"

"I _don't_ worry about you. I don't even care if you die…"

The redhead's expression remained unmoved. He didn't care? _That's_ something new. Over past years, members and subordinates had come and gone, some a lot more quickly than others, and nobody had ever seen the mysterious leader so much as bat an eye over it. But that's something that Sasori admired about him. It's one of the reasons why he respected him, and why he accepts him as the only person that he serves under. People…they're nothing more than walking flesh. Bodies used for recycling, renewing, and improving. The wonderful philosophy that he had brought from Suna – the knowledge that humans are imperfect, and that they come with him to reach the perfection that he craves. It's just a hobby that he has, even though not everyone thinks so highly about it.

"…I don't want anything bad to happen to this organization on your account." Then Pein blinked once in surprise. It's interesting that he found he was not giving this lecture to Tobi or Hidan, both of whom constantly required it. Being rash or overactive will see Akatsuki swept off of the world forever.

Sasori closed his eyes and nodded.

"Agreed…I also have a spy already up there working as one of Orochimaru's underlings…so if you'll pardon me…" He purposely dragged on, gesturing towards his intended destination with his arm. He was anticipating an answer.

His superior thought for a moment. Every now and then he would turn his head to glance at Kisame grinning with killer intent holding that monstrous sword over his shoulder, or Kakuzu outside of his seal position, busy sewing his partner's head back in place. He could see Kakuzu cringing through the open part of his mask, no doubt feeling like this was the fifth time this week that he had to put Hidan's cap back on.

Finally, he turned back to Sasori, who had his arms crossed, and an indifferent expression, although he really was trying with all of his might not to make an outburst and perhaps a mad dash for the other direction.

"If you really think your goal is there, then just remember that Orochimaru owns that place. You aren't walking into any low-budget town short on security. You can't take anyone else with you, or you're guaranteed to raise suspicion. Now get the hell out of here, before I decide do unto you what I just got finished doing unto him." He pointed in Hidan's direction, whose head was still half detached from his shoulders. The other half was creeping with laces that Kakuzu produced. They slithered through and through again in his esophagus like a living worm, mending the skin together.

Hidan's slender eyebrows furrowed as he winced in pain. "Ow, ow! Careful, dammit!" He shouted at his partner, who was kneeling over him for the treatment of his wound. A deadpanned gaze was his answer. "I'm not the only one who failed this fucking mission, so why's it that I'm the only one that gets the blade??" He spat out his anger again.

"Right then. I'll go. See you all in a few." Sasori didn't give a specific unit for how long he would be gone. Could be days, weeks, or months. First he needed to earn the snake's trust somehow. He would work out the kinks on the way there.

While he turned around to walk down the hill padded with sand to pay Orochimaru and his pet a little visit, Pein turned back to the two other occupied shinobi. He stared at them for a long time. He stared, and he stared, and he stared. Sensing this, two heads jerked up and sweat-dropped. Kakuzu had just finished poking the tail end of his living lace through the nub of Hidan's neck by the time both of them heard this small inhaling sound.

Both of their eyes widened at the sight of Pein puffing in his chest, inhaling air through his nostrils for an incredibly long period of time. Something told them that old Leader-sama was about to give them both a crippling status with his voice.

When Pein finally stopped, he let out this really slow, really low voice directed at the two of them.

"YOOOUUUU TWOOOOO…WERE SUPPOSED TO BE IN KONOHAAAAAA…" Another incredibly long inhale followed up. "…IN DISGUISE…" Another extremely deep breath. "…MAKING SURE…THAT NOBODY…" The immortal duo's eyes were bugging out in fear. _"INTERFEEEEEEEEEERED!!_"

Kakuzu and Hidan were almost blown off the ground while Itachi, Kisame, and Zetsu stood calmly to the side watching. Tobi, who wasn't particularly interested in what was planned for the pair, bolted off the other direction, trailing dust.

"Peace! Uncle! _Charity!_"

"So…I have something _especially_ entertaining planned for you two." Pein's gray swirled eyes lit up in an even darker shadow of the projection cast over his upper face.

"Pein? Pein, was that you I heard shout?" Everyone's attention sprung alive at the recognition of the beautiful, feminine voice from the other side, even if the static of the jutsu did falter it a bit. Only one person in this organization was allowed to call the leader by his name.

They watched him instantly freeze up, caught off guard before quickly spinning to the side to look at an invisible person to everyone else.

"I apologize. Konan. I didn't mean to interrupt your rest."

There was a pause for a minute. Everyone stood still waiting for a response from the woman that they hardly ever talked to, even during a gathering, let alone ever actually seen in person.

"Just ease up for me okay? Take a deep breath." The soft voice buzzed through the jutsu again. It sounded tired.

Pein complied. He let his unique eyes slip closed for a moment as he took breaths not out of total anger or frustration, and resumed.

"I feel better now." He quickly stated.

"Good."

He quickly turned back and stared for a moment longer at the remaining people gawking at him. There was another awkward long pause while the members exchanged glances among each other. Honestly for Konan to speak to him like that in front of the others was nothing short of embarrassment for him.

"…I almost forgot what Konan looked like…un." Deidara squeezed out slowly with a weary glance. "I swear, she only talks to _you._"

"It's – ahem!" He cleared his throat, being careful not to stutter. Great speakers don't stutter. "It is because I am the leader. All of you must report to me, often directly."

It was Hidan's turn. "…Well what the hell was she reporting? _Towel usage…?_"

Pein snapped his head towards him. "Don't dig your grave deeper than it already is."

Kakuzu, realizing that the words were ripped from his mouth, just kept silent.

"I suppose in a way, we haven't failed this mission…not truly. Remember what we seek. What 'Akatsuki' seeks. There are too many members here to completely conceal our presence. We run these countries, the whole world, through the checkpoints that we have all across the land. In order to keep them alive and active, we must send spies in to check them constantly. If they found out about this…humiliation, then they would instantly lose all respect for Akatsuki. I am deploying Kisame to check in with all outposts that we have established and rightfully own in the east."

"Well, well, heheheh…where'll I be headed?" Kisame asked.

"Your territory is the Land of the Sea. As I recall, you were once mayor of a small town there. Why don't you pay it a visit?"

Kisame fully exposed all of his sharp teeth in a white, lengthy smile. He remembered the name. It relied on Water Country ninja for the protection of its ports. Now that he really thinks about it, it'd be interesting to go there again and check on proceedings. He had actually heard a rumor while he was in the east that its waters were being terrorized by a sea monster. "Take a vacation…? Never thought of that one, hmhm…I'm sure they'll be just as happy to see me as I'll be to see them."

"Everyone else must act quickly in getting Kyuubi out of the Hidden Leaf Village. I deploy Itachi, Kakuzu, Hidan, and Zetsu. Tobi can go too."

On cue of his name, a head randomly popped out from behind a dune of sand.

"Remember about that genjutsu." Pein reminded Kakuzu, warning him about Gaara. "Honestly that couldn't be more perfect. We'll extract the Bijuu later, when everything is _not_ at risk. Now Deidara will check in between you five and Sasori, since he has the most convenient method of transportation."

"Hai." Deidara responded, preparing to mount his giant clay bird once more.

"A second mistake won't fly by so easily. You're lucky that Konan was here to hold me back. Very lucky indeed. If you go getting yourselves too deep, don't think that I'll be sending her to come to your rescue. It is for the very best that you don't get together in extremely big groups while you're in Konoha. They already know who Itachi is."

He turned around, preparing to cancel off the jutsu, but Itachi asked him one last thing in his low monotone.

"What should we do if the Leaf's shinobi interfere with his capture again?"

Pein spared one last glance over his shoulder. He remembered Itachi and Kisame report about their last skirmish with Konoha's finest.

"…Show them a proper Akatsuki greeting."

With that, the jutsu buzzed with static and dissipated into the air. Their leader was gone, leaving behind six members wearing identical apparel standing around, smirking with cold, new-founded amusement.

Even Itachi.

* * *

She was getting close. She didn't know exactly how far, but she was getting close.

The constant jumping and sprinting from the Valley of End was enough to wear even an ANBU officer down, but she knew that she had to keep it up. Speeding past a cave that she distinctively remembered passing on the way, she dashed up to a row of tall trees. Wasting no time to focus chakra into her feet, she shot up through one tree, and out several others, breaking many of the smaller branches to get up. She was getting desperate.

She was the kind of person who wasn't quick to give up on anything that involved her loved ones. Even if that meant staring death in the face, she would do anything that it took to protect them. People would laugh at that trait since she was a woman and didn't look particularly very threatening, but she could _fight_. ANBU positions aren't given to just anyone. In Konoha, any scum on the street who sees a person, male or female, in gray armor wearing an animal-shaped mask knew when it was time to clear out. Of course it was usually too late for them to make an escape.

Yugao kept her ceremonial mask on; it served as decent protection against the jagged twigs in the trees, but it was getting increasingly hard to breathe in. She didn't want to have to take it off. Coming this far, the enemy could be anywhere, and the moment she gives them a chance to see her face could very well be something to regret later, should she even have any hope whatsoever of surviving the end of her current endeavor.

Even though she was a naturally quiet person, many thoughts ran through her head even while she made her way towards the green landscape.

Hayate…

She didn't want anything to happen to him. She wanted to be there for him. To protect him. Since Tsunade had let her know first hand that he wasn't actually killed by the Sand's shinobi, she had desperately been trying to find out who ever since then. And all sources point to Akatsuki. She knew that much, and now she only needed to figure out which member.

She felt that an answer was quickly coming to her.

She leapt off of the last tree, onto her feet again, and dashed with her arms extended to the sides. She immediately spotted a particularly peculiar area within the wide open field. From her distance it was splotched with brown, like a scab on the green grass. Taking her bets, she stopped where she was.

Briefly pulling her mask back to catch her breath and get a better look, she spotted somebody in the middle of the brown land, sitting on…something.

Realizing that there was now nowhere to hide from whoever it was, friend or foe, she took another deep breath and carefully took steps forward, hoping that her breath would catch up to her by the time she got close enough to actually see who…or _what_ she was dealing with.

* * *

"Hokage-sama. You wanted to see me?" Izumo, one of Tsunade's personal assistance asked her from the doorway, peering out from around the corner.

The Sannin turned her head away from the wide window that covered the entire back wall of her office. She had been looking down at the village for a while now, not able to do much about the battles that she knew were raging outside but send the team of elite jounin out and hope for a fulfilling resolution.

_Hope_ for it.

"I'm glad that you came, Izumo." She said to him. She then walked over to the piles of paperwork on her desktop and ran her fingernail through the neatly organized pages, every so often plucking a few selected pages out carefully without trying to make too big of a mess. She knew that the matter was urgent, but making a mess in her office would pose as a threat if she had to document things and send them out to the villages in the other countries with haste, should the Akatsuki choose to eventually attack Konoha. Even though some of the villages were enemies, or mercenaries of enemies, Konoha was still allied with a few others, including the fairly recent alliance with Suna. Those were the ones that would get the delegations.

As soon as Tsunade got the hint that Akatsuki might possibly be acting, she had already made the preparations for a political meeting, one that she had hoped would at least halt their operations for a few more years – decades if lucky. But she never would have expected the Akatsuki to act so…directly.

One of the best when it came to organizing the messenger hawks correctly had to be Izumo. He always had a strong care about his job and how it was carried out, so he was at times even more reliable than Shizune.

Spreading the delegation sheets onto the table, Tsunade swiftly took the stamp press from out of its inkwell and neatly pressed down hard near the corner of each one. She would have one delegation go out to Sunagakure, two to Kirigakure, one to Getsugakure.

Some of the other villages that weren't enemies would have been possible, but Yugakure wanted nothing to do with war, Takumi Village bears a strong grudge against the Five Great Shinobi Nations, and Hoshigakure, as well as Yukigakure are heavily secluded, and not much is known about them. Involving them with Akatsuki would have done little good anyways. Since they are lesser villages, the odds that they would gain much ground with their shinobi or politics were questionable. Best just to leave the quiet ones be.

Really there were only three reliable nations, although Kumogakure had actually crossed Tsunade's mind once or twice. But they were currently looking after two jinchuuriki, and she wasn't too sure if it was worth the risk. If Akatsuki discovered them, then that's chalking two up for the Visitor team.

She took a deep breath. This should be fine for now.

"I need you to deliver these to their assigned villages. This is classified and top priority, understand?" She asked, looking him straight in the eye.

The young man gave her a slightly worried face, but nodded to her.

"Now don't speak to anyone, don't even make eye contact with anyone on your way to the messenger hawks."

As soon as she handed him the documents, he instantly disappeared in a poof of smoke from her office, leaving her to lean back against her chair. What she would give for a drink.

Suddenly, Shizune burst in making her spring up out of her chair from her relaxing state of mind. Her assistant looked extremely happy, or relieved about something.

"Lady Tsunade! You're not gonna believe this! Akimichi Chouji and Hyuuga Neji were found around the wilderness! They're unconscious, but they're alive!"

A smile started across the Hokage's face. Thank goodness the retrieval squad wasn't completely crushed. "Is that so?"

"Yeah! The scouts say that Neji was limping back on his own for a minute, but just collapsed from exhaustion, they think."

Her superior leaned forward and clasped her hands together, her elbows leaning on the desk. "Well they have had a _pretty_ trying day."

"Uh-huh!" Shizune had to agree. Coming back from something like that was almost legendary for a group of genin.

"Also, Inuzuka Kiba was helped back to the village by that weird puppet kid, you know, the one that belongs to the Sand?" Shizune's optimistic face quickly faded. "…But they have yet to find Shikamaru…"

Tsunade closed her eyes. Then opened.

"Seems to me that they'll just have to keep looking. Any information on Naruto?"

Her assistant nodded.

"He was picked up by the jounin squad that you sent out. Actually, they should be arriving any minute now."

That was exactly what Tsunade wanted to hear. If the Akatsuki dug their way to Naruto, then they would have the most powerful monster of the nine. Not to mention she kind of looked to Naruto as a grandson, the little runt. But Tsunade had put full faith in Kakashi, and that, she agreed, was trust well spent.

Getting up from her desk littered with paperwork, she smiled at the surprisingly fortunate turns of events.

"I think I'll go to the hospital and see what I can do to help treat them. They may not be dead, but you never know what kind of infections could come from those scratches." She proclaimed sarcastically, heading towards the doorway.

Shizune laughed.

Tsunade smiled back. "Come get me if anything happens."

* * *

It was still dark.

Sasori kicked up a small remaining ligament, probably belonging to a limb of his once-fearsome Hiruko skin. What a mess that girl had made.

He was back at the area where he had first fought with her. He came back for a reason.

He found the inside of the clearing surrounded by trees, some of them still uprooted by Tayuya's chakra, probably never to stand up right again. Walking over near the craters that she had made, something familiar caught the corner of his eye.

He ambled slowly over to it and slowly bent down to examine it. He saw the remains of Hiruko's head, half buried in the ground. It was missing its eye, and much of its teeth. Cracks went up and down all over the side of its skull.

Gently, Sasori tried to pull it out with both hands, and succeeded, although the suddenness had caused the head to crumble even more. He examined it closely in his hands. The other side was almost completely gone, with all of the wood peeled away. It looked even more horrifying than it did when it was in its best shape. Even without eyes, he could still feel it glaring at him from out of the dark, ruined sockets.

'_It's gonna be an interesting Christmas this year…'_

He took it under his arm and carried it that way while he changed courses, ambling slowly towards the group of shinobi that he and Orochimaru had both left laying there. They were still there, alright. The elite group of Sound ninjas that dressed almost identical to Orochimaru, as well as the two unconscious jounin that he had told his leader about. They wore darker clothing and wraps than the four younger veterans, but they also had those strange purple knot belts that his former partner now likes to wear.

He approached the three people that he was already familiar with. They were still twisted together in a pile, quite uncomfortable. The technique that he wove onto them wasn't completely gone, but the chakra was barely visible. It had already gone through its violet period, and was now the color of the normal, light blue chakra. The static and strings looked just like the ones that came out through a puppeteer's fingertips while they controlled their puppets.

Something caught his eye, away in the distance. The moonlight reflected off of something shiny. Turning his attention on that, he walked slowly up to two thin bars of metal lying on the ground. The girl's flute.

He reached down slowly towards the pieces of the broken instrument, but something else caught his attention, so he stood back up tall again. His eyes thoroughly searched the woods around him, much darker since it was night. But he knew who it was. Of course he wouldn't shake him so easily for the time being.

"Come out, Deidara. Don't hide from your seniors." He called out, his charming voice echoing to the trees.

A distinctive laugh followed, echoing out from the trees, and very soon, a familiar blond-haired man slowly emerged from the shadows with his arms crossed, impressed that he knew it was him. Then again, that was a lousy thing to be impressed for. Since he was pretty sure Sasori was stronger than him, there should be hardly any limits to what he could do.

Deidara had his casual smirk on his face, walking out to him.

Sasori was left to guess that his bird was probably well concealed somewhere in the trees, because if he had been waiting, then there's no way he could have gotten here before he did.

"My, my…" His partner started, surveying the destruction that was once part of Konoha Forest. "Now I'm really, _really_ anxious to view that data that Zetsu has, un."

Sasori answered him with a quiet, unreadable face.

"Just came here to let you know," he continued, knowing that his partner wasn't likely to answer back. "This village is…rather more dangerous than the others for us. The second you fail, you will give me my opportunity. I look forward to seeing which of us will walk away with Orochimaru's head, and which one of us will walk away with the jinchuuriki."

"And just what makes you think I'll fail, Deidara?" Sasori asked, curious to know why his younger partner was jibbing like this.

The other man shrugged. "…Nothing, really. I just thought I'd let you know that you're not the only one playing the game, yeah. And I don't want you leaving that village with a certain special new ladyfriend, hm." He joked.

Sasori raised his eyebrows. "Do you have…any idea how old she is? Do you have…any idea how old _I_ am?" He asked, building an imaginary scale between ages for Deidara.

They looked at each other for a long time, neither one willing to blink. In this organization, and probably most villages everywhere else, blinking more frequently meant that you were the more nervous.

"While you're here, I guess I could use an escort to the village walls. Oto isn't far." A long arm reached out draped in the sleeve of his uniform. "That way." He pointed a colored fingernail between two trees.

"Let's make some…preparations first, before venturing further."

His partner watched as he quickly snatched up the two metal pieces basked in white light. Both parts of the shaft were long enough to point with. So, while holding one piece per hand, Sasori pointed half of the flute at his partner, who grimaced.

"Parts of her flute. It broke. Sad, huh?"

"Orochimaru must be slipping in his selections. He's got a lame sense of art."

Sasori set the flute down at his side and pulled a long scroll out of his back. Setting it on his other side, he spread it out, revealing the characters for something special. An outfit was already sealed inside for a disguise. He was so happy that he would finally get to use it. After constantly wearing the same thing, he had been looking for an excuse to change styles.

"Catch." He suddenly called over to the former Rock ninja.

His partner didn't know what to expect, but he instinctively held his arms out.

Sasori pulled something out from under his arm and lobbed it over to him. When it landed in Deidara's hands, the first things that he saw were the eyeless glare and a horrendous smile of ruined teeth.

"NANI!" He shouted, nearly falling on his back out of grief. "Sasori no Danna! That just isn't fair!" He complained outrageously.

"Just hold it for me. It's a head. It won't bite so long as you don't stick your fingers in its mouth."

While his clearly creeped-out partner turned the head that he was holding to evade its ugly face, Sasori continued his proceedings over to the piled ninja he had left. The first on he saw was Sakon. The silver-haired shinobi's head was still hung down, his long bangs covering his face. Sasori knelt over and grabbed him firmly by the hair, pushing his head up so he could see his face. He looked miserable. His skin was pale, and there was dirt and scratches on various parts. He looked pathetic enough when he came in between the girl and him with such big wounds.

Letting go of the kid's hair and letting his head drop back down, he looked over the others. There was no way that he would be able to carry all of them back to Oto by himself. Especially the really big guy.

"I'll need to get Orochimaru to accept me into his village. I can't simply go sneaking around the whole time. Give me a hand with delivering these three, won't you?"

"But, Master--!"

"Stop calling me 'Buttmaster'."

"…un…"

He got up and quickly moved over to the other two unconscious jounin. He stopped right in front of the two motionless bodies and gazed quietly down.

"I may also…have a use for you two as well." He murmured.

He pulled out his prized pocket watch to again check the time.

'_3:26.'_

Then he looked up beyond the trees, and into the night sky. Otogakure wasn't far. Not at all. If Orochimaru would leave his village, then it would have to be somewhere nearby. He knew that somewhere behind those walls, that girl was in there, still unconscious. Recovering.

Waiting.

Sasori cringed at the thought of making somebody else wait. Time to get to work.

He took a light step forward to the two unconscious bodies in front, and knelt down over them. It was astounding what useful _resources_ that Orochimaru would just…leave lying around.


	12. Juuman' Okudo

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

**Chapter 10: Juuman' Okudo**

_Meaningless._

The way things were, to Sasori, had always been meaningless. Every fight that he had ever been in, save for the one to claim his favorite human puppet, the Sandaime, had been nothing but a small blur on his unnaturally prolonged life. If he saw a person with a talent that he himself didn't have, then he would make that person one with his collection. It was that simple. And the little resistance – 'ungratefulness' as Sasori had come to call it; that petty resistance that one would show to protect his or her own life to keep Sasori from turning them perfect (more deadly), was meaningless. He only ever did them favors.

A mutual negotiator. That was what it meant to be Akasuna no Sasori. His gain in making people stronger…was making himself stronger. Sure there was the minor long-term effect of the 'client' losing his or her own life, but of course, sacrifices simply _must_ be made.

But finally, after two decades of wait, this girl whom he had stumbled upon by chance was in fact, _not so meaningless._ The thought of seeing her again brought only the slightest brush of amusement to his lifeless eye. But as he always says…all mortal things must come to an end. And her end just happened to meet up within a year's reach. What wonders there would be to look forward to afterwards – after he had obtained this…hidden chakra monster. The power that he would achieve. The land that he would rule over, the things that he would have…

"OI! Sasori no Danna. Head: out of the clouds, hm."

…He was getting close.

* * *

Footsteps trailed down the green padding of the grass, every so often, a small splash of water. It was dark, almost pitch, with the sounds of wind blowing and bird chirping – gone as if they never had existed. Clinging to her mask as the only opposable mean to conceal her identity from whoever may be watching through the dark back at her, Yugao made her way up to the shadowed blot the size of a man.

The sky above was bleak, cracked, and dead. The white flash of lightning revealed itself from behind the black clouds, the clash of thunder in the far distance quickly following suit. One particular beam of light being shot through briefly gave Yugao time to make out the major detail of the white cloth clinging to her objective target's head. A thick black band was wrapped around the back of the person's head as she could see, indicating that he was wearing a headband.

As she could see as she got closer, whoever it was had his back turned, staring down at something at his feet. It was apparent that he had not detected her yet. She realized that there may be hope for her yet, and she was left with a choice to make. Use the element of surprise to her advantage, or flee silently.

Deciding that finding out if this person knew anything about Hayate was more important than turning back after coming all the way out, she persisted with the approach. Although her conscience told her not to confront this man without further information in regards to if he could kill her and how, she could handle anything that the young Leaf Retrieval Squad could.

She chose to tread especially light as she got closer, although with her level of training, she could walk up to a sleeping cat normally, and not wake it from its slumber. That went without saying when it came to the ANBU Black Ops.

Ambling closer and closer to the figure drenched in the black of night, his figure became more and more realized to her, as well as the cloud shapes staining the back of a long, void cloak. The curtains of the uniform sway back and forth only slightly at the catch of wind. The rain continued to drip from the sky, although not as heavily as when she had confronted Uchiha Itachi, and the thunder and lightning persisted to make it a very loud night for ninjas.

She wondered back to her friend, Komachi, and if she would be okay without her being there with her. Although she held absolute faith in Kakashi and the others, she still had to worry about who they may have to fight just to get back home.

Shaking that from her mind, Yugao brushed her long purple hair back, which had been pushed in front of her decorated mask by the rude wind.

She kept both eyes on the tall figure, which continued to stare down at something invisible to her from behind him. He was in a daze, swaying his body in back and forth motions only slightly, much like a sleepwalker, or one of those zombies from the late night horror movies that she used to stay up to watch. Back then ninjas chose to be more afraid of a possible zombie outbreak than an Akatsuki raid.

Suddenly the figure in front of her threw his head up straight. Yugao froze. Had he sensed her? Was now a good time to leave?

The figure's head looked forward the opposite direction of her for a few tens of seconds before dropping back down to continue dozing.

The female officer felt her mind breathe out a hefty sigh of relief.

But all sense of relief was ultimately denied when she heard something slimy moving alongside the hill. By the time she turned, something invisible shot at her from the side and delivered an impact blow.

* * *

Where most of the forest was already calm, the rain ceasing up, there was one part in particular where rain was pouring down mercilessly. The area was somewhat of a grotto, with a patch clearing of trees and a small waterfall adding on to the rainfall. The sky was cracked with a black and dark gray texture.

The texture became bright red.

And then it became a dark purple. The perplexing clouds soon lapsed into all manner of discord with lightning of an unnatural sort – at least what the people of Konoha and Oto were not accustomed to. The ongoing war in the sky strove farther and farther, and louder and louder…until the breaking point.

The very heavens burst asunder, rendering the nearest rock and trees no more. A gigantic surge of power lashed down from the open gap, which had stars of all manner of colors, from the whitest light to the most sinister purple, scrambling and separating in the twilight. The surge itself was pure white, and any mortal who were to gaze upon it would no doubt have their eyes seared out of their skull from the intensity.

The gigantic pillar of light rippled, almost as if it was attempting to open up or expand into something bigger. But in all attempts failed, there was a violent outburst of electrical static shooting forth and immolating more debris. And instantly, the gigantic pillar, as quickly as it had come out, vanished, with the trace of the huge smoldering crater were it had evidently ended on, and the sky above, flashed back into nature.

The immense power of the whole incident was such that there was no dust cloud around. The great heat had left small flickers of light drifting everywhere, like little tiny white fireflies, from where the dirt particles had all been incinerated.

The rust-colored cloak covering something crouched in the center of the huge crater left by the great light pillar of energy, drifting to and fro in the wind and rain. Then, the figure of a man slowly rose from his crouched position, his face safely stowed away under his network of tattered rags. The outfit was detailed, but with gnarl. The cloak looked like it could collapse at any given time.

The figure brushed his long cape of brown and black mended together to the side, and checked his surroundings through his hood. He held his arm up to shield his hidden face, fighting against the torrent. He found himself in the middle of the lush, green forest stained only slightly from his sudden entrance.

A man's cold, but somewhat handsome voice spoke from the bottom of the hood.

"Now…this is more like it." A grin began to spread where the words had been spoken. "The technology here seems a bit primitive compared to an encephalon. It seems that I have escaped U-DO and the others for a moment. That's wonderful. Though I do miss the sweet sound and pain of being shot at by guns, I do in fact appreciate the serenity of being able to clear one's…_perfect_ conscience away from the war for a little while."

He began his slow ascent out of the crater and spread his arms out to breathe in the fresh air opposed to the same stingy smoke and death that he grew to be quite accustomed to. His feet splashed against the puddles of water littering the ground. He wore no shinobi sandals or sandals of any kind, but dark gray boots that were wrapped around occasionally tattered gauze.

"But what's this I smell?" He raised his nose from under his hood and gently whiffed the air. After a moment: "OOhhhohoho, what a delicious fragrance! Hatred, power, and conscience that almost matches mine, all packed together! Ah, Rubedo's scent was nothing compared to this! _Nothing!_" He screamed hysterically at the fact.

He hesitantly turned his head both ways to realize that the 'scent' was coming from two compass directions.

"How interesting. One from the North, one in the South. One of them is much stronger than the other." With a reluctant first step, he began his wander. "But why spoil the promise of such a beautiful confrontation. I'll track the weaker trace first, and then,"

He lifted his hood to reveal the tan, handsome face of a man with free, silver hair.

"_I'll test the source."_ His icy eyes lit with cruelty, his face already smiling with the bliss amusement of a long-awaited challenge.

"Heh…Heheheheh…AAHEHAHAHAHAHAA…_AAAHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA_!!"

The rain continued with the sound of his sadistic, inhuman laughter.

* * *

It was a bleak, rainy early morning in Oto. The dawn had not cracked yet, but would in a few given hours. The buildings were large, tall, and metallic, and some of them showed signs of debris indicating that they hadn't been looked after in a very long time. The walls were tall, each one at almost forty feet, and guards patrolled every corner.

At the front gate, a long draped red cloak, somber in the night, almost hovered elegantly, completely covered. The person's face was unclear, a hood thrown over his head. Two familiar figures lagged behind him. The jounin that Orochimaru had left to die. Together they pulled endlessly at a steady pace a rusty cart, three bodies lying inside. Each one had a hand on the handle adjacent to the other, and they grunted with effort. It would have been a lot lighter of a load if Jirobo wasn't on it with his less hefty colleagues. And as expected, Kidomaru, as well as the entanglement of Sakon and his identical brother, were laid around or atop the giant of a kid.

The cart's wheels creaked eerily along the mud-ridden trail on their way to the village's great gates. When they arrived directly in front, the one in the red, whom apparently had led the expedition, raised his arm up high in a signal for the others to stop.

They did.

He then proceeded to stare up at the impressive construction of the wall around the city. Amazing. It was the property of a previous member of Akatsuki, no doubt.

With the flick of his finger, the stained figure issued a silent order to one of the following shinobi to call up to the gatekeepers. The man did as he was instructed.

"Hello up there! Is anyone on duty?!" He shouted through a pair of cuffed hands over his mouth to amplify his voice. There was no instant reply. The dark-colored flags marking the front gate above blew violently against an angry wind carrying in. "HEY! ASSES!! Get it together!!" He shouted again, while his partner seized the moment to temporarily recuperate.

Just then a few heads stuck out from the wall littered with spikes in a neat, singular row.

"Who goes there?!" An authoritative voice shouted from the high elevation.

"It's me: Yaturo! And I've got Sazuka with me too! We have a guest who seeks an audience with Orochimaru-sama!"

The other voice took a moment to respond.

"I received no issue from Lord Orochimaru that he would meet with any visitors today! Which province does he hail from and what is his business with the Otokage?!"

"Degarashi Port! Tea Country! He's a defected noble who has chosen to give himself to our village as a soldier, and he's come a very long way! Now open the gate before all of us down here dash up the wall and throw you off of the top!" He explained to his stubborn colleague.

"Permit me for saying sir," one of the voices high above responded, "your behavior is rather _assholish_ today!"

"Yours'd be too if Orochimaru left you for coyote food! Now open the goddamn GATE!!"

They waited for a long moment. The man in the red cloak took the time to survey the outside area of Oto. It was nothing short of a wasteland. He could see in the far off distance where the forest begins, but no tree was standing within a hundred meters of the towering walls.

Suddenly they all heard a low creak, and recognized it as the two humungous doors of the gate opening slowly for them. The red-cloaked person smirked beneath his hood and resumed his approach to the village itself.

The jounin who had vouched for him picked up the speed slightly as he dragged the wagon of teenage shinobi, and struggled to keep at the pace that the slightly shorter noble was.

"I'm sorry for that, sir. Oto doesn't have the most hospitable citizens and police force. You'll have to bear with us."

The traveler didn't answer, but heaved a short breath. It was relieving that he didn't have himself a _Monty Python_ moment with the soldiers on the wall. The last thing he needed to make this lovely hike more wonderful was a pointless fuss, argument, and subsequent uproar.

He looked around. Heading for the highest building, to which he was sure was Orochimaru's office, he ignored the curious or dirty looks that he was getting from the village's denizens. In due time, everyone would learn to respect him, but for now, he was most very anxious to meet the Snake Sannin face-to-face.

Still, he could not believe that he was finally here. His faded blue sandals splashed the muddy road of the first street, while his head kept a straight profile to keep from exposing himself to the stares of the villagers. Did everybody stop doing what it was that they were doing every time a mysterious visitor just happens through their gate? He elevated his hidden head slightly. Even the guards had stopped their routine patrols to leer down at him. Some people were whispering to each other.

"Hey, what're all of you staring at?!" Yaturo shouted in extreme annoyance to the onlookers. "This man is royalty! Show some respect all of you!"

The effect of this demand was lagging, but overall a success. One by one, people turned back to what they were doing, whether it was trading wares, gardening, or just an early morning walk. The shinobi returned to their patrolling of the walls and high rooftops of the metallic building structures.

The stranger in red grinned silently under his hood, and proceeded.

It took about twenty to thirty minutes of trampling through mud, but he had finally reached the fancy doors of the Otogakure mansion. The place itself was in a lot better shape than any of the neighboring buildings would probably ever be. On the door were two knockers, one for each door, handsomely gilded with gold, bearing the resemblance of serpentine heads.

The concealed figure's hosts no longer carried the cart behind them. They were sure to drop the unconscious shinobi off at the medical district before proceeding up the long flight of stairs leading to their overlord's doorstep.

Sazuka, Yaturo's colleague, walked up with his head bowed low in respect, while his teammate and the former noble stood at the either side, the red figure twitching his fingers in sudden movements while he waited.

He made two loud, distinct knocks on the door, and stepped back.

They waited for about a minute before one door creaked steadily open.

'_This is it.'_ The young man under the cloak thought excitedly to himself.

Everyone cautiously stepped into the dark to follow a mysterious green glow.

The halls of the Otokage's mansion were breathtaking. The designs etched into the floor, walls, and ceiling of the entrance were so perfectly lined up with each other, that the noble was certain that the architectural blueprints themselves must have taken months to set up. Lights of limelit green illuminated the hall to keep the residents from running into the walls in blind darkness. Whether they emitted from candles, lanterns, or torches was unknown. Everyone's footsteps clicked against the stone ground and echoed down the narrow corridor. Every now and then, the small group would run into a tall statue of a long serpent.

Finally, after what the party could swear to God was an hour, they reached the throne entrance of the mansion, and an evil wind was heard sweeping out. No one dared to poof in on Orochimaru, because he disliked the sudden interruption, and because they never knew what he might be doing. Hence, they never even knew what it _took_ to interrupt him.

The red-robed noble stepped through the throne room, his two guides following him, up to where he saw a man with straight silver hair, covered in bandages sitting. To the right of his position was the pale Sannin himself with his arms folded neatly, shining two golden evil eyes at the approaching party.

"_Kukuku_," they heard his creepy chuckle echo as they neared his throne. "A bit early for visitors…" The pale man announced seemingly to the bandaged man sitting beside him, leering up at them with that very same insidious look. "Don't you agree…Orochimaru?"

The bandaged man leveled his head a little, but then resorted to simply leaning against one of his hands with his arm locked in an upright position. "Yes," he spoke in a hiss, "I very much agree…_'Orochimaru'_." His seemingly identical voice answered, emphasizing playfully on the Snake Sannin's name.

The men side-to-side with the red concealed man instantly dropped to the ground in the form of a respectful, somehow desperate bow. One of them decided to speak quickly.

"I apologize with the utmost sincerity…Otokage-sama. This man came a long way to see you. He-he's a noble from Tea Country who defected to join us."

Both images of 'Orochimaru' smiled with amusement. That was the noble's chance. He hadn't spoken a word since he had arrived, but now was time.

"I may be new here…" the voice of a young man started. "But I still hear things." He reached for his hood and gently lowered it. A bed of black hair quickly replaced where the garment once was. The man's eyes opened to them. They were jet black. He was not really a man after all, but instead had the face of a boy. "I hear that 'Akatsuki' has returned. I may not be the best fighter in my village, but I've been taught basic forms of taijutsu and genjutsu, and know a few advanced forms of ninjutsu. Not that I'm not confident in your ability to fight 'Akatsuki' yourself, but it seems to me that you could at least use every available ninja to your disposal."

The bandaged man leaned forward on his throne and clasped his hands together in anticipation. "Is that so…and just what is it that you hope to achieve from me for your services? Or do you simply mean to tell me that you traveled all the way from the Tea Country just to offer them to me for free?"

"That's not quite right," the noble objected. The Orochimaru that he was speaking to leaned in closer. "I've had my eye on you for a long time…most of my own years as a matter of fact. I'm not sure if you're aware or not, but my country is going through...quite the recession right now, and are not prepared to risk anything in wars of any kind. I always spoke with my family that we, that Tea Country, could use your alliance in terms of warfare against other villages that may seek to do us harm. They never listened to me. They called me a fool. So I said to them 'If you think me a fool, then I'll be somebody else's fool.' And shortly thereafter, I left without saying goodbye. I guess I was still kinda pissed with them."

Orochimaru chuckled slightly more with amusement at the comment.

"Before you start to think I'm after money or status or something like that, I hope you recognize the fact that I've had all that stuff before I decided coming here. Really all I'm trying to do is make a statement to my family that Tea Country needs Otogakure. Before you know it, they'll have figured out where I am, and they'd have no choice but to form an alliance with you to get me to come back."

The Snake Sannin nodded in understanding to this. The revealed form of Orochimaru standing to his right continued grinning at the red figure standing before them. The nobleman continued.

"So really, having me as part of your village…these aren't bad conditions for you. I don't see what harm one more fighter in your armies is. I…I even brought your Sound shinobi back." He realized it even as he spoke. "They were lying unconscious on the ground. I saw somebody looming over them, like in some sort of a trance or something, but when I revealed myself, he fled at the sight of me."

The pale man thought long and hard at this. Then, grinning malevolently through the bandages masking his face, he slowly stood up from his throne in his light purple gown.

"…What's your name, boy?" He asked in almost a whisper.

The handsome noble looked up at him. Then he smiled and ceremoniously nodded his head once off to him.

"Of course. I guess I've been gone from home a bit too long and have forgotten my manners…" He got down on his knee with the other two jounin and announced, "Please accept my cordial interjection. My name is Okudo." He stated. "Juuman' Okudo."

Both forms of the Snake Sannin smiled down at him from the throne, both pairs of arms neatly folded.

"You may rise." One of the two announced. He complied.

"I-if you don't mind me asking," The young black-haired man attempted, "which one of you is…the _real_ Orochimaru?"

They both smirked silently at him for a moment. "Guess."

Okudo decided to accept the game of Stupid with them. He pointed randomly at the uncovered face of Orochimaru. "You?"

The pale man's grin deepened.

"Incorrect."

Instantly, the form burst into a cloud of smoke, and a pair of bright spectacles shone out.

"Please allow me to introduce to you my assistant," the masked, apparently real version of Orochimaru declared. "Kabuto."

The boy with that very name put a hand to his hip and used his other hand to adjust his glasses in his customary pose. He glared out from under his hand with a devilish grin on his face at the young noble.

"Pleased to meet you," he said in a somewhat manner of a scoff. Okudo's eyes widened in surprise apparently at his sudden appearance. "Okudo-kun." He finished teasingly.

The red man's surprised expression eventually wore off, and he leered seriously back at the medical nin. "You too…Kabuto-_kun._" He replied, addressing the courteous suffix with false respect.

Kabuto easily recognized this, which was probably what Okudo had meant for him to do, so he simply held his smile.

"I see you two will get along just fine." Orochimaru stated happily. "Unfortunately, I am far too weak at the moment to venture outside of Oto's walls. In the midst of a failing mission, I sent Kabuto out posing as myself to bring back someone to…_assure_ my successes in the future."

Okudo looked up at him questionably. "You're not talking about the Uchiha boy?"

Orochimaru's golden eyes widened only slightly through the mask. "Sasuke-kun? Indeed you have heard a lot… Well yes, he is a necessity, but not quite the person I was mentioning. Sasuke-kun is busy training right now, but maybe you'll see him in the morning."

"And just who is this…_other person_, do you mind me asking?"

Orochimaru smiled ambitiously at the question.

"If you're so very curious," he started, "why don't you go to the private sector of the medical district and meet her."

The young man's eyes lit up. Her? Could it mean… "I-is that really okay??" He asked anxiously.

"Of course. Now if you'll excuse the excuse…I am rather tired now." He turned and prepared to depart from his throne. "See you both in the morning, Kabuto-kun…Okudo-kun…kukuku…"

With that, the Sannin drifted away into the dark, leaving the four shinobi standing behind in the giant chamber. Excluding Kabuto, a strange chill, almost like a mist wrapped around the small party left the masked man's footsteps as he descended into the darker interior of his sanctum. But the strange thing was that the very moment he stepped into the abyss out of sight, his footsteps just...stopped.

Leering over at Kabuto to make sure that his attention wasn't on him, Okudo swiftly twitched and yanked his fingers in a strange kind of gesture, and Yaturo and Sazuka simultaneously stood up from their knelt positions. They held at attention, waiting for an order.

"C'mon." Kabuto quickly said while he headed for the doorway. "I'll show you to her."

The man in red, with his guides at both sides staring on, continued his empty stare in hidden anger at the medical nin, before following behind and leaving the colossal throne room with the jounin.

* * *

The trip to the medical facility went just as awkward as the previous one. The roofs were damp from the rain, and the lanterns of bright red that lit up the street were dripping from the bad shower.

The group of four walked under the red illumination cast by the lanterns onto the mud road. Despite the somewhat miserable condition of the buildings around, the entire place wasn't completely without electricity. Telephone poles were lined up along the sidewalk with electrical wires protruding out of them, connecting each section to the next, and giving the village of Oto the appearance of one huge industrial complex.

Some building structures in the background behind the metallic ones, unnoticed by Okudo before, were wooden, inferring that they were slums for the less fortunate.

Unlike Kabuto, who walked straight ahead, having possibly been through this route a thousand times before, Okudo turned his head to look for civilians. Most everyone else had gone into their homes, leaving just the small party to walk alone down the plaza.

Finally they came to a particularly large building situated slightly outside of the main village, secluded from most other buildings except for a small communications tower that branched off of it.

"Here we are." Kabuto announced. "This building is the crown jewel of medical technology in Oto. Only Orochimaru's top advisors, spies, and military are allowed to be looked after here, and it's very rare for average shinobi to be able to visit here, so feel humbled. For all it's worth, this could be the last time that you come here."

His toured party stopped and looked up at the amazing structure. It was metallic, like most everything else, but looked a lot better built. This place was important to Oto, and everybody knew it.

"Now," Kabuto held up his index finger to make a point while he proceeded to walk through the glass doors, "I'd like to lay down some ground rules."

He walked up to the secretary counter and signed in to the lady at the desk, whom looked bored out of her mind. She practically ignored Kabuto as he inscribed his signature on the chart, resting her weary head against her hand.

"This place is not just a hospital," he continued, "It's one of our many top-of-the-line medical research facilities, and it happens to be the only one we've got in the village. There are scientists working here every hour on the hour. If you disrupt or disturb, even attempt _conversation_ with some of them here, there's a very good chance you could be killed, and that would be messy for me. Please make a point to leave them be, unless for any given reason, they approach you instead."

Okudo nodded with understanding. They proceeded to walk down the hall, looking for the door leading to the girl.

"We're looking for room 212…" Kabuto muttered while he held the clipboard out in front of him as they walked on. "Another rule is not to disturb the patients. Some of these people are very old veterans, and they can be cranky as hell. Some of them still have some spark left in them too. Doctors and nurses have been killed unexpectedly in a couple of incidents because they served some of these folks the wrong foods." He chuckled silently to himself as if he just made a hilarious joke. "So I guess you should mind your manners." He concluded, wiping an imaginary tear from his eye.

"It won't be a problem." His accompanied replied calmly.

They proceeded to climb the stairs to the second floor. Their sandals clicked noisily on the marble stairway. The tall window to the side was still dark.

"Is there any particular reason you brought your two guides with us? I'm your guide for now, there's really no need…"

"They agreed to accompany me for my first day in case I ran into trouble." Okudo quickly explained. "I said it was unnecessary, but…"

"We said it would be an honor." Yaturo finished for him, giving him a polite smile from behind.

Kabuto scoffed from over his shoulder and turned to continue the long walk. He hid a smile behind his clipboard so that nobody else could see. This fool had no idea what he was getting into. The personal game that Kabuto enjoyed playing with newcomers was to keep them thinking on their first day that they would be treated first class. Then when they signed onto the military, they entered Hell compared to their own standards. It was always so worth the effort to keep the flow going. And it kept everyone in line.

They walked down the mostly white hallway, although some of the paint on the walls and ceiling was peeled back to reveal a gross brown underbelly. Okudo cringed at the filth and severe need for redecoration. Every so often the group would walk past a slender, white stretcher without the sheets on it, prepared to serve any sudden emergency or need. Some of the stretchers were already covered in sheets, the shape of bodies stuck underneath them. They were motionless. Dead.

Everyone stopped at a certain door. "This is it. Here we are." Kabuto's voice reeked with tension. Whether it was to rile his guest or not, it was working.

The red garment royal's heart pumped quite noisily with excitement. And there was a good reason. He stared on at the white hospital door that appeared to also have peeled paint on its surface. The metal license next the door read _212_.

He turned expectantly to his new, younger guide. "Am I allowed to see her?"

Kabuto gave him a funny look. "Well I didn't bring you all the way from Orochimaru's throne room to the second floor of our high-tech facility miles away just to have you look at the door." He established. Even without the mocking tone, the statement itself criticized Okudo for his stupid question.

"O-of course."

Savoring the moment a bit longer, he wrapped his fingers around the doorknob, and twisted it. The lock clicked, and the door slowly creaked open. He found himself peering into a dark room. There was a high-pitch beeping sound coming from some of the medical machinery. His dark eyes affixed on the very thing that he wanted to see even more than Orochimaru.

On a white bed, under the covers, with some bandages wrapped on, was the dormant body of a red-haired kunoichi.

"It's…_you_…" Okudo whispered silently to himself so that his host could not hear.

"I brought her here just a matter of hours ago. She's been comatose ever since the incident a little ways away." Kabuto adjusted the spectacles of his glasses again. "We've got big plans for our little girl." He giggled eerily. He took the clipboard out from under his arm and presented it to Okudo. "Her psychological profiles are restricted, but I can let you see her basic information on this medical sheet. You may end up even working with her, so it may be beneficial to you."

The red noble took the clipboard out of his hand and kept eye contact with him. "May I wait here for a while with her?" He asked, expressionless.

Kabuto smirked at the request. "Growing a bit attached to our little girl already, are we Okudo-_kun?_" He cooed, knowing now that the suffix pisses his new guest off. "Personally, _I_ wouldn't. Visiting hours are day hours." He said sternly. He put his hand to his chin, as if he was still thinking about it. He ultimately lowered his hand and gave his guest a toothy grin. "Well, well, you really are getting the royal treatment this morning, aren't you, your _majesty?_" He asked mockingly, inspiring a glare from the taller noble. "Fine. Do what you like. I'm outta here though, I have work to do back at the mansion."

He turned for the door and took a step out. Before he went, he turned his head to glance menacingly back over his shoulder at the group he was leaving. There he saw the young-blood noble in his red cloak, his attention already off of him, standing right next to his patient's bed, ignoring the buzzes, beeps, and whirs of the machinery as he loomed over her. As he continued to watch with the utmost amusement, the boy lifted his hand toward her peaceful face, reaching out to her. To cut him off, the last words Kabuto said before his departure were:

"…But I'd sure hate to be around if she woke up."

With that, the door slammed shut, and the royal heard the gears of the lock click.

"Kabuto! You better not have locked me in!!" He shouted at the door. There was no response. Just the damned continuous sounds that varied off of the hospital's technology drifting lightly all around. He looked back to see the two jounin still staring emotionlessly at him. _Good little toys._

He then looked at the wall to see if there were any security cams surveying him. There weren't, surprisingly. The room was windowless, so there was little worry about being watched from a _window_. He crept silently up to the door that his guide had just closed and held his ear to the surface, listening calmly to make sure Kabuto was really gone. Even though the machinery's sounds got quieter and less annoying with time, it made him try extra hard. But he heard nothing on the other side. Though Kabuto was a ninja, Okudo's hearing would not fail him.

Finding that everything was clear, he turned his head back to the girl lying on the bed and narrowed his eyes wickedly upon her. He watched her torso from under the sheets slightly rise, then slightly fall. Her gentle breathing. He instantly felt like approaching her further just to listen to the relaxing sounds that her gentle voice made with every breath of air she let go. But that was hardly the reason he had come in the first place. "You've cost me a lot of trouble." He gruffly told her, even though he knew she couldn't hear. "_You,_ a young girl..."

He pulled up both of his hands instantly in a clicking gesture, and the two jounin he was with instantly crashed to the hard tile floor. A loud clatter erupted from the bodies, and their wooden frames broke open.

Reaching down into one hollowed body of the two shinobi, he pulled out a fair-size scroll, and then he reached into the other one to do the same.

With both scrolls retrieved, he held them under one arm, while he braced Kabuto's clipboard with the other.

"I'm disappointed with you, Orochimaru. Truly, I am. Even though I made slight modifications to my eyes and hair, I thought for _sure_ you would recognize me. We've seen each other so many times before."

Taking the name of a noble by the surname of 'Juuman'? Has there ever been a bloodline called _'Juuman'?_ Absolutely not. What a ridiculous thing to fall for, especially since it had only taken fifteen minutes to make his whole background life up. Honestly, if he had thought the infiltration would have been this easy, he would have done it _years_ ago.

He forcefully held the clipboard up to his face. Time to learn the name of the girl he came all the way up here to see. His still dark eyes frantically surveyed the top of the sheet for the patient's name. They widened when they hit it.

_Tayuya of the North Gate_

He now knew who she was.

A twisted grin started slowly around the 'noble's face and he held a handsign up to himself.

His black hair and eyes faded away to their normal colors. He _did_ tell Orochimaru that he was taught the basics of genjutsu.

"You won't be rid of me that easily," he told the girl while he faced the other way. "_…Tayuya of the North Gate."_ He hummed her name out gracefully from his lips. The name itself was a soliloquy to his own ears. It matched up perfectly.

His red hair and brown eyes were back. His true form was now clear.

Akasuna no Sasori had come to Oto. And he had found Tayuya.


	13. Look at You

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

**Chapter 11: "Look at You"**

The fallen red prince figure turned back to give the unconscious girl a cold, unforgiving stare. There was no way she was getting away now. Just no way. And now that he's seen what she is capable of, the chances that someone as simplistic as a fourteen-year-old would surprise him again were undoubtedly low.

The hospital electrical light over his head flashed dimly, a sick buzzing sound lagged behind. It acted somewhat of a symbolic meaning, like a lightbulb comically going off over somebody's head as they hatch an idea.

Sasori remembered that in order to keep a safe, clean profile, he would need to hide any evidence of his earlier work, or Orochimaru would surely find out about him one way or another. Then again, with all the misfortune that had gone on today, he might've pinned him already. But in just a few minutes, he should have some nice time all to himself to be able to think about what to do about that. Work wasn't over yet.

Glancing down at the dried carcasses of what were once probably great shinobi of Oto, he set the clip board gently, hesitantly down on the small, empty table next to Tayuya's bed. His concentration momentarily off of her, he took one customized scrolls in each hand and undid them without a manner of effort. The runes and characters of sealing scrolls were laid out across the parchment with the perfectly circular holes in the center of the rings where the objects about to go in would fill. He set them parallel to each other on the hard tiled floor. Even the most advanced ninja could still set a tremendous use for such a genin's trick. A substitution could safe a person's life from any technique; a simple genin's tool could do just the same for any undercover mission. So he supposed that no one, not even a genin, should be underestimated just for their ranking. Meeting this agitating young girl was somewhat of a testament to that reminder.

He walked over to the first puppet body that he chose and scooped it up in both arms, letting the wooden arms and legs click as they dangled loosely. The head of the corpse hung back in the puppet master's arms. The look of the man's face was horrific, with its eyes rolled way back into its head and the jaw unhinged into an open, silent scream – the true face of the corpse, the man's real expression, had surfaced.

Now that he gave it some small thought, it probably would have been easier on everyone if he had decided to kill them _before_ working on their conversion into part of his collection. The surgical procedures; the alterations could be…quite painful. But listening to a human being scream – a man, a woman, a child, an infant – he would never bat an eye. He had abandoned and forgotten any meaning of the word pain, and in forgetting, he became the organization's top resort in torture and interrogation.

The weapon of mass destruction, to end the need of human force – ordinary shinobi. That was him.

Both of these jounin…had died _screaming._ He could still envision the blood in his mind, so vivid, so fresh, so…

He cracked a smile in thought.

…_red._ What an exciting color.

Taking his new and now outmoded puppet gently down over the elongated scroll, he let it click dead to the seal before going back after the tiny chips of wood that were left behind when he dropped them. Setting the shards in place with the body, now twisted together in a horrendous way, he stood back up to move onto the next one.

Eventually, both shattered vessels were in their place, and he aligned himself facing the vertical gap between the two perfectly symmetrical scrolls. He clasped his hands together, and issued the command, _"Inshou,"_ in a silent whisper.

In two abrupt puffs of smoke, both man-sized objects were translated into the remnants of their assigned scrolls without a hint flaw. The centers of the rings in the scrolls slowly filled into lone runes of black. Sealing jutsu: success.

There was one less thing to look suspicious about. No dead wooden humanoids here.

Reaching down and wrapping a hand around each hilt, the parchment instantly retracted into the neatly folded scrolls that they were before he initiated the sealing. Then, he picked them both up, the weight of the puppets inside now as light as feathers, and put them both into the sleeves of his robe.

Now that there was no threat of being totally exposed, he went ahead and set his gaze upon a lone chair standing in the corner of the hospital room. The place was dim, save for the only electrical light buzzing every second or so over Tayuya's bed.

It was silent in the room, giving Sasori plenty of time to evaluate what he should do next. Then, and only then, he slowly turned his head to capture the girl that he had come all the way up just to visit with his entrancing stare, watching her from just that small distance away. That's all that she was – a small distance away. She was so _close_ within grasp. He just felt like reaching out and taking her for himself, then he could leave this dingy prison. Capturing her in this state would be oh so very easy, and he could do so without drawing that much attention to himself. If he did so happen to draw attention to himself: fight. It's not like he sucks at it. Even without his eternally loyal toys, he had a hell of enough tricks to get him through the morning.

He began moving towards the chair, watching her over his shoulder equally silently, and he put his hand on the top part to begin gently lifting and carrying it over to the very foot of her bed with one arm. He set it down in such a way that it faced her directly, trying his best not to make the slightest sound. He succeeded.

Using the shadows as cover, he faded out as the weak light above him faded, and when it came back on somewhat, he was found to have instantly, soundlessly maneuvered from the front of her bed to the side, right next to her, his silhouetted outline to the hazy light above. Time to get a good look at the objective's face – something that wasn't exactly an option to do when she was lobbing ogres at him before.

The first thing that he noticed, with disapproval, was the long strand of red hair that she kept dangling limp over her forehead, practically dividing her face in two from the tip of the nose, up. He had remembered that trait off of her even when he fought her, and he had to admit, it was rather bothersome. If she really looked like an ugly bitch, at least let herself have the guts on letting the world know.

The red shroud which now looked almost black in the darkness stretched a long arm to reach for her face. His fingers adjusted themselves to look like they were about to pluck something. They soon reached her face, which slept peacefully, and very carefully, very slowly, he wrapped the pads of his fingertips around the girl's stubborn strand of hair hanging down over her face where he had first seen it.

Trying, yet not really looking like it, he treated her red, silky hair delicately as he brushed it off to the side of her face to even out her look. Goodness, what would her mother say? Tsk, tsk.

The hair brushed ever slightly against the smooth surface of her cheek on the way, making her entire face seem to go into sort of a wince. His eyes narrowed in attempt to read her expression. Did it tickle her? Whatever, he couldn't care less so long as the slender piece of hair was off to the side with the rest of it, where it belonged.

He sighed, acknowledging that his action to reveal _all_ of the girl's face without causing a big dilemma a success. He was just a really hopeless perfectionist.

'_There. That's better, at least…'_ He decided to lean in for the closest possible look, getting on his knees and resting both of his arms on the edge of her bed, his chin on top of them. His face was just a few inches away from hers. While she would most likely deem it an uncomfortable shortage of personal space for herself, she remained casual and unaware, continuing to drift in the dream world. Without that hair barring the complete window to her looks, admittedly, she looked sort of…different. He had realized almost instantly when he pushed that annoying strand of hair to the side that she didn't really look like an ugly bitch at all. Not by any stretch of the imagination. Not that he had judged often for this kind of thing.

With her eyes closed in her sleep, not constantly glaring on the venturous person who'd look straight at them, she actually looked…sweet and innocent. Her skin was light and completely flawless, save for a small scratch or two from their last fight. It was apparent that he hadn't left her _totally_ uninjured.

He shrugged indifferently. Oh well.

Her breathing was soft and quiet, inhaling and then exhaling with not as much exhaustion as it seemed relaxation. He wondered with childish curiosity about what she might be dreaming.

"Hmph," he scoffed in a whisper. "I still can't believe that something as powerful as a Bijuu had to have been with you all this time. And you…you're just a kid…aren't you? What a poor, sad thing… So young too…" He looked down at her dormant expression in such a demeanor that nobody knew what he had felt about her in her occupation, her position. "You've really had it rough, haven't you? But I'm afraid that the fun little adventure you're having doesn't stop just yet."

He saw as he spoke that she wasn't wearing her boyish cap anymore, but to his dismay, it was substituted by a bundle of medical bandages wrapped around her head to help treat a concussion of some sort. Outside of her condition, she would look so much more lady-like if she would just mind her self-surroundings, including what she decided to wear. But he realized that he didn't come this close to give her fashion criticism, so he pulled something up from beneath himself onto the bed next to his arms and Tayuya's side concealed within white sheets.

It was a blue notebook; a bit plain, with nothing on the front or backhand covers except for the color itself. The pages inside had many places already filled, in neat handwriting, with all of Sasori's research, including his astute observations, self-memos, blueprints and schematics for the most dedicated engineer, alchemical recipes for his most lethal poisons, and his vast, educated discoveries. It was his life's worth of collecting information, compiled into a single mass plethora of notes for keeping.

Unknown even to the person in the world closest to him, his own partner, he had always possessed everything in the palm of his hand – including the secrets passed down in Suna by legendary puppet masters, very much like himself, about how to convert oneself into a body fit for immortality, limitless in aging, sickness, fatigue, and hunger – or what he had come to call that particular secret, the _Sensui no Seinen._ That was the name he had given it. It was the secret to stay alive in the world forever. And to never be forgotten.

And now, it was time to make an update to that journal.

With tiny hints of wistfulness, he readied a thin black pen in his left hand. He had always agreed with the notion that being left-handed meant that you possessed special artistic traits. Briefly dabbing the point of his utensil with the tip of his tongue, he threw it down onto his parchment and began throwing down the end products of his day.

He had two journals. He would work on the _other,_ later.

Taking Kabuto's medical clipboard off of the table, he flipped the thoughtful little gift on to the bed next to his prized daily records. Then he began copying the information of the clipboard onto his personal accounts:

_Subject:__** T a y u y a o f t h e N o r t h G a t e**_

_Interest: __**J i n c h u u r i k i**_

_Bijuu: __**??? ( U n k n o w n )**_

_Village of Affiliation: __**O t o g a k u r e**_

_Gender: __**F e m a l e**_

_Age: __**1 4**_

_Birthdate: __**F e b r u a r y 1 5**_

He paid no attention to the fact that her birthday was the day after Valentine's Day.

_Blood Type: __**A**_

_Appearance:_

"Right…let's examine…" He told himself, shuffling himself closer to Tayuya. He would otherwise be much, _much_ less comfortable doing this than she would be watching him, he didn't care _who_ it was, but nonetheless, science called for things like this. He wanted a foolproof journal, and by Kami, he'd get one. First, the obvious traits.

"Subject is a young petite girl, slightly diminutive. Hair color red; eye color unknown. Always scowling in facial expression… Personality is questionably uncongenial and hostile; swearing should probably be noted as part of her everyday speech patterns and preference… (This'll be fun…) Clothing of choice seems to be tan-colored Sound elite garments including a long drape with the Yin and Yang insignia, wrapped leg bands, very darkly colored wristbands, and a thug's cap."

Now it was time to examine her body for unusual traits. He was actually told by one of the others (he can't remember who) that if there's a demon vessel, traits of that demon were given off as sort of a body alteration. Time to see if that's the case.

It was too dark to examine her eyes, so he automatically moved on to her teeth. Gently, he raised her mouth open by one side to get a look at her canines. He let out a small 'oohh' at the interesting sight of perfectly white, flawless sets of fangs resting just under her lips. He silently let go and made a brief addition to the journal, speaking out loud as he looked them over. "Subject's canine teeth appear to have elongated and tapered slightly, giving off the impression of fangs. Whether the monster's chakra has caused the calcium concentration going to her bones to increase or not is still unknown. Will resume discussion later…"

If the calcium concentration is indeed more significant, then that would mean that her endurance has increased by a sufficient proportion. He'll test the theory later. Painfully. For her.

Moving on, he didn't see any difference in her hair's coloration, unlike while she was transformed; her hair seemed to resume its normal color, although it was equally long as it had been when she underwent mutation. Nothing a small hair trim couldn't fix.

Reaching slowly under the sheet to avoid disturbing her, he felt around for her wrists, which was exceedingly difficult since he couldn't 'feel' anything, but nevertheless, he knew when he would grip around something slender to fit the bill.

With inadvertence in a BIG way, he ended up bumping her lightly on the way down near one of her more…private places. The girl let out a small groan, and Sasori's movements stiffened to a complete halt. Gritting his teeth in embarrassment, he mumbled "Ah, um…sorry…" before hesitantly continuing down, trying his best to go about as if nothing had happened. _'I feel like such a creeper… I hate it. I hate it.'_ Well, with some small loss of dignity needless to say, he had found what he was looking for, and he brought her arm up over the sheet to examine her hand. He searched along her fingers and noticed the unusually sharp fingernails on the tips. Dangerous things to have with her kind of personality, she could try to literally claw people's eyes out.

Letting her hand shuffle quietly under the warm sheets, he turned his way back to his notes and added, "Muscles have gone back to normal size, veins seem in place and intact, no damage done… Fingernails seem to resemble long claws, more than half expected since the unique Tailed Beast's Chakra alters physical characteristics just as normal chakra emanates from the mixture of energy present in every cell of the body as well as the spiritual energy that comes from exercise and experience."

Sasori wrote one last sentence extra bold with his pen to the paper.

_**-More info on this topic later-**_

The other details on the clipboard were minor ones like weight and height. Who really gives a shit about that? Normal humans grow over time, so in just a few months, that information should become completely outdated and irrelevant anyways. What he has will have to suffice, for now at least. But it held a very important spot in his journal. The information of the Tailed Beast that he himself would claim. Possibly the only one. It was just all in the matter of avoiding the snake.

Clamping his book shut and slipping it back into his pocket, he stood up, realizing now that he had the rest of the late night/early morning to get to do whatever. But what to do now? He would hate to think that waiting was an only option, so it would be best to think up the plan to go along with from here.

The negative, angry parts of his thoughts turned towards Kabuto, his loyal spy. He realized that he had brainwashed him with his lovely _Sennō__ Sōsa no Jutsu_ to keep tabs on his former partner, but the asswipe didn't have to go and completely blow everything by startling him away from Tayuya! That little smokescreen play of his might just be his last, depending on his real superior's mood. And right now, considering how fine and dandy everything has been going lately, Sasori was in a _pretty _foul mood.

'_Everything from the very last night I had fought this 'Tayuya of the North Gate' character, my spy was willing to jump in and save her, having no memory of his true master, and having the belief that he was actually working for Orochimaru… …Yakushi, you _idiot…_'_

He buried his face with his hand, dazzled in complete frustration. It was a flaw in the investigation technique. Kabuto had actually done something _useful_ for the person that Akatsuki _didn't_ want in the way. Fuck.

It seems that he would have to make some…exaggerations to the mission briefing that Deidara asks for when he beeps in, which he should in a moment or two. In order to brief a satisfying report, Sasori would have to recall the details from the point that he had fought, or practically 'played', with the demon girl to the point he was up to now. There were the strong points in his report, namely that he had successfully infiltrated the village…hopefully…and then the _weak_ points – being practically washed away from the goal by a ghost that turned out to be a prick underneath a white sheet. And if Deidara finds that the reason for the first failure was a flaw – a _FLAW_ involving both his own senior's technique _and_ subordinate, then what would Sasori be setting himself up for? The laughing stock of S – Rank proportion?? He would never be able to show his face again! And considering that he usually never did anyways, that was going to be taken to _some_ extremities!!

This was his last chance. He had to make everything right.

There was an outstanding chance of course that Orochimaru was already on to him. He was a traitor, but he wasn't a fool. The only thing he had ever done to indicate the like was leaving the organization without saying good-bye. Now it seems that Sasori had found himself in a tight spot, no matter how much he wanted to corner the snake in a tight spot of his own.

Sasori wasn't a fool either. He knew the risks. He knew Orochimaru. The Sannin _must_ know about his being here. Only playing 'nice guy' and the imposing puppeteer would bet his four expensive limbs that Kabuto was using the same gimmick. And he knew how Orochimaru liked to run his business. Letting someone, no matter how high of status, strut right into your village late at night wasn't the right key, and he knew that. In the morning, either of the two might come in and ask for papers indicating that Sasori was who he said he was. He was well prepared to handle that deal. And if anything else, the best plan was to sit back and wait in the same way that his old partner was supposedly doing. He didn't like it in the _least_, but he wasn't prepared to pick a _real_ fight with bright-eyes just yet. First he needed to incrementally finish all of his own experiments, and with a certain amount of time, and some amount of luck, he would become as strong as the top prodigy that Konoha once had is. Crimson-eyed Itachi. He could do research here as well; Sasori always did hold a liking to knocking out…more than two birds with one stone.

Silently, the bloody red figure swept across the dank floor in a mysterious glide, and ended up in the seat confronting Tayuya's bed.

He waited for several normal heartbeats, leering at her, his white eyes protruding vaguely from the dark, and then he spoke. "You…just look at you, all snug in that bed, devoid of any manner of self-caution – of worrying. …Yet you still have no idea what's waiting for you on the other side, just a small distance across a little tiny hospital room." He paused for a bit to stare steadily around at his bleak surroundings, rocking the plain-looking seat ever slightly. "You may not realize it…but you're a lucky kid. You could think to yourself all you want that this is a really lousy place to be taken into and treated for a hospital, but most of the jinchuuriki that I get spoken to about don't even get decent meals, decent places to sleep. They worry about things that you never even think about, and ironically, I find you in the arms of one of the coldest, cruelest shinobi in the world, high in the rankings of his infamous military, and well respected in this rathole that you yourself had called a village. Still a living though." He shrugged his shoulders.

Tayuya's face cringed a little bit, her peaceful demeanor uplifted slightly, but she didn't wake. The hooded young man in front of her clasped his hands together with one another in front of his mouth and leaned in forward, his eyes wide in his _dangerously_ serious expression.

"I'll let you in on a little secret about your 'Villages', Sound girl. You can't trust any of them. Ever. In fact, if there's a choice to make between every life in the Village that you grew up in or your own, you choose your own life, and you don't ever look back on that choice. …Do you understand why I say that?" He let the question silently sink in for a few moments, sitting cross-legged in his chair with his arms folded. "They shun you. They give up on you at the last minute they say they need you – which they do say to make you feel all nice and _special._ When you try to do something to help your beloved village, how does the Village help you?" His voice was getting sharper, almost growing more demanding for her to suddenly wake up, look him dead in the eye, and deliver her best answer. "They kill you. …Rather…they make you _wish_ that you were dead… But I found a way out. Pity that it was too late for you to have done the same. So here you are, safe in your quant little hospital, existing in the same world that you had always been, believing that you're safe; safe from me… With that in mind, it's amazing that I don't come and strangle you out of righteous fury for thinking such stupid things…but then again, I threw that emotion away a long time ago." He turned his head away from her in a somewhat mournful way. "…All I can do now is…to get angry enough to where it's just annoying."

He was no prince, but what he was telling her was something that even his fictional character would definitely be caught saying, so there was no danger as long as he didn't go out of line, and to top it all off – it was the truth. Even though she couldn't hear, he felt better just talking out loud about it – even if it was someone he barely knew. Regularly, he would never _ever_ open up to the closest friend he knew, but even if it was a complete stranger, it was alright, so long as they weren't aware, that is to say, dumb, unconscious, or dead. He wished he were more socially strong-suited, but not the case.

He would leave himself – alone with his thoughts in the darkness for awhile, but before that, he sent off one last message to the slumbering young girl.

"Come back and see me real soon. I'll be waiting for you when you wake up. It's not a habit I make, so please don't make a habit in return."

With all that he could do or think about already done or thought about, he continued sitting in the dark with his target, forced ironically, _yet_ again to do the most loathsome thing on the whole damn planet.

Nothing.

* * *

Tayuya was tossing and turning feverishly in her now sweat-soaked bed sheets. She was mumbling something illegible, but shot up with her eyes open, finishing off with a short, startled yell. She looked around her surroundings with wild eyes. She was in the middle of one black room. She pushed her sheets off of herself without even thinking about it and got up on her bare feet.

She was still in her hospital gown, white, stainless, but she still had no idea how the hell she got into it. That having been said, how in the _hell_ did she fall asleep? When? Or even _where?_

She went ahead and following the casual morning procedure to fix her long, red, partially messy hair, but for some reason, she didn't feel tired. She wasn't a morning person, so that was…odd. That's when she noticed the bandages wrapped around the top of her head, where she usually wore her cap. She felt the firm but silky surface of the medical gauze, and spotted some of the same wrappings layering the top of her chest too.

It didn't take her long to realize. That bastard assailant that crossed her the other day had to have been the one who gave her reason to wear this. Now she looked like a fucking cripple! That'll be the first thing she does when she found her way out of this pit and into good health again is to settle the score with that ugly prick…once she finds him again. She swore that much – she'd have time to think up the agonizing death he deserved later.

But for now, priorities. Where was she, and how would she find a way out?

She squinted to break the thick dark all around her. There was nothing – just bleak, bleak. There was no furniture, no windows, no door, no walls, no floor, not a damn thing.

A gentle breeze swept through the kunoichi's hair, whistling quietly, relaxingly. She put her hands to her bangs to keep them in place, and then she heard a voice, reaching out for her.

"_Look at you,"_ The voice said, bathed in shyness and innocence. It was some other young girl's voice, but it seemed to sound a lot like hers, minus the tough manner. Tayuya's face sprang to life, and she turned every corner that could possibly exist to look for an owner. _"You're growing up quickly…and you look so pretty."_ The voice giggled delicately, and Tayuya stared on.

"Who's there? Show yourself, you shitty coward!" She shot out, acting on her natural comportment.

There was silence stilled in the air. _"…Oh my,"_ The voice giggled playfully again, _"but you have such a dirty mouth. Is that how the pale man has been raising you? Oh, I see…"_

Tayuya was about to burst out again, but something hidden gently cut her off. _"Hush now. It isn't very nice to be flaunting a moment as great as this, for you see; this is the beginning of a brand new day."_

"A…a new day? Huh?" Who ever got so happy-go-cheery over a new day? _Waaaaaaay _too optimistic for her personal tastes. She just wanted to _possibly_ find the person whose voice that belonged to, and _most definitely_ find a way out of this dreary shithole. But suddenly, whoever was watching her from wherever, Tayuya got the sudden feeling that she was smiling at her.

"_I'm just glad that I got to be a part of it. No matter how tiny it is, I'm really happy. Really. But now you have an important matter to deal with, on the outside world."_

"Outside of _what_ world, creepy random bitch?" She tried impatiently.

"_Shhhh, I have to go now, but it was nice chatting with you…I suppose…"_ The hidden girl seemed a little unsure of her own statement, but apparently quickly shrugged over it and spoke happily, softly, politely again, _"_He_ is waiting for you, Tayuya, and so is the beginning of a new day, a new adventure, a new destiny…"_

A tiny orb of pure white light filled the space of the shadowy black void, and it quickly grew in size. Tayuya cringed at the brightness agitating her eyes, and she shut one of them in reaction. The light began consuming the endless room in its rays, becoming bigger and bigger and brighter and brighter, quickly embracing her whole body in no time at all.

"Wh-what's happening?? Answer me, whoever you are!!"

"_Eee hee hee…do play nice with _him_ when you meet up. …It's about time for revenge…my dear sweet sister."_

The light winked out of sight. So did Tayuya.

* * *

"Hah!" She shouted while shooting up from her hospital bed in a blaze. She gasped uncontrollably, feeling an unbearable cold sweat tumble over her. It felt like she had crawled out a furnace in Hell, partially deep-fried. She looked around for a minute and the first thing she saw was the medical machinery, beeping annoyingly on the side of her room. She looked up to see the once-malfunctioning light shine proudly over her head, giving herself a clear view of the whole hospital room. There were drapes lining up alongside the torn wall, mixed unhealthily with white, gray, and black. She took note of a lone, empty, white chair sitting in front of her bed, facing her. There was nobody else in here but her.

She set her eyes to the metal door leading to outside of what apparently was a hospital. The number _212_ was scratched into a metal slate nailed to the wall next to it.

She took several breaths to make her heavy breathing go down, and grasped the back of her neck for her Cursed Seal. It stung like a bitch. Wincing weakly before taking her hand away from it, she looked down at her lap, still wrapped in the clean sheets of the facility.

Her thoughts turned towards that voice that she had just heard. Apparently it was a dream, but a _freaky-ass_ dream, no less. It seemed pretty real, though. And that girl's voice seemed pretty real.

She stared quietly down in thought, not concentrating visually over anything in particular. _'It's about time for revenge…my dear sweet sister.'_

"Revenge… I don't have…a sister…" She reminded herself. "Ah, I have such a headache…" She added on in a pained mumble, massaged her temples with closed eyes. "I hope that this is _Oto's_ hospital…" For the sake of not burning to death, she tried her hand at removing some of the medical wrappings around herself, but immediately regretted doing so. "AH!! Ouch! Son of a _bitch,_ that stings!" She seethed out angrily through her teeth.

Turning her scowl towards the doorway again, she shouted, "Okay, if anyone's out there, get your asses in here! There's a patient about to fuckin' die of dehydration!!" She waited for several heartbeats for the door to burst asunder and a medical nin or two to come rushing in, fearing for their bones, but no one came through.

Not taking too kindly to being ignored, she growled silently and began to take off the sheet so that she could attempt to go find assistance herself. Honestly, a beeper or two to buzz in on wouldn't kill too badly. A little courtesy with the village's funds and maybe she'd be happier.

'_He is waiting for you, Tayuya…'_

"…Who is _'he'?_ …At least give me a _name_, for God's sake…"

Instantly, the door swung open and slammed shut, faster than she could snap her head around to see who it was.

Her face sprung alive in shock at a taller red cloak standing completely still, blocking the doorway. She started her observation from the feet slowly up the well kept apparel of red and gold kept on the inside of the cape, until she reached the unhooded face of a young man who only looked a few years older than herself, staring directly back at her through two deep-dark pupils, which never blinked. Instead, they drilled mercilessly into hers, and Tayuya briefly felt a small tingle coarse through her stomach. …Could be butterflies.

His hair was raven black, free in every possible way, and unkept. He smirked silently over at her in seeing that she was awake, and for two extremely long minutes, those two just continued staring each other down.

Tayuya's glare deepened when she started to get uncomfortable, but it only made the stranger's smile deepen with it.

"You're awake," the boy said in a sort of tone barely breaking the tension between them. He took another step forward, and then stopped again. "About time."

Tayuya felt a bit rattled, but she stood her ground and regarded him with the same look that she gave everybody. "You know, I really don't think a little bit of hospitality is too much to ask for, considering that this is supposed to be a _hospital._ And for your sake, you'd better be a staff member that I've just never seen before."

He clicked his head to the side, and then shook it. "Ah, nope. I'm a visitor." He confessed, leaning slightly forward. "…And you won't see many more of them with an attitude like that." He scolded innocently.

Tayuya didn't bat an eye to the advice. She didn't need any other visitors besides Orochimaru, her teammates, or even Kabuto if she was caught on a good day. But even so, she didn't require _them_, just the medics that kept up with her if she needed something essential, like say, water.

"Who says I wanna be visited? And visited by some random stranger I don't even _know?_ Pass. Now you've got about ten seconds to crawl your way back into the hole you poked out of, and get a nurse over here while you're at it."

Sasori wasn't about to get shoed out of here by some spoiled, ungrateful brat, but she did have a point.

"Usually when someone gives off the ten second warning, there's a threat neatly placed after it."

"…Or I'll lop your seam off, sprinkle it with extra-spicy soy sauce, and serve it to every hungry dog on the street while making you watch."

He gave her an awkward smile, rubbing the back of his head. "Ah, there it was. I feel like we're becoming friends already."

"Cut the chatter. Get out now, because that wasn't only a threat, it's a possibility – and I'm in _such_ a _bad_ mood right now, that that possibility is about to become a reality."

Her mysterious visitor didn't even flinch. "That's okay. I didn't feel like making small talk with you anyways, so let's get right to the point. My name is –"

Tayuya cut him off by jumping up from the bed, and taking a kunai out from behind the table right next to her. She brandished it in her hand, grasping the handle firmly and confidently.

She smiled sadistically at him while she charged the door. "Warned ya, dipshit! There's a border, and you just crossed over!"

Sasori's eyes widened. "Where did you get that??"

"Ack!" The slender knife clang to the tiled floor, and the young girl fell to her knees gripping her sides in aching pain. While she kept there, a shadow moved in over the tiny ninja tool and silently picked up by the looped end with two fingers. He loomed over her weakened form, dabbing the tip of the blade with an unimpressed look.

"Looks like you're too wounded to fight, after all. That's too bad. Charging aimlessly at me in your hospital gown holding such a pig-sticker of a blade, I couldn't help but wonder how that brilliant little charade would work out for you."

Tayuya was silent. Grasping the ground with one hand, she didn't move very much, besides her obvious panting.

Sasori walked closer until he was right in front of her. Then he crouched until he was about eye-level. "Now are you going to let me finish my introduction, or am I going to have to –"

Tayuya spun to life in the blink of an eye and threw a fierce kick to his shin, and then a follow up against his torso. Well, it didn't necessarily manage to _hurt_ Sasori, but it definitely made him rumble in his wooden suit a little.

The hotheaded girl did an acrobatic over him, using his back as a supporting leg, and she flipped over behind him, picking up the knife that he dropped out of surprise.

"First move is always a fake," she announced to her adversary. The crimson stranger in front of her had his back hung down, wide open for a finishing move. She pulled her arm back with the blade on it, and prepared to rip his spinal cord. "You idiot!!" She threw it forward, and it whistled through the air to the red silks, but suddenly stopped.

She grunted in shock at the hand that had effortlessly caught her wrist before she could make the finisher, and she saw that even though it was indeed the stranger, he still wasn't even facing her. His upper half was still bent over and hanging down, but his arm almost seemed to act on its own accord, and somehow, he stopped her.

"How?!" She stammered, but still attempted to wedge the metal stake into him.

"It's as you said, the first move _is_ a fake, and making it look like you actually succeeded in faltering my move _was_ my first move." Effortlessly he squeezed down on her partially bandaged, already injured wrist, and the kunai knife fell to the floor once again. "Back to square one, Sound girl." His expression deadpanned on serious. "Will there be anything else?"

Her pupils shrunk in realization. _Sound girl._ She had heard that name from somebody before; somebody she hated. But why does it seem like such a long time ago?! She couldn't forget it! No! Fuck! She couldn't remember! Who called her by that name? Someone that she argued with? Someone that she fought? Who??

She was spacing out in front of Sasori, who still had his grip on her wrist, not letting his gaze settle for a minute.

"That name…" Her pupils were quivering with inner struggle. "I've heard someone call me that name before…"

"Indeed? And how, may I ask, would that information be relevant to you in this particular situation? You're being attacked right now, _Tayuya of the North Gate_, you should do something."

"No, no…" Her eyes were suddenly filled with enlightenment. "I've only been called that name by one other person…but now…" She clutched her head with her usable hand in pain. "…I can't remember who! But I know that it was somebody important… Somebody that needs killing… And for all I know…" Suddenly, she forgot all about the pain in her wrist, and she jumped forward with every charge of her instinct, slamming against her opponent with all of her might. "That person could be _you!!_"

"Ooph!"

The bit of strength that she had left took Sasori by surprise, and with that miscalculation, he was knocked off of his feet and tumbled onto the bed, Tayuya inadvertently following behind him into it.

The room became silent after the coupled sound of simultaneous grunts, and the metal door slowly creaked open. The first person who stepped in was quickly revealed to be Yakushi Kabuto, followed by his superior and everyone else's, Orochimaru.

The Snake Sannin and medical nin both casually walked into the room, and froze completely still, wide-eyed in expression at the incredibly misleading position they had caught both kids in.

On the bed, the two lay entangled with each other, flat out on the mattress, the sheets and pillow sprawled everywhere. Feathers were drifting in the air.

Tayuya was in a daze. Having a crash collision in such a beaten body after just waking up in a cold sweat was not her idea of taking it nice and easy.

She was lying on top of a very knackered Sasori, who, if he still had the function, would probably be blushing right now. But he didn't, and such a feeling was meaningless to him, so he went ahead and pushed her off of his chest before sitting up. He made an indifferent glance to the exchanged glances coming off of the two ninja in front of him, and just went on saying, "I don't like it," he spoke mournfully, getting up off of the bed, leaving Tayuya to recuperate on her own. "But in a world where timing is in my favor and misunderstandings don't ever occur, I _just_ don't seem to belong."

Kabuto instantly flashed him another amused look. "Well I knew that you would start up a relationship with someone sooner or later, but _this…?_ And with Tayuya?"

"Yes, what can I say." Okudo replied, using the most robotic voice he ever had. "'It-all-happened-so-fast.' By the way, you missed out on the best part. If you had come just a minute sooner, you would have seen a mentally insane kunoichi spring up from out of her coma, rush me with a lethal weapon, and try to take my spine for a trophy. But hey, I guess in a world where timing is in _everyone's_ favor, _no one_ seems to belong, right?"

The medical ninja adjusted his glasses, reflecting some of the light in the lenses. "Hm-hm. I see. Well, I did warn you about that. She's not exactly 'lady-material'…"

While Tayuya got up to scowl at the two scientists now casually speaking to each other, the Snake Sannin watched the conversation from under his bandaged mask with more enjoyment than he remembered in a long time. It was not uncommon for misunderstandings like this to happen, but for some reason, he found extra pleasure watching this happen to a mysterious, independent fallen prince.

"You!! You fucking _chikan!!_ You touched me, didn't you?!" She screamed furiously at the red figure closest to her.

He snapped his head at her in outrage to her accusing statements. This wasn't happening to him. Nuh-uh. Not to him. "Easy. I did no such thing to you, would never want to or even think about, and then besides, you attacked _me._ Show me the logic in covering your own action up with an absurd accusation like that."

"Tayuya, shut your mouth." Kabuto commanded with a low tone, facing her from the side without any intent to back down. She begrudgingly did as she was told, regarding them both with a frozen glare.

Seeing that the angry redhead was put back in line, he looked back at the crimson prince. "Guess it's my fault, then. Still, are we going to have any more problems, Okudo-kun?"

He looked at him lazily. "No, no…of course not." _'Orphan.'_ "Still, all I was trying to do was introduce myself to her. After all, isn't that what a gentleman does?"

"Hm…he appears to be telling the truth, Kabuto." Orochimaru stated, bringing the temperature down ten degrees with his voice. "I can tell when someone's lying just by examining their pose."

Kabuto raised his eyebrows. "I have no idea how that kunai got in there. Maybe it was one of the staff members playing another joke…"

"A joke? Really now, Kabuto. Leaving weapons with potentially dangerous individuals isn't that a little…"

"Funny? I guess so. After all, it happened on your first day. Now are we done here, or would you like to give your affections to Tayuya one last time?" He cooed teasingly.

The redheaded girl instantly turned and cringed with disgust at both of them. Sasori calmly read her expression and turned back to his spy to bitterly joke, "Give me a few trips through the iron maiden down the hall to think about it." Then he walked near the doorway, preparing to leave, but he cut himself short, remembering something. "Ah. Kabuto. I almost forgot, you and Orochimaru-_sssssssssama…_" he struggled with all his might to make the name come out. Everyone raised an eyebrow. "You two wanted to see official documentations, didn't you?"

Both of them smiled back, one of which was unreadable, but the flash in his slit, golden eye spelled enough. "Bingo," Kabuto proclaimed, giving him a small wink. "Pretty sharp there. You were that close to stepping out of the room without clearance. Now what would we have done about _that,_ I wonder?"

'Okudo' knew all too well. Maybe the two had really forgotten who it was they were dealing with.

Kabuto held out his hand. "Give 'em here." In a quick flash, Okudo pulled out a bundle of files out from his robes and dropped them in his underling's hand.

"Let me know if there's anything missing. I need to go make my new home now."

The ninja looked up at him from scanning over the papers curiously. "You _can_ be assigned to a dorm. You know that, right?"

Sasori turned his gaze from Kabuto to Tayuya, looking right back at him. She narrowed her eyes; he narrowed his. "Thanks, but I'll pass. I prefer sleeping alone. Much quieter. Speaking of which, Orochimaru," the Snake Sannin looked over at him. "I couldn't help but notice an old house near the wilderness on the way in. Can I purchase a small bit of the land to make my home?"

"Interesting," he hissed, "being such a noble prince, I would think that you would be asking for a bit more than that."

"Well, I'm a bit spoiled, but you didn't honestly make that your _first_ impression, did you?" He joked.

"…Hmmmm…very well… But you shouldn't take me for a realtor as _your_ first impression either. I see that you're new to the procedure of finding your own home."

Everyone heard Tayuya scoff at the notion.

Okudo's eyes shot over to meet with hers. Their eyes locked again, and Sasori couldn't help but smirk at how much this little girl seemed to be testing his patience. "You're right," he said, without taking his unfazed eyes off. "…I'll figure it out."

With that, he silently turned and made his way towards the door. "It was really nice meeting everybody. That's enough meeting for today, though." He arched his arm out into a stiff wave without looking back, "Until later, Orochimaru-sama… Kabuto…" He continued shrinking into the distance. Halfway through the doorframe, he stopped to peer over his shoulder at the girl he had tracked down only a manner of hours ago. He knew how much she liked _this_ name. "…Sound girl. I'll be seeing you again. …Get well soon."

She sneered at his obviously false empathy.

With that, he vanished; out of the lit room, and into the dark hallway dancing with shapeless silhouettes.

Kabuto crossed his arms neatly and adjusted his spectacles one last time. The most brilliant, entertaining idea that he had hatched in possibly months had come to him on swift wings. There was no better way to have people meet each other's points of view than what came to mind right now. He would enjoy seeing how it would turn out in a couple of weeks, gently cruising down one direction, or crashing down the other.

"Just who was that bastard?" Tayuya spoke up, feeling a bit left out from the conversation.

"Oh him?" Kabuto slowly turned to meet up with her, which she didn't appreciate, to say the least. "I'm so glad you asked, Taya-chan! That boy you saw just a moment ago was Juuman' Okudo. I would tell you more about him, but I get the feeling that you'll have _plenty_ of time to ask him yourself."

Her face got pale real quick. "No. Kabuto. _No._ Don't…get _near_ the _urge_ to even _think_ about it!"

"Oh-ho-ho!" He cackled with tension, "I did! And I'm taking it a step further!" He smiled back at Orochimaru, who, in his silverish robe, returned that smile with a hidden one of his own. Turning back to the girl shivering in the cold, Kabuto swept his arm straight out to the side and announced,

"Meet your new teammate!! From here on, you two are gonna be _partners._"


	14. Moving In

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

**Chapter 12: Moving In**

The blood-red artist stepped through the unsanitary wet soil of the main mud road that ran through Oto. The village looked as devoid as when he had arrived, if even less lively. He rolled his eyes in chagrin, knowing just through his awareness as a man appointed within an extraordinary class of people could possibly know about being watched from hidden places. These inhabitants were already circling his last inch of nerve in terms of simply not understanding what their own business was.

Stepping through the wastes of what could be considered a town that had just seen the end of the bubonic plague; he cringed in a look to show what he thought of the unsanitary place. Whatever the pale man was funding for, it sure as hell wasn't for his denizens.

Sasori stopped briefly to peer at a middle-aged woman silently running her market and hesitantly began to raise his arm in an attempted wave of courtesy, but upon seeing her face scowling unwelcomingly at him, the gesture immediately turned into a half-hearted run of the fingers through his artificially black bed of hair.

He was so puzzled by this conflict that his mind almost went completely blank. Women. Always so approachable.

His cape drifted ever so silently in the wind as he rounded corner after cracked corner of the metal framework buildings, trying his best to tread over the spots where wet soil was the most absent. He hated getting muddy. He could stand dust; he grew up in a desert of course, but the harsh conditions that came with foreign country he could have always done without ever knowing.

Stepping forward towards the boarder of Orochimaru's village, he spotted a group of trees – some withered, some not – and he then spotted the old vacant apartment building that had caught his eye on the way in. With the Snake Sannin's permission (he guessed but didn't really care), it was now time to observe the price tag of this desolate house. He had hoped it wasn't too costly – it certainly didn't look it.

The whole shape in general suggested that the thing appeared to have just survived the attack of a hundred-headed hurricane. The gray metal roof was ruffled, cracked, and dented; some of the shingles were missing. The sides of each wall were splotched with dirt-color mixtures of corrosion and tarnish. In addition to the nauseating sight, many strands of moss stuck their ugly green tongues at the puppeteer from their narrow homes in the large creases and cracks. The big metal doorway was literally on its last hinge, and all of the windows were smashed in by what evidently appeared to be works of vandalism. The previous landlord of this property clearly had the decency to put only a couple of these things out of their humiliation by boarding them up.

Sasori glanced over his shoulder carefully before opening up his cape and unlatching a compartment he kept safely concealed under his gauze cloth. Rummaging with a careful hand through the small compartment carved in his torso that he stashed his wealth in, it had come to his attention that he had only brought a few million or so yen along with him, and he never bothered remembering if his former senior looked towards money in that same regard Kakuzu always did. Depending on which or what set of circumstances, this could be tricky.

Nevertheless, Sasori was adept at managing his finances, although he really hadn't pushed himself to so much as go clothes shopping before, so aside from the organization's trademark uniform, he had traditionally sewn his own apparel. He had traditionally done everything for himself, and he never called upon another human being to replace him in that respect.

Confidence reassured, he glided with a firm stride up to the rickety sign that announced the price to would-be buyers.

His eyes narrowed with dismay at the price, _175,000 yen._ He also glanced over the other variables in the payment. It said in smaller font below that it had an eight percent rate on a fifteen-year loan. As he had feared, the price was already looking ugly, and he hadn't even gotten started on the math yet. Guess any greedy man in the area would be looking to make a fast profit. Too bad that whoever it was, they tangled with the wrong merchant today.

He stuck his index finger out in front of him and drew imaginary equations as he calculated the numbers in his head. He was no Albert Einstein, but he _was_ a chemist. Numbers, numbers, numbers. It had its flings.

The first thing that he had to do was look at the mortgage. Six and a half percent for fifteen years… that meant that he would be looking at 9.56 yen covering monthly principal and interest payments, only approximately, because the table that Sasori was using in his head was only based off of the system of monthly pay negotiated at Suna. Thankfully, according to one of the Fire Country's laws, it wasn't legal to weave a value in each province that receded or exceeded three yen than all the others. He knew that even Mister 'Otokage' had to honor and obey that law, or his village might fall on top of itself.

Continuing, Sasori plugged the 9.56 yen into the equation 175(representing the number of thousands for the whole shebang) x 9.56.

After a moment of pushes and pulls, Sasori came up with the answer of 1,673 yen. Alright, that covered one part of the monthly pay, the total principal and interest.

While he stored that answer away, he concentrated on his next: finding the monthly taxes. It was the value of the home multiplied by .012…which equuaaaaaalllls…ah crap. Time to start writing work.

Sasori grabbed some sizeable stick that had snapped off of a nearby tree and carved the equation into a mud puddle somewhere around. _175,000 x .012_ except the numbers were layered over each other in long multiplication-solving format. The answer was 2,100 yen. Divide by twelve – for every month in the year. That's 175. The tax pay. He also took it upon himself to write in the principal and insurance part of the deal so he wouldn't have to forget.

Now the final part: the insurance. Sasori always used the famous half percent in this little equation. He went ahead and carved in the space allowed to him on the earth bed, _175,000 x .005._ Equals 875. Now divide by twelve. 72.92 yen. Finally the pain was almost over with.

Now came the fruitful, most crucial part of the whole deal: throwing it all together.

He looked over his list.

_P & I = 1673_

_T = 175_

_Ins. = 72.92_

His eyes dilated slowly with anticipation. _'And,'_ this was it. _'The total monthly pay on this house IS---!!!'_

With the suddenness of an atomic bomb, all of the beautiful work that Sasori had done on the ground exploded into chunks of earth that went flying onto him, making him shoot up straight in a buzz of motion. When he wiped the grime out of his eyes, his nose crinkled in fury at the sight of the red-haired girl that had laid waste to his time with her own body.

As he stood in a moment of absolute speechlessness, she lay dumbfounded on the ground, having left a big track leading from where she was up to where she must have lost her footing and slipped through the muck. She was half completely covered in the filth of the inadvertent entrance she had made, and she eventually got up in a flush, rubbing her now-aching rear. Her face was almost completely clean of mud, except for the occasionally small splatter.

"Who." Sasori seethed under the locks of self-restraint from strangling this girl with her own entrails. "Are you."

Her expression shot alive at this, and she bent down quickly to search for her glasses. When she picked them up, she gave a frown at the fact that one of the lenses was missing, and the other one that was otherwise intact was completely covered in dirt.

"Awwwww! That one was my favorite pair!" She whined in a pout.

Although not instantly, Sasori had managed to deduce that this girl was not the one called Tayuya. His latest opponent was hasty and clumsy from what he saw, but not quite this much of a klutz. Especially for a ninja.

"Me? Well I-!" She gave up searching for the remaining spectacle's partner, and she put her glasses on anyway, now looking like she was wearing an eye-patch with the messed up condition. She struck a pose to the stranger. "I'm Karin!" She declared flashily, like it was legend-worthy of praise.

She held that confident pose for half a minute as Okudo looked her over with a shaded face of contempt. Before she knew it, there were dark black fires rising around him resembling Itachi's infamous Amaterasu technique.

Sasori…was upset.

Before she could even catch the lethal intent as the red (now with spots of black and brown) figure strode up to meet her, she was firmly seized by the throat by a merciless hand and again dragged across the mud on her knees to meet up with a pair of frozen black eyes.

In spite of being threatened in such a way, Karin found herself blushing in streaks. Instantly the world around her froze except for him, and beautiful cherry blossom petals danced around the two of them in a miracle wonderland. The weight of the world seeped from existence, and she felt that she could do anything looking at those black, shining spheres leading to the soul of the young god in front of her. _'What beautiful eyes…'_

"Do you have any idea WHAT YOU HAVE DONE???" He shook her profusely, roughly snapping her out of her wonderland and back to reality. "I don't suppose _you_ would know what the answer was, hah."

"Ah-! G-get off of me! I dunnooooo!"

He broke his grip at once, letting her fall into the mud again. He rolled his head in his hands with more frustration accumulated than there had been in a very long time.

"You women! I swear you're only around to annoy us men! And I know, because all of you managed to join hands and pitch in and give me a very, very bad day!"

The girl blinked several times at the violent seizure Sasori was going through with his gestures. She got up. "I hear you're new here. Actually just by looking at you, I can pretty much tell."

He stopped and turned back to her with fire in his eyes. "Can you _also_ tell that I don't wish to be disturbed at the moment? Or did you need glasses to see that after all?"

"Well I, uh…" She hadn't exactly come prepared with an answer for a question like that. How was she to possibly know she would slip while she was running out to him? It's not like it was completely _her_ fault. It frustrated her, because she didn't know the guy she would be visiting would have so many anger issues attached to him. She did her best to ignore his aggression, and proclaimed. "I'm an apprentice of the warden of the North Base. I'm already considered a high and admirable ranking especially for my age by most standard officers, so…" She struggled to keep her balance. "So you better show me some respect!" She shouted defiantly.

He crossed his arms with the lazy look that made him famous around Deidara.

"As…as my first duty as an officer, it's with great pride and pleasure that I test you if you're gonna be with Orochimaru-sama's battalion. That creep Kabuto tells me that you already know some basics. I wanna see exactly _what_ you're made out of." She assumed her most aggressive taijutsu stance.

To this, Sasori replied solemnly and with a hint of humor, "There _is_ such a thing as police brutality."

She flashed him a sport look without breaking the stance. "I am the law. Don't worry; I give you my word that the injuries you sustain from this fight won't hold you back for more than a couple of days." She charged him. "Fight meeeeeeee!"

Without blinking or uncrossing his arms, the puppet master took the girl off of her flight merely by flicking the tip of his finger to pull a tripwire routine across her tread.

This time, however, she didn't land in mud, but along the stony floor marking the ancient patio of the home Sasori was planning to purchase. He smirked cruelly at her misfortune.

She shot back up in a wobble and instantly caught on with her perceptive chakra-detecting abilities. With an elaborate expression, she spat out her discovery. "You use _chakra stings??!_"

He was silent for a while, and then answered indifferently, "What are chakra strings?"

Her spirits dropped. Her abilities also gave her the power to detect lies based on the stimulation of other people's flow of chakra, but there was no such indication that this boy appeared to be lying. In question of her own abilities, she worriedly dabbed her lip with her thumb in thought before her opponent interrupted her.

"What? Is that it? What's that you were saying: that you were going to put me in a hospital?" He motioned her forward with a slight motion of his fingertips. As was to be expected, this egged the young girl on, and he chuckled with the ease.

"Y-You arrogant baka…I said fight!" She ran up to him once more, and this time, Sasori made no indication that he would use his threads again. He had more than just collected that this girl can sense even slightest bursts of chakra, and if word of his ability got out, his origination would be obvious, and he didn't want that to be found out.

Giving her the benefit of the doubt, he allowed her to stray approximately three meters short of himself before throwing a sweep kick to knock her off her feet in the old fashion way. But the girl didn't appear to be entirely stupid, it seemed. She jumped the maneuver just fine, and came down with a graceful mid-air flip-kick. He blocked her foot with his wrist and cast her entire body away with ease. She somersaulted and came back in for more.

She thrust her fist at him a few times, and he parried along in a kind of rhythm. The two locked together in a close grapple, and since Sasori was the bigger of the two, guess how that got resolved.

He cunningly snuck a leg in between both of hers and yanked it off to the side to take one of them violently off the ground. In the flash instant where she now had to balance on one foot, he easily spun himself around a full three-sixty and kicked the other leg too. Her face hit the ground hard.

Where she lay motionless, he knelt down beside her, picked her up by her long, red hair and announced, "If you are the law, I'm the most notorious criminal that history has and ever will have on record. That's for facts."

Her body instantly evaporated into a large, rounded log. His eyes widened. "A Substitution?"

His head shot up in time to catch her coming down on him. He took off as she landed, but she managed a cheap kick out of his back as he did so. He staggered periodically, and then when he regained ground, froze quietly without bothering to turn to her.

"I don't have time to do dance with some pathetic little girl," he commented. "I think I'll end this fight on my terms."

He picked up a tiny rock and tossed it over his shoulder at her. She half-heartedly dodged it and looked at its direction to make sure it would _stay_ a rock. Then she smirked and rolled her eyes as she turned back to him while saying, "Oh, please. Is this what you blue-blooded royal flavors call ending a fi—" Her opponent was gone. Her grin quickly dimmed into an outraged scowl. Her amusement turned deadly. "Oh NOW you've pissed me! Running away from this so-called little girl makes you automatically win, hah? Ha!" Her echo projected her fury to the sky. She began her search for him in a flush. "Come back here and face me, you…you!" A blade-chinking sound made her drop her words.

"I've heard enough." The voice was right behind her. Okudo slid the wristblade he kept concealed under his sleeve along her neck, barely pressing its venomous razor edge against her jugular vein and her windpipe. "I think I hear the warden calling you. You better go back and explain how you failed to take down a new recruit." He took the blade away. He would kill her sometime. Oh, most definitely he would. But not now.

Karin's usually calm and well-balanced heart now shook with small fear combined with welling admiration. _'He's sooo…potent.'_ Her inner thoughts cooed dreamily. _'I'll bet he could end hundreds…'_ But she snapped herself loose before her more girly side got the best of her, and she adjusted her classes with maturity. "G-Good fight, Juuman'-kun. Maybe you'll survive around here a bit longer than I thought." She took a few steps away before looking over her shoulder with a flirtatious face and departing in a body of smoke. "…Not! You better watch out for my warden. She's not as nice as me. See ya~!"

He made quick work of his first impression towards Karin.

"Tch…bitch."

It was one thing to get challenged by a kid from out of nowhere, but nobody in the history of the world had ever gotten out of disrupting Sasori while he worked on something. It was an intolerable act, and that it was a girl bearing a similarity to that jinchuuriki, Tayuya, he would not forget this.

He trekked over to the spot she had just disappeared from and knelt to pick up an object he spotted. Closely examining, he saw that it was the ruined pair of glasses she wore.

"She dropped her glasses as she left… that idiot."

Again he heard someone poof in from a smokescreen behind him. He looked to his side. It was Kabuto again. Smiling with the amusement he had since before the day started, he took small notice in the object that Sasori was now holding.

"I would wager that Karin was in quite the rush to get away. She never leaves her glasses behind. Or it could be just that she likes you and wants you to have something to remember her by."

"Either way, this garbled pair of spectacles is the prize I claim over a meager victory. …I was hoping she would stick around so that I could have finished killing her out of defense."

"Aaah don't mind Karin. She's a tough girl, but she's also a flirt." He took a moment to scoff. "A guy as good-looking as you should keep a wary eye out. Most of the girls here are dangerous to even know."

Sasori threw his head back and whistled stiffly to the sky. "I'll bet." He said to it. "In the two hours I've been here, I've already had two attempts on my life by the red-haired kind. But it's pointless to fuss over that matter. I probably just need to get used to being in danger now that I'm working under such a…prestigious village."

Kabuto smiled. "I wouldn't be saying that it's pointless, persé. I've got something fun to tell you." He sang in anticipation.

The usually redheaded corpse collector froze. Kabuto had been his subordinate for years. He had known Kabuto well enough to know his humor. And it was _never_ good to hear Kabuto say the sentence 'I've got something fun to tell you'. Sasori had personally trained himself to be on guard for that special little tidbit.

He straightened himself up and prepared for something ugly. "Whaaaaat." It came out as a croak.

Orochimaru's beta leaned in for the critical point. "You have a new partner."

The false prince gave his former underling a look through a keen eye.

* * *

Naruto was tossing and turning in the confinement of his sheets until his eyes blurred open at the sound of a bluebird's call. He rubbed his eyes lazily while they groggily rummaged about for clues in where he was. It didn't take a genius to realize he was no longer in his comfortable orange jumpsuit. No, rather he was in a short-sleeved T-shirt, and lighter than he was accustomed to feeling.

Blends of white and colors within them came up. Then the shapes began to refine themselves. He put the whirring machinery and the medicines on the table together and deduced one thing. Konoha Hospital.

Delight it would be, to put up with the constant nags and bickers from the nurses, especially Shizune and her scary superior. Like hell.

He turned and twisted under the clean white sheets and found that moving around really sucked a lot, so it seemed like he was pinned for the moment. The trick would be figuring out how he got put in a hospital. With melancholy, the last thing he remembered was fighting Sasuke; but he didn't remember losing.

He held his aching bandaged head in time to see a big familiar man with long white hair standing just outside his window, nearly scaring the crap out of him with the sudden burst of his appearance.

"Rise and shine, Nara wannabe!" He called out in a tease. Naruto saw the basket of fresh shining fruits that he carried in his hand. "You woke up faster than all of us thought! If I hadn't come here so early, you would've run off before any of the nurses found out you had come to."

"Ero-sennin."

The older ninja just flashed him a big smile and made himself nice and cozy on the windowsill. Taking an apple out of the basket, he juggled it with his hand while he continued speaking. "Come to think of it, it's a miracle you're still with your two legs. Konoha has been in a real frisk trying to bring you back from your mission." He stopped tossing the fruit up for a moment, catching it in his hand and leaning in over a knee, "Did you realize you were that important? Betcha didn't." He prepared to bite into one of the very gifts that was originally for the boy in front of him, but he was cut off by a question.

"What about…Sasuke?"

The Sannin rolled his eyes. As if this wasn't the first thing he could've imagined coming out of the annoying kid's mouth. It was truth-telling time.

"Look, kid…Sasuke…isn't one of us anymore, Naruto." He watched without much more emotion as the sky-blue eyes opened up wide in failure to understand. Jiraiya saw this coming too. "Before you start to talk, you ought to know who it was that put you in this hospital. Not brought you here. _Put_ you here. And it's a hard thing to accept, I know, but that boy would've left you all on your own out there, and the cold of the storm might've done you in… Or something worse. …Spare me some trouble and use your imagination."

The blond-hair's face contorted into an outraged scowl. "So you just let him go??!! You should've ignored me and finished the mission! What the hell are all the grown-ups thinking, Ero-sennin?!"

"It would do me a lesser headache if you could stop calling me that! Don't you get it?! There was nothing that _could_ have been done! Sasuke isn't coming to his senses! Trust me. And there's evidence to support that, do you care to hear more?"

Naruto shot up from his bed to face his sensei square in the eye. There was no way that he would let a thing like that pass about Sasuke. "You're the legendary Toad Sannin! You could _too_ have done something!"

"Then _listen up!!!_" He quickly shot back at him in easily double the volume that Naruto's annoying voice did. The boy instantly hushed up with a look of shock. Seeing the old man like this really reminded him a lot of how Tsunade would act in his place. "And you listen well, kid." He pointed at him with displeasure towards his waking attitude. His pupil could only swallow. And obey. "I've followed your progress, as your teacher. I've seen the noble intentions that you've had towards other people – complete strangers – and how you successfully carry out those noble intentions. You have a gift unlike anyone else I've known for a long time, and that very gift is making friends with whoever you meet, wherever your mission takes you. It's an admirable thing, I get it." His student lowered his head in thought. "But Naruto…you tried, and this time, you failed. Failure happens. There're just some people in this world that can't be convinced to simply put aside their ways for the sake of what you believe. You knew there had to be at least one of these times. Now's the hardest part of the resolution. Just accepting it."

"But you—!"

He held up his hand to silence Naruto again so he could finish. "I'm not saying this to put you down. I'm saying this to build you back up even stronger than you were before. Not everyone can be saved; we each have to go our own way." He frowned facing out the window with his arms crossed and back to the sill. He mumbled, "And for Sasuke…I suppose his path…was just too different from ours."

Naruto wouldn't be silent any longer. "You think my path is the same as yours?!"

Jiraiya snapped his head back to him. "Isn't it??"

"How could I be on the same path as a guy who threw in the towel before the fat lady sang?"

His mentor heaved a great sigh. "What are you babbling about _now_, brat?"

"This mission isn't over. Oh no. It's just firing up. We lost round one, even someone as stubborn as either of us can admit it…but Sasuke was my friend, and I strongly believe that hasn't changed."

"Idiot! Consider all of those injuries he gave you! Was that the work of a friend?"

Naruto fell silent for a second time. _Damn_ this was a difficult argument to win. Didn't even this pervert have any dilemma similar to the one he had to face? It was a wonder.

Jiraiya looked away from him and crossed his arms again. Someone had to have this conversation with him. He hated that it was himself, but it certainly wasn't going to be Kakashi. Because this wasn't just Orochimaru. It had just turned into something far uglier.

"Naruto…" He rubbed his eyes wearily. "The matter at hand here…doesn't just concern returning a Leaf comrade. If that were the case, who knows, maybe the end result of the mission would've gone in a different direction. But if the Hokage could've opened her eyes in time to see what was chasing after you kids, she would've slapped this up as an S – Rank over a B – Rank mission in a _heartbeat._ She thinks the world of you, and frankly, you're lucky for it. Still, no village in their right minds would send a chunin and a handful of genin off against…" His voice trailed off. Was it too early to tell him about the hand in the world that has the will, power, and intent to do him such harm?

Naruto caught glimpse of the hard time that Jiraiya was having with it at the moment, so he leaned intently forward evermore and called out, "Ero-sennin." His old teacher hung his head slowly and peaked at him from over his shoulder. "…What exactly are we fighting?"

The Toad Sannin stared at him for a long time. He pitied this, but he wanted a chance to warn Naruto before Tsunade came in first. He would rather protect his young and mouthy student from being killed by the criminals before he had Tsunade kill _him._

"Naruto," He stepped forward in his high sandals, "I think it's time that someone told you about the darkness in the shinobi world. About what exactly what we're dealing with right now, right this very moment." Naruto nodded firmly. He was ready to hear it.

Jiraiya drew his breath and spoke once more. "I think it's time someone told you about the Akatsuki."

* * *

"I'm sorry, my ears must be broken." Sasori spoke as he made his fifteenth pace across his lawn with Kabuto standing on it. "You said _who_ was going to be this new partner?"

"Aheh…now, now… I'm sure she'd make a beautiful soldier to work alongside. Think about the pros. She's tough. Capable. She's been training harder than anyone in this village since she first came here as an orphan. I know she has a history of temper tantrums, and I'm sure you've deduced it yourself, but you should at least give her a chance, and see what—"

"Fine."

Kabuto froze. He turned and looked at the village's latest addition, seeing Sasori with his arms crossed, his face still, patient, and nonchalant. He was let down a little by how easy the new guy seemed to be taking this arrangement, given the attitude shown towards the foul-mouthed girl beforehand, and just his overall expectation on how entertaining he would have been to watch the prince vent over it. "What?"

"I said fine. I don't look for preferences in people who fight alongside me – I haven't had anyone around for that purpose before. If the girl will be your first choice for me to work with, then by Orochimaru's good graces, I'll tolerate her."

"But not a moment ago, you seemed to—"

"I don't like Tayuya of the North Gate." He snapped his head to stare at an invisible object to his side. "I really don't. I said I'd _tolerate_ her. But if we get in a fight – a _real_ fight, I mind you, Kabuto…" He was building up a warning with as much seriousness as he had ever felt, "You'll understand my desire to…decommission her."

The younger boy flung both of his arms up in the gesture that normally indicates surrender, but his face said not so. "Fair, fair… If you can snap her before she snaps you, that'll be impressive in itself. But I can't say I won't be expecting one fight out of you two." He knew the fact so blatantly that it almost tickled him to death. A newbie against _Tayuya?_ One of the elite ninjas, and a host of Orochimaru's seal? A rabbit stood a better chance against a bear. How long would he survive, he wondered.

"Admirable." The usually red-haired artist announced. "You really know how to think ahead."

"Well hey," he shrugged, "when the world around you makes it easy, then it's easy."

Both of them turned towards the mansion-sized house that was destined to become Sasori's soon. Kabuto, knowing very well what he was thinking, finally turned towards him and announced, "Nineteen-hundred and twenty-one."

Sasori turned his head to him with raised eyebrows. "Pardon?"

"That's your monthly tally. What's wrong? You seem disappointed."

"Of course I am. With a hovel like this…" He huffed. "…Where's the landlord? …I want to speak with him."

"Why he's dead." The nonchalant (not to mention cheerful) way Kabuto said this made Sasori know for a fact that he didn't personally care of the disposal of others any more than he himself did. "Casualties, I'm afraid. We have 'em. But I'll gladly collect the pay as a substitute!"

"…" The two of them stared up at the half-collapsed structure a bit longer, and even Kabuto had to cringe a bit at the dump. "I'll make you a deal," Sasori spoke to his 'landlord', "If I reconstruct this trash heap into something more acceptable, I _alone_, which is to say without any services…then I want thirty percent off of monthly payment."

"Unacceptable. Five."

"Twenty."

"Ten."

"Eighteen."

"Thorough, are we?"

"Every little bit helps. I'll even make the quarters fit to support parties."

"Coronations."

The shaking of the head. "Outrageous, too small for that. Graduations." Kabuto was about to protest again, but Okudo interrupted him. "…for scholars _and_ shinobi."

Then Orochimaru's young assistant spouted a surprisingly big chuckle. "I like you, Okudo-kun! You pertain to mercantilism at a very young age and in a very amusing style! Fine. Eighteen percent. Go nuts with it."

Sasori, draped in red robes and hidden contentment, had just brought the price down even farther from one that he really wouldn't have had any trouble paying for in the first place. But he didn't know how long he would be here to kill Orochimaru and seize his creature, so it might make a difference in the long run.

Walking up slowly to the mess with the gentle tap-tap of shoe gracing stepping stone after stepping stone, he finally made it up to the twisted double doors almost lapping over each other like lovers. He scowled at the problem. Picking up a sizeable pipe resting against the wall next to it and hollered back down, "Oi, could you give an ex-emir a hand with getting this barricade open with me?! The first step must always be the hardest."

Kabuto must have heard him, because in an instant, his distant figure blew into smoke and clouds, and he warped in next to the incognito Akatsuki member. Taking another pipe, he and Sasori stood neighboring each others positions, and simultaneously wedged the end of each pole into the already-damaged hinges struggling to embrace their masters. They looked at each other at the same time and uttered a small count.

"One…two…THREE!" They cracked the doors soundly, both boys much stronger than they looked, and the gigantic metal plates flew off and down the stone stairs and pathway, clattering with enough noise to wake a cemetery.

Ignoring that, the two peered inside the darkened entrance hall, dust rising everywhere around them. Sasori's annoyance had just been fully realized. All over the place, junk, junk, junk. Impaired furniture, broken boxes and crates of what can be presumably more junk, and cracked pictures of people that he couldn't care less of who they were filled the room. He wouldn't bother trying for the light switch; the lamps above their heads were completely smashed in.

Lazily raising his eyebrows, Kabuto instantly assumed the worst in the newcomer's capabilities and almost instantly inquired after seeing the condition, "Shall we just blow the whole eighteen percent-off thing like it never happened then?"

The puppeteer punted what appeared to be the remnants of a small music box at his foot, and it flew into a grand pile of the many other deserted objects, starting off the painful broken noise of the tune the music box had, as it brought down the mountains of dust and cobweb covered furnishings and smashed picture frames. Another cloud rose in the stead of the collapse.

The misfortunate puppeteer had kicked not only this, but figuratively himself in the mouth by saying that the first step was the hardest. The headache is just starting. And even covering all this, he had yet to get to know his new partner. Kami help him.

"…It looks like I have work to do." He glided over to the corner of the room and pulled a few wooden boards bolting one of the windows loose, illuminating more of the room with morning light. His eyes were unaffected by the change of brilliance as the rays hit them, and without looking, he continued to speak to Kabuto. "I'd like to speak with you at another time. But while I have my hands full of this place, I'll need some space and quiet. No hard feelings…I just miss my family."

"Miss your family? Oto is your family now. Why should you miss something that you're already with?" He smirked and threw him a passing glance while he continued to the other side of the ruined prison of a room. "Remember to love and care for your family. Or you'll get nothing of the kind in return. And _especially_ mind Dad."

Sasori wasn't stupid. He knew that his subordinate was referring to Orochimaru. He'd so love to rip that brainwash technique off of him right about now. But he knew that it required waiting. The more patient he was, the more info he'd rake in. Not to mention the greater amount of pride would be lost from Orochimaru the longer he realized that he had gone without knowing that his former partner had had his eye on him the whole time. Unseen. Unblinking.

As Kabuto shot out of the broken window that Sasori had just opened, the Suna outcast could hear him laughing all the way out. What a freak.

Rushing to follow where he had left, he tapped the window sill and outer walls of the apartment with such speed that no one would guess what he was doing. Then he followed procedure with the other windows as well, and after a job well done, he neatly planted himself in an opening of space on the floor. Some dust kicked around, but he knew that the problem wouldn't last. All he needed was to do a little housekeeping.

Cross-legged on the wooden floor, Sasori could finally have respite from the watchful eyes of the Snake Sannin. He threw off his red cloak, revealing gray gauze covering his prosthetics. He reached inside the innermost pocket of the pile sprawled beside him and took out a familiar small ornament. His ring. Everyone had to be in positions by now, and he didn't want to upset Pein again.

He placed the tiny trinket on the ground in front of him, trying to get it as least dirty as humanly possible. With a sharp arrangement and combination of handsigns, the device glowed like a large fire ember, and many hallucinations came into view around it. They were projections of the other members, most of them sitting, looking as though they were leaning against something, a few stood.

"Sasori reporting in." He spoke with tranquility, hiding the anxiety to share what he learned and that his infiltrations were successful.

Other faces blackened by the holographic effects turned and stared at him, slowly and one before another.

"Akatsuki has held this position for at least a couple of hours now, and Kisame has made way for the Land of Water." Deidara's voice.

"We spotted a group of Leaf sentinels on patrol, and Itachi interrogated them. It was lucky that he did too. Apparently they swapped orders on the spherical barrier protecting Konoha from above and on all sides. If he hadn't gotten this information for us when he did, we would have been sensed immediately coming in." Zetsu's voice.

"We're bordering Konoha now. Awaiting the Leader's direct order to step in and apprehend what's rightfully ours." Kakuzu.

"But where's the fun in that? Let's take everything that isn't ours also! This backwater village won't know what hit." Hidan.

"Have you gotten in to see the girl, Danna, hm?"

"…I have."

"…You have, and?"

"This job has just gotten much easier for me. The girl is now my…temporary partner."

A wicked glint shined through his real partners gray eye. "Eh. I'm not gonna lie, that really sucks for her. I wish I had feed to watch you tear at each others' throats. Also, you really ought to grab sufficient data to support that she really is one of the jinchuuriki we want."

"I know that. As a matter of fact, I'm taking care of it right now. One of my newer underlings is at work, searching for a blind spot to retrieve a couple of Orochimaru's files. We'll soon know."

"A newer underling? Have you made progress with the expansion idea so soon?" Kakuzu inquired.

"I've had her for a while, you just haven't met her yet."

"HER?" Deidara snickered again, "How many women are you keeping?"

"She's not human." Sasori pulled out a long slender black chain attached to a black coin with an ominous symbol etched in the middle. Attached to that as a second link was a tag with Japanese engravings. It was a charm similar to one that Orochimaru might use. "…Not anymore."

"Don't tell me…" Everyone's eyes widened upon seeing the instrument that the puppeteer was now wielding. "That's…"

"My former senior's technique, modified and made special by yours truly. It is a thing similar to Black Magic, used in rituals and séances. With this, my new jutsu, _Deddo Doru,_ will reach fruition even if it takes me another decade to master complete control."

"_Dead Doll Technique?_ The name alone screams to me that you're playing with fire. What are you hoping to accomplish by making dead things work for you, un?"

"It's not necromancy. It's similar, but not. You see, this is what happens to people who oppose me. Even in death, they don't truly leave me. Only the ones too weak for me to concern myself with are the ones that get left behind. My goal is similar to Orochimaru's, don't you see. My duty as an immortal is to collect knowledge from different sources, and that well includes my enemies." He stood up and faced away from the others towards the open window, the charm dangling behind him in his hands. "Take the Sandaime, for instance. Since I killed him and made him an asset to me, I've nearly doubled in power. Still, I'm aware of risk, and I've decided not to use my latest technique on him. If I did that, he might become too strong and rage out of my control."

"I suppose that's a fair move. Watch your back while you're there. The Sannin…the girl…your own twisted senses of art— Tobi what the hell are you dancing like that for?!"

"I…I have to go to the bathroom."

"Find a tree."

Sasori rolled his eyes. "My art isn't twisted. Scientists don't fear evolution. I have multiple assignments. Experiments to finish…and of course…my latest collector's item."

"Ah, yes! We all can't wait to see what our robotics genius next throws us, un. I'll bet it will be almost comparable with half of _my_ work!"

Sasori slightly dropped his jaw. "Almost…?" He seethed.

"For fuck's _sake,_ you two! Just shut up about who has the better painting! How great can this stupid art of yours be—"

Both snapped their heads at the Jashinist at the same time to cut him off and shout, "SHUT YOUR FACE!"

"You two need FAITH. Faith's where it's at, religion, religion's the shizzle."

"Shut up, Hidan." Kakuzu's catchphrase.

"Sorry, sorry. I'm just saying seek something that isn't _material._ Little sissy art pieces and money, that shit is material. Just throw all of your material possessions to the fire, devote your vocations to slaughter, and see where it leads. The ending is as thrilling as the path itself. I can already see the tiny light at the end of the tunnel of my accomplishments…"

"…That's hellfire, Hidan."

"Ah!! No it's not!!! You're missing the point!"

"Shhh! Everyone! Shhhhh!" Tobi tried his best to calm the crowd down and make them seem more presentable. "It's Leader-sama!"

Everyone turned their heads away from Sasori, and their holographic figures began to fade from plain view.

"Everyone…!" But they faded out before Sasori could get their attention one last time. He stood alone, surveying out of the corner of his eye the dust-trailed spots they once were. Turning back stiffly to face the bleak light of the morning, he uttered his finishing words. "…Good luck with the Akatsuki Escape Plan." Along with his message, he hoped they would bid the Nine-Tailed Fox a quick hi from him as well. He turned to the artifact he was holding, and covering around it with his hand with the care of an architect, he spoke into it with a commanding tone. "Bloody Mari. My Number '13'." The Japanese runes on the obsidian ornament distributed a soft orange glow and a gentle whir. "Take your position until I give you the order. Stay hidden and avoid direct contact with all chakra-based signatures."

The object buzzed awkwardly for a while, and then a gentle, feminine voice answered through the relic bleak, indifferent, and devoid of any emotion, "As you wish. Sasori no Danna."

The relic's orange light faded back to sleep. Sasori slipped it away to a place unknown. Then his thoughts turned back to how he should welcome his new rude partner. Knowing a Tailed Beast, she'd be healed in no time. He wouldn't be surprised if she was up and around within the week, especially seeing how much she had healed already when he visited the facility. What he said to Kabuto was the truth – he didn't like her. No girl should have that vulgar language, especially at that age. And he detested nothing more than little misbehaving children.

Nevertheless, her nature eluded him. The more he thought about it, the dumber it sounded, but he hated when things eluded him. Certainly bearing such a face full of chagrin, she had her fill of troubles. Not possibly the kind of troubles that he himself had, but hardships enough to drag a fourteen-year old down rock bottom. He didn't care to know her as a person, but he did care to know her as a weapon. The extent of her abilities. What angers her the most? What could make her such a patriot to her village? What exactly did she feel that she owed the Snake Sannin? These emotions were lost to himself, as they always had been.

…Maybe he just had to see her again for himself. After all, socialization, getting to know a person, was just science one had to master – even if Sasori always thought it was a stupid one. An asset granted to benefit knowledge-seekers on the details of other human beings. There's nothing else involved than that…was there?

The puppet master nonchalantly twisted his hand into full rotations with his wrist; something a normal person couldn't do. Biting down on his lip in wonder, he looked out the window up towards the hospital he had just left, watching it unblinking as it stuck out in the distance, looming over most other buildings.

"Tayuya of the North Gate." His keen eyes narrowed leisurely at where he knew she still was. "From what kind of metal…were you fashioned from as Orochimaru's weapon? Because the Akatsuki's weapon…is made of wood."


	15. Artist Sensei

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

**Chapter 13: Artist Sensei**

"Okay, kids. Everyone settle down." Umino Iruka used his most innocent tone among his young, charismatic students wandering about. Heads of the academy's children shuffled amongst themselves in the large classroom, quite chatty in the morning. Their sensei scratched the back of his head casually. It was always terrible to get their attention, but what more could be expected for the buddings of Konoha's next generation? "Please, eyes on me!"

All of the children slowly but surely followed his instruction. The noisy voices began to drown themselves out, and the sensei was met by the pleasant, young, innocent faces of the Hidden Village's progeny. Iruka enjoyed his job. ANBU wasn't for him, neither were any of the other classes of prestige: the Interrogation Squad or the Medical Staff. No, more than anything, he delighted in being a teacher for the smallest bearers of the village's future, and seeing them through the Ninja Academy with the uprising they needed to become strong for the next Hokage. To him, an academy sensei was just as important a role as what anyone like Ibiki did.

"Now let's get started." He declared. "Can any of you remember what we talked about yesterday? If so, raise your hand." A few small arms shot up, some faster than others. So among them, Iruka selected the most rebellious and recognizable of the cluster. "Yes, Konohamaru. What did we do?"

"We talked about what we each wanted to do when we grow up!" The boy answered vigorously. His smile was missing a tooth, but brimming with confidence as always. "Me," he brushed his arm lively over the scarf that he wore around his neck and adjusted a pair of goggles on his forehead similar to the pair that Naruto, his idol/rival, once wore. "I'm gonna be the next Hokage! Not because I was related to grandpa, but because I'm gonna become just that strong. Everyone knows that!"

Hanabi, the murky-eyed prodigy of the Hyuuga clan, lightly scoffed at his cliché as she sat next to him. "Why would you be talking about becoming someone as great as that?" She inquired, not to sound snobbish, but to know. "You can't conjure up a single shadow clone of yourself. Hokage is more than a title, you know. Hokage is a leader that spends years of hard work to master hundreds of different jutsu. I doubt you know one."

Her hotheaded classmate fell easily into offense about this, and blushed angrily. "Hey, shut up! I can _too_ do a jutsu!"

"No, you can't," she calmly replied. "You only think you can."

"Oh YEAH? It just so happens that I've been working on perfecting the Fourth Hokage's legendary _Rasengan_ Jutsu. How'd you like to get hit by that, ne?"

"According to my father, that jutsu hasn't been perfected by even the man who made it. What exactly are you looking to prove, Konohamaru-kun?" The way she looked when she asked this bore no less innocence than a newborn kitten, but by now the boy she questioned was beaming.

"What? That does it! Feel the awesome wrath of the Soon-To-Be Sixth Hokage, Sarutobi Konohamaru! This one's gonna sting!" He adjusted his palm towards the ground in an attempt to conglomerate all of his chakra into the center to create what he hoped would be at least half of something that Naruto could. That's all he asked for: half of what a Rasengan should look like.

HaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAA!" With his mouth wide open in a blatantly obnoxious kamehame shout, he thrusted his open palm at the young and witty girl, confident fires in his eyes. Her eyes didn't blink.

"Wind element jutsu are about more than just throwing air at an opponent, I believe, Konohamaru-kun," she made the taunt confidential to her sensei, who was currently holding a hand to his forehead in chagrin. "Try developing a steady-base chakra stream before trying to destroy your classmates."

"Hmph," Konohamaru shrugged his shoulders childishly with his arms in cross position. "When we're older and tougher, then you'll see. Hyuuga-_chan._" He made a face at the girl, who crinkled a slight one of her own.

"Okay, okay, that's enough you two." Iruka spoke up to interrupt the two exceptionally young love birds engaged in their daily rivaling squabbles. At least they had no problem maturing with the kind of attitude that all kids grew up with. Rivalries were typically good things, inspiring ninjas to grow stronger for the sake of surpassing their competitors, but ultimately leading to the safety of their village.

…At least that's what happens with _most_ ninjas. The ones that don't otherwise become twisted and evil. Criminals and outcasts, thirsty for power, respect, and above everything that evidently mattered, fear.

"Can't you two just put aside your differences and make nice for a day? Half a day? Come on, just humor your teacher."

"But Iruka-sensei." Hanabi protested gently. "Is Sarutobi-kun not the one that antagonizes himself by taking offense to anyone who tries to feed him constructive advice?"

"Th-that is not true!" Konohamaru debated, still beaming brightly. Hanabi sighed.

"Heh, now now, we all know how witty you can be, Hanabi. That's probably why you might find that others mistake your words. They never know when you're picking on them or if you're just trying to give them advice." Iruka scratched his cheek lightly and gave her a friendly smile.

She wasn't quite satisfied. "But…but I…"

"There, now. We'll talk more on it later, okay, Hanabi?" The girl looked at him with an unreadable expression, but reluctantly nodded once to him anyway. "Konohamaru," Iruka turned his attention to the boy that she was just scuffling with, "Can you mind yourself for that long? Come on now, your private tutor and I have hard enough time just keeping watch on you _after_ school hours. Could you please treat your classmates with the same respect they treat you?"

"You mean the snobby back-stabbing kind? Sure, no problem!" He huffed and crossed his arms again.

His teacher could have possibly facepalmed himself, but for the sake of the students and his own sanity, reserved as much irritation to himself as possible. "Okay, now that _that's_ settled…" he grumbled to himself, "after snack time today, I've got someone special to introduce all of you to. He's a student teacher that came to help with art session today. So could everyone please put on their best attitudes and welcome him as warmly as I hope you will? Including _you,_ Konohamaru?" He leered especially carefully on the class ruffian, who gave him an exasperated face.

"Hah…hai, sensei…"

"Excellent!" Iruka clapped with content. "Now, can any of you remember anything about our Second Hokage?"

Hands shot up. Iruka picked one. It was Udon. With a voice smothered by congestion, he straightened his glasses, sniffed messily, and stood up. "Our Second Hokage was the one who founded the Ninja Academy?"

"Okay, good!" Iruka gave him an assuring smile and pointed out another student. "And he is the brother of what man? Ikura, do you know?"

"Wasn't it…the First Hokage?"

"Uh-huh," He pointed to another student, "Who was famous for…?"

"Mmmmm…I forget… Sorry…"

"That's just fine," Iruka insisted, bent on keeping his young student's esteem up. "This isn't for a grade; I'm just testing you guys on what you know. Can't send you off to the Chunin Exams without you knowing whose honor and village you're fighting for, can we?" He laughed lightly, and then picked on another student. "How about you? What can you tell me about the First Hokage? It's a free shot, you can just tell me anything from what he did to what color armor he wore."

"Uh-um…red…?" The timid voice squeaked.

"…Okay, progress! Anyone else?"

And the lessons at the Ninja Academy pretty much went like that. Fairly easy questions met with fairly basic answers, rewarded with appraising smiles and comments by their loving sensei. Sometimes they would have brain sessions where they got candy for answering questions right, or winning games when the class got split into two teams. Lunch and snack times so that the kids didn't starve their little stomachs, and naptime in the afternoons. Luxuries that many chunin reminisce over. Unfortunately, the world for them wasn't offered up as kindly. Thinking back to how simple life had once been was pretty much the only way any adult could relax in the hard line of employment they worked in. But for some of them, even back then life wasn't as sugarcoated as the Second Hokage tried to make it. Especially if they had come from other villages with stricter policies and rules.

Either way, nostalgia was pretty much a part of culture in the ninja world.

These students – the students that Iruka took great care to look after – could consider themselves the lucky ones.

The morning turned into the afternoon before anyone knew it. The day blew over rather swiftly for the children and their sensei. And now it was snack time. Some of the kids brought their own small meals from their parents if they didn't appreciate the food that Iruka kept for them (or if they were occasionally allergic to it, much like Udon), others just trusted and indulged on whatever treats the classroom had. It had always been a most anticipated part of their daily life, but today, a new reason came over the other.

A student teacher was coming. Older kids could hardly care, but to the younglings, it was almost like a new member stepping into their little social family. Only question was: who was that person like?

Iruka clapped his hands soundly, his eyes closed cheerfully. "Okay, did everyone have a good eat?" A few yes's broke through here and there, and about by this time, all of the tiny students had departed from their separated group tables and practically curled together in a great ball in the middle of the floor; customary procedure for events like story time.

The sight always made their sensei smile. Pretty much all but the most cold-hearted of bastards would, or so was the thought. "Remember the manners your good sensei has taught you. When he comes here, I want all of you to say hello, try not to make him feel awkward. Okay?"

"Yeah," They agreed in a slightly disorganized unison, but their young eyes and minds were fixed entirely on the doorway to the right of the amiable man. The air around them fell silent. Even the sporty young Konohamaru held his breath in.

Iruka seemed to keep them waiting a bit longer, almost as if he wanted to hold every ounce of the suspense in as much as he could for young students – what some of them might call a 'cruel act of humanity' on them, if only they knew how to express the action other than "that's mean". Finally he turned his head and called, "You can come in now."

He sat on his chair in the middle, one leg over his lap, crossing his arms as he continued to survey the many curious faces with their jaws hanging slightly out in awe as the door slowly creaked open. The fingers of a hand wrapped over the edge of the doorframe were the first things that they spotted while they kept as much of their fledgling attention as Kami would allow. The hinges made a sound that none of them ever thought it could. A faint screech. The door was softly, fully opened, and a sandaled foot stepped in, followed by the rest of a lean figure.

Hanabi was to jump on being the first to cordially greet her new sensei, but upon sight of his appearance, the words were lost to her.

None of the class blinked as the soft and gracious patter of the shinobi shoes progressed towards the center of the chalkboard.

"…Hmm…how can I say this..? To make my first impression on this particular group…" The voice, oily smooth, seemed to mutter his syllables out in a sweet, melodious flow as the owner continued his advance toward his invitee. "You are all…" Everyone waited for it. "…Such a serious-looking bunch, hm."

The tightly occupied spot of academy students seemed to topple over itself. "And…that's it?" Konahamaru replied dumbly.

A white and toothy grin helped answer that. "And that's it." His appearance was as followed. Long, shining blond hair, a perfectly trim body entrapped in a fishnet shirt with a matching sash around his waist and dark pants, legplates securing his calves, and an everlastingly impish smile marking his effeminate expression.

"Aheh!" Iruka gave a chuckle and stood up from his seat to shake his new colleague's hand. "And my impression on you is that you're a man of few words." They proceeded to shake hands, and instantly, a shiver crept up his spine. There was something weird about the feel of the other man's hand. Like something was gaping on the palm. A scar perhaps?

"Oh no, Iruka-sempai," he politely disagreed as he let go. He lightly brushed a long bang of blonde hair away from his eye. His revealing gray eye shone coldly with confidence. "Contrarily, I'm a man of many words…hm." It shifted to the cluster of curious onlookers and narrowed while a cunning smirk drew slowly across his mouth. "Only that…they won't need that many words until they graduate from the academy…I'm right, yeah?"

"Well, uh, yes, I suppose." Iruka scratched again. "There's really no need to call me sempai, now. As I see it, you're a colleague of mine, just like I am of you."

"Hm…well I don't have any intention of desisting humility. It is, after all, quite uncommon nowadays."

"Well, that's more of a…glass half-empty point of view, but you're welcome to it. Rest assured though, you won't be disappointed by this group." He nodded with not so much as a glint of negativity in his eye. It actually made his partner scowl a little but not so to the point where he noticed. "Everyone, I'd like you to meet—"

"Sakka-sempai. Mm." He interrupted, initially cancelling the entire honour of the preamble.

Some of the students hearing the name tried very hard to wrap their minds around the name he gave. Ironically, Hanabi was the one that was trying the hardest.

'_Sakka…sempai…?'_ She played the name in her thoughts over and over while she gazed up at the young, long-haired man with uncertainty. He was surveying the group silently with almost inwardly wild eyes. _'Artist… It sounds so weird to have as a name...'_ Her natural Hyuuga awareness gage instantly shot up into the red area as she gasped quietly on noticing that his eyes had stopped on her. And stayed on her for as long as she continued to stare. She instinctively averted her own eyes and tilted her head down to avoid his piercing stare. _'…All the same…why do I sense…that this man is very prestigious…?'_

The very person she was talking to herself about continued to stare. _'Those eyes. No mistaking that tint. A Hyuuga. I've studied up on their Kekkei Genkai…but this,'_ his eye dilated with apprehension. _'…is my first time seeing one in person.'_

"And are you native to this village, Sakka-san?" Iruka asked him formally, tearing him from his thoughts.

He instantly turned away to face him and answer his question. "Ah, no. You could say I'm somewhat of a…pilgrim. I emigrated from the Land of Snow just a month or so back. And arrived here no more than two days ago…hm."

Iruka whistled lightly, showing his interest. "Wow, you really settle down _quick._"

"I don't know exactly how long I'll be teaching. Honestly, I was originally planning to act more as an aide to you…assuming you were so attached to these guys that you didn't feel like leaving them, huh."

"I'm fine with it. Don't get me wrong, I love my class, but sometimes I'll have people like Ebisu substitute when I have to go off on an urgent mission. We're used to it."

One of the younger kids, a girl no less, who had obviously not paid much attention to the conversation, instantly drove down the middle of their conversation like a wedge and asked the newcomer that Dreaded Question of Fate:

"Ne! Sakka-sensei, Sakka-sensei! Are you a boy or a girl?"

The room dropped twenty degrees in two seconds. Under this circumstance, Udon and Moegi actually turned out to be the wisest thinkers of the bunch. Without taking their dinner plate-sized eyes away from the blatantly perturbed sub, the poor creatures broke off from the large, slightly misshapen pyramid of young peers, made a slow, cautious, backwards military crawl away from the front of the room to beneath the table farthest back, and there crouched in fetal position to await Armageddon.

Deidara was strenuously trying to bridle his contempt with undoubtedly every ounce of chakra. Physically, mentally, and spiritually. While at it, his reserved few shreds of sanity lasted just enough so that he could do some inward psychiatry to repair the dangerous state of mind that a three-year-old had single-handedly grabbed him by his groin and hurled him into.

"I'm…a boy." He seethed out through a pair of comically-sharp fangs. All the while, he repeated a phrase in his head, _'They're just words, they can't hurt me, they're just words, they can't hurt me…'_

"Really…? Oh." A young boy jumped into the conflict to fan the flames of war. While saying what followed, he blushed a pink tint over his face with only the innocence of a toddler. "…I was just about to tell you…you actually look kinda pretty."

"…I'm still a boy." The artist hung his head in sheer disdain. With the suddenness of a gunshot, the entire class roared with laughter over the deal, whether it was directly at him, or what the last kid had said, it was equally horrible.

Hanabi covered her mouth to resist breaking a smile open, but even with all those hours of meditation, her concentrated efforts couldn't fully suppress her giggles.

"Hey now, come on, that's an inappropriate question!" Iruka struggled to make his voice clear over all the screaming others, but it was hardly effective. Realizing this, he it was all he could do to turn and flash his colleague a shamed and sheepish smile. _'So much for the introduction I was shooting for…'_

A sizeable raincloud had long-since formed over Deidara's head, soaking him in heavy rain. His eyes were completely shaded in to mark his chagrin. He was chained up in a cave. A cave filled with mocking, jeering, conniving little demon children. Screw first impressions. Fuck sociology.

'…_I wonder of Sasori wouldn't be willing to build me a puppet to lock myself away inside too…?'_ The thought wasn't exaggerated. As much as he would love blowing these gremlins of Hell back to the fiery depths from whence they sprang, that wasn't his mission.

…But that wouldn't stop him from wishing so incredibly bad that it _was_ his mission.

"Just hand me the attendance clipboard, un." He muttered. _'Some of the names just might make it to my personal 'People to Kill' list.'_ Every other Akatsuki had one. In order to have your name on something that personal, _that_ confidential, you'd have to do something pretty bad.

Questioning Deidara's sexuality was pretty bad. On the positive side, your cremation would be free of charge.

When the laughing dimmed down, Iruka swallowed his pity and informed them, "He's going to be our assistant for Arts and Crafts time. How does that sound?"

"I dunno, but he talks funny, sensei!" One of them shouted.

"YOU, child, hm!" Deidara pointed two digits fiercely down at the talker as if he were Judge Death himself. "What…is your name?"

"I'm Konohamaru! Get used to hearing it around here, you hear?"

His new mentor rolled his eyes and turned his head to follow a small, capricious huff. Hanabi again crossed his line of sight, being the source of the impulsive scoff. He smirked with slight interest. "…So I see. …Hm."

Konohamaru tried to continue his monologue of grandeur. "Yeah, I may not seem like it on the outside, but on the inside I'm actually really—"

"KAY! CLIPBOARD!" He could have made the boy screech with the volume he cut him off with. Iruka handed it over to him, happily, but a bit perplexed. The group of tiny kids watched as the newly-acquainted stranger's eyes trimmed the page, searching the name. They gleamed distinctly when he found out what his last name was. His expression started alive.

"? Sarutobi Konohamaru?"

"That's right!"

"Relative of the Third Hokage, I presume?"

"Right!"

"Well Konohamaru, I actually happen to be quite an admirer of his work! Did you know that he trained one of the most dangerous, most feared men in the world of shinobi, hm?"

"The boy's skin started to go pale. "I…uuh…I mean…"

"How is he?" Deidara, now masquerading as a captive fan of Sarutobi Hokage, pretended to work around eagerly. "Is he around? Can you introduce me at some point?"

By now, Konohamaru's spirits had sunk like a stone through water. He slowly sat down again, depression visible on his face.

"Uhm…Sakka." Iruka whispered into his ear. Deidara leaned in, his lip furrowed with dumb and open curiosity. "The Sandaime Hokage…well…" He broke it with a sorrowful tone. "…He passed recently, and we make a point of not mentioning anything about it around Konohamaru. You can understand, right?"

Deidara frowned and looked away. "Ah yes, of course…how very, very awful."

On the inside, he was smiling. He knew about it, of _course._ Why else would he have brought it up? Maybe there was some fun to be had here in the Hidden Leaf after all. …Just a little.

"Anyways!" Iruka spoke up to the class, "I think it's about time to pack it in for today. Please come in tomorrow with bright smiling faces, because Sakka-sensei is officially going to be a part of our group talks. We'll probably spend the first half of the day introducing each other." He turned; hand on hip, back to the new student teacher. "Anything you want to add before we say good-bye today?"

The blond young man nodded and took a step forward. Looking down at the class, he caught a few distrustful leers, but shrugged them off his shoulder and said what he was going to say:

"Let's make knowing each other a healthy, positive, and wonderful experience. Yeah."

Deidara, the S – Class international terrorist and demolitions expert of a batshit-twisted criminal organization had successfully infiltrated the vulnerable budding area of Konoha's flourishing vine. And none of these idiots suspected a thing.

* * *

A familiar young woman sat comfortably on a porch, lapping happily on her customary favorite grab-it-and-go treat: a stick of dango dumplings rolled and marinated in sweet sauce. After that close scuffle with Uchiha Itachi, it was nice to see the day end on a _good_ note. In spite of everything, a single sweet tongue-tingling sensation was all that it took to relight and rekindle the world of Mitarashi Anko. Her favorite words to live by have always been "Enjoy the little things".

It was a bright orange dusk in the Hidden Leaf Village, and many of the denizens and tourists were already starting to turn in. Bit by bit, the crowds were clearing. And it was her favorite part of the day. Just quiet time between her and her one true love: sweets.

She sat in the same place for several minutes. Nothing out of the ordinary was happening. Konoha was falling asleep. She was almost disappointed.

Almost.

But after Akatsuki forces brushing so close, so…near them? It was like watching an atomic bomb explode in the near distance and wipe out everything around your house _except_ your house. No way in Hell could that have been it. Orochimaru was in that organization. They're too good for that.

She realized that her pondering over the matter had left her paused and neglecting a perfectly good snack, and she couldn't have that. She was about to chew off the third dumpling off of the stack when she realized something cliché that all good ninjas realize.

It was too quiet.

She slowly sat up, from the porch, half hidden between a misty dark and an orange light by the impressive structure over her. The orange paper lanterns hanging down over the proceeding alleyway drifted silently with a light gust of wind passing through them. Still holding her snack in one hand, she turned and looked down one direction.

Everyone was gone.

She closed her eyes, inhaling and exhaling a slow breath, and slowly turned the other way.

She gasped audibly when she found her face two inches away from another.

"Hi there." He spoke with a calm grin just as soon as she spotted him.

"Wah!" With the sheer instincts she was raised by, her hand holding the sharp-tipped dango stick acted on itself and drove the wooden pick deep into the blade of the man's left shoulder, undoubtedly ripping into a tendon and out.

"…Ow." He didn't cry out in pain or anything of the sort, instead taking the tip of the pick by two fingers and quickly jerking it out with a brief grunt. She didn't know if she was more appalled by how easily he took to doing it, or by how creepish it was of him to just jump out at a lady like that. Either way, her heart had jumped about two beats.

"My God! What do you think you're doing, just springing up out of the ground like that in a silent area like this? Mister, have you no _shame?_"

"Oh shut up." He replied, coolly running a hand through his silver, neatly-combed hair. "You're the one who ain't got shame, sticking around here near dark while everyone else leaves. Do you have any idea what happens to brash women who do such stupid things?"

"Oh?" She narrowed her eyes. It was difficult for him to tell if she took it as a challenge or an insult. "Then maybe you dunno who I am." She flaunted boldly.

"Hmm…can't say that I…give a shit."

She looked at him coldly, and then continued. "I'm a legitimate jounin of the Hidden Leaf Village. Who do you think's gonna pull something on someone like me?"

"Well, me for instance, _if_ I were in the mood. I was just on my way back from mutilating something that probably didn't deserve to be mutilated, nothing says I wouldn't do the same to a pretty lil' chicky like you."

"You talk pretty tough. Not from around here, are you, guy?"

"Heh. …That obvious, huh?"

She looked him over carefully, first at his enchanting amethyst eyes, then at the fancy purple garb he had wrapped around him, then over his shoulder at his impressive triple-sickle scythe weapon hanging on him by a strong ripcord. After a quick look on that, she also followed his arm down to where he was holding her stick, still with one dango piece clinging to it, now dark red with blood, drops trickling to the dirt ground.

"Mmmmm _pretty_ obvious." She concluded with some easy speculation.

"Well _gee,_ you really _are_ a ninja, aren't you?" He remarked sarcastically, holding the stained wooden point up in front of him. "And you know, where I come from, there's a penalty to pay for spilling the blood of a believer."

She raised her eyebrows at him. "Oh dear. …You're not one of those missionaries, are you?"

He snickered under his breath and replied, "Nah. I'm just here for the good stuff."

"_Really?"_ She flashed an expression born half of mischief, half of flirtation, and as she moved in closer to him, he furrowed his eyebrows in an indignant cringe, but held his ground. "And just…what kind of…_good stuff_ do you crave?" She cooed, moving in to the point where she was right up in his face, drawing his attention with her insinuating stare while she snuck a hand slowly over to his and snatched back her dango stick. With a quick triumphant "ha", she leapt a good few feet away from him and swiftly finished the last dumpling on the stick, despite the blood. Oddly enough, it tasted all the more delicious to her – if she even noticed the difference at all. "Had ya going, didn't I?" She winked at him.

He crinkled his face on sight of her long tongue drawing out of her mouth to lick her lips clean. It was a kinky sort of gesture, for shits _yeah_, but still he always thought that blood was _his_ thing.

"Hn? You a vampire or something?" He inquired with a sneer.

"Who me?" She looked around herself innocently. Then she jumped high up into the air, and with the grace of a trapeze performer, landed on the wire dangling above holding the paper lanterns. "Not really. Just a sweet, adorable, fun-loving girl raised by a complete psychopath."

He continued to look at her with something of an unreadable expression. "I still say it wouldn't protect you. You could be a scrapper off the streets or some stuck-up pampered princess raised off of her parents' money, and your recklessness will only send you one place in the end: to a cozy grave with your name on it."

"Hmph. Well aren't _you_ a glass half-full." She snorted.

"Hey, don't take my word for it; just ask yourself how invincible you are."

"Oh as if you differ?"

The man smiled. "Sweetheart, there are morgues _filled_ with bodies of people who thought the way you're thinking right now. I guess what I'm really trying to break to you is…well, you're _mortal._"

It was no mystery that Anko drew negative energy from being called 'Sweetheart'. She sighed and rolled her eyes detestably. This guy was either being too difficult to reason with or too needy for a half-decent argument. "Look, did you come here to start something? Or do you have someplace else to be?"

"Ah," he slapped his forehead. "You're right, I do. …Still, do you by any chance have a name?"

"Maaaaayybe," she played, crossing her arms, "Also maaaaayybe I don't feel like telling you if I did before you told me yours first."

She watched him pull something tiny out from under his sleeve. "Sorry lady, I don't feel like bending over for someone I don't even know. Jeez, and to think I showed myself just to give you a piece of helpful advice. Tch…" He turned to face away from her and spread his arms out dramatically to emphasize his apparent disappointment. "Just comes to show ya, it's typical of a woman to never listen when someone much _stronger_ than her tries to give a little constructive criticism."

This REALLY got her attention. "You think you're stronger than me, eh? Shall we see who bleeds the most?" She drew out a kunai, anticipating that he would do the same. But all he did was flash her an indifferent look and reveal the tiny object he held. It was a jagged paperclip.

"Even I make a point not to get serious over an atmosphere so subtle." He brushed her off. "I just thought you might ask me on a date if I was nice. Ooooooh well." He started to break off tiny sections of the clip into barbed pieces as he continued speaking. "I do have a cool trick to show you though. I learned it off of watching the movie _Daredevil_." He had all of the segments of clipping laid out on the back of his hand. "Now pay attention, 'cause I'm only gonna do this once."

Before Anko could respond, he already established his aim at her, and lightly, swiftly brushed his other hand over the shrapnel shards with the sharpest and most delicate of strokes, and they whistled through the air faster than bullets into various places of the wire that she was steadily balanced on. All of the lanterns below her burst aflame at about the exact same time, and the rope instantly gave way.

She flipped harmlessly onto the floor of the alleyway, and looked around just in time to hear him scream the word "Bull's-eye!" and his sadistic laughter echo away.

Amidst the wall of fire now cutting off the path, the purple-robed man had disappeared.

"Huh. Mortal, eh? Wonder where he went…" She scratched the back of her head, briefly wondering for a moment as she put her knife away if she should inform ANBU. She ultimately declined. It was to be her little secret. As she began to walk home, she quickly reverted back to her peace of mind. "I feel kinda bad for letting him get away…but it's not like I've seen the last of him."

* * *

"You took the on alias of _Sakka? Artist?_ You're joking."

"Hey, it seemed like a classy idea at the time, Sasori no Danna."

Sasori was busily exploring his former superior's village, learning every nook and cranny he could. A peculiar girl was following him close at his heels. There was no one else in the area, so he was fully able to let his living jutsu trek around with him. Bloody Mari was indeed the girl, give or take with the deadly traps and lack of internal organs. She followed her master with sort of a clatter to her step; a metallic three-clawed instrument like the kind you'd use to grab stuffed animals inside a vending machine resembling her left hand. Metal plates were welded mercilessly around her legs as armor and possibly extra weight to make her taijutsu more powerful and efficient. A torn bright red cape hung out around her rather petite form like moss. As poorly put together as she looked from the neck down, her face was that of an undeniably young and beautiful lady, apart from her lifeless and gloomy expression. From her hung a large and potent necklace of kunai knives.

They were both passing around a couple of decrepit buildings while Sasori and Deidara still argued over a comlink.

"You are teaching at the Leaf Ninja Academy…and your name is 'Artist-sensei'." He tried to sort the outrageous facts in his head.

"Hey, is this coming from the one who decided to use _Juuman'okudo,_ the literal translation of _Eternity_ for his name? That's a bit hypocritical, wouldn't you say?"

"First name _Okudo,_ last name _Juuman'._"

"You must think you're very clever, un. Do you honestly believe that Orochimaru won't make a connection? From what I hear, you two have known each other too long for that."

"It was sort of a gimme, I admit, and he's welcome to try anything. I'll tell you, it was awfully suspicious that he let me get so close to the girl. You can pretty much infer that the Snake was dangling her out in front of me. Wanting to see what I did. Everything is going just too smoothly for us to believe he doesn't have a clue."

"What should we do?" Deidara's voice was getting apprehensive. "If your suspicions are that high, he's obviously too threatening to overlook."

Sasori exhaled a calm sigh. "…He's probably thinking the same thing about me. …Yet here I walk free, talking to you. This was just my hunch, after all. Until anything happens, I'll continue being the exalted 'Juuman' Okudo'."

"I really don't get you sometimes, hm. Why don't you just slip a knife in while he has his back turned, grab her, and be on your merry way? It's hardly like you to procrastinate like this, Danna."

"…Because you see Deidara," A wicked grin broke around his face. "This little game has me excited. A game of chicken between a snake and a scorpion."

He heard his younger partner chuckle jovially over the link. "My you're a competitive fellow. …But don't expect to blame anyone if you get yourself killed for it."

"How does Konohagakure look? …I've never been."

There was a long pause over the receiver as the puppet master stepped over a few collapsed masses of driftwood. He was now trimming the outskirts of Oto. The sky was closing with twilight, and stars were beginning to take up.

"…Hidan openly kicked our deluxe apartment door down and told us that he met a strange woman while he was walking around, yeah. Didn't say much, just that she…was fine around blood."

"Oh?" Sasori's lazy eyes twinkled lightly. "That's an interesting plot development. Zetsu?"

"He's almost finished preparing the tunnels under Konoha. He's holding his job for the 'Akatsuki Escape Plan' just fine."

"And what about you?"

"Who _me?_" His voice spoke almost humbly. "If I didn't know you better, I'd say you actually cared, un."

"Haaaaah…"

"Hey, if you're seriously so bored that you've resulted to asking me how my little world is going, you ought to go and check up on Tayuya again. Don't you think? She might be getting a bit lonely cramped up there by herself…"

"Sasori-nii-sama," Bloody Mary, Sasori's freely animate human puppet who had been quiet most of the tour, spoke up in a low monotone to get her master's attention. "There appears to be a chakra signature coming up from the trail we're headed. It's…not quite like anything I've detected before."

"Hmmmmm?" He asked, holding the receiver phone away from his ear.

She pointed with one long talon directly ahead. He followed her artificial finger. His eyes widened with tremendous curiosity upon sight of Tayuya, ambling somewhat weakly from the direction she was headed. His head spinning with alert, Sasori silently and abruptly cued his puppet to disappear. His Number 13 did as she was told without so much as a glance from a lidless eye. Her figure vanished into a whirlwind of dead brown leaves, and a quick scurrying sound carried away. She was unnaturally fast.

"That won't be necessary," he answered his partner rushedly. "It seems as though she's coming to me."

"Yay for irony!" Deidara clapped mildly over his side of the comlink. "Now are you actually gonna talk to her this time, hm? Do you want me to let you know what to say? She _is_ a female after all, and we all know how you can be with fe—"

"I'll buzz you back." He severed the link just as she was coming up to him. She still had the occasional bandage or two wrapped around her, but other than that, most of the initial cuts he gave her during their last fight seem to be healed over. She looked as quarrelsome as ever, wearing a scowl that said everything about how she felt towards seeing him. A silent minute passed by as they walked closer and closer and closer to each other. She acknowledged him with a venomous scowl, he acknowledged her with a deadpanned expression.

Their paths inevitably cut, and their shoulders passed each others'. Tayuya would have been just fine leaving it at that. She had nothing much to say to the douche bag apart from a few well-organized combinations of verbal abuse. In all manner of speaking, she just wanted to avoid another confrontation, at _least_ until she was healed up enough to crush a person's windpipe juuuust about his size with her fist.

But Sasori, in spite of his own introversion, did not let it go as easily.

"…Come scrounging about here often? Tayuya of the North Gate?" His voice bled out in almost a whisper while he still faced the direction he was headed.

Her tread came to a screeching halt, and she snapped her head coldly over her shoulder in almost a flush while he made a paced 180 degree turn to face her. The two stood in front of each other for what seemed to be several minutes, both pairs of solid eyes challenging the other.


	16. The Poison of Friendship

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

**Chapter 14: The Poison of Friendship**

Sasori took a step forward with Tayuya's face still right smack in the middle of his crosshairs. Plowing through the loose, wet earth, his approach was a standoffish scrape, like a mad stallion pinning its ground against a territorial rival.

Tayuya raised an eyebrow – half curious, half agitated – while she took to her own leisurely tread, intending to pass him. His slender eye narrowed with deviation as it continued to follow her. For a while it seemed like he would let her go without much trouble, but as their shoulders were about to exchange, the wooded creature quickly shifted his body with a sharp enough creak to split a redwood down the middle, barring her way with about two feet on her in height, looking half eager that he might start something with her again.

She let out her annoyances in an audible huff, and with a surprisingly healthy right arm, pushed him harshly to gain way. In lightning reaction time, he wrenched his hand around her wrist and quickly turned her effort against itself, pulling her arm over behind her back and quickly ending up there himself.

"What do we say." He whispered an inch away from her ear. Even though he was so close speaking to her, it was weird that she couldn't feel anything. No breeze, not hot nor cold, no breath emitting from his mouth behind her. Even though his stoic monotone was indeed creepy, she didn't feel any unpleasant sensations along the lines of a chill up her spine. It wasn't like her superior was any better. _His_ breath was icy cold; no amount of genjutsu brain-scrubbing would rip that little inconvenience about him from her.

She wrenched oppressively against him, trying to force inches away from his incredibly tough sternum, but as she grunted without visibly showing the effort on her face, which was now scowling even deeper than the norm, he spoke again. "I want my apology, Tayuya of the North Gate."

She gave up struggling for a moment and reacted to his demands by snapping her head as far as it would turn over to him, where she was met by the elegant, if somewhat lifeless eyes of her captor. The black auras of his pupils almost seemed to swirl, very similar to the evil chakras that she came to acquaint herself with through her Cursed Seal. "What the hell kind of an apology do I owe you? Trash!" She spattered back at his face, followed by a quick yank of her entire body away from the puppet master's tight hold. All at the same time, she spilled out forth onto the ground into a mud puddle, and in chagrin as she pushed herself out of it, her body unpleasantly chilled from the cold moisture, she realized that the wormy bastard behind her had let go just before she budged with all the might her current condition could muster.

She cringed bitterly with the nasty taste of earthly water polluting her mouth, which she was now hastily sputtering back into its pool on all fours, she gasped for breath with slight visible fatigue in her lightly painted eyes. Behind her, she heard the playful if not cruel series of chuckles where Sasori was now reacting to her misfortune. Suddenly, she forgot all about the cold, wet, and bedraggled condition, as all of the feelings were replaced by a roaring heat. Tayuya got to her feet in a flash while he was still in the midst of laughter, and brusquely replied in the same way that she always replies to the persisted juvenility of such fools: 500 joules of pure knuckle to the face.

Sasori stopped laughing immediately, catching eye of her courteous fist flying dangerously close, and he forced his way down completely, trying hard to evade the brunt of the petite girl's wrath. He outmaneuvered her for thanks of his incredibly light body and flexible chakras powering it, in addition to Tayuya's weakened condition.

"Careful!" He chided her gravely. "Fine. I already see you aren't the apologetic type. But that last moment…" He cut himself short by initiating another burst of giggles, holding his head in place with a single hand while she gritted her teeth and prepared another swing. "So…so priceless…"

"I should've known from when I first saw you! You're the sort of slime that goes and touches young girls. Nothing but a common thug." She made a grab for his black hair and barely succeeded in catching him. She then proceeded to jump his back before he could react properly, and sent her knee against his spine, nearly driving him into the ground with a ferocious wrestling move that you would expect only hardened male athletes to successfully pull. Then again – it was Tayuya.

Sasori shook her loose of her back with a vicious rumble, and brought an elbow down over her shoulder. While he wasn't especially strong, the density of the wood in his limb provided the impression that a giant knife was coming over her as he made his light, quick blow, augmented with his copious reserves of chakra. Her eyes shot alive with pain, and she collapsed to the ground, crippled and rendered officially exhausted.

"No. I've had enough fighting for today." He picked her up by the scruff of her casual white T-shirt she temporarily wore from time to time when she wasn't on duty and pulled her up to eyelevel with him. Tayuya shuttered at those eyes of his. Those slender…_doll's_ eyes. Eyes on her.

"_What?"_ She sneered after several small moments, scrambling away from his touch when he finally released her shirt, leaving behind imprinted creases from his tight fingers. "What the hell you staring at, princess? I hate it when people stare at me! Makes me think they wanna start something." Sasori's expression remained indifferent, although he did raise a curious eyebrow. His silent act was quickly becoming a nuisance on the kunoichi, who was usually the silent member of the Sound Four – much to practically everyone's preference. Not most people were interested to hear what the redhead had to say.

Okudo's continued silence caused a rising flush in the young girl's face, and she gritted her fangs down hard, tempted to attack him again just for props. "Oi!" She snapped her fingers in his face, which didn't flinch at the rude gesture. "I asked you '_what?'_ Do you have a verbal response to the inquiry _'WHAT?'_?" Whether she realized it or not, she was on the edge of her toes, risen as high up to eyelevel with the Sound's mysterious new recruit as possible for her, inches away from his face, glaring.

This time he did respond. "You are a very strange person." He deadpanned as if in deep thought.

"NanIIIII? That's _my_ line!" She slunk back to her normal height and grabbed him abruptly by the throat, appalled and highly frustrated she wasn't getting the terrified reaction out of this…this _rookie_ that she usually got out of most of the older Oto nins, many of which were chunin – and on certain special _sweet_ circumstances – even jounin. Tayuya loved inspiring fear. It was a hobby of hers, and contrary to her sometimes innocent size and appearance, it suited her. She wielded infamy like an axe, and she was more than proud of the fact that the power had spoiled her.

Her impending streak of terror wasn't about to stop flat on _this_ clueless foreign monkey.

"I don't know where you came from, and I don't care." She hissed.

"Actually, I hail from—"

"Save your breath." She harshly interrupted. "If you told me you were from the slums of Konoha, I'd believe it just as little as I believe you're some exalted prince. Orochimaru may think you're useful, but in the meantime he may think that, I say you're rubbish."

"…Did you just call me rubbish?" Sasori didn't sound angry one bit, but cool and casual.

Tayuya's scowl folded up into a challenging smirk, but no friendlier. "You seem a bit slow. Should I try using smaller words?"

The boy sighed. Socializing was never at all as easy as Deidara made it seem. "You don't like me very much, do you? …Pity."

"Be honest with me. Does really _anyone?"_ She snapped back at him, unmoved at his words.

"Hmm…" Sasori clasped both of his hands together as if in prayer and put them in front of his lips. His thinking pose. Finally, he lowered it and said something interesting.

"Okay, I give up."

Tayuya's smile faded, but she didn't answer. She thought for some reason he might explain himself alone.

"You heard me," he said. "I surrender. I guess I'm not that good with this whole acquaintance business. So tell me: what does it take?"

She looked at him with uncertainty for a while, putting her hands on her hips and staring at him, clueless as for what to say. "What does…_what_ take?" She recoiled. "Don't just stand there gaping at me like a gift horse. Spill it."

"For getting you to accept and tolerate my existence the same way I accept and tolerate yours? A…" He almost choked on the word. "A bond? A mutual symbiosis of sorts? A way for me to get you to…'string along'?"

She could have spent energy simply yelling at him again some more, but instead, she decided to use her reserve brainpower to scramble his words together to compose a valid message of which she could understand. Sasori turned his back to her for the moment, keeping both hands cuffed behind him in a poised stature as he took a few steps away. Tayuya squinted uneasily at him when she was ready to speak again. Almost sensing this, the puppeteer stopped his tracks and brushed his greave-like shoe against the padded soil, fidgeting like a shy little boy.

"Yooooouuuuu…want to get me to…'like' you?" She fought to keep her stomach from tingling as she lamely let this sentence work itself out.

Sasori spun himself around in a miraculous burst of speed in reaction to the word 'like' and swept his arm out into a wide, wing-like arc in denial. "NO, no. I didn't use the word 'like', did I? I said _'tolerate'._ How can I get you to _tolerate_ me?"

"Oh…" The ever-faint tingling in her stomach instantly extinguished itself. "I-I was about to say," she added snidely, "no sorry-ass bimbo's ever hit on me with quite _that_ load of shit before. A lesser woman would fall for it."

"Huh!" Sasori couldn't help but force a grin and scoff. "Oh my! You mean there are women in the world lesser than _you?_"

Her jaw dropped down to her chest in outrage to his question. No one ever spoke to her in that tone before. She felt like she would walk back into her village with a huge 'dunce' sign hanging around her neck if she didn't do something fast. There were probably ninjas on a patrol right now. If she was seen like this and word got out that she had walked away from someone talking to her like this…

She looked both ways as if she was on the most dangerous mission she had ever taken, and with a tightened fist and a swift resolution, she drilled a punch square into her new partner's torso. His vessel rocked back and forth once very softly in response to the force of her blow, but other than that, he didn't openly react except with a confused stare and blink.

"…What was that for?"

"Ow!" She shook the pain out of a hand that would probably be red and bruised later on. "The fuck're you _made_ out of?" Tayuya flared her nostrils with a mix of anger and humiliation, continuing her frenzy of curses from under her breath. "Idiot! I punched you in the diaphragm! The wind is out of you! You should've sank to the ground and be spouting blood or something!"

"Why would I want to do that?" He casually replied, trying harder than he seemed to read her for a motive. "Check out the ground," he dabbed his thumb downward, "it's completely wet and filthy."

The irony got to her. "You-you think I'm not aware of that?" Thinking quick, she halted her shouting and stifled it into a whisper, holding a hand up in cover while she leaned in close to conspire with Sasori. "Look, quickly, even if it didn't hurt, quick, get...get on the ground! Quickly!" She jumped in place a number of times like a tiny disturbed dog. "C'mon! A sweet young girl is asking you!"

He tilted his head under the influence of unreadable thought. "Do I get compensated for? I hate getting dirty."

"Agh, _fuck_, yes, yes you get compensated for. So! _Do it!_" She struggled to keep her whisper down, and pointed to the spot between them. "There! Mount the ground! Mount it as if it was your lover!"

He hesitated a bit longer, his eyes rolling back and forth brief in perplexity. "Please. What is a 'lover'?"

The only way she could respond to such a question was to cover her mouth. _'Oh boy. As I thought.'_ But she quickly switched gears and got behind him, pushing him to the ground. "Now writhe in a crouched position and groan in pain. Preferably loud groans. I'll accept screaming."

Sasori glared uncomfortably now that he and his custom garb were both partially seeped in mud, but he begrudgedly complied. "Oooh, OOOOHHH aaaauuuugh a a a u u u g g g h h h . . ."

She stared down at him shaking her head pitifully. "The hell is that? That sounds more like _bowel movement_, not excruciating pain."

"Well pardon me," he whispered abruptly back up at her, "It's hard to improvise something I don't have a clue about."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh _yeah,_ as if you've never experienced real pain before."

"Don't be foolish," he blew away a mucky brown leaf that had attached itself to his lip from his awkward position in the earth. "Of course I've experienced pain."

"Then what does that mean, 'improvise something I don't have a clue about'?"

He snapped his head around to look up at her from his twisted angle. "It means you hit like a gir—"

She instantly stomped her foot down over his mouth to cut him everything short of a muffled finish. "And LET THAT BE A LESSON TO YOU, MEH BITCH!" She shouted obnoxiously loud enough that anyone hiding in the trees or on the buildings nearby would surely hear. "This is what happens to poor little fucks that talk to Tayuya like so! Now tell me once more; who's my bitch?"

'_Oho. …The girl is an interesting extortionist.'_ Sasori thought in amusement despite the treatment of getting openly stepped on, physically and verbally. _'She agreed to compensate me for this trouble, yet she insists on calling me such hurtful things. …I've got thinking to do for exactly how she should repay me for such bold treatment.'_ He seemed to be more interested than anything to realize that she had no idea who in the world she was playing this game with.

_No_ idea.

There was a slight rustle in the treetops, and Tayuya, looking up from the corner of her eye without managing to shift her head, grinned triumphant. Her instincts were better than ever. Someone was with them. And her honor and dignity were assured and to be kept. You couldn't have someone ratting you out to nearly the whole village, especially marking your prestige and exactly whose village it was. In a land ruled by Orochimaru, only the strong and the ruthless survive and make their way. The thing was…well…she couldn't always be those things. There were certain circumstances where she had to improvise. Did it suck? Sure did. But while being a ninja meant you technically had to have some knack for theater, whether that meant using a poker face against a deadly opponent or some other crap, Tayuya did not enjoy the times where she had to weave her way out of things she didn't ordinarily have the power to just be impolite and smash through.

As soon as she was sure the vicinity was clear, she removed her foot from her brand new colleague's head as he proceeded to slowly rise from the muck. She stepped back, drawing a heave of breath and swept a hand over her forehead in blatant relief. "Sssssshhhhhit that was close…"

"And so it was. For you…" Tayuya turned to see the practical mudman standing out dank in front of her. Now it was _her_ turn to laugh. And Tayuya didn't make a point to cover laughter at expense of others much like anyone like Hanabi did. Oh no.

While she pointed mockingly and openly and laughed a side-splitter, Sasori wiped the remaining sludge away from his eyes. That was the second time a red-haired bitch had found him in the mud. Were all redheaded women so incredibly…impulsive?

'_Come to think of it…'_ he thought suddenly, _'was my mother redhaired?...'_ It was a decent enough question, if not proposed at a random time.

He shrugged and sent clean swipes with his hands down his reddened robes now mixed with the disgusting black of nature and barely managed to acknowledge Tayuya while she still laughed at his dismay. "I don't know what you think you're laughing about, because I've just helped myself into your services until you fulfill the compensation I declared over you."

The message drifted like a slow-flowing current as she continued to laugh, but as it started to weaken, it had become more and more apparent that it had reached her ears.

"HahahahaahahahaaaaaaaWHAT?" Her eyes were no longer closed with bliss, but opened in sheer horror. "Excuse me?"

"Our…deal." His voice dragged and hung at the word, as if turning it into a curse. A curse that a poor young kunoichi was now trapped with. "Don't forget…our deal."

"Wh-what do you mean _services_…? What the hell are you getting at, hey?"

Sasori stepped closer until the entirety of his shadow was eclipsed and closed over her like a dark prison. The wooded hinges supporting his vertebrae audibly creaked as he leaned his upper half to where he was down in her face with an ominous shade over his. His arms hung loosely from under their draped sleeves while he looked at her with enough soberness in his leer to bleed a clown's heart out.

"Our…deal." He repeated in the same tone. This time, Tayuya could've sworn that the reflection mirrored in his eyes shifted. "Don't tell me that you plan on backing out of our…deal?"

"Oh-okay~~ Hey. Okay. Okay okay okay, just stop…ugh, looking at me like that. You're such a creepy faggot, you know that?" She seemed to shrink away slightly from him, barely keeping one eye open afraid to stare back into those eyes of his. Honestly, how the fuck could someone look so calm and so…_mad_ at the same time? "Listen to me," Tayuya overcame her brief fear of staring him in the peeper and recomposed herself, lifting a lecturing finger. "If I'm supposed to owe you something for this little favor, I want it done short, quick, and sweet. Try to hang something over this deal there shouldn't be…" She tightened her fist. Both of them heard the knuckles crackle. "I swear to you you'll leave this village. And your manhood won't be following you home."

This threat, and the very sincere face that came with it, would have been enough to make the most butch man in the location flee with a wet spot lining the back of his pants and a permanent reason never to go looking for any petite girl with flaming red hair ever again. But the thing about the person she was threatening…was that he wasn't infamous for being 'butch'. He was infamous for being _spectacular._

Sasori didn't back down. Never.

"See? Now…why did you have to go and say that?..." He rubbed his eyes. "Now? Now I have motivation to make you regret your words. And since I have a temporary but meanwhile lasting power over you," he stopped rubbing and looked back at her over his shoulder, "I'd say I have a _head start_."

"Tch…" She gritted her tiny fangs at him disdainfully again and kept her nose up. "Just what do you want from me? Why did you go through the trouble to find me out here, dickhead?"

"First off, that's _Okudo,_" he said, frowning at the apparent pet name she already picked out for him. "Secondly, the first part of the leverage I'll spend on you is really no needle prick in the skin. All you have to do is let me _in._"

Tayuya held her sassy accusation for what he was implying a secret and went for the response that seemed more appropriate given her position – alone, injured, with a possibly psycho client. "So as in _'trust'._ You want to get me to _trust_ you. You sound modest of yourself." She leaned towards him and narrowed her eyes evilly. "…A little _too_ modest, maybe."

He took his head aback slightly away from hers with a cringe. "What are you trying to say? So I have character flaws. Modesty isn't one of them, I assure you." He turned himself away, grinning cruelly as took a few steps from his supposed jinchuuriki bounty. "It seems that you have compelled me to run testing of my latest jutsu out on you. I was planning to use this trick against you at a later given time and place…but you've forced things terribly, my dear."

She took a few steps away, getting her guard up. "I expected nothing less out of dirt. What are you scheming, _Okudo?_"

"Hm…hm…hm…I'm _so_ glad you asked." He came close to her fast, concealing both hands behind his back, and his eyes closed, his face curled in a devious smile. Before Tayuya could blink in reaction, he launched in front of her, down onto one knee, and clapped his hands into a clasp before her. His lip furrowed into a sad sulk, and his eyes became comically circular and shimmering bright.

There was no mistaken it.

Sasori's latest secret technique.

_Papi-inu no Fukigen._ The infamous Puppy-Dog Pout.

Tayuya reacted respectively surprised observing his face of sorrow. His lips kept puckered even as he asked his next question with the innocence and drama of Tiny Tim. "You still don't twust me…?"

Tayuya felt a light blush streak along her cheeks. So it was true. The normal, run-of-the-mill slut would've found him…charming… He really did have a tender, gentle, loving feel about him as he looked at her like that. It looked…tempting.

His strenuous efforts to look nothing like a guy who professed in a career that piled up a body count numbering in the thousands earned him a sound smack over the head. Tayuya's aura wasn't filled quite with anger, just annoyance of a scale she found too high to bear anymore.

Tayuya finished her thoughts thoroughly as she dusted her hands together. _'Tempting to break his legs and leave him for dead.'_

"Ack!" He brushed a few strains of hair out of his face. The hit didn't harm him, but honestly, how was he to expect it? "Wha-! How-! I mean…how did you resist it? The jutsu…"

She gave him an easy-going 'you gotta be kidding me' look out of the corner of her eye. "Oh? You mean your fearsome weak-shit-no-jutsu? Yeah, you know what? I have one of those too. Wanna see?" Without bothering to wait for an answer, she proceeded. Uncharacteristically, she gave a small, shy grin and batted her eyelashes like a true young beauty. Sasori sneered with chagrin at her mocking of the perks of his own image.

"That's nothing special. I use my looks to charm. You…" He pointed. "…Seductress."

"Really?" Tayuya stubbornly went along with his accusation, propping up the bangs of her hair and twisting it around her finger. "You think I'm that sexy? Hot damn! Sure, I'll take your word for that~!"

Sasori slapped a hand over his forehead. Was this going anywhere, really?

"This an utter waste of my time and resources. I have work to be done, and I won't see you keeping me from it."

Her playful benevolent features dissipated instantaneously, reverting her back to her old scowling self. "Well fine, if you wanna fucking behave like that, don't let me from cramp your britches, _princey._"

"Puh. If small talk is all you're good for, I could badmouth you all the way back to the village and through it. Until your ears bleed. And you can get another chance to hit me. So far your success rate to do actual damage has been rather low, but I'm sure you—"

"Shush!" She clamped her fingers together to emphasize the 'mum' gesture.

"…Don't shush me, Tayuya of the North Gate." He carried out in a low monotone.

"Fine, will 'shut the fuck up' suffice for you, then? …And that's another thing. Stop calling me Tayuya of the North Gate. It's overstating, overbearing, and just plain fucking annoying. Call me Tayuya, moron."

Sasori crossed his arms sternly. With the demeanor only harnessed by a world-class killer, he turned to acknowledge her again. "Call me that name again. …Call me moron…one more time."

Tayuya looked at him very challengingly then. Very boldly. Standing up straight, she looked him square in the eye. Sasori, observing her every feature and detail, watched her pale, delicate lips gently start to open. In a burst of speed, the incognito puppet master made a long, light, singular jab with his thumb and index finger propped together, and professionally chiseled her right on the shoulder before she realized it.

For a second she felt indifferent. That was until the sensation of her entire left side bursting into searing flames racked her mind. She fell to the ground, paralyzed, her body quickly becoming an inescapable cage with no room for her to writhe or wallow. She recognized a similar pain when she first initiated to become an official ninja for Orochimaru. Poison. The pain of the Cursed Seal he gave her was even worse than that, but this wasn't at all far behind on the suck-o-meter.

"Ugh, argh…what's…" She took deep breaths, realizing that the more she panicked, the faster her heart pumped, the more severe the effects of the toxin would get. Her eyes darkened with realization, and began to weakly work their way up towards the towering figure with a burning hot intensity.

"_YOOOOOOUUUUUU…"_ Instinctively, Sasori took a step back to give her room while she finished a well-aimed flourish of cussing. _"COCK-SUCKING. MOTHERFUCKING…"_

"—Okay, woah now—" He held his hand up.

"_TWO BRASS-BALLED SCROTUM-NURSING PANTY-LAYING BROTHELPRINCESS."_

"Hey now that's just insulting." He pointed out half-heartedly. "Brass balls are a tacky accessory. Don't put us in the same league."

"Did you…" The fires around Tayuya's aura steadily rose. "_Poison_ me? Okudo?"

"Hey, I told you to call me a moron one more time—"

"And I _didn't._" She seethed.

"Oh." He shrugged, with hardly a care less in the world beyond that which was already done. "Well. Woops."

"Yeah. 'Woops.' The deal's off, dipshit. I won't be your little maidservant if this is how bimbos like you treat them. Now take me back to the hospital. _Now._"

"Yeeeeeeees, about that…" Sasori tapped his fingers together a number of times as the explanation went on.

"About _what?_" She demanded, unable to stare at him properly from her disabled position. The pain in her body still swelled and welted like a bitch, but she held it in with severe concentration and endurance. Actually, it surprised Sasori how long she was keeping conscious. Almost impressed him, even.

"Well, both technically and medically speaking, no one alive staffing that hospital can help you. Even if they all happened to give up on their other patients for the sake of only your well-being, ridding you of my…chemical is a task well out of reach." He got down on one knee in front of her so she could hear him better. "You see, Tayuya," he patiently respected her wishes not to flaunt her title every time he said her name despite her unwelcome demeanor. "The conduct for creating an antidote to nullify the specific compounds in the poison is so complex, that even the slightest slip-up could be catastrophic. In order to nullify the set poison – a poison that's probably foreign and unofficial to your medical ninjas, I might add – you would have to have at least as much knowledge as the benefactor of that poison."

Sweat driplets were coming down her face while she continued her struggle to cope with the poison churning around in her bloodstream.

Sasori patiently scratched the side of his cheek. "I may have a way out of this whole…issue. But, then again, it's hard doing something for someone who doesn't even know who to trust… 'How could I just magically make the strain of toxin smothering every cell in her body this very moment disappear and have it benefit me if she is just going to get up and start yelling at me again?' I might ask myself." Tayuya turned to stare at an invisible object beside her in silence. "…But then, ahh, there it is." He got back to his feet and began to slowly walk away.

"Wait…"

He stopped. "What now? Does it start with an F and end with a 'you'?" He turned around to find her shaking her head weakly. "Then say what you have to say, or let me be off. I have a home to build, and a rather uncomfortable time table to see it done."

"What…" She gasped to a sudden pain shooting through her ribs, "what do you want with me?"

"I want what any newbie to the neighborhood wants, Tayuya." He paused to emphasize the answer. "…A friend." He kneeled down and set the upper part of her limp body up by supporting her shoulders and looking into her partially muddy face. "Won't you be my friend, Tayuya? I get lonely." His last statement he baby-talked to her, obviously not trying to make the message seem to intimate with how she seems to keep understanding his words.

"Yeah, I could kinda fill in that detail for myself, thanks." Tayuya murmured carefully.

"Your role will be a smooth one, provided you withhold your foul mouth to a minimum. Friends don't insult other friends, do they?" He looked away and added in an abashed mumble, "Not that I would know—still! It's smooth sailing. You just call me Okudo; I call you Tayuya. You get me informed; I get you vaccinated. You do not call me 'dickhead'; I do not call you 'poor-foolish-girl-that-insulted-someone-she-shouldn't-have-and-is-now-lying-face-down-paralyzed-in-the-mud-like-a-discarded-tool'."

"Okay, I get it, goddamn just shut up! Last thing I need right now is a headache…"

He concluded his offer with the thesis statement. "…You learn to trust me, Tayuya…and I just might return the favor one day."

"What about anything you've done so far makes me think you can be trusted?" She demanded. "I should probably remind you that you _poisoned_ me."

He took one arm away from her while still supporting her with the other, and revealed a very small, very slender weapon, no thicker than a strand of hair. "Kakutasu needles." He declared proudly, holding it the same way he was when he pricked her with it – by thumb and index. "Not to be found at your local ninja tool retailer." He offered a more astute explanation as he put it back. "It's just that, and don't let many other people catch you telling you this, but…mmm, your name calling: _nooot_ so accommodating." He responded honestly. "Not that I care what others think or what trouble you get yourself into, I'm only saying there are quicker deaths to meet at the hands of others as opposed to me. Or Orochimaru. Poison for poison? Danger is a simply fated rig in the grand scheme of things. _How_ you die is a dependent variable – an option for whoever holds your life by the thread. So learn to be mindful with whom you speak to."

"And?" It was Tayuya's turn to act honest. "What's to stop me from double-crossing you after you get this shit outta my system and I leave? I _am_ a ninja, after all."

"Apart from the fear of my tracking you down and starting over again? Nothing but your good conscience."

She furrowed her lip and looked up towards the sky for guidance from the God of Anti-Stupid Decisions. A good conscience… Did she really have one of those? When she had her brief revelation, she finally answered. "Ugh, fine. You make a valid point. Just get me off of the ground. It's cold, and wet, and that bitch-nurse says that if I'm left outside for more than an hour I'd have more to worry about than a few tiny scars."

Sasori stared at her indifferently and reluctantly scooped her body up into his arms, trying to maneuver his shoulders to support her head properly against his chest. A pleasant, indescribable scent mixed with that of damp nature crept into Tayuya's nose. Well, for facts, there were worse people for whose arms to be in. Jiroubou, for instance, was no lilac air-freshener.

"Don't pussyfoot with me, Okudo," she warned him as he resumed his stroll with an extra passenger. "I want out of your arms as soon as possible. I mean it."

"Really," He looked down towards her with a mischievous smirk, "because it seems to me that you're rather enjoying the view. _Shorty._"

"Hey." She warned again. "No fair. That's a legitimate name. See? You're already in violation of the name-call peace treaty. You really can't do a fucking thing right now can you."

He leered down at her with half a mind to prick her with another venomous needle, but ultimately declined. Not that she made the decision any easier. "So be honest with me," he brought up after a while, continuing down the trail as their images faded into the shadows beneath the wilderness, "you _were _going to call me a moron again. One way or another, you were begging to be put on the ground."

"Oh yeah?" Her voice emulated as they shrank into the distance. "Well then I guess you'll just never know, will you? Because you were just too damn giddy to stick around and take a hit after all."

"Well now," he continued to look on to their current destination. "Then I suppose the first thing you'll have to learn about me...is that I absolutely cannot _stand_ waiting."

* * *

The sun had finally broken its way through the clouds over Konoha. Through the remnants of cloud that dusted the afternoon sky, a long arrow of birds flew over a house surrounded by an exotic, almost fluorescent garden. A garden that belonged to a single woman.

After a while, the door leading out to that garden opened calmly, and she stepped out from atop the wooden patio onto the polished trail of stones with a graceful flower watering pot in hand. Her feet patted the ground smoothly as she went up to greet and tend to each plant as was her daily procedure. Sprinkles of water drizzled from the stalky neck of her trusted tool as they lightly dappled the leaves and stems and soil around each individual herb and fern; no flower or crop was ever to be singled out or shrugged off from her tender care. With a pale, flawless hand, she lightly steered her aim, distributing the clear, cool liquid evenly amongst the flora.

_Some_ of the water, however, had managed to seeped down from out of the troughs supporting the plants, and from there carried out around the solid stones of the path from below the gardener's feet, into the earthened soil, down…d o w n . . .deep beneath, slowly being insulated and absorbed as it carried underground.

Eventually reaching down as far as it could travel. Drawing the attention of a strange and curious creature.

From a distance too far for the woman tending her flowers to notice if she wasn't trying, a large patch of dirt slowly kicked around, crackling as it opened asunder. The spines of some incredibly large venus flytrap twisted its way out of the ground and waited, towering solitary over the quiet neighborhood as it seemed to carefully observe its surroundings.

"**Ugh, what **_**now?**_**"** A hostile voice emulated out from between the almost completely shut teeth of the stalk. **"Didn't we have a job to do? Why can you never seem to leave well enough alone?"**

"Didn't you feel it?" A lighter, less-menacing voice permeated out through the same spot. "Such wet dampness…cool and refreshing. I've never felt such cool and refreshing water before. I want to know… I want to know where it came from. I want to know where to find more."

"**Tch, tell you what, I'll take you to the village hot springs if you just get all of your work finished now. I hear the hot springs have good water too. Just leave it be, I beg you."**

The entirety of the dark green mass seemed to shudder despite itself. "No…no way, that water is too hot. Sears the seams, burns the skin… Why are you never so curious like I am? Come on, just one little peek. I know it's around here somewhere."

Zetsu.

From deep below the ground, he had since been working on burrowing tunnels, creating an advanced network of passages directly beneath the relaxed, almost sleeping village of Konoha, intent on completing his assignments as every loyal member of their family should be. With the network near completion, any applicable members, or candidates for members, could roam freely in Konoha by the safest means possible: beneath. From there, they could so much as leave the casual ramen shop, and without even going out into the open of day, enter the Hokage's private offices from there. Such was the beautiful efficiency of Akatsuki's top-temperate man. As soon as he had destroyed or 'disposed' of the last of the evidence that could throw the entire society into a roaring state of panic, he had since crept under, where even there he could continue his work for Akatsuki in peace.

Until now.

"**Fine, fine…if you must take a quick look, help me open up."** The pod began to slowly crackle open, and from out of the black void split down the middle, an eye flashed like a small golden moon. The first thing it beheld was the garden that the woman had been managing. With the playful ecstasy of a child crouched in his hiding place, Zetsu very slowly bore through the soil as he surveyed, a foot still connected steadfast to the ground for which case he would need to make a hasty dive and retreat if ANBU showed up. The bastards were just as good with compromising as the leafy master spy himself was.

He got close enough to the garden gate lined by white picket fences as he deemed was necessary, before using some of his famous Wood Style art to cleanly weave his way through the wood in the fences and avoid the bunny trail altogether. He followed the sound of gushing water – a sound that he was best at hearing anywhere, no matter how little or how plentiful – and burred his way slyly into a stack of hedge, where he spotted _her._

Zetsu's body froze. Like a deer that thought it had been spotted for sure. He froze like an animal that had never seen a human creature before. From where he was looking, he saw the beautiful hair lingering behind the well-toned back of a woman, from who he could already tell from her healthy posture and slender frame, was already an exceptional beauty. He continued to crouch and survey steadily through the leaves hampering his surroundings, making him practically indistinguishable from an especially discriminating eye. He tilted his head left, and then a little to the right. He observed what she had in her hand, that she was now nearly finished using.

He saw the pot that she was using to water the flowers. He saw the care, the excessive care that she yet so lightly seemed to put into what many people throughout Zetsu's unnatural life had deemed nothing more than inanimate objects. But to him, those 'inanimate objects' had pulses. Lives. They had breath of their own. And throughout his life, it became difficult for Zetsu to understand that anyone could ever think as much for it as that.

Yet here was one, right in front of his very eyes. And now that he knew that such a person existed – a woman, no less – he simply had to get a look at the keeper's face. Just one look. And then that would be all he could ask for. Then he could be gone before she even noticed he ever plowed near.

Just _one_ look.

'_Come on…'_ His thoughts murmured as he watched her bare shoulders turn slightly to tend the neighboring row of ferns. _'The dahlia flowers need some attention.'_ He added silently, aware that the bright, crimson flowers lined with gold he spoke of were bedded up right next to him. He was sure to see her face if she would only acknowledge the _dahlias._

'_**Know,'**_ the evil in his mind mentioned, _**'it would be more than easy to eat her if she came close enough. All this waiting and stalking about is so excessive. Aren't you getting…just a little bit hungry?'**_

'_Shut __up.__'_ He could have growled aloud if he wasn't so good at eavesdropping. His glassy yellow eye widened with excitement as he watched her stop and make a sudden turn. _'Yes. Yes! Come now; closer…closer…think of the dahlias…'_

But instead of complying with his mental beckoning, she turned her attention to some elegant white lilies lurking around the upper eastern corner of the garden. Zetsu closed his eyes disdainfully.

'_**Awww, tough break. She'd rather look at the tiger lilies than look at you after all.'**_

'_Aauugh, I'm dying here. I know they're all important. But please! The FUCKING DAHLIAS!...'_ His eyes snapped open again this time to find that she was no more than four feet away. Facing right in front of him.

He held his breath. His eyes trembled timidly when he saw hers. Bright brown. Almost a crisp _crimson,_ even. He had never seen a woman with eyes like those before. The moment to be captivated by them became brief, and he stiffly continued observing as she leaned over almost directly next to him, giving the spy an almost perfect vantage point of the cleavage right above the collar of her shirt. By now, raindrops were comically pouring down the nervous introvert's face like nobody's business. His heart quickened with a rude rush of apprehension.

'_**My Kami,'**_ even his darker side was gaping wildly, _**'look at **_**that.**_** I'll bet there's enough sap to grease up nine great oaks…'**_

'_S-stop! Stop saying things like that at such a time…!'_ His innocent side became squeamish from the combined torture of both inner and outer forces.

His nerves were lightly calmed by the melody of the woman's soothing, tranquil humming as she continued to water the beautiful flowers with her eyes closed in serenity. While she moved on to the lotus flowers, Zetsu had a revelation smack him in the noggin. "I-I've gotta get out of here. This is…this is too much." He tossed and turned awkwardly in his shell, but alas, if he made any specific outwardly movement, especially if this woman was a ninja, she would no doubt catch him.

For the first time in his life, Zetsu felt cornered.

"Who…who _is_ this girl?..." The sentence came out as if he had struggled it through a single lung. "No one has ever made me feel so vulnerable before…"

A few moments of stillness later, a voice shouted from the entrance to the garden, savagely breaking the tension. "Oi! Kurenai! Ya ready to get goin'?" They both snapped their heads to see Asuma waving his arm in a wide arc at the gate.

"Ah," the woman removed her gardening apron and threw it on an empty chair near her, and quickly ran over to grab a headband from a secret compartment somewhere close. "Coming! I'll be right there!" With a powerful leap only accomplishable through chakra focus, she jumped the fence in pursuit of the bearded man that called after her.

Zetsu was left by himself, still an accessory part of the hedge bush.

"**That headband. Hmm, so she was a ninja after all. Well now that you've been to play a while, won't you just get your thick green hide back into the ground and do what you CAME HERE FOR?"**

He must not have heard himself. His eyes were fixated on the distance, around the friendly garden gate that he last watched the woman disappear by. His pupils flashed fantastically.

"Kurenai…" He repeated her name as if it were a gift firsthand from God. The teeth around his face then slowly began to crackle lividly closed once more as the voice continued, **"Oi! Are you listening to me? Pay attention, damn you!"**

The irked voice drowned out as the pod was sealed tight enough to strangle an ordinary man. But Zetsu didn't care. Just so long as no one else in the world could see him blush.


	17. Costumes, Nindos, and Pranks

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

**Chapter 15: Costumes, Nindos, and Pranks  
**

"No."

"You must."

"Never."

"Come out of there, Hidan."

"Fuck you."

Kakuzu tapped his foot impatiently from outside of Konoha's closest rest stop, waiting for his both incredibly hateful and hated partner to step out of the bathroom stalls in his new outfit. His undead eyes gleamed coldly at the young zealot's reluctance to do so. But before setting into the Hidden Leaf Village, it went without saying that the red clouds needed to be dropped. For every perfect deception mission, there needed to be the perfect disguise.

As an atheist ninja, there were a great many things that Kakuzu, the allegedly undying Cadaver of Takigakure, didn't understand about religion. Among those great many things, he didn't understand (nor could he say he cared) about the difference between religions. That included the difference between Jashinism and Christianity.

As such, he had no idea why Hidan was taking his new assignment given by Pein so dramatically, even if it was intended to be his half of their punishment for the recent failure on their part to capture Naruto.

"No one recognizes you but me. Just get out of there before I decide to lay the roof down over your head." His voice croaked sternly.

"Hey, hey," a smart-alecky voice echoed out of the passage door in response, "I'd prefer that all of Konoha knew I was here than to have to walk around it wearing _this_ thing."

The cringe in Kakuzu's nose tightened, much as the furrows around his eyebrows deepened. Instead of sending another threat, however, he selected another tactic. "Look, if you're that insecure about your belief, you should know that no one's outlook toward you will ever change just because of the clothes you wear." A pause for effect. "Even your Jashin's, I'm sure."

There was a hesitance at the door before he got a response. "You…you think so? Really?" A series of clicking footsteps followed Hidan's words as they slowly but assuredly guided him out of the local restroom. He appeared before Kakuzu; draped in all black, down from his slick black sandals up to his long, slender, buttoned coat. In place of the scarred ninja headband around his neck, he wore a white band – symbolizing his association with none other than the Church ministry.

On Hidan's face where once was merely a shy glance was now a white toothy grin, reassured by the old human wallet's words. "Well? How'd I look?"

Kakuzu pretended to analyze him briefly, and then shot him a stoic reply as he turned the other way. "Nope. I was wrong. Your god would be disgusted with you."

Hidan's jaw hit the floor in audible clamor as his double-crossing senior nonchalantly started down without him onto the wilderness trail leading to Konoha's gates. As the incognito zealot rushed to catch up to him, he retorted in outrage. "The hell was that? You say all that shit about people's outlooks towards me not changing because of the stuff I wear and—"

"I know:" Kakuzu answered without looking back at him, "you're an idiot."

They passed several tourists and villagers on the way down the hill, wary of jounin uniforms. Kakuzu himself did indeed stick out more than Hidan, with his abnormal height, sickly eye color, and scars grated into his body. Of course, he made sure that none of that noticed from beneath his white, baggy medical ninja apparel, even though he was royally pissed that he now looked like the world's only zombified space cadet. Fate had a funny way of raping him much more thoroughly than he had to other people's internal organs with the living black laces that kept him strung together.

As the reverend priest and the medical nin made a swift beeline passed a pair of village watchmen, they hurriedly stepped through the hundred foot gate that separated the wilderness from the prospering streets…

"We finally made it, Hidan."

…and Akatsuki's Immortal Duo was free to wander Konoha together.

"Whaddaya mean 'finally'? I've been here before, you know." Hidan remarked with a vain smile, careless of his partner's dangerous eyes wheeling over towards him.

"Doing what, I might ask?"

Hidan's eyes quickly flashed, his smile transformed into something of a lusty smirk. He leaned close to Kakuzu, putting a hand up to the side of his mouth as if he were about to spread dirty gossip. "I met a chick." He boasted. "A hot chick."

A vein began to protrude out of Kakuzu's forehead. "A _what,_ Hidan?"

Perhaps to do something completely uncharacteristic to the priest he was supposed to portray, Hidan broke into a provocative dance, actively slapping his rear to emphasize his point. "A fine spunkeh funkeh spankin' smokin' HOT chick! Woo-ooo~!" Arms in the air, he playfully bumped sides with his taller colleague, who stood firm with his arms crossed and glare indifferent.

"You're supposed to be new to the village, as that reverend, what are you called…?"

Hidan's dance slowed to a stop, and his face turned annoyed. "That damn Leader said I'm Father Heiden. Heiden! What a disaster!"

"If that woman sees you again, she'll know who you are. You should have done away with her earlier."

They were walking side by side passed the markets, passed the Ichiraku Ramen shop, passed the BBQ, up to a dango food stand.

"Hey, relax, baby," Hidan's voice turned cool and smooth, "Konoha Village is, like, a hundred square miles large. There's no way that a single woman I just _happened_ to meet last evening is going to _happen_ to end up right here—she's here." Kakuzu's eyes turned curiously to his partner, who cut himself off midsentence. Hidan's eyes were the size of dinner plates. His own assured speech was completely shot down in a matter of seconds. "She's here, she's here, she's here…shit shit shit." He hissed half to himself, half to the tall man beside him.

Hidan officially began to panic, pulling crazily at his silver hair at the sight of Anko leaning coolly against the dango vendor, enjoying a full stick of her favorite dumplings.

The zealot was steaming under his fake white collar. He looked at her, noticing from the six or seven foot distance that her eyes were closed as she ate her snack. Maybe there was enough time to escape her eyeline if he just started to power walk away. Maybe he could find a way to correct this before it actually became a problem.

Hidan shook his head rapidly and turned his heels completely around. Kakuzu must have seen what he was trying to do, because a sly grin permeated the stitches around his masked mouth, and he slid his foot out just as his partner tried to make a sprint for the other direction. The force of his snuck kick against his tread was so powerful that it catapulted Hidan through the air at an astonishing distance, crashing him into a ninja info cards vending cart. There came the deafening crunches of collapsing wood. Decks of the fun-sized papers flew everywhere, diverting the heads of many children and a few adults lined up for purchases.

Anko noticed too, raising an interested eyebrow.

One particularly sporty kid walked up to Hidan as he lay limp and sprawled on the wreckage of the cart, and pulling off a certain card that had somehow stuck itself to the sacrilegiously dressed Jashinist's nose, gave a smile about a tooth or two short.

"Wo-how, sweet! I've been looking _everywhere_ for this card!" He practically squealed his delight, holding up the card as sacredly as a certain fairy boy did with all of the items he obtained in the _Legend of Zelda._

Cards continuously fluttered to the ground as Hidan attempted to regain his senses. "Who tripped me… The hell…" He held his head until the spirals in his eyes stopped spinning. He set his sight down at Konohamaru, still clinging to his card. Without acknowledging the brat, Hidan made a casual reach for the card he was holding.

This little act did not go unnoticed by the goggle-wearing boy. "Hey! Wh-what're you doing, mister? L-let go of it, it's mine! Mine!" But by the time he had finished the word 'mister', he was already dangling three to four feet in the air by the card, the other side of which was being held by a deadly but only curious scythe-wielding reverend.

Even as Konohamaru whined for the card, Hidan didn't answer, and instead let the kid fall on his butt as he examined the laminated paper.

"_This_ is the card you were after, runt?" Hidan wobbled the picture, almost feeling sorry for the little loser. "It's an effing porker wearing a vest and necklace." He turned it over to reveal the photo of Tonton standing up on her hind legs like a candidate of a professional animal show.

"Not just any porker, Dracula-chan." A woman's voice teased from behind them. They turned in time to see the owner weaving her way around the crowds of people gathered in the streets. Hidan couldn't help but whistle at the way her body moved underneath her fishnet shirt. But before he could do or say anything else, she had a hand already held out to him. "Mitarashi Anko, sport. Nice to meetcha'." She winked in a way that almost made the cold-blooded Jashinist _tingly._

The silver-haired man looked at her inquisitively, and when he finally convinced himself that she didn't recognize him, and that his dickheaded partner had long abandoned him to his own mess, he put on his own sporty grin and took the hand she offered.

"Name's Father—gwaaaaahh~~!" He reacted to the crunching of his bones beneath the woman's not-so-womanly handshake.

"Father 'Gwah', huh? That's an interesting priest name. Are you Episcopalian?" She asked cutely, not letting up any on her grip. Her eyes closed to go with a jovial expression, she also added, "And by the way, this is what you get for sneaking up on a certain lady yesterday."

Hidan's eyebrow twitched in pain, and through a bead of sweat and a gritting jaw line, he replied, "Son of a… You call yourself a lady?... Your handshake reminds me of Dad!"

His patience soaring to the limit, he regained control of his own grip and threw his arm away from her, but not before she claimed the ninja info card he was holding. She turned her head towards Konohamaru and gave him a toothy smile, along with the relinquished trading card.

"There ya go kiddo." She ruffled his bed of brown hair with a playful rub of her hand. Turning back to Hidan, she casually explained, "That card has the Hokage's pet pig on it. Yeah, so she's a porker, what of it. She gets more royal treatment than half the jounin in this whole village."

Hidan snickered. The thought of an animal being treated better than a person. That was borderline hypocrisy to him, and _he_ was the one impersonating a Protestant official. Still, Hidan didn't know what to say around Anko. It wasn't like he knew how a reverend behaved.

"So what _is_ your name, mister?" Konohamaru peeped in, keeping his prize at a thoughtful distance from the dark robed man.

"Tch. Why do you wanna know, brat?" He sneered, casually averting Anko's glance.

"The kid just asked you a question, Sunday schoolboy." She pushed.

"And technically I just asked _him_ a question," Hidan smarted back. "Doesn't mean I go getting _my_ whore to chip in and gag it out of him."

Instead of any kind of outrage, her eyes sparked in tomboyish amusement upon hearing a word as blunt as 'whore' out of him. "So you are a Father, right? What church did you say you'd be doing, exactly?"

Hidan felt his face go numb. Ironic as it was that he hailed from Yugakure, he was really in hot water now. Seeing no other way to break off away from her, he did the most poorly drawn albeit rushed impression of the Holy Trinity ever done three rapid times and shot off the other way down the street, leaving a trail of drifting ninja info cards in his wake.

Anko and Konohamaru watched as he went. The older jounin shrugged and continued on her dango treat.

"That guy was kinda weird, Anko-chan." Konohamaru mumbled, slipping his new favorite card away.

"That's senpai to you, little kid." She shot him with a glint. "But sarcastic jokes aside," she took the final bite of dango off her stake and thoroughly licked her lips of flavor. "I still wanna attend his service."

* * *

A certain blond genin mummified with medical wrappings had just ditched his hospital bed for the sixth time.

Every instant that Tsunade's men apprehended him and took him back to his room was just another instant that he learned something new about covering his tracks. Even when you break rules as a ninja, you still learn how to become a better ninja.

Naruto figured that now was safe to go for some ramen at his favorite haunt, the Ichiraku. It's been three trips since he learned that Tsunade organized stakeouts there to catch him whenever he went for a bowl or five. Since then, he figured that they in turn had also learned that he wouldn't fall for the same cop routine after the third spill. Contrary to what most everyone thought, Naruto actually thought ahead at times like when ramen was at risk.

'_I think I got the better of them.'_ He thought deviously. It was time to go celebrate his hopefully permanent freedom with a meal from Teuchi and Ayame.

Still in his hospital gown, Naruto crept beneath the outside curtains where the best ramen shop in the village advertised its sign, and vigilantly made his way to one of the middle bar stools.

Somehow, the old man (as Naruto called him with amiable intents) recognized the boy without even turning around.

"Good to see you again, my boy." Naruto's stomach became uplifted by the sound of Teuchi's hearty voice. He gave the ramen chef a foxy grin and sat down rubbing the back of his head.

"Hey, old man, what's on the menu this evening?"

"Hoho, you know every ounce as well as I do that it never changes. Will it be the usual for you then?"

Naruto pulled a small froggy purse out from under his shirt and fondled around the mouth until it opened. He counted the yen inside its contents to find that he had enough for scarcely two bowls. Naruto sighed disdainfully. That was hardly enough for him on his worst eating day, let alone while he needed to heal up.

"Awww nuts, how am I supposed to get better for Ero-sennin and Baa-chan if I can't eat enough to get me by an hour?..."

"Hey," Teuchi gave him an encouraging smile, "you could just sneak back again sometime and bring what you would've spent tonight for tomorrow night. Nothing's too good for my favorite customer. Aah—" he quickly turned as if to acknowledge someone else, "n-no offense, sir."

"Nani?" Naruto adjusted himself to catch someone else sipping tea at the very end of the counter. The stranger's face was concealed as he calmly sipped his cup, though the noisy genin noticed his black ponytail. He wore a steel blue outfit with a tall neckband, and nothing in particular about him really stuck out.

'_To think I hadn't noticed him coming in…'_ Naruto thought, baffled by the man's silence. If the guy was a ninja, he certainly knew how to speak like one.

As soon as the young man took his lips off of the brim of his cup, his mouth curled into a tiny smile. "None taken."

Naruto stiffened up. For a moment, he thought he recognized the insincere voice. It was only when he turned his head did he confirm that he knew him. The boy's body couldn't decide if it was thrown into a fever or a chill as he looked at his face, and – more specifically – his eyes.

He took a gasp or two of breath before he could stammer his name. "I-Itachi…!"

The man put a quick finger to his lips, and just like that, Naruto's were sealed tight. Whether it was the work of nerves or genjutsu, he couldn't bring himself to work out another word.

"Naruto," Itachi began quietly, "it's for the very best that no one knows that I'm here right now."

Naruto stifled with a choke.

"Hey, Naruto, you alright there?" Ayame called over with concern. "You look a little green around the gills…"

Itachi got up and approached Naruto's seat. If Naruto could ever have moved from the very moment he had spotted him, it would have been far too late. While the genin struggled for air, Itachi repositioned himself on the seat next to him, making no indication that he would attack.

"Naruto," Itachi took another quick sip of his special green tea, "I know how you must think of me. But I didn't come here for the reason that you presume I did. I'm going to allow you to speak now…if you promise me that you will not make a scene."

Naruto's neck was too tight to comply with a nod, so he did so with a flinching blink. Itachi recognized the sign and ran his finger across the table once.

The genjutsu dispersed, and Naruto could move again. He would have fallen off of his stool if Itachi weren't right there next to him to catch him by the shoulder. The boy violently shrugged his hand off of him as he leaned towards the counter to catch his breath.

"Woah-ho there, easy boy. Don't want you dying on me before ya've had something to eat!" Teuchi laughed, unaware of what just transpired.

"You must be starving," Itachi played, "…for your body to have swayed like that."

Naruto flashed him a deadly glare before shooting back up straight. "What the hell is wrong with you! Why are you here!"

"Why am I here?" Itachi casually reached across the table for a menu and proceeded to open it up. "…To eat a nice hot meal, of course. Why does one come to a ramen shop?"

"You know what I mean!" Naruto persisted. "Last time I saw you, you tried to—" A quick glare from Itachi's Sharingan instantly halted Naruto's interrogation. The genin then fidgeted for an alternative accusation. "Tried to…to get me to pay your…rent money?" Naruto was sweating bullets by the time Itachi bought on to his cover up and dimmed his Sharingan back to his normal eye color.

"I realize that you and I had a…shaky past." Itachi began. "Please allow me to make up for old times." Naruto watched with horror as Itachi unbuttoned his jacket and reached inside; the eccentric ninja expecting in the very least that the S – ranked criminal would have a kunai poised to cut him. By the time Itachi had pulled his own wallet out, Naruto was absolutely shaking and had almost proceeded to meet with the floor a second time.

'_Damn it…all of the sudden…staying stuck in that hospital doesn't seem so bad now.'_ Naruto's thoughts chirped at him.

"Now then," Itachi ushered to the two ramen-makers. "I'll order the beef stir ramen with a side regimen of mushrooms. Please put whatever Naruto is having on my tab as well. I'm paying."

"Oho, is that so, young man? Very thoughtful of you. If anyone ever treats the boy, it's usually Iruka." Teuchi proceeded boil a fresh batch of noodles while his daughter kept with their two customers to make chitchat.

"So you two know each other?" Ayame asked, her eyes dancing peculiarly as she gazed at Itachi. "Naruto here seemed pretty surprised to see you."

At this point, the young genin she was talking about had his chin stumped against the counter in absolute shock, either from the fact that he wasn't dead yet, that someone other than Iruka had jumped out of the blue and saved his appetite by paying for his food, or that the person who was paying for his food was in fact someone that, no less than a month ago alongside a human shark that threatened to amputate one of his limbs, had tried to kidnap him and feed his soul to a hungry statue.

Itachi gave her a polite smile. "We were once roommates, we rented a dorm together."

…Yeah. That last one probably had something to do with it.

"Wa-wait." Naruto sat back up. "So how did you find me here? I thought we got rid of you for a good long time into tomorrow."

"Naruto!" Ayame responded with outrage towards his lacking mannerism. "That's an incredibly rude thing to say to an old roommate." She left his jaw dropped while she turned her attention back to the subject of the conversation, resting her head on her arms against the table. "Sooo~," she started coyly. "What part of the village did you come from…umm…Itachi-kun, was it?"

'_Oi, oi…'_ Naruto thought dryly. _'Ayame-chan must be caught in one of his genjutsus too…'_

Itachi, however, simply kept silent, seemingly ignoring Ayame's question and taking a much deeper interest in the Nine-Tail's jinchuuriki sitting right next to him.

Before long, the main chef came out shouldering copious amounts of bowls on his arms, leaving them out on the table for their two only current customers. "Enjoy!" He said as he departed into the back room. Ayame followed. "H-hope it's to your liking, Itachi-kun! Pleasure to meet you!"

It was dead quiet for several minutes as Naruto and Itachi, who had allegedly killed off his entire family singlehandedly, sat side-by-side together in a ramen shack of all places.

The elder Uchiha was never at all the one to throw the first words out on a conversation of any kind, and he found it sort of surprising that Naruto, who was apparently well-known for his extroversion, didn't seem to jump for the button either. But given their past conflicts, and especially that it connected to Sasuke of all people, Itachi knew it was to be expected.

"…Aren't you going to eat?" Itachi glanced at him from the side. Naruto didn't answer, nor indicate that he had even heard him. He just concentrated on the invisible object over the counter away from the person that he knew for a fact was an Akatsuki. After a series of minutes, Itachi tried again. "…You haven't even reached for your chopsticks. Hm. …Then perhaps I overestimated how much food you needed."

Naruto, the ever-up-for-a-challenge future Hokage, perked his ears up and slid a narrow leer towards the missing nin. Then, turning his attention quietly down to his left hand, he picked up the unbroken pair of wooden sticks for the meal. Itachi watched on with undivided attention as he silently split them apart, dipped them in the broth, and began to drain his first bowl at a gradual and cautious rate.

It wasn't until he had gotten down to slurping the bowl with his mouth that Itachi chose to ask his next question. "So I hear you were close to Sasuke."

Naruto openly gagged and choked on both the soup and noodles, and the bowl flew over the counter area as his body reacted to the shock. Naruto doubled over his seat, coughing up the last of the half swallowed meal, as the senior Uchiha turned to look on casually with his hands clasped together in front of him. "…Like two peas in a pod then, eh?"

'_Wh-where the hell are Kakashi-sensei and Ero-sennin…'_

"Not that it matters." Itachi continued. "That's how he and I once were too. And as you've witnessed, it's astounding at how such affectionate feelings from one person for another can change as soon as a single day."

"Stop screwing like that!" Naruto cut him off, wiping the residual traces of the soup off his face. "You know why Sasuke hates you! And also, you should know why I hate you too!"

"Hate me…" Itachi looked at him indifferently, if nothing else. "Is that how you feel... Why we hardly even got to know one another yet."

"I don't need to know someone who murdered his family in cold blood and left his brother to fend for himself."

This widened Itachi's eyes slightly. "Kakashi. Meddlesome as always. Provided unless of course it was the Toad Sannin that told you this?..."

"This has nothing to do with them." Naruto shook his head. "This has only to do _you_ and all of the problems and pain that _you've_ caused other people!"

Itachi looked at him with an expression all too impossible for him to read. Then he turned and stared into his own ramen bowl. "I know that everyone thinks I'm terrible. …And I know that in retrospect, they're all right at every turn. But the night that you're referring to – the night I destroyed my clan – I did all that for reasons that kept this village at its best interest. And those are reasons that you and my brother are simply far too young to understand."

"How!" Naruto shot at him, ignoring his excuse. "How could you think that you resolved anything just by killing—"

"Everyone," Itachi raised his voice to interrupt Naruto's. "Everyone has their own nindo. Their own ninja way. Each of us has our own goal. And in this flawed world; this world filled with bigotry and preconceptions, the goals of one may be very different from the goals of the others, and so the others mistake it for wrongdoing. Mine is such a goal as that. You, Naruto. Your goal is to become Hokage, am I wrong? Has anyone ever put you down, doubted you, said that you were a fool and that you were out of your mind because the idea seemed so fantastical?"

Naruto was startled about how Itachi decided to compare nindos with him. He was right about one thing. They both seemed very different and unusual from other lifelong goals.

"You think about how you judge others and their lifetime ambitions only after you take a good look at your own. You will never become Hokage, Uzumaki Naruto. Not today, and not tomorrow. Likewise, I will never be understood or forgiven for what I have fulfilled." Itachi got up and slowly turned towards the exit. "Not today…and not tomorrow."

"Huh? W-wait a minute." Naruto tried to sound louder, but the words were lodged in his throat.

Itachi stepped outside. Though Naruto followed him right out, when he reached the outside into the night air, the man who had treated him to ramen was gone. But in the distance, Naruto could have sworn that he heard the fluttering of wings.

"There you are!" Two men jumped Naruto from behind. Before they even brought him to the ground, he already knew what they were.

Leaf jounin.

"Tsunade-sama wants you back in the hospital asap, Uzumaki Naruto." The taller one wearing an animal mask told him.

Naruto looked up at him, but said nothing. He didn't feel like resisting this time. Instead, he started with them back towards the place from where he was so anxious to be away from earlier, to where there was no other place he'd rather be to think for a while.

* * *

Tayuya shot up in her bed, dank with cold sweat. She panted for several moments in the dark, somewhat confined room before her breathing calmed and her heart stopped trying to leap from her chest. This time she didn't bother trying to sort out where she was. All she did was call out, "Alright, NOW how the hell did I end up unconscious?"

She looked around at the dim-lit room, and listened around. It felt dank and smelled musty. From the tip of her ears, she caught the sound of clattering wood scrambling from one side of the room to the other. At first she thought it was against one of the darker walls. Then she thought it moved beneath the bed she was lying on. And by the time she heard it move to the ceiling, a voice screamed down at her,

_"PANTHER!"_

A horrid shape swooped for her from up high and piled onto her bed just as fast as she started screaming in response to the voice. Sasori himself also detached from the ceiling and came down to meet her as she continued to acknowledge and react to his playful prank.

"AAAAGGH! FUCK! SHIT! BITCH! CUNT!" He smiled as he watched her flail in her bed like a turtle on its back tangled with the remnants of one of his older, more obsolete puppet models. As soon as movement in the sheets ceased, she stood up crooked like an uneven Jenga tower; her flaming red hair a complete frazzle.

Before she could let him know what she thought of him, he spoke first, "Oh did you see that, it actually wasn't a panther after all. It just turned out to be one of my old statues. I saved you."

Tayuya held her breath in thought for a moment, only to ask, "…What?..."

"Saved you." He repeated, pointing to her chest. "You were in pretty bad shape when I brought you here. Not even from the poison, but it turns out you had low body temperature too. Any longer out there and you would have had real troubles."

"Uh-huh. And for that reason you decided to drop a puppet on me just as I was coming out of a mini-coma."

"That was just to remind you how fortunate you are that it was just a puppet and not a wild panther that would have broken into the room at a less fortunate time."

She furrowed her lip thoughtfully. "Mm – can't argue with that logic."

He reacted. "Really?"

Her aura burst into roaring flames. "NO! DIE!" She snatched all of the pieces of the now disassembled puppet, small and large, up in her arms and began lobbing them continuously at him, one after the other. They flew for him at astonishing rates, and he tore one of the loose tiles out of the floor just in time to block against the mad girl's impacts.

'_Her healing factor has surpassed even my own expectations. This must not be ignored.'_

As soon as she ran out of pieces, he put the tile down. "Did you get all that out of your sys—" A brick flew in and crunched the left side of his face before he ever finished his question. His whole body swung back and hugged the wall as he recovered from the trauma of her last surprise projectile.

"Better put some ice on that, honey!" She jeered as his hearing returned.

Sasori felt the long crack down his left cheek. If he still had his real face, bones would be undeniably broken. This girl was getting much more dangerous to fool around with.

"Okay," he called, trying to buff the crease out with a cloth. "Truce. That's enough. On to business. I suppose you're wondering why you were unconscious again, huh?"

"Durr-hey. That's why I asked 'now how the hell did I end up unconscious'. Jesus, I _try_ to make these things as _obvious_ as possible…"

"Notice your lack of a shirt?"

Tayuya looked down, and then immediately pulled the sheets up over her chest, staring wide-eyed at the grinning puppet master crossing his arms at the doorway.

Her reaction, however, was rather calm. "You like 'em young, I see?"

He shook his head. "Chastise me if you will, but I reapplied your bandages. The effects of the poison have mostly subsided and the only residual scar tissue is—"

"You touched my boobs!"

"I didn't go near your boobs. Sheesh."

Tayuya lied back down on her bed, realizing for the first time how fatigued she actually was. The missing sand nin recognized this too, so he thought it was safe enough to walk over and sit on the corner of her bed. "Young lady, if this is going to work, you need to fess up and trust me. As tempted as you are to think differently, I nursed you back to health. I'm not as big a team player as you, but I'll do my part to make sure we survive if you only promise me that you'll act the same."

She wouldn't look at him. She scowled at the dark corner of her bed with her arms folded.

He continued to stare at her pensive shoulders. "Orochimaru thinks you're special because you survived getting the Cursed Seal. You're fourteen. Blessed with good genes, but still a kid. What can you do?"

She ignored her exhaustion for the moment and grabbed him by the front of his robe. "You think I'm weak, dipshit? You think I haven't seen it all, done it all? Think I survived to the age I am because Orochimaru-sama took pity on me?" He only looked at her with open eyes and a slight smile. "You know _nothing_ about me, trash. _Nothing._ You haven't got shit on me enough to talk to me like that, so don't you dare even _start._" She poured venom into her words and at last let him go with a push.

"It's difficult to see things through your perspective, Tayuya." Sasori began. "And I'll bet the very same could be said about me from you." He heard her scoff. "I would have asked you about your past, but just something about your face discouraged me from even trying. Even if I had any interest – even if it was any of my business, do you assume to say that it's still my fault that you don't tell me anyway?"

"You are so full of shit. Just leave me alone."

"Leaving you alone won't make you feel better about me. If anything, it'll make your feelings against me grow even fiercer. I don't need that. Instead, why don't I give you something nice?"

She turned and looked at him from over her shoulder. Her brown eyes narrowed with doubt. "What could you get me that I'd want outta you?" She hissed scornfully.

"An apology roughly about two feet long."

She pushed herself up again. "Huh?"

In front of her, Sasori was already holding something of hers that she had already missed very much. The long, slender battle flute that had led her to many victories as a prestigious member of the Sound Four.

She was surprised to see it again, but she was reluctant to think whether she should accept it from her new so-called partner or not. Accepting a present from someone like that to her was like excusing an asshole for being an asshole just because of a material gift. She hated to be thought of as materialistic, as much as it might be true.

Sasori's patience was waning. If winning the forgiveness of someone else always took this long, he was certainly glad that he didn't care about forgiveness ninety-five percent of the time. But he sucked it in and waited. Waited to see what she'd do.

"Come on, Tayuya," he nudged, "it's good as new."

She reached a hand out for it and slowly took it from between his. She carefully examined the keys and ligaments of the instrument, all of which were perfect as far as she could tell. She smiled for a while, but was quick enough to avoid showing her approval.

"A-ahem, fine. Fine. What do you want?"

Sasori turned his head, perplexed. "I don't recall saying that there were strings attached."

"Stop screwing me. Just tell me what you want in exchange for the flute."

"Don't make me repeat myself." He warned sternly.

She recoiled with a couple of blinks. "You're…you're giving me this for nothing? That's…y-you...you're a weird person." At the moment, that was all she could really think to say as she licked her lips to give a few test blows into the new yet familiar genjutsu weapon.

"What makes me weird about this? A flute has no value to _me._"

"No it's…" Tayuya blushed awkwardly, lost for words. "Huh, nothing."

She turned her head away to hide her change of color. What she could have told him was that no one had ever done anything for her without saying that she owed them. But the only thing that letting him know about that would accomplish was his pity, which she couldn't possibly give less of a shit about. His pity was just as valuable as Orochimaru's, which was to say that any form of pity was worthless to her. The only thing that mattered to her was survival. That's why the flute mattered.

Sasori shrugged and started to walk out.

"Okudo." She spoke over her shoulder after a time, stopping him just before he reached the exit.

"Hmm?" He stopped and looked back at her, a hand on the doorframe.

"Um…I accept your apology err…whatever." It came out as a mumble, more or less, and then she said nothing else. Only sat cross-legged on her bed, closed her eyes, and reveled as she played her flute once again. It sounded louder and smoother and more brilliant than ever before.

He stared at her, deadpanned for a moment, and then without a word, left.

As he crossed outside into the nighttime sky, he spotted with a keen eye a messenger bird swooping circles down until it landed on the black bed of his hair. Without moving it from its perch, he detached the small parchment from its talon and unwrapped it.

He read the bold print, ignorant of the bird now nesting on his head.

_**New Mission.**_

_**Travel to the Land of Rice Patties. Spies inform us that the Fūma Clan has lasting conspirators against Otogakure. You are ordered to take your teammate(s) to find and dissuade them. As always, your service to the client and community is much appreciated.**_

_**A – Rank.**_

_**P.S. Killing Tayuya is off-limits. **__**Don't do it.**_

"Love, Kabuto." Sasori finished reading the paper just in time to look up and see the messenger bird it came with coo and raise its tail feather over his face. The next moment he knew, a gob of pasty white feces plopped in, burying one of his eyes.

"…Super."

**A/N: Whew. Well, I found the inspiration I was looking for to write this next chapter, anyhow. It's called a spontaneous pneumo thorax. You fellow victims or medical smarties out there might recognize that as a collapsed lung. So I've been hospitalized, and writing. I for one can definitely tell you how good Sasori has it since he only ever has to watch over one vital organ. I don't know about him, it would KIND OF piss me off to die under that single, very low-maintenance condition. Just saying.**

**Please R&R to help my lung get better, faster. Blessings and thankies!**


	18. Atrocity and Nemesis of the Sea

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

**Chapter 16: Atrocity and Nemesis of the Sea**

Sasori walked back into the storage space of his hovel where he left his new and newly indisposed partner. He held the door open behind himself and stood there for several moments to let the daylight flood in, seeing if she would acknowledge him on her own.

When she inevitably didn't, he unceremoniously slammed it shut to make sure she inevitably _did._ She jumped with the trauma and snapped to face him with her customary heated scowl.

This time, he didn't stop to bask in her reaction.

Instead, he slipped the letter out and tossed it softly by two fingers, letting it gracefully float its way to her lap. "Read," he ordered stoically.

Her unfriendly eyes searched his for a moment before she turned even half of her attention towards the paper he dropped. She finally picked it up and lashed it harshly with both hands before reading, stating in her own little way what she thought of his bitchy commands.

He gave her what seemed halfway between a smirk and a stern glance before finding his way to a plain wooden chair in the middle of the room. He forced it to the far corner with his leg and sat away from her in the shadows. Aside from the skinny rays of sunlight seeping through the boarded windows, the only real light source in the gloomy mansion was the oil lantern hanging beside Tayuya's bed.

As soon as she finished reading the letter, she simply ripped it in half, folded, and then proceeded to rip again. She chucked the tatters adrift, letting the large flakes of the assignment float uneasily around her bed space while her unlikely partner took spectacle from his shady spot. Afterwards, the girl crossed her arms stubbornly and gave him a daring look from her bed, and soon after, a low, groaning creak emulated from the corner as he leaned his chair back on its hind legs and folded his own arms in question.

"Okay, I'll pry. Why did you tear up our mission?"

She spat to one side of her bed. No one could possibly see how he reacted to this behavior from the darkness he watched her from. "I don't team up with people who aren't even ninjas." She replied with that hint of scorn in her voice she always kept good supply of.

The gloom around the corner he lounged in grew silent for a moment. Then his soft voice permeated the cold. "No?" The chair creaked again, but this time, it was followed with slam back down on all fours. He was up before anyone knew it; his tall shape stood upright, and he stepped out of his spot and to the foot of her bed. When she could see his face clearly against the orange lantern light, she noticed some blotches of white still glued to his cheek.

She crinkled an eyebrow. "Is that…bird shit on your face?"

He ignored the question. "What do I have to do to win your respect? Beat you at a spitting contest?"

"Hmmmm…" She dabbed her chin with a finger. "Not a bad idea. In fact, ladies first."

Before he could even cock his head, she made a rather unladylike nasal sound and sprang a long jet of her saliva at the puppet master. He didn't flinch even as it made contact with his cheek, springing to all sides. He gave her a concerned look, and then wiped the offended side of his face with his long sleeve.

As soon as he was polished enough, his arm dropped back to the side, and he stated with a courteous smile, "Thank you. …I believe that's the last of the bird shit."

Then, as if she had been rudely snapped from a dream, he dropped the charade and lunged at the bed all in the same flash instance, causing her to actually let up with a brief, startled scream. His impact against the mattress kicked up a huge cloud of dirt, smothering both of them with dust bunnies. Tayuya gagged openly. She had no idea that the man-bitch had left her bed so unsanitary even before putting her in it.

Even as her thoughts jumped, Sasori didn't relent. He toppled her chest and pinned both of her arms down with his knees. Then he pulled a kunai knife and held it horizontally, finger by finger, as if to measure. "Do you know what this is?" He asked her dangerously close up. "Do you know what I can do to you?"

She gritted her fangs. "Do it then! You wanna kill me? Be a fucking man and just do it! Show me you've got it in you!"

He twirled his wrist in a disturbing way and readjusted his grip on the ninja tool. Then he jerked it aggressively as if he would take her eye with it. "STAB!" he shouted in her face. Both of her eyes shut tightly in a flinch, and she bit down hard on her lip. "You're dead." He added calmly.

She recovered a bit and struggled more. "Wha- the hell are you fucking—"

"STAB," this time, he pointed the tip at her throat. "You're dead."

"The fuck is—"

"Stab—" Her temple. "You're dead."

"—going _on?_"

"Stab, stab, stab, stab, stab," he explored all of her vital areas at bladepoint as if he wasn't even thinking of them, all the while ignoring her confused protests. "Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead."

She finally fell completely silent. Only then did he dismount her torso and pull her up with the front of her shirt. "I'm not a jounin. But know what I _can_ do? I can kill you eight times in eight seconds. And I tried – I _really_ tried being nice, you know. I call for a gentle touch, but I can see that you're the kind of girl that would rather be pushed. So what do I do? I push."

She struggled against his grip, but no good. Her body still ached like hell, and now it had to shrug off a _poison_ of all things bad and fucked.

He turned her towards the chair he sat in. "Push." He stated the verb as he did it. She almost soared into it at the force he gave, sending a few unnamed knick-knacks crashing to the ground as the chair caught her bottom.

Sasori didn't normally get violent with someone – at least not so personally – but every impatient killer had a bar, and she had already struck that today.

"Feeling a little friendlier now?" He asked, standing before her as she slumped between the arms of the beaten wood.

One of her eyes was closed in a painful wince, and she trembled to readjust herself. "That's…" She started with a pained grunt. Then she took up a grin that surprised him. "A little more like it."

"Eh? What's this, then?" He narrowed his eyes.

"What, you're not stopping _now?_" She gave an almost disappointed frown. "Come on, hit me again! Feels good! Feels like I'm back home! It may not be Sakon or Kimimaro, but I'm not picky."

He frowned. "What are you babbling about, girl?"

"Oh but don't you know, Okudo-kun?" She cooed. "That's how we do things around here. Oto isn't a village where we thrive on touchy-feely feelings for one another. Here, it's a god damn madhouse. We exist here because we're strong." She coughed painfully before she regained composure. "Here, if you don't have killing in you, you're not needed or wanted. You're either an animal, or one of the spineless fuckers out there they call 'human'. How do you think Orochimaru chose me?" She struggled to stand. Sasori gazed at her in such a way that someone could assume that there was nothing on his mind at all. "…Now I'm just waiting to see what the man sees in _you._" She stood up firm and strong to egg him on. "So come on, trash! Let's go again!"

"What he sees in me." He repeated while he dusted off his shoulders. "How lame. Is that why you think I'm here? To be an animal like you? Don't flatter yourself. I'm here because I have a reason to be, and nothing more. That Orochimaru chooses to accept me is between only us. If you're so near-sighted and scared to think that the only way you can survive is by being nothing but savage, you must not recognize the difference between you and me."

Her face blushed with anger. This time, she raised her voice. "Bullshit! How much difference could there be? I'm a kunoichi of the Sound! Could you say you've been through as much? Faggot?"

"You're right," he agreed. "I'm not like you. I'm not a kunoichi."

"Tch! Smartass…" Tayuya could have sworn she felt the Cursed Seal on her neck start to vibrate.

"All that you've done up to now is create assumptions that appeal to you. And maybe the biggest of all those assumptions is that a person has to be a ninja to be strong."

"So prove it otherwise!" She sneered. "How does being a normal person; being restricted from chakra and jutsu – power – mean that you're strong? All you did was attack an injured girl from a bed. What kind of shit have they been feeding you down there? Where is your fucking logic!"

"Logic isn't a problem with me," he insisted. "But I'm sure that someone as prejudiced as you wouldn't care whether or not it was. Poor girl. You've been living blind. But for all that it's worth, keep that way. I won't try to change you. As for me…" He kneeled down to one of his fallen puppets, now in practical shambles, and cradled it delicately by its ugly head. "I believe that humans…well, most humans…have a bigger and brighter purpose for existing than just to be torn apart by each other." He proceeded to walk past Tayuya, out the door back into the light. "Sometimes all they need to do to realize that is come to the right person. But...let's just say I can definitely sympathize with your outlook." His calm face hardened. "Not to say there was any call for what you did. Spit on me again, bitch, and you'll be tasting nothing but numbness and floor wax for the rest of your days."

He let the puppet go. It clattered loudly against the floor as he slid the door open and stepped out. Then he turned back, and as if he had completely forgotten about the argument, casually asked "Any groceries you want? …I'm getting supplies before we head to the Land of Rice Patties. Because whether or not you tore up that missive, we still have the mission, you know."

Instead of answering, she just looked away, still sitting in the chair.

He took the hint, and slid the door shut.

She was on her own again, sitting with just the small beams of light and particles of dust haunting the air at her company. She seemed to hold her breath for the longest time, and broke her own silence with a mutter.

"Hmph… Blind, huh? You're all talk. Piss off…" But then a sharp pain coursed through her neck. Her Cursed Seal. She grimaced, clutching it with one hand while she steadied her woozy, throbbing head with the other. "Ugh...what the hell just happened to me?"

* * *

The human puppet departed from the porch.

With an exasperated sigh, he glanced around cautiously, than breathed softly on his necklace. It glowed with an ominous green. On cue, he heard a light clatter of roof shingles and looked up to see his agent, Bloody Mari, crouching passively on his house like a decoration meant to frighten demons away. She stared down at him with inanimate eyes and a stiff face; only the locks of black, tattered hair drifting in the soft breeze were what moved amongst the girl.

"Make sure she stays put. She becomes any trouble, you know what to do."

The puppet's rusty eyes shifted creepily as it watched its master leave.

He walked up to the village square and took note of the crossroads he was standing on. They sprang out in four cardinal directions.

He turned one direction, dedicating each area to memory. _'North Base.'_ He turned his head to survey. _'One of those damn experimentation labs he's so proud of.'_

Sasori's memory was almost photographic. He instantly recognized faces of people he had seem before, even in large crowds he passed only once. It was his especially high IQ that made him famous for every high class jutsu he knew, handsign for handsign.

Taking in his environment, he quickly made a mental map and proceeded with his errands. He was happy to go by himself. He didn't need any certain steam-headed girl haggling for what to get with him every step of the way.

Not that any of the venders looked positively jovial to do business with him, but Oto was surprisingly well-stocked. Sure the city sort of looked like grotesquely optimistic landfill, but at least Orochimaru owned a village. If he didn't, then Sasori would have just been disappointed. He couldn't expect that anyone would be willing to keep a defected Akatsuki member well-funded, cozy Sannin reputation or no. But then again, Orochimaru always had the palpable power of persuasion.

Did Sasori need anything of his own for this mission? Nothing long of a few ninja tools that needed replacing. The human puppet was not high maintenance; his fighting style was. Recognizing his irritating partner's inevitable need to eat, drink, and sleep, he perused a few food carts, and then followed up with a convenience store to fetch her a rollup futon to recline on. Bitch or no, this was as much about getting Orochimaru to drop his guard as it was about winning his target's trust.

Looking at him, no one would think that Sasori was carrying a single coin. Everyone agreed that he always looked so…light. At least outside of baggy old Hiruko. But the puppeteer had long since taken to Kakuzu's advice. There's no cozier place for your money than yourself. The ancient man kept only some of his savings in that big briefcase he always hauled around, it's true. But later on, he would take the money out and cram it under his own skin much like you would think to do with your old mattress. The method struck morbid to Sasori at first, but over time he began to see the logic. In spite of how gross it looked, the weird black slime that the treasurer of Akatsuki kept under his hide actually kept the money clean, while coating it in a durable substance that kept it from wearing and tearing. This method of handling his cash earned him a strange nickname - the "Human Wallet".

Admittedly Sasori didn't have any symbiotic slime of his own, but he did have the art of wright and engineering. In his torso was a hollow compartment exclusively for money-keeping. He was many things, including his own private bank.

Making sure nobody suspicious was eyeballing him, he snuck a hand under his cloth and opened the small cell containing his savings. He pulled out a handful of cash and coin, and made his purchases accordingly. He _was_ happy to shop without anyone bitching him along, but that didn't stop him from hating the errands. He always left the shopping to Deidara. He never went out; not a huge people person. But if the Sound girl really was what he tried so hard to convince Pein that she was, he'd be gloating for weeks to come after he finished up with her.

Hours passed. By the time he was all done, the day was dying. He hauled the bags of supplies back to the place he kept Tayuya. Normally he would use one of his transportation puppets – such as Hiruko – as a wagon for them instead, but he'd rather not show off his Suna-exclusive talents in open water. _'When I talk to people about how long it's been since I used myself, I didn't really have this kind of thing in mind.'_ He thought from under a strain.

The unlikely shopper nodded to Mari as he approached the steps, and she departed from her post with a whistle and whirlwind of dead leaves.

He opened the door to the large hovel and helped himself in. "Got your medicines." He announced with his arms full of bags, "foods…water…other miscellaneous crap." Even a squint from his eyes couldn't make him see any better. The oil lamp was hardly burning. The place was dark as a tomb. "That's okay," he called. "I got light bulbs too. Though might I boast that the feudal age candles and lanterns were an elegant touch."

No answer. Not a single curse.

"…Tayuya?" He called, shambling his way over to the bed with his extra loads. He set them on the bed and proceeded to refuel the lamp. "Answer me." The room became recognizable again with newly rekindled light. He surveyed the area and spotted something lying motionless on the ground. Something that looked…smartass girl-shaped.

His eyes sparked with alert. Perceiving the dire situation, he paced to her rescue and threw her arm over his shoulder to bring her to her feet. Her head bobbed groggily, but a groan escaping her lips was just enough to prove that she was still alive.

He walked her slowly towards the bed. "Idiot," he scolded even as he rested her head against the pillow near the groceries. "Why do you keep overdoing yourself?" But then he looked back at the dust-kicked spot where she must have fallen and realized. She didn't move from that chair since he left her. And that means…

He hung his head to his own stupidity. How long had it been since she had actually eaten something?

He put his ear to her mouth to listen for her breath, since feeling for her temperature was kind of a loss with him. She was taking slight exhales, but barely strong enough to fog a mirror. He ruffled his hair. _'Shit. I almost killed my jinchuuriki just by shopping for it. Am I really so terrible at this lifeguard thing?'_ Without wasting another moment, he dug into the bags and pulled out a jug of water, a bag of grapes he got on the market, and a small canister of pills he fashioned and prescribed to her himself.

Pouring a glass out for her and giving the tablets an urgent shake, he dropped one into the icy beverage. While he let it dissolve, he hastily rinsed the fruit and prepared to wake the ailing kunoichi again.

"Hey. You." He shook her gently. "I'm talking. To you. On. Start. Play. Run. Activate." He tried all sorts of robotic commands to bring her back to consciousness, none of which seemed to do the job. He ultimately sighed stressfully and leaned in. He was inches from her face when he mumbled, _"live."_

Her eyes shot open, and she instinctively pushed him away from her as she panted doggedly. Between her sickly skin and the beads of sweat on her forehead, Sasori didn't need to check her temp to know how dehydrated she was. And now wasn't the time to get snippy with her. Senseless as he learned she was, she might even refuse to let him save her depending on what she thought his intentions were.

She wasn't even strong enough to hold a scowl up to him. All she did between breaths was whisper from a weak, coarse voice "Thirsty…"

"I know, Tayuya," He took the glass of water from the nightstand and held it delicately to her mouth. "You need to drink now."

Her eyes seemed to glint at him in defiance for a moment, but it was a very short one. She complied with his instruction. He continued to hold the beverage to her lips until she eventually put her own hand to it to show him she was strong enough to hold it on her own.

He stepped away, giving her room to breathe, deciding that it was too much to hope for that she'd be complaisant enough to let him put the sheet and blankets back over her.

She guzzled the entire glass in what seemed like two gulps, afterward wiping her mouth with a refreshing quench.

"More." She demanded plainly, her voice already stronger and clearer.

He nodded and proceeded to pour another glass. Somehow he felt that the medicine he slipped in the water would be better left unmentioned. Who exactly knew how she would take it. "You should eat, too," he suggested.

"I'll eat if I'm hungry." she declined with irritation. "Right now I'm dry and flaking like a fucking fossil, so shut up and hurry with that drink."

"It's right here," he replied in a tone bordering the impatient. To her he was already holding a renewed supply. "Now do as you say."

She jerked it from his hand, spilling a few drops, and saturated herself again. Sasori went back to his chair, feeling as if he had violated some sacred accord with himself just by helping her.

By the time he was through with her, well over half of the water in that big jug he brought over had been depleted. "Yikes," he smiled softly. "You drink like a camel." She frowned at him, ungrateful for the remark. "How are you feeling?" He added.

"…Better." She turned her head away. "…For how much _you_ must care."

"Tayuya, if I didn't care, I would've just let the floor keep you."

She snapped her head back to confront this comment instantly. "Then why _do_ you care?" She burst. "Huh? Because last time we spoke, I almost got you to kill me."

He narrowed his eyes sternly. "You do love holding on to your grudges, don't you? If you're curious, it was to show you how not to spit and curse someone at least while you're still bedridden."

The word 'bed' triggered an unpleasant memory in Tayuya. "And that's _another_ thing!" She persisted, "Where did you get your damn diploma in medical ninjutsu for possibly thinking it was sanitary to put your patients in beds without bothering to clean up after the _mummies_ that were there first?"

"It was either the bed, or the hard, cold, equally dusty floorboard. But look here," he fished something else out of one of the bags. "Have a futon." He tossed it out to her lap, and she snorted indignantly at it.

"Wonderful. What does this one have, smallpox?"

He smiled sportingly. "One way to find out."

"Bullshit. There're two ways. You could shine a black light on it, too."

Sasori facepalmed. Now she was just saying things all to prove him wrong. "Well they didn't exactly sell_ those_ at the market, so why don't you just consider sleeping in it."

"Why don't _you_ just consider shitting in it, fucking it, then choking yourself on it instead." She sneered. "I have a bigger one back at the barracks, anyway."

He rolled his eyes. "Little angry girls really shouldn't be spouting fire in glass rooms, you know…"

"Thanks Confucius, whatever the hell _that_ means."

"It means be grateful." Her frown diminished and she turned towards him to see what a serious change of tone he had. "Nobody wants to save a little girl that can't even express gratitude. _I_ certainly wouldn't." Flushed with outrage, she hastily opened her mouth to respond, but he cut her off. "And before you say that you won't need me again, consider this. Did you imagine that this kind of thing could ever happen to you, thinking back a week ago, when you were preparing to fetch Sasuke-kun for Orochimaru?"

Her surprised eyes grew larger. "How do you know about—"

"Did you ever imagine that you'd meet someone like me who would make so many attempts to keep you alive? Or did you plan on simply throwing your life against a brick wall again and again for Orochimaru until it finally busted its chop?"

She was speechless. But instead of pouting the other way whenever she got into similar disagreements with Kimimaro or lost an argument with Karin, she simply looked at him. Maybe it was remembering who had gotten her the flute. Maybe it was remembering who had gotten her a gift, nursed her back to health, and did it all without so much as "you owe me". But why? Why would he go so far for so little? She wanted to ask him this question so badly, but because of her…well…maybe unreasonable response, it was needless to even hope that she deserved a straight answer at this point.

Maybe…maybe she needed to handle the approach differently. Maybe part of getting to tolerate her new teammate was more about – hell – at least not spitting at his face for bringing her into his new home, however musty and unkept.

"What is _wrong_ with you? I just gave you a flute, revived you, and you continue to badmouth me. Just tell me what I'm doing to make you hate me so much."

"I..." She put a hand to her head again. She suddenly felt weird; disoriented again, like the first time she lashed out at him earlier in the day. "I don't know what to say. Just...mad, I guess." She fidgeted uncomfortably. It was all she could do. She didn't know why she was so defensive towards him. Maybe it had something to do with her last mission. None of the staff at the hospital wanted to talk about it. Couldn't hurt to ask Kabuto what he knew before they headed out for the mission. Just so she was certain she wouldn't endanger it. She just felt so...weird.

"'Just mad you guess.' OH - mystery _solved._" He gave a sarcastic clap and got up. "I'm sorry. I think I need to be away from you a bit longer. Help yourself to the food I got when you're ready to eat, and bask in what's left of the time you have away from me. It won't last." He walked towards a pass probably leading to another part of the house. "When you're healthy enough to walk again…we have our first mission together."

Her heart gave a slight flutter, worried that she might be missing her chance to turn the discussion around. But all she could manage out was "Look forward to it…" And she wasn't sure if he even heard her based on the volume she used.

She gazed down at her almost bare lap silently, as if trying to rediscover where she was - _who_ she was - perhaps unaware that Sasori was watching her sit for a bit longer from around the corner, before turning his heels to fully exit the room, a slightly troubled scuttle in his step.

* * *

"There she is! Monster!"

"Demon!"

"Get outta here! You're bad luck!"

What could the girl do? She ran.

She ignored the pain of her bare feet running over the small rocks. She ignored the chaffing that the bandages she had covering various parts of her body gave off against her skin as she struggled to keep pace away from the stones flying at her.

"Never come back!" Another juvenile voice shouted after her.

They chased along the coastline. The wash of the waves drifting on the great sea beyond could be heard from miles, and the salty breeze provided awful resistance for the girl to get away from her pursuers. She was already gasping for breath. _'Have to…just a bit further…'_

But a stone hit her just right, square on the back of the head. She toppled forward and flew off her feet, plunging face-first into the sandy shore. She scrambled to her knees and coughed up a mouthful of grainy earth. It was no good now: she was surrounded.

All around her, children with self-righteous fury in their eyes, driven mad with a zealous belief that they were purging their village of some great evil. Some of the kids were as young as six; others could have been as old as eighteen. Overtime, however, the victimized girl lost touch of the age difference. To her, there was no more a sense of innocence in the toddlers as in the older delinquents, and every rock hurled at her hurt just as much as the others.

And more came. It was all she could do to get her arms up and hope that they ran out of objects to throw soon. But like that was ever the case. It had always been this way; day in to day out. There was somehow always a limitless supply at their perverse disposal.

"Demon lover! Go back to your nest and stay there!"

She braced herself, but did not beg for mercy. Never did her any good before. The same ruthless mob that didn't listen yesterday wouldn't hear her today. That much was apparent.

"Die!"

Another rock struck her shoulder. She grunted in pain, but bit down on her teeth. It was big enough, though, to make her sink to her side.

Instantly, the circle of bullies around her seemed to become half as wide. Faces were closing in around her. Malicious, hateful faces. _Evil_ faces.

"Today's the day, isn't it, monster? Time we settled this." It was Jovashi. He was the biggest, oldest dog in the pack, and that was probably why he was considered the leader.

"No…don't, p l e a s e…" She croaked. She had been hit so much that she was almost too exhausted to beg for her life even if it was the first thing she wanted to waste energy on. She couldn't believe it. She knew that they had done things before; vandalized her shack, beaten on her, called her names and cursed her to their insatiable hearts' content, but this time…she may not be able to just shrug it off and walk away.

Jovashi was a sadistic kid who was obsessed on proving that nothing with him was a bluff. And as she watched him, tearing a rock half her own size off of the earth with angry muscle – the other kids cheering him on – she had to wonder to herself what – just what – about her had made them so especially angry today? All she did was pass a glance, a glare even, but how could that excuse her position?

They were too far out on the coastline from the village for any of the parents to talk their children down. This could be it. They might actually get away with…

Her eyes flashed open in sheer adrenaline. No. Not here. Not now. She didn't give a damn if she was a monster.

The girl's panic broke through, but she refused to let her body give into it. Instead she scrambled to her feet and made another attempt to split. But another kid tripped her before she could escape the circle, and a few more pebbles pelted her for good measure. "Going somewhere, creature?"

"Pin her down!"

She could fight back. She could. She might be strong enough to square off with the whole gang on her best day. But…she wouldn't have felt herself. It just wasn't in her.

Two kids, not as old or big as Jovashi, seized her by both arms as the head honcho came around with the rock over his head. Behind him, the sun was bright orange, resting on the horizon. The sky was darkening.

The girl's eyes glazed over as she watched him stop in front of her. _'This is it…'_

"This for every life you've taken, demon."

Her eyes shut tightly. Her lip quivered uncontrollably. _'I…'_

The boy's eyes suddenly expanded with rage. "This is for Dad!"

'_I'm really gonna die…!'_

The rock went flying. But not where anyone expected.

From a great crunch of shattering earth, fragments of the practical boulder skipped a mile out into the open sea. The scornful rallying from the group of children had ceased.

All of it…had ceased.

"Hu-huh?" Jovashi's eyes were wide; this time in fear, and his face had come down at least two tones in color.

"My, my…" The humungous sword that had decimated the rock clear from over his head swung around with its familiar gauze as its owner sheathed it to his back. "This is quite the melodrama… All this talk of demons and sea monsters… But doesn't it seem a bit much to be taking all this heat about it out on an unarmed girl?"

"Who-who's _that?_" One of the other kids cried out, pointing at the monstrosity.

"I'm-m scared…!" One of the youngest of the group had already begun to tear up.

"Don't tell me this is…!"

The figure, towering at least a good two feet taller than the group's top dog, ambled slowly into eye of the circle to stand beside the beaten and nearly-sobbing girl. The two boys holding her in place had long since abandoned their jobs.

"This is the real Demon of the Sea?" Renewed and redirected panic filled the coastal air.

"Have some courtesy, boys," a smile full of barbed teeth flourished, "this isn't how gentlemen are supposed to treat ladies."

The girl had opened her eyes to him for the first time, and the first thing she noticed wasn't even his aquatic features – it was the red clouds on his coat. They had almost tricked her eyes into thinking she was looking at the evening sunset, but she quickly realized that this particular sunset belonged to the man who had probably just saved her.

Some of the kids, mainly the younger ones, were frozen on their tracks in shock. Others were probably already home under their beds by the hysterical speed they used to flee.

Jovashi may have been startled by the man's sudden appearance, but that didn't mean he intended to flee. He shook off the shock of the moment and shouted, "Another one? How many of you damn creatures have to spawn before you figure out how much you're not wanted!"

"Before you go getting any bright ideas, boy, I suggest you apologize to _her_ before you deal with _me._"

The thug's hands tightened into fists. "The hell do you think I am? Some demon sympathizer? You can join her at rock bottom!"

He threw a hard right hook, which the larger man easily sidestepped. When he lunged and tried to run him with a straight, his hand was easily caught. A pair of beady white eyes appeared behind it with a horrifying smile almost ear-to-ear. "You're no Mighty Guy, boy."

He twisted on Jovashi's wrist. The girl crouched behind him winced with the gruesomely audible _snap-snap_ that came afterward. The teen fell to his knees with a tormented howl, clutching for not only his broken wrist, but his practically ravaged arm.

"Hehehe, Samehada revels in the sound of your bleating. Shall I finish what you started then?"

"No…!" His frenzied smile disappeared. This word didn't come from his prey, but from the abused girl who had run up between the two. "Please don't!..." She had her arms spread side to side, still fraught with bandages.

"What are you doing, girl? Shouldn't you be getting home? This is no longer your affair. Your life is your own again."

She didn't answer. But she didn't give up her position, either. Jovashi was still behind her, kneeling to contain the coursing pain.

The giant sighed. "I'm trying as best I can to understand the rationale for protecting your would-be killer from your savior. But maybe there's just something you get that I don't?..."

"I know how it looks," her eyes were dry from the tears, "but it's not their fault. He wasn't even going to kill me. They wouldn't have gone through with it."

He leered impatiently down at her. "What an awful liar you are. Step aside."

"No!" She protested. He tore his sword off from his back in response. She continued anyway. "You don't know what I am! Maybe I deserved it!"

Before she saw it coming, he delivered a powerful slap to her face, almost strong enough to be indistinct from a punch, because she flew far to the side and saw nothing but stars afterward. "Yes," he called back. "I _do_ know what you are. And _no._ How dare you say you deserve it." He turned back to the cowering boy and brandished his sword at him. "None of us…deserve it."

Jovashi was either too far gone with pain, fear, founded guilt, or a good dose of everything to speak another intelligible word.

Kisame raised his sword, saying one last thing to the knee-bent child. "Filth like you…is the reason that filth like me exists."

Samehada came down. Hard.

The girl was still recovering from her temporary blindness as she heard his heavy footsteps draw close. When she came completely to, her face darkened with realization as she saw the blotches of a dark red color absorb into his unnatural sword. "You didn't…" She mouthed in a state of bewilderment.

"Go and see for yourself," he said nonchalantly, walking past her to get a view of the ocean.

She turned to the direction he came from and cuffed a hand over her mouth in grief. A new wave of tears flooded her eyes. "No…" A pool of blood – nothing but a large stain on the coast – was all that remained of Jovashi. A boy whose life was cut short before he even became a man…all because of a stupid rumor.

She took her face away from it. She couldn't look. "could you…" It was barely a mumble, but even from as far off as he was standing, Kisame turned.

"What?"

"How could you…?" She repeated herself again and again, each time with more fire behind her tone. "How could you? How COULD YOU?" She rushed him and tried to bring him down with everything she had, but he ended her approach with a swift blow to the gut. She fell to her knees, incapacitated.

"Because you're me." He answered calmly. "And since because I know you're me, I don't appreciate being treated that way." He turned back to watch the last of the sun depart into the waking sea. "You just be grateful I only killed one of them."

"Who…" She gasped and huffed to regain her lost breath. "Who do you think…" She gave up trying. He struck her too hard for her to squeeze any words of relevance out.

He continued staring out, breathing in a deep nostril of fresh ocean breeze. "So this is the Land of Sea. I've missed it so much." He stared on for a few more moments as the girl he rescued recovered, and then turned to pat her on the shoulder. "Relax. It's just one life. You should be fine in a day or two."

She froze, as if trying to process whether what he just said was a sentence or not. "Relax?" She spat up at him. "How can I relax after what I just saw you do to a child? You have no right…"

"I have _full_ right. As I said before, we're the same. And I'm over it already. Didn't even need to know his name. That's how fast it went." He gave her head what was meant to be an encouraging pat and turned to depart. "Have a good one."

He was about five steps off when she spoke again, finishing the question she tried to ask earlier. "Who do you think…is going to be the person to tell Jovashi-san's parents what happened to their boy?" She struggled to keep the grief under.

Kisame stopped at his heels. From under his neckband, he replied. "And I don't even get a thank you. That's no good… Shall I pay his parents a visit and complete the set? Then will you be happy?"

"No," she spoke up with indignation. "Do you even hear your own suggestions?"

"I do," he answered.

"You say we're the same, but you couldn't be more wrong." Suddenly, as if to the snap of a twig, her emotions soared to the limit, and she screamed at him. "The boy you killed disappeared chasing me! Now it's _MY_ responsibility to go back and explain what happened to him! How could you do this to me?"

He rubbed his head. "Okay, now I'm confused. Are you saying that I should've just let you die?"

"That is _exactly_ what you should have done!" She retorted. "Better a warm-blooded person allowed living than a cold-blooded one. And now when I go back they'll, they'll _crucify_ me!"

His frown deepened. "Do you need another smack, girl?"

She grunted in startle and ultimately lowered her head. "There's just no reasoning with…someone like you, is there. You really have…no idea what you've just taken."

"It's called a life, and it isn't the first to go, you know." He walked up to her and put a hand on her shoulder. She tried to shake it off, but it just made him hold firmer. "It's not that I can't be reasoned with. You're just not making sense, my dear. Saying that it's better a warm-blooded person is allowed to live than a cold-blooded one is just like saying that warm-blooded murder is more appropriate than a cold-blooded murder. People are people; murder is murder." He gently took her hand and used it to wipe a distraught tear from her now void eyes. "What's your name?"

She stared on as if she was gazing right through him, even as he tilted her chin up to look him in the eye. After a long moment, she broke contact and murmured her answer down at his feet,

"Isaribi."

Then, Isaribi," he continued. "So long as the prejudice we've both experienced today and all the times that came before continue to exist – which it always will…I can safely guarantee by that lovely name of yours that there will be plenty of time for both the murder you hate so much and the people that you should remember empathize with you."

She stared down emptily at the pebbles and sand under her feet, and was reminded only of the horrible stones that assaulted her.

Kisame took his hand off her shoulder and began to shove off once more, hauling his greatsword effortlessly over his shoulder as he advanced up the hill towards the port.

As he walked away, leaving tracks in the wet sand for the tide to pick up after, he called back using only the volume of his voice. "And among the people that empathize with you, you might as well remember Hoshigaki Kisame; Monster of the Hidden Mist…and the cold-blooded person that saved your measly life."

The village pariah gazed mournfully down at her hands, clasped together in a tight cuff. She tried to keep trauma to a minimum, but no matter how firm she commanded her body to stand, the poor girl continued to tremble.

* * *

It was another cold day. Then again, all days seemed pretty cold when you spent them living in an aquarium at the base of a dimly-lit laboratory. At the metal bottom of his bland, watery prison, a nude boy lounged about with his leg crossed over, twitching his foot as if to a hidden rhythm as his arms folded neatly behind his head in relaxation.

Then his head shifted, as if something had gotten his attention, and he let himself float up off his resting spot. He put his hand to the reinforced glass wall keeping him in, and got the attention of one of the few scientists supervising him.

A razor-sharp smile spread over his mouth like a disease. Between the evil face and the murky blue thickness of the water, the man in the white uniform nearly pissed himself, much to the boy's amusement.

"Hey," he called, his voice hindered by a slight muffle over the glass. "Today feels like a special day, today. Know why?"

"What are you talking about?" The man inquired nervously. "Go back to your business, Project Hōzuki."

The captive boy's grin turned into a disdainful frown. "Suigetsu." He corrected wearily, as if he had made the same one hundreds of times before. "Just thought you should know that something today has made me particularly happy. Wanna know why?"

The man decided to humor his subject. "Why, Suigetsu?"

His smile returned. "I think I'm going home soon."

The man shook his head to oppose the idea. "That's for us to decide, Project Hōzuki. We're not done running your tests yet. I'm afraid you can't leave."

But the look in the subject's eye drove chills up his supervisor's spine, and he oh too eagerly continued to make his routine rounds away while Suigetsu just kept smiling.

…And smiling…

…And smiling.

Yes, it would be shocking should any of these researchers suddenly discover that really, Suigetsu could leave whether they consented to it or not.

But as far as he cared at this point, that was _their_ problem.

"Sorry boys," the disclosed words never reached the outside of the tank, "That's the way things float here. The lower overcoming the higher…"

**A/N: Chappie was a bit of an angsty downer today, yeah. The next one will have more humor for those of you who care, I promise. I just have to keep a consistent flow on the theme of the story not so that it turns into an overdrama, but so people take it seriously enough where it counts. This isn't a crack fanfic, after all. [It's real life. O,o]**

**Those of you unfamiliar with Isaribi, go amend yourselves by watching the filler arc (it's a good'n, I promise; my personal favorite). Mutant sea monsters with self-esteem issues and skin complexes are riots.  
**


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